vanamali Posted October 24, 2003 Report Share Posted October 24, 2003 Hi there! I'm going to Tirupati (getting married there + pilgrimage)and as you probably know one of the possible vows you can take is to get your head shaved, both male and female. I was wondering if any of you ladies have ever done this. I haven't taken this vow as of yet, though I thought I would, but it has become surprisingly hard for me, as it takes such a long time to grow. I feel kind of selfish, but at the same time, I have the feeling that Sri Venkateshwara doesn't need me to do him any favors, and if I were to give to him reluctanly... well that would be contrary to the nature of our general relationship together. Please share with me your experiences so that I may regain my positive attitude! Thanks! ~Vanamali Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haridham Posted October 24, 2003 Report Share Posted October 24, 2003 Well I think that any vow is nice but you must do it willingly and not out of regret. Marriage is a big step now, I just got married last march. I didnt shave my head or anything like that but my vow was already taken to serve krsna and my guru maharaj eternely when I got Diksa. If you feel that you will become more devoted then do it, but if its just a one time thing just for the marriage then....anyways.... Thats just how I feel. Devotion is eternel servitude not just something done once in a life time because something auspicious is happening. I recommend you ask Paramatma in your heart and he will guide you. I personally think if you take a vow of chanting Hare Krsna all your life then all other vows are automaticaly included. Ofcourse one should always keep krsna in the centre of the marriage as marriage is for a spiritual purpose and not because society or cast wants you to do it. Boy I hope I havent said to much. Hare Krsna. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 25, 2003 Report Share Posted October 25, 2003 Hi Vanamali, Please dont shave your head. Its your marriage. Brides are supposed to have long hair during marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 25, 2003 Report Share Posted October 25, 2003 Years ago, my wife and daughter shaved their heads because they had caught head lice in Hawaii. Head lice are a common problem in Hawaii. The Hawaiian word for lice is uku. It is where the word ukulele comes from. My wife actually thought it was kind of neat shaving her head, but my daughter was not quite as enthusiastic. They wore scarves while they were waiting for their hair to grow back. It is indeed an austerity to shave one's head, especially for a woman. You said,"I have the feeling that Sri Venkateshwara doesn't need me to do him any favors." The Lord does not require any favors from us, in fact, He requires nothing from us. However, if we perform some austerity for Him, then He becomes a little indebted to us. If we want to make spiritual advancement, then we willingly take on some austerities. Of course, whatever we offer to the Lord should be a willing and loving offering. Your servant, Forrest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Priitaa Posted October 25, 2003 Report Share Posted October 25, 2003 I don't know if that is a Hindu practice, but I have never ever heard of a bride shaving her head. A husand, yes, but never a bride! My understanding is that in the first three ashrama's of life, women are not to shave their heads, but in the last one some say its ok. Even that, however, is not a requirement. Just my two cents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaurasundara Posted October 25, 2003 Report Share Posted October 25, 2003 When I used to live in South India, I often met with families who had been to the Tirupati shrine. All the women in these families had had their heads shaved, whether they were old women or little girls. I didn't think that they saw it as a problem, rather they did what was "par for the course" when going to Tirupathi. I also have a fascination with this custom of head-shaving. Why does anyone shave their heads when going to Tirupathi? What is the reason behind it? Is there soemthing in the scriptures about it? I would like to know. To get back to your question, I am not a woman and so I cannot give advice! /images/graemlins/grin.gif I can only say that I saw a lot of women who did shave their heads and I've also seen those who have not. It's really up to you to decide, I guess. Haribol! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 25, 2003 Report Share Posted October 25, 2003 The practice in Tirupati is that the hair taken from pilgrims is weaved into wigs which are then sold to earn money for decorating Lord Venakteshwara. As far as the pilgrims are concerned, the shaving of hair is intended as a sacrifice to the Lord. One is sacrificing one's pride and vanity (by giving up one's hair) to stand before the Lord without such impediments in the way. As far as vanamali is concerned, I guess I would ask you to ask your husband-to-be about this before doing something so drastic as shaving hair. After all, if he is marrying you, maybe he should have a say in it. It does take a while for women to grow back hair, which in traditional Vedic culture is to be grown out long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 25, 2003 Report Share Posted October 25, 2003 It will make you body concious by making you self conscious. First, all you will think about is your chrome dome and always wonder if people are staring at you. Then, you will go through years of regrowth starting with itching scratchy stubble which will also make you self concious. Better to remain conscious of Lord Krishna. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Priitaa Posted October 25, 2003 Report Share Posted October 25, 2003 Interesting. If it were me I would probably feel bad for not contributing to the Deity tho. Therefore maybe there is an alternative. Could she give a donation equivalent to the price her hair would have brought in to the Deity? How much does hair go for these days? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vanamali Posted October 25, 2003 Author Report Share Posted October 25, 2003 My husband will definitely shave his, and he doesn't care about what I look like. It doesn't matter to him if I shave it or not. When going to tirupati, if you don't want to shave your head, you can just give one hair from four sides of your head. I think if I still have reservations when I go to tirupati I will just wait till next time to shave it. My mother in law does not shave her head when she goes. Otherwise, going to see the god makes me a little crazy sometimes, so I might just do it. I guess best thing to do is not think about it too much. Just do it or don't do it, not a big deal. Anyway, we will be climbing up the hill (about 3-4 hours climb) to fulfill one vow. Hopefully we will be there for Friday abishekam, really the only time you can see Sri Venkateshwara's eyes, because they take off all the jewellry, including the huge namam, for the bath. