love, dating and arranged marriages

[Subala]

/clap

 

very nice post!

 

I saved it and probably use it in future (like slip into the mail to the girl I may wish to marry so she can read it)

 

/images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

 

PS. But yes - it is very nice post. Man usually quote the part of women is created to serve the man... and forgeting what man is supposed to do.... like man without vision (goal in life) shall perish. There is much more but this post is really needs to be somewhere on matrimonial page somewhere....

 

 

[Guest guest]

The Purpose Of Marriage

 

BY ARJUNANATHA DASA

 

EDITORIAL, Oct 12 (VNN) — In his article "Now Try To Define A 'Man' Or A 'Woman", Bhakti Anand Goswami mentions a proposed American bill which apparently would outlaw all marriage except that between a man and a woman. Maharaja does this by arguing that there are many people of indeterminate and unprovable gender, and that implementation of such a law would therefore collapse in a legal-scientific mess.

 

Maharaja makes completely correct logical statements and conclusions, but his is a kind of argument which takes an issue and examines how an opposing view would work in particular unusual circumstances. The facts are that hermaphrodites are extremely rare, and the issue at large is legal and, in this forum, religious acceptance of same-sex marriages.

 

I'm not going to try to defend the bill, which I had never heard of before reading Maharaj's article. However, I do wish to defend heterosexual marriage, and my considered view is that legalising and religiously blessing same-sex marriage puts another nail in the coffin of heterosexual religious marriage.

 

As vaishnavas, we have little to do with making laws; our role is to understand and explain Vedic philosophy.

 

Marriage is a very important part of every society. It binds families together, and provides the social glue by which we regulate our senses. Whether grihasta or gramhidi, it defines obligations, rights and expectations, particularly benefiting children. In fact, its primary purpose is to provide a religious and stable environment for children to grow up in. Srila Prabhupada often pointed out that if women are freely available for sexual exploitation by men, then there is less incentive for the men to marry and protect women. ("When there is milk available in the marketplace, why keep a cow?"). His position is that women should always be protected by a father, husband or son. Krishna states in Bhagavad-Gita, "I am sex-life which is not contrary to the vedas". Conversely, unwanted children, the product of illicit sex, bring about a chaotic society, a fact which Arjuna states in the first chapter of Bhagavad-Gita.

 

The twentieth century has seen a steady erosion of the institution of marriage through the liberalisation of divorce laws and growing social acceptability of sex outside marriage, illegitimacy and divorce. It is now the case in many countries that a married couple receive no or little financial benefits compared to a co-habiting couple in the areas of tax, pensions and other benefits. Many of these 'reforms' have come about as part of a zealous movement of non-discrimination to be applied whatever a person's circumstances, whether unmarried, female or homosexual: circumstances seen as liable to unwarranted negative discrimination.

 

The upshot of all this is that there is little external incentive for people, especially men, to marry; when they do, little incentive for them to keep their vows, and every incentive to divorce if not completely satisfied.

 

It should be understood that marriage is, in some ways, an austerity, an ashrama, and a set of obligations. Without it, human society is degraded further along the path of Kali-Yuga. When cohabiting partners of whatever sex are given 'equal rights', to share tax allowances, to inherit pensions and to receive religious blessings on their union, this reduces the finances available to be distributed to married couples, devalues society's expectations of marriage, degrades the meaning of religious marriage, and enfeebles whatever right-on religion is bending with Kali-Yuga cultural norms to bless such unions.

 

I applaud GALVA's writings about spirituality and the 'third sex'. I'm sure there are lots of gay/lesbian/'other' devotees with great devotion and ability to regulate their senses just as well or better than many heterosexual devotees. I know that heterosexuality is rarely a 100% thing. I also understand what marriage is, from shastra:

 

"The purpose of accepting a wife in religious marriage, as sanctioned in the Vedas, is to have a putra, a son qualified to deliver his father from the darkest region of hellish life. Marriage is not intended for sense gratification but for getting a son fully qualified to deliver his father." SB 4.21.46p

 

So how is this purpose of marriage served by 'marrying' people who cannot conceive children, whatever their sex? Perhaps a way out for the legislators Maharaja attacks would be for marriage to be defined as legal 'between two people where there is a reasonable expectation that they are capable of procreation'.

 

Your servant,

Arjunanatha dasa

[Guest guest]

Ideally there should be a spiritual relationship

between husband and wife

The husband is the guru for the wife in ancient Vedic times.

 

But for Now they should at least have the same Guru,i.e,,following the same authority,spiritual preceptor,

So that both parties can concur on where we go from here.

 

We ultimately are really"married" to the spiritual master life after life,

in this life we ought to see the wife as guru dasi;

the wife should see the husband as guru dasa.

 

We are married for service,

i.e.for the procreation of Krishna Conscious children

and raising them as devotees of the Lord.

Very important service indeed!

 

So sex is required for this seva for Krishna's pleasure.

Otherwise sex is maya and misery for the really Krishna Conscious soul,

who is on the path of Krishna bhakti.Yes?

[Haridham]

I agree but first the husband has to become qualified to be a guru. Just because he is the husband doesnt make him the guru. Also the wife is a devi(goddess)

 

We should both use our marriage in krsna's service.

 

The reason i mentioned about the guru thing is because I met someone who used to abuse his wife, call her names, etc, etc, etc and told me that he did it because he was the guru adn the wife was his slave.

 

So thats why the husband must know what the proper duty of a husband is. LIke in the bhagavatam it says one cannot become a husband, father, mother, wife, guru, or worshipable demigod unless he can liberate his dependents.

 

Hare Krsna

[Guest guest]

Well I am only 12 yrs old and won't be able to marry you all though I dreming about having one when I grow older and to be able to have children with my one true love [if I do because I am fat].

[Guest guest]

And when it is time, the key is that your mate exhibit a service attitude. A wife serves the husband and the husband serves the wife. If there is a master in the house, run like holy hell, for you have found a demon who thinks he is Krsna.

 

This master consciousness has ruined many ignorant people. Srila Prabhupada never taught that anyone was a master other than Krsna. Krsna alone is Parusa, everyone else is prakrti, dasa, servant. Srila Prabhupada exhibited service, not mastery. He never advertized his name, in fact, he minimized it by using only his initials (AC = Abhay Charan .). The only other names he uses are names he accepts in service. He accepts the title bhaktivedanta in service to GM, he accepts Swami in service to his sanyassi guru, and he accepts the title Prabhupada in se4rvice to his disciples. Where his disciples have gotton their insane desire to be master is not from Srila Prabhupada, it is a concoction caused by grievous offense to him.

 

So, the vaisnava husband serves the vaisnava wife, it is natural, because vaisnavas serve the vaisnava, and they receive SERVICE in return, just as Srila Prabhupada is the SERVANT of even his disciples.

 

Ya wanna serve a master, or be a master, go somewhere else. Vaisnavas serve servants, how clear does this need to be made.

 

hare krsna, yer surf ant, mahaksadasa