Question regarding offering service to Vaishnavas

[Guest guest]

Hare Krishna,

 

I don't know if it is normal for Vaishnavas, but every time I offer my services to the temple I get the answer: "Only if you want to prabhu." or similar.

 

I may be too simple or stupid, but my idea of even offering service is because I want to, and if I don't want I won't offer service without any fear. I may be offensive in taking this answer a rejection from the devotee as this is simply common fact around me.

 

I've lost a lot of enthusiasm serving my local temple due to this response I get from every devotee there. I'm very sorry if I am a total loser in social environments, I'm often wondering if these answers are not more duplicitous. Somekind of graceful rejection of some sort.

 

I may sound like an exploiter when someone asks me to help me in service and I answer: "Of course Prabhu, your help is most welcomed.", even if I know I don't need help, I prefer making others feel useful especially if they ask.

 

What you senior devotees think?

[gHari]

My guess is that since they all have the same line, that in the past some guests had felt used by some of the temple devotees. The President likely told them all to stop forcing guests to do their chores.

[theist]

Not a senior or devotee anything but gHari is correct. Like in Berkeley years back there was this one guy who would force people into washing pots for their lunch.

 

First someone on sankirtan would innocently invite them for lunch and then he would shame them by "subtley" accusing them of trying to get free food. I remember many many such incidents with different devotees.

 

I think they are just trying to avoid that mistake as all service should be voluntary. Actually they are showing you respect. It may seem a little 'arms length' at this point but as you continue to do service you will become more familiar and then closer frendships will develop and they will feel they can be less formal without alieniating you.

 

But no matter what you should keep offering service.

 

Hare Krsna

[Guest guest]

Hare Krishna Theist and GHari prabhus,

 

What I may have forgotten to say is that I'm not a occasional guest, I've been around that temple for over 2 years now. (Although timewise I'm the newbie in that temple)

 

I know I maybe overreacting. I was simply asking if this is current in other temples.

 

As far as close friendships... this may be the problem, I prefer staying distant from people. But they know me, I've often said: "I'm a doer not a talker."

 

Anyways, I can see where this is heading me, I understand it is some problems with me and my social acceptance.

 

Sorry for the bother.

[Govindaram]

Hare Krishna

 

I can be distant with ppls often and they mistake this part of me for lack of enthusiasm, so with what you are saying i'd say use words instead which are more positive.

 

I am not a senior devotee (hehe), but i know a little how you feel about being distant.

 

[Kulapavana]

come to our temple to render service anytime! /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[Guest guest]

Count your blessins. ha I was never told 'only if you want to.' I was told to do it and it was understood I better. And any service I did at home was not recognized. I hold no regrets, as its service to Krishna which is always beneficial. But here we are speaking of the mood of approach used by various devotees.

 

Times have changed, (some) devotees have matrued. Tho there is still work to be done. Eventually a few said to me 'only if you want to,' but what they really meant was 'and if you dont want to, you are in maya.' ha So it was word jugglery. Not that all are. Some mean it well, others don't, but its true that being personal is hard for some and being distant is easier.

 

YS,

Prtha dd

[theist]

You sound like me in a lot of ways. I prefer to stay aloof around temples especially. One thing I have noticed is that peolple that live there can't really evaluate our situations as well as we might think they can. They are often just caught up in their own attempts to get through this material maze as much as we are. They can't really see your level of sincerity.

 

Keep doing your service and don't worry if anyone other than Krsna shows appreciation, which He surely will.

 

I really understand your situation more than you may realize.

 

Stay strong and chant always.

 

Hare Krsna

[Kulapavana]

yes Pritha, many times the temple authorities would pressure devotees to do service. such pressure should be done in a delicate way as to avoid leaving bad taste in person doing the service, but pressure is often unavoidable, as most people are quite lazy by nature. I have been a manager practically all my adult life, both inside our movement and in the outside business world. Good (and willing) help is hard to find. I have gotten better at engaging people in service, but remember the verse: "manda sumanda bhaga.."? it is true! /images/graemlins/wink.gif