Haridham Posted November 4, 2003 Report Share Posted November 4, 2003 Hare Krsna everyone. Please accept my humble obesensies. I have a question regarding the statement of "a guest is as good as god" Now a lot of indian people say this but is this confirmed in Vedic culture or literature? I hope you guys understnad my question. I mean I ask this because sometimes people who come to my house are anything but godlike. I mean just today someone came into my house and it was someone who started the rumor about my wife and I didnt greet him so he said "I am a guest and in our culture guest is god" Ofcourse I just said "if you can prove it to me then I will accept it. So can the vedas confirm or deny this? Does anyone know? will there be a lot of replies? Will people stop coming to my house? Hare Krsna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bhakti_lata Posted November 4, 2003 Report Share Posted November 4, 2003 i dont know where in the scripture it says but it does say somewhere "atithi devo bhavah" atithi = guest dev = god bhavah = becomes (is) guest is god. come to think of it, i wonder why? and in the old indian tradition (even today in many cultured homes) guests are always treated with respect. bhakti~lata Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haridham Posted November 4, 2003 Author Report Share Posted November 4, 2003 Now isnt dev reffering to demigod and not the supreme? I am curious I could be wrong ofcourse but thats why I post this question. So now I must respect the idiot as God even though he is dishonoring my wife? Amy suggestions, more clarifications would be nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 4, 2003 Report Share Posted November 4, 2003 sometimes respect means : a big kick in the ass (to be given to who make offences to you and your family) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Govindaram Posted November 4, 2003 Report Share Posted November 4, 2003 Hare krishna Listening to a lecture just yesterday of a bhakta, he said if krishna desides to come as a guest to your house (any disguise), then he shall come only ONCE!, so..i would say if you miss your chance then its your stupid fault. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 4, 2003 Report Share Posted November 4, 2003 Why only once? what if you really please him with your hospitality and wants to come more often? Or what if you don't recognize him, but he wants you to recognize him thus making him want to come to your house as a guest more often? Hare krishna, there is a difference between bhakthi and superstition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Govindaram Posted November 4, 2003 Report Share Posted November 4, 2003 to welcome guests cause you never know when krishna might come to see u. haribol! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 4, 2003 Report Share Posted November 4, 2003 A person who talks sick about us is not certainly God, but at the same time if one comes to our house, we should not show hard fact to them if we know them for a while. A good way to make the person feel guilty is by treating the person well without even questioning anything about why did he speak nonsense about you. I am not saying that you should not question at all. but when he is visitiing you only. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gHari Posted November 4, 2003 Report Share Posted November 4, 2003 Please tell me it is not true that you have started rude rumours about my wife. If it is true, however, then I must accept you as dog not God. And I do not speak to dogs, no matter how much their slobbering tongues bark. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 4, 2003 Report Share Posted November 4, 2003 DOgs are faithfull animals and I dont like them to be pulled in in comparison to a bad guest. A bad guest can be compared to some raakshas but not dogs. Dogs deserve better treatment than a bad guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mahak Posted November 4, 2003 Report Share Posted November 4, 2003 Depends on the dog. Their song (barks) arte the worst of animal sounds, Id rather hear pigs. I had a good dog, moses, and he was different, but it was in his bark as well. Dogs are brought in these types of conversation because their sound has no value, not a discrimination against someone with an unfortunate birth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Priitaa Posted November 4, 2003 Report Share Posted November 4, 2003 I have had this problem too, where devotees (with their set of problems) would come to my house, but these same devotees had caused me *great* difficulty. They never apologized for it, even I suspected they would do it again if a similar set of circumstances presented themselves. Generally, they did not feel bad, yet they were exploiting one or more of my family members. But I am suppose to not only let them in, but offer them a sitting place and even some juice or water! And I have done like that for decades, but the past few years I have not. I don't know if there is any Vedic injunction about this method of self protection (as often, when they come to my house, they have something up their sleeve - tho it may manifest quickly or later on, yet it manifests). Vedically, even an enemy should be offered a seat and given water, but I suspect in Vedic times of past yugas, even an enemy did not exploit you or your family in your own home either, and probably had better manners than most do these days. I felt I was letting maya nonsense in my door and so have often stopped letting such trouble makers in. But I still feel some guilt, as I have not found anything Vedic to support this, tho I do have the above mentioned philosophy to fall back on. If they throw myself or a family member into maya, they are bad association, therefore I feel justified when I dont let them through the door. But am not suggesting this for everyone. Acutally, I was wondering if anyone knew of something Vedic to support this point of view, that when one is 'disguised' as a friend (or is a fair weather friend), but is really an enemy, comes to your home, is there no Vedic instruction that such 'devotee's do not have to be allowed in? And often, once they get their foot in the door, they disempoewr you, can even take over and I HAVE had that happen, so I am wondering how others deal with such persons, and what philosophies they take shelter of. