lusting after women is driving me crazy

[Guest guest]

Hi, I can't stop thinking/lusting after the female form. Whether it be through pictures, videos, or real life. Whenever I see a woman, sexual desires enter my mind. This occurs almost all of the time, all day long. However, at the same time, my attraction to Krsna is growing stronger and stronger. I can't stop thinking about Him, chanting His names, reading His lilas. If I try to restrain all sexual urges, I know I will go crazy...so what should I do? Can I keep lusting, but somehow channel it towards Krsna? If so, how?

[theist]

Welcome to the battlefield. You can't stop that sense drive by any process other than strengthening your attachment to Krsna, which you say is growing.

 

There are some techniques which help a little. Like trying to just observe the lust as it appears and maintain the observer position. The lust comes, the head turns,you are aware of the feelings and then it passes. Remember Krsna as you just watch this experience pass by.

 

You might try studying some gross anatamony and then force yourself to see the raw truth of the bodies as they are.

 

I have some videos and books with actual pictures(photos not drawings) of cadavers all cut up, skinned and exposing the whole mess. The muscular and skeletal system, the veinous system, the internal organs etc.

 

See it for what it is. At first you are overtaken by aversion but then you get past that and can see it for what it is. A machine.

 

For instance we are attracted to experiencing our body kissing the mouth of some pretty woman. So just think what a mouth is. It's the end of a long tube that runs down to the stomach and then further that tube becomes the intestines and finally an anus on the other end. That is what we are kissing. A tube that ingests and digests food, absorbs nutrients, and forms and expells turds.

 

Do we really want to kiss the 'sweet' end of such a tube?

 

If we saw one lying by the side of the road would we pick it up and upon figuring out which hole is the anus and which is the mouth then begin to kiss the mouth end?

 

Behind it all we want to love and experience intimacy with another living being. But this natural desire of the soul cannot be satified by substituting some biological machine for a real person, that is, another soul.

 

 

Only one who can learn the process of nescience and that of transcendental knowledge side by side can transcend the influence of repeated birth and death and enjoy the full blessing of immortality.-Sri Isopanishad mantra 11

 

 

Knowledge breeds detachment. Understanding what we are and what we are not.

 

But truthfully we won't really suceed fully this way. It may be somewhat helpful. Our only hope is for Krsna to reach down and pick us up. The more we chant and pray for mercy the better off we will be.

 

Patient determination fellow soul.

 

Hare Krsna

[livingentity]

Here is a story that Prabhupada told =============

 

Once upon a time there was a prince who met very beautiful young

girl. He visited her house to see her but she was very chaste. The

prince wanted to marry this beautiful girl but she didn't want to

marry him. So she said to the prince, "Alright, you want to marry

me, you are attracted by my beauty, so I will distil my beauty in

the next ten days, I will distil my beauty into liquid form and

then you can come and see this distilled form of my beauty." So

the prince said, "Alright." Then she said, "If you still want to

take me as your wife then you can take me." The prince replied,

"Alright, that's fine, I'll come back in ten days and certainly

I'll take you as my wife my beautiful young maiden."

 

As soon he left the beautiful young girl started to take very

strong purgatives, medicine which would cause her to vomit and

pass stool. She kept all the vomit and stool in a big pot. She

didn't eat anything, she was simply passing stool and vomiting, so

within ten days her whole beautiful body was destroyed. She was a

grey colour, she was very skinny, very weak, you couldn't

recognize her as the same person.

 

After ten days the prince came back to visit the beautiful girl.

She opened the door for him. When the prince saw her he said, "I

have come to see one very beautiful lady who I am about to marry."

So the girl said, "I am that beautiful young lady." He replied,

"No it isn't true. How could it be possible?" She said, "Yes I am

that beautiful young lady, I have distilled my beauty, come and

see it." The prince thought, "This will be interesting." She took

him to the place where she was keeping the big pot containing all

of her stool, vomit and urine and she said, "Here is my beauty."

 

This is the story of liquid beauty, and it is a fact. That is

actually the beauty of the material body, it's simply a bag of

pus, stool, urine, blood, mucus, horrible things. And we are just

attached to the skin and as soon as the skin is no longer

beautiful we are not attracted any more.

[yasodanandana]

eh!!... no problem, you are just a normal male human being with all the hormons and everything at his place..

 

the key is not stopping to act, the key is to spend more time with krsna and, as a consequence, to spend less time with maya

 

so chant hare krsna, increase your japa rounds and their quality, read devotional books, meet and associate with devotees, join or build nama hatta groups, accept services even at home more as possible

 

---

 

and..... take a wife (or a girlfriend if you are young!!)... better if a krsna devotee one

 

in this way your lust will hopefully be for your legitimate wife/grilfriend and not for all the girls in the world.... a great improvement!!!

 

the key is "association and chanting"

[I_love_krishna_]

In buddhist meditations , such as metta meditations, you try to observe the mind like it is a movie or something.

 

Try it, just observe the thoughts that run through your mind when you see a beautiful figure, but do not provoke them and do not be a part of them... stand aside in yourself and also do not act toward such thoughts.

 

This way, you will see that what you are fighting is a natural occurence. When you recognize it as a natural occurence, you will certainly not fight it then continue with krishna- then he will surely decrease your attraction to this material world and increase the dormant attraction that you have for him (gradually).

 

To fight the maya is not with in your control, you can't help it, but to act in maya or to not act in maya is with in your control.

 

So, leave the fighting to krishna and act for krishna, not for maya. In other words, what I am trying to say is do not act in those thoughts, just let them pass... do not provoke them or subdue them by force.

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

welcome to the club.

 

this is why it is said that person who can conqure the universe is nto as glorous as person who can conqure lust.

