Help me

[Guest guest]

I'm crying my eyes out as I write this. I don't know maybe I'm the one in the wrong. My mum said that reading the Bhagwad Gita has made me crazy and she said not to get deep into it and that I should lead a normal mundane life. She said alot of other things which I don't want to mention. She said that if I don't do as she said I'm a sinner but isn't going against God's teachings a sin too, if not a bigger sin. I don't know what to think anymore maybe I should just become the average girl and do what other teenage girls do. I hate this. I feel suicidal. I feel like they're trying to pull me away from Krishna and into sin. I'm leaving it as this. I probably am crazy and a stupid pretender. Maybe she's right.

[Guest guest]

Dear friend,

 

Just be calm. Take a deep breath, and relax. Be peaceful.

 

This is the first thing you need to do. Relax.

 

Now, read this:

 

vilambasahanasya bhaktasya tad raksana-visrabdhatvam -

ya draupadi paritrane, ya gajendrasya moksane

mayy arte karuna-murte, sa tvara kva gate hare

 

The devotee who needs immediate protection has full faith that the Lord will come to his aid -

"O compassion incarnate, now I am in danger. O Lord Hari, where is that urgency You showed in delivering Draupadi and liberating Gajendra?"

verse by Srila Jagannatha das babaji

 

ys,

Murali

[Haridham]

Hare Krsna, please do not cry. Krsna is taking care of you. The bagavat gita is not making you crazy rather it is making you sane, it is the rest of the world that is making you crazy.

 

I know what you are going through. My parents dont help me in my spiritual endevours either but you must stay focused and stay firm.

 

You must realise that Krsna is the ultimate father and mother. Yes in the sastra it is said that one must listen to their parents but only if the parents are going along with sastra. Your mother is stopping you from progressing in your spiritual life so if you listen to her that is the sin, reading the gita isnt.

 

Tell her that Prahalad Maharaj didnt listen to his father Sukadev goswami left his mother as soon as he came out of the womb. You should use everything for krsna's service however. Best of all you should chant the Hare Krsna Mahamatra.

 

In the Srimad Bagavatam it is stated that one should not become a father, MOTHER, husband, WIFE, guru, or worshipable demigod unless he or she can liberate his or dependants.

 

Now your mother says if you dont listen to her it a sin....well she is wrong. She first must know what is the duty of a mother and father is. I think you should practice krsna consciouss secretly.

 

Do not worry about a thing. There are plenty of devotees here who will send you nice and encouraging words from the sastras to prove that you are right so you can tell your mother when she says not to do this or that that krsna says other wise.

 

Just remember the story of Prahalad Maharaj.

 

Chant Hare Krsna, you will be ok. I know what you are going through.

 

Rakhe Krsna Mare Khe, Mare Krsna rakhe ke. If krsna wants to protect you, nothing can harm you, if krsna wants to kill you nothing can protect you.

 

Chant Hare Krsna

[Tarun]

das Madchen means virgin in Deutsch = German.

ZrIla ZrIdhardev GosvAmI stated:

Best (first class) position within this material world is to b a just king externally while simultaneously maintaining a small female child's sentiment internally."

He was referring to whom? Can u guess?

Yes, it's very hard to balance matter & spirit as SrIzopaniSAd suggests we do.

Many famous pure bhaktas could NOT (or at least DID NOT) do it in one or another of their incarnations.

ZrIman MahAprabhu put SivAnanda Sen in charge of whose accounts/laxmi?

[Guest guest]

it is possible that your mother is not right but please consider also if you are objectively becoming strange, rebel or fanatic...

 

the symptom of an advanced devotee is that he's dear to everyone (dira adhira janat pryau), so please do a good examination of your behaviour using the common sense

 

you say "I don't know what to think anymore maybe I should just become the average girl and do what other teenage girls do"..... of course you have to became an average teenage girl, an average girl who does not make gross sins (like eating meat or intossicate) and chants hare krishna on regular basis

 

krishna does not ask to you anything more that this, just chant hare krishna and be happy, if you are more austere than your age requires, unless you are prahlad maharaja, you risk to fall victim of repression and to pay it several years after, regretting to have spent your "best years" in krishna consciousness..

 

.. but repression is not krsna consciousness..

 

so try the way to make your life as what you call an "average" girl.. do not eat meat.. be as moral as you can, chant a fixed number of japa rounds everyday and make friends with more devotee as possible, especially the ones close to you in age and advancement.. and try to be in peace with your mother, she's one of your spiritual masters not one of the "karmis"

 

remember.. japa is the most important thing

[Haridham]

.... and try to be in peace with your mother, she's one of your spiritual masters not one of the "karmis"

 

Well if her mother is one of her spiritual masters then her duty is to show her krsna. That is the duty of the Guru. Just because someone gave birth to you doesnt mean they are qualified to be a parent or a guru.