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 4, 2003 Report Share Posted November 4, 2003 I guess we should not compare the present day age with vedic period, since in present day nobody follows any dharma, while in vedic period they had some dharma out of which they suggested that enemies should be treated well if they come to ourhome. It seems during those times at the end of the day when war was going on, both the camps used to sit and eat together. ( I dont have quote but read it and also heard it in katha kalatshepam) Can we imagine like that now. So its ok if we dont treat our enemy guest properly as this is kali yuga going to hell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theist Posted November 4, 2003 Report Share Posted November 4, 2003 I am a hermit so I don't have this problem. But one solution would be to speak only about Krsna with them. They will then leave or become your true friend. Feed them some Krsna prasadam. Guest may not be really God but God is surely there within that guest. Trying to carry things to extremes though does not make sense and is not the point. Someone who is an aparadhi should be shown the door and if he comes back with no opening apology don't let him in. Then there are home invaders. Should they be treated as God because its Vedic? I would shoot them. Of course if all else fails then one can follow the example set by Gaura Kishore. That should thin out the crowds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Priitaa Posted November 5, 2003 Report Share Posted November 5, 2003 Thiest, That is exactly the philosophy that had me letting them in the door. ha Well, being a hermit does make a difference. You can be in control. I live with others (family), those others have power. And raising two teenagers in the midst of devotee society turned out to be more unsuportive then supportive. I had anything from lesser but disturbing things happen, to bigger and very disturbing ones, because they would try to harness the power of my teens. For example, one temple devotee reputed as very strict, took my (at that time) 12 year out to buy something, which I thought "how nice!" When they return, I find out she put my 12 year old behind the drivers wheel in the parking lot!! "I" should be the one to decide when my kid drives, and who teaches, and how soon they should be allowed that much independence, but this devotee took that choice right out of my hands.) Or when my kids got a little older, about 14 years old, I found out a 'devotee' asked them for drugs! When they found out they did not take drugs (gee, thanks for making it sound exicting to them!), they next asked who to score it from! And then there were others I would not let in my house but somhow, because they were a devotee, got their foot in the door. Sure, you can talk only Krishna katha. And they will listen because they ARE deovtees. And when they leave, they will sneakily ask you kid if they want to go out drinking until 2 a.m. (This last one did 'not' happen, but it gives you the idea of the ways such 'devotees' are capable of disempowering their host.) So being nice is something they have become very expert taking advantage of. They know how. Its why I dont even give them the chance. I guess I am concerned with how this all plays out in the long run, but I can't take chances anymore. Some have learned how to come over to your house in a friendly mood, then ask you for the shrit off your back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Priitaa Posted November 5, 2003 Report Share Posted November 5, 2003 Actually, in Krishna consciousness we do not preach a guest is as good as God. We do preach all Vaisnava's should be respected in the home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theist Posted November 5, 2003 Report Share Posted November 5, 2003 Pritha, Not having kids I can't really grasp the difficulty. It must be hard enough to try and protect them from this sick, seducing culture. Then for other devotees to try and undermine your efforts... What can be said, wolves as sheep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Priitaa Posted November 5, 2003 Report Share Posted November 5, 2003 Sheep in wolves clothing, thats a good point. Unfortunately, its not limited to teenagers. (Though they do seem to take more advantage of them!) I have had some try to take advantage of me too. Not THAT way, ha, But, for example, a few weeks or so after I had my child, a so-called friend of my husbands came over. That's fine. I cooked, fed him and us, was social, polite, proper, etc. Since I had recently given birth, I often needed to rest, but we lived in a very tiny place so I could not lie down in front of him. But what did he do? After eating he was so stuffed, he rolled over to take a nap! I had to sit there with my aching back. He also tried to (jokingly) steal a picture of Lord Jagannatha that he 'happened' to be in (I had not realized this). However, my friend (8 months pregnant) nearly got knocked over trying to take that snapshot. She so kindly sent me a copy, which he felt justified in taking out of my photo's since he was in it, whereas he