[srinivas]

And if the sexual urge has to be controlled you have to do fasting .

 

And fasting also strengtens the mind.

 

Fast once a week on friuts/satvic guna will become more.You are in rajasic guna if you have more sexual urge.

 

Avoid spicy food,throw out all the literature/videos you have collected.

 

If you want instant relief from lustfull thoughts drinking 2-3 glasses of water and deep breathing 2-3 minutes will help to neautralize the emotion.Then slowly breath to normal.

 

Food/Breathing(Pranayama) have a direct influence on our lust.Do the suppress your thoughts but simply realize that your mind is up to its tricks.If you follow the above two it will be possible.

 

 

[Guest guest]

Lust is the all-devouring sinful enemy of world,

according to Bhagavad Gita.

This fiery demon is devouring wholemeal the entire material cosmos from Brahmaloka down to Patala.

How to fight this demon?

Certainly not by our own strength!

But by the causeless mercy of the Holy Name-chanting the Mahamantra.

And offering humble prayers of submission and repentance

at the lotus feet of the Supreme Lord Sri Krishna .

[Guest guest]

 

 

Sexual love, so inequitably praised by the society, in reality is nothing but a serious

mental disease, and has numerous negative consequences: from depression and loss of

working efficiency to crime and suicide.

 

Despite the wide spreading of this problem,

attempts to cure the disease are usually made only in its worst stage. It is known, however,

that the best way to avoid illness if prophylaxis.

 

Despite obvious physiological origins of the problem, psychological approach is

extremely important in this case.

 

There are several methods that are believed to

be helpful to prevent, or cure, sex love(kama).

 

Logical analysis method

 

Weigh pros and contras calmly and objectively. What can love give you? Even if

everything goes successfully, the brief euphoria, which is in no way better than alcohol

intoxication, will eventually fade out leaving behind controversy and conflicts. If even both

you and your spouse behave honorably (and that you can never be sure of!), parting will

be a very unpleasant experience nevertheless. To love means to lose. Including the loss

of your freedom. Love is a voluntary, and therefore the worst, form of slavery;

remember your dignity: do you really want to be a slave? Love will steal your time, nerves,

energy, money; you may lose friends, job - and in exchange end up with some memories, and

not always pleasant ones. Remember how many evil and crime was done because of love

throughout the history; remember all the people whose insanity brought harm to themselves

and to others. And this dangerous madness still appeals to you?

 

Extrapolation method

 

If, despite all reasons, romantic fantasies are defeating you, and you do hope that "in

our case everything will be different" - try to imagine that "different case": day by

day, month by month. The novelty of the relationship is gone; most topics worth

discussion are depleted. The only left are daily routine and weather, which you could as well

talk about with anyone. You discover more and more unpleasant features of your partner

(alas, we all have some...) Imagine that close relationship, day by day with the same

person, and you will feel great boredom coming over to you.

 

Proper lifestyle

 

Remember that idleness is the mother of all sins. If your mind is idle, it would be no

wonder if your head gets full of nonsense. If you are involved in intense intellectual

activity that makes you happy, if you have an interesting occupation (whether you job

or hobby) - thoughts of sex would hardly conquer your attention. Do not get caught by

false propaganda from people who hide their weakness by calling it "the ultimate goal of

a human being": they deserve pity (or even contempt), they have flooded the world with

most stupid slogans praising the insanity of love. That reminds of "philosophy" of

alcoholics and drug abusers who do not wish to overcome their addiction. Keep away from

that, and be proud of yourself, which is far better than imaginary "love charms"

 

Pasteur method

 

As it is well known, Pasteur suggested that a weakened sample of bacteria be injected

into the body, in order to stimulate immunity. If you are tired of suppressing

persistent romantic fantasies, let them go - in your mind, of course, not in practice. Think

only about that for a certain time, do not let your mind switch to anything else, rolling

the same scenes of imaginary dates over and over. Read several feeble love stories

(feeble they are all, though.) You may even come in contact with a person of opposite sex

(whom you are sure you have no "special attitude" to.) After some time romantic

fantasies will start to bore and disgust you.

 

Didactic method

 

When temptation is too strong, read something aimed against it, talk to a person who is

against sexual love. Such simple support often proves effective. For religious people,

a prayer or advice from a priest would certainly help.

 

Isolationism method

 

If you see that no reason can defeat your feelings towards a particular person, use the

rule: "What eye does not see...". Break all contacts with that person. It is only said

in the books that love survives for decades in such cases; in fact, if not stimulated

on purpose, in will fade out rather soon - especially if combined with the previous

methods.

 

 

Addendum. Adjoins to the logical analysis method, but applies only to people who share

spiritual opinion on marriage.

 

Goal-setting method

 

Think: what will be the long-term consequences of this love? Either to adultery or

marriage. If the first, and note how can it be "love

forever" if you fear permanent bonds.

 

The only left is marriage. An institution of unity established by God for the sake of

continuation of the humankind. Inseparable, righteous....

 

So you need to look honestly for the possibility of such in your life. First: will you

be able to live a life with the object of your love? Is your mutual understanding deep

enough? If emotional rush and idolization pass, will you find a way to live together

then? Do your financial, business, home priorities match? If your relationship does not

allow to discuss such matters (and there is nothing inappropriate in them if marriage is

considered), then it is nothing but "fun", at least for now.

 

Second, the material side. Can you afford a family of your own? And alone - for who

knows what might happen to your spouse, and you have to be able to support a family on

your own.

 

If all aspects of the relationship (think _thoroughly_) prove strong enough, and all

material requirements are met - then it is not worth the time to be "sick of love",

instead you should make an official offer.

 

If it is not so, you should not pretend that it is.