Guest guest Posted October 20, 2003 Report Share Posted October 20, 2003 I dont know what I feel is normal and I know some of you are going to be freaked out. for the past few years, ever since I started readig Gita with my mind into it, I could not stop thinking of Shree Krishna all the time. I dont even feel like working or do my routines and all that I want is keep talking to Krishna all the time. I feel like He is with me all the time and I give Him food when I eat. Please dont get freaked out. I keep some food for Him in my fridge everyday from whatever I eat. I am loosing interest in marriage and I pray to Him, if He has destined any marriage for me then He only should come. If my parents come to know this, they will be shocked or think that I am crazy and become mad. I know for sure I am not in delusion. I stopped watching movies, stopped thinking anything about sex and I feel like hurting Him if I do these things. For all that matter, I am not sanyasi or brought up like that. I dont know if I am mixing up Bhakthi and love and what I feel is not sexual, but just obsessive love for Shree Krishna and I dont know how to explain. AM I going crazy or does everyone feel attracted to Krishna when you read Gita. Now I dont want anything else and I keep on dreaming about His presence with me all the time. I am loosing interest in my friends also and the only topic I talk to my friends is about Krishna and I tell everyone to chant the slokas for Him and two of my friends even wondered what is happening to me. Is there anything abnormal or its a deep bhakthi which everyone feels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaurasundara Posted October 20, 2003 Report Share Posted October 20, 2003 If it helps in any way, I hope that one day I can feel what you feel. You are an inspiration! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Govindaram Posted October 20, 2003 Report Share Posted October 20, 2003 yep, the Bhagavad Gita As It Is is powerful indeed.. Read it on-line! Buy it on-line! Haribol! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 20, 2003 Report Share Posted October 20, 2003 So do you think its fine. What a relief and I am very happy to read your sentences. I friends started looking at me in weird way and they stopped answering if I ask anything or talk annything about Krishna. I dont know how I am going to tell my parents about this. Anyways I am born in Vaishnava family in India and hopefully they will understand. I am trying to compose few sonets on Krishna for Him to come and explain my friends and to my people..I know He will come to me and help as a friend. thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AGTSP Posted October 20, 2003 Report Share Posted October 20, 2003 The emotions you are exhibiting are the characteristics of ecstatic love for Krsna ! (1) He is always anxious to utilize his time in the devotional service of the Lord. (2) He is always reserved and perseverant. (3) He is always detached from all material attraction. (4) He does not long for any material respect in return for his activities. (5) He is always certain that Krsna will bestow His mercy upon him. (6) He is always very eager to serve the Lord faithfully. (7) He is very much attached to the chanting of the holy names of the Lord. (8) He is always eager to describe the transcendental qualities of the Lord. (9) He is very pleased to live in a place where the Lord's pastimes are performed. chant and do not fear ! /images/graemlins/smile.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bhavini Posted October 20, 2003 Report Share Posted October 20, 2003 There was a time I felt exactly the same. It was after I watched a film about the life of Jesus. It hit me really hard. I couldn't stop thinking about Jesus and God. I became so isolated that I didn't speak to anyone for about 3/4 days. I didn't feel like doing anything like eating, sleeping, socialising. I only felt like devoting myself to the Lord. I don't know how to help you but really if you think about you don't need help. It's the others that need help. You seem like an enlightened devotee. It's special when you realise that nothing is more important than Krishna and He is everything and the cause of everything. I just wish there were more people feeling like this. All I can say is strenghthen the relationship with Krishna and carry on as you are so you don't fall into the lap of Maya though saying that it is impossible for a devotee to become a slave to Maya. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 20, 2003 Report Share Posted October 20, 2003 Thanks to all. I do have the same picture in ur id in my pooja and I keep staring at it all the time. I feel happy to read all these comments. Bavini for you, you felt like me 3/4 days, but I am feeling all through several months and I have come to a stage, I dont talk anything other than Him, which piss of my friends sometime although they respect me a lot which i can feel. They also feel that I am cranky sometimes. Anyway I dont care now. I rush to home for lunch from work just to give Krishna some food before I have my lunch. This scared my friends and I could not stop doing it now. Due to some heavy work, if I dont go, I feel disturbed that He is waiting for me with hungry stomach. When I go in the evening I cry in front of Him and light thhe lamp and give flowers to make Him happy. While writing this also I am actually crying and hiding it from my colleagues not to see it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bhavini Posted October 20, 2003 Report Share Posted October 20, 2003 What I meant was those 3/4 days were really intense. After that I spoke to my sister about it cos i felt like I was going mad but she reassured me and we help each other understand what we're going through. At the moment I do participate in normal activities while still thinking it's all worthless and doesn't compare to devotional service. I have no enthusiasm or desire for mundane or material things. I think you are really inspiring. I didn't mean to say I was only devoted for 3 days. I just live like the "lotus", In that though we live in this material existence yet we still remain elevated above it spiritually. Btw I know how you feel about friends not understanding, I virtually don't have any proper friends who I can talk to about Krishna cos I know they won't understand. Thankfully my sisters are alright about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kulapavana Posted October 20, 2003 Report Share Posted October 20, 2003 keep it up for the next 50+ years and you will be all set! /images/graemlins/wink.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 20, 2003 Report Share Posted October 20, 2003 Good to know, there are people like me. I guess from your name you are a girl. But I am not. This is more critical for a guy to be emotionally attached to God. If a girl cry people dont misunderstand, but if a guy cry for God also, nobody respects him. They feel he is girlish while I am not girlish, but I am very emotionally attached to Shree Krishna which I dont how to make others understand. You wont beleive, once I had ambitions to buy BMW which was my favourite car, now I am happy with whatever I have as I have lost interest in those things and all that I want is to see Krishna as my friend who would love me for ever unconditionally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theist Posted October 20, 2003 Report Share Posted October 20, 2003 and withdraw to your inner closet during such times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShegavichaRana Posted October 21, 2003 Report Share Posted October 21, 2003 for your present state of mind. As you seem to be deeply devoted to the Lord Krishna. But remember one thing, our mind is a trickster, it constantly wants something new to entertain itself. Unless you hold on to this condition, your mind might waiver again and fall back in the same old dirt of sense gratification. So do not be afraid of your present state. If it really continues this way, then, you would be a great Sadhaka (spiritual aspirant) and soon reach ShriHari. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2003 Report Share Posted October 21, 2003 Yes I have crossed the stage of falling into pit again and again. I had the advantage of knowing and chanting Krishna's name from my very young age itself as my father is a great devotee and being born in Vaishnava Brahmin family. But my devotion has become intense towards Him more than anyone in my family I beleive and thats why I dont want to scare them. I hope and pray that as long as I live iin this body and after leaving this also, I keep chanting His name and be in Love with Him always. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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