stupid questions....smart answers

[Guest guest]

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.

BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.

BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!

GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!

GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the

other.

HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out

of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,

Peter?

PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"

Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"

Pupil : "The moon".

Teacher : "Why?"

Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun

gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people

are no longer interested?"

Pupil : "A teacher".

Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"

Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called

current affairs.

Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"

Sam : "It's a family tradition".

Teacher : "What do you mean?"

Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".

Teacher : "What about your mother?"

Sam : "She's a woman".

Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"

David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's

performance repeated".

Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped

him, what virtue would I be showing?"

Student : "Brotherly love".

Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"

Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".

Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"

Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten

people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've

treated. The others all died".

Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"

One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and

at the same time."

Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry

tree, but also admitted doing it.

Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"

One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

BOY : May I hold your hand?

GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!

BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??

BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??