could have just asked how t get a copy. As he stuffed it in his pocket, that was the straw which broke the camels back. I was ticked! I just left the house and went for a long walk, which is something I would not normally do, so it sent the message. Things got straightened out, but I don't get it why devotees have to take advantage of those who are kind to them. It seems the nicer you are, the more attracted to you are those who are expert of taking advantage of niceness. Actually, I am turning into a bit of a hermit myself. It seems better for my spiriutal life really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haridham Posted November 5, 2003 Author Report Share Posted November 5, 2003 Hare Krsna everyone. Thanks a lot for all of your replies. After reading them I realised that its best to control my ego and show respect anyway. However is it wrong if a guest comes to your house and dishonors your wife or has done in the past to kick in straight in the mouth? I mean what if he just comes to annoy me? Or if like someone mentioned earlier there is a home invasion and such? Hope to hear from you again Hare Krsna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Priitaa Posted November 5, 2003 Report Share Posted November 5, 2003 Haridham, IMHO, and only based on what I have read of your posts, I would think it would be disrespectful to your wife to let him in, and to yourself. But not that you have to kick him, lol. Matter of fact, you should present such incredible Vaisnava manners (yet reamin strong with disallowing him entrance), that he will not be able to really blame you, or at least can't find fault with you. Since you are the only one living there and dont have to dodge a bullet with someone else saying something contrary at the door, you have an excellent opportunity to do the right thing. After all, you know he would not allow you to say bad things about his wife! But you must be better than him and not become angered, while you simultaneously don't give in either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haridham Posted November 5, 2003 Author Report Share Posted November 5, 2003 wow Priita ji you have become my internet siksa guru. The thing is the guy comes to the temple all the time and just gives me the evil eye. Every moment he gets a chance he would stare at me and then ofcourse pay respects to Lord Shiva, Ganesh and Parvati dieties(he is not one of our hare krsna's he just crazy) and then when he is done he would continue to stare at me. This started a while back for no reason. I mean he has a wife too and a child, whats so hot about me? well if you had a look at his wife then you would understand why he keeps looking at me. I mean compare to his wife I am Cindy Crawford or in Hindi movie terms Ashwarya Rai!! Lol. There are times I wanna knock his head in. I think he is already suffered enough though. WHen I move out of my house and when my wife comes there is no where he is talking to her. I am keepin her away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Priitaa Posted November 5, 2003 Report Share Posted November 5, 2003 I am nobody's siksa guru. Read Prabhupada's books and you will know everything I know, and others know, just as well. :-) The evil eye is annoying, but powerless. Tho what temple do you attend that has all these demigods you see him bow down to? Sounds like you just need to get out of this persons associaiton. Do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haridham Posted November 5, 2003 Author Report Share Posted November 5, 2003 Your humbleness is captivating enough to be my siksa guru. I am fortunate you and devotees like you are here to help me through this. You guys have helped me from day one. Well Evil eye is powerless but it gives me the strength to feel like punching him in the face. At our Hare Krsna(Radha Madan Mohan temple) in Vancouver the Main deities are Radha Madan Mohan but at the side of the temple is Shiva, Parvati and Ganesh ji. Opposite from that is a corner where Ram, Sita Laxman Hanuman. I think its to appease the Indian congregation I dont associate with him, he just happens to find me from somewhere in the temple. I hate it when he pretends to be nice to me. Someone mentioned earlier that if He(guest) comes only once then he could be krsna. Well this guy comes late at night and even just opens the door and comes in without ringing the door bell or anything. If he is god then he is one hell of an annoying god. What does IMHO mean anyway? Hare Krsna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gHari Posted November 5, 2003 Report Share Posted November 5, 2003 By treating him well. He does not exist. Treating him well tells him that he is right and he can continue. Turning your back on the dog as you did, helps him generate the shame and humility he needs to experience. You are not his dog. He is dog and make sure he bloody well knows it. He has insulted Krsna's devotee and your wife who will be an even greater devotee of Sri Krsna. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haridham Posted November 5, 2003 Author Report Share Posted November 5, 2003 thank you for defending me. I know I have to defend my wife's honor and there is no way he will get away with it again. Enough is enough, its time for a change. Ofcourse he isnt the only one doing this but i know he is one of the main ones. I think from now on I can play his game too, I think when I catch him giving me the evil eye I will just shake my head and smirk as if to say I feel sorry for you or something. Funny thing is that he is friends with my parents which explains why they are like that. A person is known by the company he keeps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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