Haridham Posted October 27, 2003 Report Share Posted October 27, 2003 I dont know if this is due to my situation at this moment in life or not but there are times I feel frustrated with myself. No matter how much I chant or how sincere I am trying to be I dont think I am doing enough. When I chant Krsna's name it seems like it doesnt even come out properly. Instead of saying Hare Krsna, Hare Krsna Krsna Krsna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare it seems to come out Hare ksna Hare Ksna. I dont feel I am chanting properly nor am I serving my Guru and Prabhupad properly. I dont even do Guru Puja, I just chant. I try to concentrate but I dont know how to do so. Ofcourse I havent read any of Prabhupads books in a while either. I follow the four regs, but I dont seem to be developing more faith. How do I develop more faith, I have read some of the posts people have put on here how chanting or reading the gita has made people cry and such. I look at myself and I cant understand that nor do I feel I can reach that much of a level of devotion. I sometimes think people are making this up but I dont know. Maybe thats my envious mind talking. Geez, I dont even know if the wording came out properly in this. I dont know exactly what I feel. I mean I just turned 25 and what do I have to show for it. I am married, dont have a job. Even If I get a job who knows when I will be fired. I dont feel I have served society, krsna, Prabhupad or anyone and I feel like a failure. Anyways, some thoughts and comments would be appriciated. Hare Krsna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Streetstraw Posted October 28, 2003 Report Share Posted October 28, 2003 Well we all get that way sooner or later. Even big, big gurus show signs of total disappointment. Either don't complain or complain to Krishna Himself. The people on this planet can't help you. They are stuck in mud just like you. Even the so-called devotees. Only God can save you. Ultimately we all must die, leave this body behind, today or tomorrow. This planet is hardly worth mentioning considering the larger picture. Corruption on all levels, specially so-called religious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bhaktachris Posted October 28, 2003 Report Share Posted October 28, 2003 Hare Krsna Haridhama, You are lamenting your 25th year of age. I remember my 25th back in '83' it also affected me bad, it bothered me. But i had this feeling that i would be a brahmacari for ever and never go anywhere in life. Now 20 years later i can understand how things are and i see how things change over time. I still have great attachment for my service for guru/krsna and more appreciation for what Prabhupada gave us. My body has suffered pain and pleasure and now is more broken down. I have not yet grasped the urgency of taking to Krsna consciousness. The Hare Krsna mantra is still my only shelter for the ups and downs. Happy Birthday! /images/graemlins/laugh.gif Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trupti Posted October 28, 2003 Report Share Posted October 28, 2003 ....yeah, im in the same boat.... i'll be 25 in jan. and im sorry to say, i have no job no money im not even married, im not even close to getting married..i dont even have a boyfirend or even someone who is interested.my mom's like when i was your age i already had your older sister. i m like well......what can i do ...i read the posts of all the people on here and im like ..damn...i dont even have half the knowledge of what some of the people here do. i feel useless and unaccomplished. sure i went to school got a EE degree but what good has that done me???? NONE...now i have been out of school for ~2 years and now i have to go back....i am utterly fustrated and my back hertz and my arthrits hertz more now cause of the winter...dude..im a complete waste of space..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haridham Posted October 28, 2003 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2003 Thank you for your reply. I guess as long as we keep endevouring krsna will help things work out at the end. I just have to remember that this is the material world and the more we want to gratify our senses the harder and more intense the world gets. I have to remember krsna at every moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haridham Posted October 28, 2003 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2003 Hare Krsna Trupti ji. That is such a nice name. Kem Cho? Majama cho? lol. Well nice to hear from you. You know a lot of people are facing daily pressure from every corner. I think you will do well. Yes you dont have a job but you seem very intelligent so keep endevouring and you will find something. As for marriage, just wait until Krsna finds you the right person, nothing you should would worry about, wether its a husband or boyfriend. Just hope that whoever you are going to be with is a devotee of krsna. Your mom's Karma and your karma are different. Kali Yuga has advanced and your life is much more difficult then your mothers. You have a degree(EE, what is that?) I dont even have a degree, I am just working on my GED and my grade 12. ITs always good to do school. Top it all off I am married(arranged by my parents and now they want me to get a divorce which I wont.)and me and my wife are in a difficult position. SHe is in Madagascar and I am trying to get her over here. I know ultimatly krsna is the controller so we must depend on him. You are not a waste of space. Keep endevouring to serve Sri Krsna. Hare Krsna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 28, 2003 Report Share Posted October 28, 2003 EE is Electrical Engineering. Trupti, what did you specialize in? I just finished in May and concentrated on microelectronic packaging. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haridham Posted October 28, 2003 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2003 Hare Krsna Trupti ji and guest ji. You two are quite an intelligent pair. Was the course hard? How many years did it take? I dont even know what I want to do with my life. Krsna will give me the right intelligence to do something, I just have to keep endevouring. Hare Krsna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 28, 2003 Report Share Posted October 28, 2003 Yes, it's pretty difficult. It's a four year university degree and with any engineering discipline, whether it be mechanical, chemical, civil, you have to have a good background in mathematics and science. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trupti Posted October 29, 2003 Report Share Posted October 29, 2003 i specialized in telecommunications, but what i really want to do is make robots......i know it may sound geeky...yeha that is what im going to start doing. im going to buy one of those kits and then move my way up. in my school they do not have any classes that teach anything about robots so, i have to do alot of research. and, next spring im going to start my masters in EE or might get a BS degree in programming. i want to get a strong background in programming so when i make my robot, i can then program the microprocessor. but still, im in the beginning stages. but im excited. guest, have you found a job yet? i always ask everyone if they have found a job yet... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trupti Posted October 29, 2003 Report Share Posted October 29, 2003 dear haridham, thank you for your good wishes. i appreiciate it. yes, school is very important. i am a firm believer in that. i know it is propbably hard for you to go to school with your problems, but remember that school will make your future better. if there is any kind of help you may need specially in math or science, just let me know...i know that stuff fairly well. anyways, best regards and have a nice day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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