 

She is taking her away from krsna so I dont see any guru like qualities.

 

Although in one sense her objection makes you hanker for krsna even more so she is doing something good.

 

Yes the best advice is to chant Hare Krsna.

 

Nothing Higher then the mahamatra.

 

[Guest guest]

your message comes from thinking that the mother is completely wrong, but maybe it is not so

 

we do not know how mataji is approaching krsna consciousness... , if her mother have checked some fanaticism or strangeness in her behaviour, she is acting like a master giving the good advice to be a "normal" girl

 

so.. being all other given advices very good, i am only suggesting that she, keeping the hare krishna chanting , maybe has also to check her behaviour to make her mother less concerned

 

and if peace comes between her and the mother keeping hare krishna it is a great spiritual advancement with other great fruits in the future

 

a vaishnava is able to hear the teaching of krsna from everyone

 

haridham prabhu.. please be more subtle and consider all the message :-)

 

[Haridham]

thank you for the advice. I should be more subtle. I think I am quite passionate if you will about this subject its because of my situation thats all.

 

Although I do wish to say that you are right. We dont know what her mother's intention is but she should not stop her from progressing towards krsna. Sure it shoudnt be in a fanatical way and her behavior should be addressed but if her mother has "other plans" for her as most indian peoeple do because of the modes of maya then she could suffer.

 

Just chant hare krsna and associate with devotees near your temple. Seek advice from Krsna and Prabhupad.

 

Hare Krsna

[Guest guest]

Thank you for your advice everyone, I don't know what came over me last night, I shouldn't have become so upset.

I think I should clear some things up though. During the incident with my mum, I never disrespected her in any way in fact I was desperately trying to make her understand that I'm trying to live according to how Krishna wants us to and that if one wants to be serious then it will affect every part of one's life. She unfortunately doesn't get it since she's blinded by maya.

Also when I meant average teenager, I meant to not be interested in religion and to have interest in other things that we all know.

Also my mum said that she's "compromised" with me so far by turning vegetarian and non-drinkers when I suggested it. That made me unhappy that she only did it cos I said it and not because the Lord says so.

 

By the way you say fanatical, isn't it possible that we may appear crazy or fanatical about God from the point of view of Sansaric people though for us our relationship with God is real anyway. In this world we are so attached to family, friends, lovers, even celebrities so we are ridiculed when we are attached to God and idolise Him when really our relationship with him is eternal and all other relationship are temporary. I'm not saying that I'm devaluing the other realtionships but the one with God is very important.

Also a last point, I understand that this human life is solely for spiritual advancement and not sense enjoyment so through developing spiritually, all desires for sense enjoyment cease. If I feel like this then is that good or does it mean I'm becoming crazy. Well I do know I'm not crazy but it's not right to only become spiritual to a point just so you appear "normal". I don't know if I've explained myself well. Anyway thanks again for the reassurance, I feel better now.

[Guest guest]

your explaination is very clear.... and in theory very good and right... but, for my experience you simply seem an intelligent young girl starting practicing krsna consciousness not an old and experienced ascetic from himalaya ..

 

be yourself

 

do not think at others as "blinded by maya" and at yourself as "lightened by krsna" because it is.... maya

 

try to have a good relationship with your mother and show how krsna consciousness is good to improve your behaviour not good to split families... this will be your most important preaching and if you show a good example (achara), soon also your mother will start to chant harekrishna ..

 

offer any "legal" food you have in the house to krishna, prasadam will surely do his job also with your parents, relatives, friends etc.

 

 

[Priitaa]

I just wanted to say, don't let your mom get to you. Its true that I dont know her point of view from her, but I have often heard how good Hindu's become angry when children take Krishna conscioiusnes seriously. In any case, its best not to irriate her, as sometimes in our effort to gain approval, we are really upsetting someone by keeping at the same topic over and over. You can still get along with her and just do your saddhna in private. She may be scared due to seeing you taking it into every area of life, tho you are correct in this. If we want to get out of the mateiral world, how do we think that can be achieved if we are not finding some way to meditate on Krishna's Holy Name in one way or another? Yet, there is no reason to unnecessarily agitate her mind. If you can do these things in a way that would keep the peace, thats a good idea. BUT don't give them up. Simply, chant Hare Krishna and be happy. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[gHari]

Dear One,

 

Only you can answer the question. Does my mother know what she's talking about? Certainly it is difficult for older people to admit that they've wasted their lives following the empty lives of their parents.

