controlling anger

[Guest guest]

i wanted to know if there is something i can do to keep myself from becoming overwhelmingly angry. i have a very bad temper and i want to be able to control it so my entire day is not concentrated primarily on how angry i am.

[Govindaram]

 

Can you say? for general..

 

 

[Guest guest]

yikes... iknow, the slightest thing can set me off..its hard to say.

my current job has me working on a daily basis with the public. People are so hateful and that has been a very bad effect on me. Furthermore, when i was in school, i also had the same problem. my peers often say " dont set her off or else you may regret it"

 

[theist]

Often when anger shows itself and we get mad at someone it can be found that we are not really all that angry at that person but really someone in the past or a whole constellation of things that have built up.

 

This can most often be traced back to childhood or some lingering impression from a past life. It is tricky to find out the real source beyond the immediate drama that first appears to be the source.

 

An example is: say a bank teller is perceived to be a little rude and I blow up in her face. That's the drama but she wasn't the cause. The cause lies much deeper. She was actually a victim.

 

It is like a nasty virus as it spreads. That bank teller may have to swallow it now but it and other experiences like it build in her also and she may later blow up at her professor in class. And on and on.

 

Chanting will eventually clear all this stuff up for us, but there is no reason one can't chant and also consult with a professional. I would avoid the typical pyscho-analysts and seek out an experienced pyschologist who practices past life hypnotherapy. Beware of the flakes and self promoters.

 

Seek help from our Inner Guide, the Lord Hari who can take this burden off of you.

 

It is good you are recognizing this and dealing with it.

 

Good luck

 

Hare Krsna

 

[gHari]

When desires are not satisfied we become angry.

 

Lord Krishna explains how the senses betray us:<blockquote>While contemplating the objects of the senses, a person develops attachment for them, and from such attachment lust develops, and from lust anger arises. [bG 2.62]

 

From anger, complete delusion arises, and from delusion bewilderment of memory. When memory is bewildered, intelligence is lost, and when intelligence is lost one falls down again into the material pool. [bG 2.63]

 

But a person free from all attachment and aversion and able to control his senses through regulative principles of freedom can obtain the complete mercy of the Lord. [bG 2.64]

 

For one thus satisfied [in KRSNa consciousness], the threefold miseries of material existence exist no longer; in such satisfied consciousness, one's intelligence is soon well established. [bG 2.65]

 

One who is not connected with the Supreme [in KRSNa consciousness] can have neither transcendental intelligence nor a steady mind, without which there is no possibility of peace. And how can there be any happiness without peace? [bG 2.66]

 

A person who has given up all desires for sense gratification, who lives free from desires, who has given up all sense of proprietorship and is devoid of false ego--he alone can attain real peace. [bG 2.71]

 

That is the way of the spiritual and godly life, after attaining which a man is not bewildered. If one is thus situated even at the hour of death, one can enter into the kingdom of God. [bG 2.72]</blockquote>

However, Krishna offers a solution:<blockquote>One who is able to withdraw his senses from sense objects, as the tortoise draws its limbs within the shell, is firmly fixed in perfect consciousness. [bG 2.58]</blockquote>

 

There is an ocean of pleasure and satisfaction to be gained in the soul, our true eternal natures. Once in that ocean, material gains and losses are simply meaningless, like adding or subtracting a drop of water in the ocean. I now have a BMW: add a drop to the ocean. The airlines lost my luggage: take a drop of water out of the ocean. Happiness is easy when we are established in our eternal blissful nature; anger is impossible, since our only attachment is to God.

 

We should humbly follow the advice of Lord Krsna in the Bhagavad-gita and gradually walk into that ocean of contentment leaving the frustration and tribulations of this worldly drama behind forever. That is the best cure for anger and distress, which as you will find, are both illusions brought on by the delirium of believing that we are simply this temporary bag of bones, blood and bile.

 

Guest, Krsna appreciates your honesty today in recognizing your enemy, anger. Coming humbly to this vaishnava forum as you have done has shown respect to Krsna, and for that you have cleared your path to Him. It is only a matter now of following the advice of the Gita. Your life will become successful.

 

gHari

[bhakti_lata]

.....to the Guest for the enquiry and gHari Prabhu for the scriptural explanation. I especially liked "the drop in and out of the ocean" concept. I am going to use this concept to control my mind each time it loses its balance at the ever changing material events.

 

All Glories to Srila Prabhupada!

 

GovindA! Hari bol!

 

bhakti~lata