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 25, 2003 Report Share Posted October 25, 2003 I wish you a happy married life, It is not the tradition that counts though, it is the act. So, even if you don't shave your head, if you take out all vanity and present yourself with humility before God, then I think that pleases Him more than shaving your head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vsdprasad Posted October 26, 2003 Report Share Posted October 26, 2003 It is not customary for ladies to tonsure their heads completely. Just small strands from the four sides would do. Very few women go for a complete tonsure, & most of them belong to rural places. So its their personal wish. It is also said that vaishnavites are not supposed to go for complete tonsure. Here's the reason (from a SriVaishnavite resource): 1. Hair on the head is compared to the infinite desires of the mind of various kinds. But in that infinite desires are also included the desires for the Lord. Thus our acharyas say all the desires are not detrimental to the individual as long as they are tied up with the desire for the Lord. To indicate this, our sampradayic-vedics always keep most part of their hair tied up as a knot, to indicate that all the desires are tied up along with the desires for the Lord. 2. When visiting divya kshetrams like Tirumala, one needs to shed all the desires but the desire for the Lord Venkateswara should not be removed. To indicate this when offering the head gear, all the hair including the mustache (most important one which displays the macho tendency undesirable before the Purushottaman) needs to be removed and a sikha needs to be sported at an ideal place (which is regarded as Brahmarandhram). demonstrating that the desire for the Lord is still intact. Otherwise a clean shaven head (mottai or bowdigundu) indicates that all the desires including the one for the Lord is also removed, which is suicidal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaurasundara Posted October 26, 2003 Report Share Posted October 26, 2003 As far as the pilgrims are concerned, the shaving of hair is intended as a sacrifice to the Lord. One is sacrificing one's pride and vanity (by giving up one's hair) to stand before the Lord without such impediments in the way. Interesting! I figured out this sentiment as that relates to ethics. But I wonder if it is enjoined to do so in any of the local sthala-puranas there? If so, what is the legend behind it, etc.? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 26, 2003 Report Share Posted October 26, 2003 HI..Irrespective of your background you came from to follow this Sanatana Dharma, you need not shave your head. A woman normally shaves her head only if she is going to take vow to become sanyasi, so that she does not look attractive in the eyes of men. This is the reason why widows in those days used to shave their heads. Marriage is an auspicious occassion and the most pious and religiously devoted family girl is not suppose to shave her head and she is suppose to keep her family values intact. This is what is mentioned in puranaas. Dont shave your head in auspicious time of marriage. God certainly does not ask people to disfigure themselves especially when they are in family life. MS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 27, 2003 Report Share Posted October 27, 2003 Don't worry about shaving. Perhaps just give an extra donation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 30, 2003 Report Share Posted October 30, 2003 Interesting! I figured out this sentiment as that relates to ethics. But I wonder if it is enjoined to do so in any of the local sthala-puranas there? If so, what is the legend behind it, etc.? It probably is in the Tirumala sthala-purana, but if there has been any attempt to publish it, I have yet to see it. Many of these practices and their esoteric meanings are passed down from generation to generation. Without specific proof of the validity of the practices, the best attitude might be to try to understand the essence or intent of the practice and see if it is consistent with ideals of bhAgavatas discussed in bhakti-sAstras. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 9, 2003 Report Share Posted November 9, 2003 Hai Vanamali, i spent some years in south india and found that offering of hair to any GOD is one form of submitting the EGO before GOD... Deviating from that aspect, if u think of how u would look after head shave, is somewhat not expected.. and also, as prevalent in world, headshaving is not any type of bribery to get favours from the GOD.... it's purely spiritual... I say just one thing, shave ur head without any hesitation or don't go for it... I think, ur husband will appreciate whatever action u take.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2003 Report Share Posted November 11, 2003 Hi... I think so its upto u & ur Husband.No body will shave their head to look beautiful.If u thought of giving ur hair just goahead its matter of 6 months. Manu Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Govindaram Posted November 11, 2003 Report Share Posted November 11, 2003 i don't see any pics of women with shaved heads from Vedic times..don't do it!! Unless you have really bad urm hair days! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 12, 2003 Report Share Posted November 12, 2003 Hay your husband is has given his verdict and he is also giving his hair whats your problem???? Rupaka Mahalingaiah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 13, 2003 Report Share Posted November 13, 2003 What ur thinking vanamali??? what ever u decide ur husband will appreciate it. thats all.... sreedhar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 21, 2003 Report Share Posted November 21, 2003 hey, i'm a christian so i dont know how it works with hindus, but my advise is dont do it! unless u have some kind of hair problems. i was thinking about doing it cuz i used to straighten my hair almost everyday and now its kinda damaged. and my mom told me that it'll grow back healthier. so i'm still undecided,cuz i dont know how long it'll take to grow back. so, ya... thats my story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 25, 2003 Report Share Posted November 25, 2003 If u think you love u'er husband so much and that Lord Balaji should shower all his blessings...Just do it..Its a matter of 6 months for you to get back all the hair.. I am sure it would be a nice.. Good Luck. HC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 25, 2003 Report Share Posted November 25, 2003 By now, I guess the original poster would have got married and either shaved or not. I dont see any reply from her, but only from others who wants to suggest. This is really funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 6, 2003 Report Share Posted December 6, 2003 I think every women should shave there head once and i am sure they will enjoy it especially at tirupati where the tonsuring will be done in an different manner and also it will be an great idea to be married as an first bald couple. Its not funny whn u take vows to give hair to god and uwont do it that might hurt your guilt so please shave your head and put the pictures over here so that we can also get encouragement for more more women getting brave to shave there head especially to the lord venkateshawara. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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