Sri Sita Ram Goel ,author of "How I became a Hindu" Passes Away

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Sri Sita Ram Goel Passes Away

HPI

 

DELHI, INDIA, December 3, 2003:

 

Sri Sita Ram Goel, one of the foremost

Hindu renaissance writers and thinkers of his generation, passed away

in his sleep today following a long illness. Working with Sri Ram

Swarup to form the "Voice of India," the two produced hundreds of

books, article and pamphlets advancing the Hindu renaissance over half

a century. .

 

One of his best known books was "How I became a Hindu."

 

This lengthy

excerpt will give a glimpse into this marvelous mind:

 

"I was born a Hindu. But I had ceased to be one by the time I came out

of college at the age of twenty-two. I had become a Marxist and a

militant atheist. I had come to believe that Hindu scriptures should be

burnt in a bonfire if India was to be saved. It was fifteen years later

that I could see this culmination as the explosion of an inflated ego.

During those years of self-poisoning, I was sincerely convinced that I

was engaged in a philosophical exploration of cosmic proportions. How

my ego got inflated to a point where I could see nothing beyond my own

morbid mental constructions is no exceptional story. It happens to many

of us mortals. What is relevant in my story is the seeking and the

suffering and the struggle to break out of that spider's web of my own

weaving.

 

"In my family, our women did keep some fasts, performed some rituals

and visited the temple and the Sivalinga, but the menfolk were mostly

convinced about the futility of image worship and did not normally

participate in any rituals. The brahmin priest was not seen in our

homes, except on occasions like marriage and death. I remember vividly

how lofty a view I took of my own nirguna doctrines and how I looked

down upon my classmates from Sanatanist families whose ways I thought

effeminate. I particularly disliked their going to the annual mela

(festival) of a Devi in a neighboring town. God for me was a male

person. Devi worship was a defilement of the true faith.

 

"But as my moral and intellectual life was preparing to settle down in

a universe of firm faith provided by Mahatma Gandhi, my emotional life

was heading towards an upheaval. I started doubting if there was a

moral order in the universe at large and in the human society in which

I lived. The sages, saints and thinkers whom I had honored so far were

sure that the world was made and governed by a God who was Satyam

(Truth), Sivam (Good), Sundaram (Beauty). But all around me I saw much

that was untrue, unwholesome and ugly. God and His creation could not

be reconciled.

 

"This problem of evil arose and gripped my mind, partly because of my

personal situation in life. In spite of my pose of humility, learned

from Mahatma Gandhi, I was harboring a sense of great self-esteem. I

was a good student who had won distinctions and scholarships at every

stage. I had read a lot of books, which made me feel learned and wise.

I was trying to lead a life of moral endeavor, which I thought made me

better than most of my fellow men. Standing at the confluence of these

several streams of self-esteem, I came to believe that I was somebody

in particular and that the society in which I lived owed me some

special and privileged treatment.

 

"Now I was in a desperate hurry to get a good knowledge of the doctrine

of socialism. A desire to read Karl Marx now became irresistible.

First, I read the Communist Manifesto. It was simply breathtaking in

the breadth and depth of its sweep over vast vistas of human history.

It was also a great call to action, to change the world and end

exploitation and social injustice for all time to come.

 

"At the same time I concluded that God as a creator of this world could

be conceived only in three ways -- either as a rogue who sanctioned and

shared in the roguery prevalent in his world, or as an imbecile who

could no more control what he had created, or as a sannyasin, who no

more cared for what was happening to his creatures. If God was a rogue,

we had to rise in revolt against his rule. If he was an imbecile, we

could forget him and take charge of the world ourselves. And if he was

a sannyasin, he could mind his business while we minded our own. The

scriptures, however, held out a different version of God and his role,

one that was supported neither by experience nor by logic. The

scriptures should, therefore, be burned in a bonfire, preferably during

winter when they could provide some warmth."

 

"One day I meditated on ahimsa, which had remained an abstract concept

for me so far. After a while I found myself begging forgiveness from

all those whom I had hurt by word or deed, or towards whom I had

harbored any ill will. It was not an exercise in generalities. Person

after person rose into my memory, going back into the distant past and

I bowed in repentance before each one of them. Finally I begged

forgiveness from Stalin, against whom I had written so much and upon

whom I had hurled so many brickbats. The bitterness which had poisoned

my life over the long years was swept off my mind in a sudden

relaxation of nerves. I felt as if a thousand thorns which had

tormented my flesh had been taken out by a master physician without

causing the slightest pain. I was in need of no greater assurance that

this was the way on which I should walk.

 

"One day I told my friend and mentor Ram Swarup how I had never been

able to accept the Devi, either as Sarasvati or as Lakshmi or as Durga

or as Kali. He smiled and asked me to meditate on the Devi that day. I

tried my best in my own way. Nothing happened for some time. Nothing

came my way. My mind was a big blank. But in the next moment the void

was filled with a sense of some great presence. I did not see any

concrete image. No words were whispered in my ears. Yet the rigidity of

a lifetime broke down and disappeared. The Great Mother was beckoning

her lost child to go and sit in her lap and feel safe from all fears.

We had a record of Dr. Govind Gopal Mukhopadhyaya's sonorous stuti to

the Devi. As I played it, I prayed to Her.

 

"My progress was not fast; nor did I go far. But I now felt sure that

this was the method by which I could rediscover for myself the great

truths of which the ancients had spoken in Hindu scriptures. It was not

the end of my seeking, which had only started in right earnest. But it

was surely the end of my wandering in search of a shore where I could

safely anchor my soul and take stock of my situation.

 

"The soul's hunger for absolute Truth, absolute Good, absolute Beauty

and absolute Power, I was told, was like the body's hunger for

wholesome food and drink. And that which satisfied this hunger of the

human soul, fully and finally, was Sanatana Dharma, true for all times

and climes. A votary of Sanatana Dharma did not need an arbitrary

exercise of will to put blind faith in a supernatural revelation laid

down in a single scripture. He did not need the intermediacy of a

historical prophet nor the help of an organized church to attain

salvation. Sanatana Dharma called upon its votary to explore his own

self in the first instance and see for himself the truths expounded in

sacred scriptures. Prophets and churches and scriptures could be aids,

but never the substitutes for self-exploration, self-purification and

self-transcendence.

 

"I had come back at last, come back to my spiritual home from which I

had wandered away in self-forgetfulness. But this coming back was no

atavistic act. On the contrary, it was a reawakening to my ancestral

heritage, which was waiting for me all along to lay my claim on its

largesses. It was also the heritage of all mankind, as proved by the

seers, sages and mystics of many a time and clime. It spoke in

different languages to different people. To me it spoke in the language

of Hindu spirituality and Hindu culture at their highest. I could not

resist its call. I became a Hindu."