 

You must realize that very few can choose this path; we are so conditioned to our bodily concept. In the Bhagavad-gita Krishna acknowledges this: "Out of many thousands among people, one may endeavor for perfection, and of those who have achieved perfection, hardly one knows Me in truth" [bG 7.3].

 

Although you love her dearly, it is best not to discuss the soul and ideas of God realization with your mother. One day she may ask sincerely and you can answer; but for now she has her attachments to satisfy, and if desires are not satisifed we become angry, just like Krsna explains in BG 2.62. This is your unique life. Don't expect many to understand the truth; we are all just too attached to enjoying the world from this temporary body instead of seeing it from the correct vantage point of the eternal soul.

 

But never give up. You have awoken, and the dry life can never again hold real meaning for you. The heart is always right. Lord Caitanya teaches us how to love God, and in her heart your mother knows this is the goal of life, just as you do, just as everyone does.

 

Do not fear. Your love will be contagious even without words. As you perfect your love of God, later you can share with her, person to person, not as slave and master.

 

gHari

[Guest guest]

I don't say my mum is "blinded by maya" in a derogatory sense. It's a fact because she believes that this life is primarily for sense enjoyment and then if you've got time or you want to show off pray to God.

And I don't think that I'm "lightened by Krishna" because that would be arrogant to think like that and arrogance is not one of the attributes a devotee should possess. I'm constantly trying to improve myself everyday and review my actions to keep myself in check. I admit I handled the situation terribly by feeling suicidal etc but Krishna is such an emotive subject yet that's still no excuse. It's purely superficial to her. Anyway I don't wish to change her. I know that you can't change people. But she said "I'm your mother and you HAVE to do as I say and if you don't I'll disown you". See she won't let me live my life according to God instead she thinks it's because I want to be "independent"(in the western concept) and I'm rebelling which is totally untrue.

I don't hate my mum at all and I don't want to split the family but if she tells me to choose between her and God then you now what my answer's gonna be.

gHari and priitaa, I think i'll take your advice, I won't talk to my mum about this anymore in order to keep the peace. It's obvious she doesn't understand what I'm talking about(I'm not insulting her by saying that btw). It's like you shouldn't talk too much of this to conditioned souls, right?

[bhakti_lata]

Dear devotee of Krishna

 

I think one of the things as devotees we have to get used to is oftentimes walking on the path alone by ourselves.

 

When i took to bhakti-yoga under the guidance of my spiritual master, i experienced that many of my friends moved away from me (without me saying anything to them and them saying anything to me) and just disappeared eventhough i had made no attempt whatsoever to preach to them. My spiritual master always says when we take to krishna consciousness, people around us either ship out or shape up to krishna consciousness.

 

So, if you notice people opposing you, just know that this is one of the 2 reactions you can expect throughout. As you advance, you will be less affected by these reactions. When we become upset by people's reactions to our ways, our reaction is often indicative of our own conviction and faith. The deeper our convictions and faith, less we tend be affected by such reactions. Therefore when your faith is still maturing and until it matures enough, it is best to guard your faith with zeal and not display it to a non-devotee. Also try and take as much as possible association of devotees and books to draw strength from. For you will need it even more to offset for the non-devotional environment around you.

 

Also do pray to Krishna for your mother that some day she may be shown the light of knowledge. Krishna loves His devotees and may well answer your prayers.

 

With love and best wishes

bhakti~lata

 

[Govindaram]

Krishna devotee:

but Krishna is such an emotive subject yet

 

You can say that again.

 

Only through Bhakti can He be known.

[Guest guest]

ok.. i do not want to go in circle, the good result is that you have accepted by the suggestion of other devotees to be more soft and private with your devotion to krsna..

 

so offer and respect prasadam, chant hare krishna as much that you can.. maybe we will be more close in our ideas when you will be older

[Guest guest]

Sorry to carry this on but I know what you mean by people opposing you. I can deal with that but how do I deal with my own mother ordering me to do something. I don't want to distance myself from my mum. I want to help her and I pray everyday for her and myself of course since we are all imperfect. I've lost friends as well but that doesn't bother me but my mum's more important than that.

Also I think some of you assume I am not private about Krishna Consciousness. I am, only my mum and sisters know about it. I don't wish to tell anyone else.

Yeah well I didn't want to say all this but I needed to clear that up.