Krishna and believing in him...

[Guest guest]

I love Krishna, or at least I say this to my self repeatedly over and over. I have accepted Him as the God, and have faith in Him. However, there are times when my stupid mind goes to thinking negative thoughts (which are really undesired), like not accepting the existence of Krishna. Then, I assure myself by saying to myself, "He is there; i am sure that he is. I know He cares."

 

Other times I get the feeling that Krishna doesn't love me, or that he just doesn't care about me. I just start chanting the maha mantra in my mind, and assuring myself that this is false.

 

Most of my sometimes not believing in Krishna is due to family problems; it just is so that I have prayed to Krishna so many times to let us live in peace, but this never happens. There is peace for a little while, but then arguing amongst my family occurs, and people of the family start fighting. This is due to the father, who is just selfish. He intoxicates, is a gambler, eats meat once in a while, and i just dislike him. I don't even like to call him father, and i just tell myself that Krishna is my REAL father, this man that i have been calling 'father' is only the father of the body that i live in.

 

However, the bright side to all of this is that i think that my Krishna consciousness is growing rapidly, faster than ever before. Before like a month or so, i would hardly remember to chant the maha mantra when i could, but now i chant in (mainly in my mind because mom, i like her but she yells at like everything because she is tired of her husband, she has problems with me chanting the Hare Krishna maha mantra (she thinks that i should just chant swaminarayan, but i think that i have a right to chant what i want to.)

 

I didn't make this post just to let you know of my life and be done with it. My purpose is that, is it normal for a person(in a body that is 16 years old) to have the doubts in the mind like i do?

 

I am no Vaishnava, or at least yet. If Krishna wishes, then I will become a Vaishnava one day. I personally do not know any Vaishnava, because from what i have read, i believe the following: when a body takes birth (with a soul in it since it's the only way for it be be alive), it is a sudra. he must gradually advance to higher level of the caste system-------sudra, then vaishya, then kshatriya, and then a brAhmaNa. After this, when he becomes a pure devotee of Krishna or Vishnu, he is called a VaishNava, which is even higher than a brAhmaNa. If this concept is false, please state that in reply.

 

Jay RAdhA KRSNa

[Guest guest]

also, if you are a Vaishnava, can you please write down your e-mail. i would like to make a few, at least, friends that are Vaishnavas. I have aim(aol messenger) and windows messenger, so you can also leave your username if you like.

[gHari]

When Lord Sri Krsna Caitanya chanted aloud in the forest, all the wild animals would forget their beastly natures towards one another and stand on their hind legs and dance and chant with the Lord. So it is not our status wthin the community but rather our good fortune and love of God that makes our lives successful. Then we become vaishnava, surpassing any other bodily designation.

 

The unpleasant atmosphere is helping you to gradually reduce your attachment to family. Once you get things into perspective, I would't be surprised if things mellowed out a might.

[theist]

Arjuna had doubts to work through so why not us?

 

I wish at 16 I had been as thoughtful as you. Patience and perserverance on the bhakti path will reveal all.

 

Hare Krsna

[Priitaa]

Excellent point about the animals!

 

The caste system is no longer the same Divine one handed down by Lord Krishna. It has been contaminated by those who want power and prestigue. I read where Prabhupada commented that brahmana brings one up to the mode of goodness. He did not say it brings one up to the spiritual platform, but under one of the modes of material nature. All be it, a better one, but still, a mode/guna. Sattva itself can be used by the individual to elevate themselves to a higher platform, but they need not be brahmana to do that.

 

In addition, Prabhupada has made so many quotes about the unimportance of this caste system. One who is a qualfied brahmana is one who is a Vaisnava, or in other words, a qualified brahmana will do anything at all for Krishna, even clean the toilet at the temple.

 

So Prabhupada gave some brahmana initiation, but he also expected them to be trained up well enough that they would act like Vaisnavas and do whatever was needed for the Lord thus taking the humble posiiton. He also made it very clear that all one needs to go back to Godhead is Harinama or initiation into the Maha Mantra and second initiation (brahmana) was not required.

[Priitaa]

While I dont give out my email addy and dont do IMs anymore, I do send out a newsletter. It only comes out once or twice a month, so it won't fill up your email box. Here's the basic description I give:

 

INSPIRATION NEWSLETTER Great Krishna conscious newsletter for anyone, but especially those not near a temple, desirous of sane devotee association and enlivenment. Released once or twice a month, depending on how much time I have to put it together, but each issue is full of nectar, news, Prabhupada Uvaca (said), Gita, Krishna book, Chaitanya Caritamrta, veggie links, the 'old days' of the movement, Jayananda info, and whatever else I happen to think up or discover. :-) InspirationNewsletter

[Guest guest]

I suppose that everything is planned out by Krishna. The events in life, every cause, every effect, everything is planned out by Him and is due to his desire. He planned my life in such a way, that i sometimes think 'from what has happened, does Krishna want me to become a devotee of His, or does he want that i not become a devotee of his?'

 

then i think positively, and say, 'if He did not want me to be a devotee of His, would He not have planned out in such a way that i would never have even heard of Him?' then i accept that He does want me to become a devotee of his, which is why He has brought me to this path of devotion to Shree Krishna.

 

i love this site, for i can ask so much, and get so many nice replies from devotees here.

 

The seed of Love for Krishna has been put into the soil of this soil(which is me), and may the seed grow into a plant, and then to an everlasting and ever-growing tree in a world without limits. May Krishna make it that this tree is not a vraksha, for a vraksha means 'that which is to be ultimately cut'.

 

May Love for Krishna grow without limits in all that seek His love.

 

Chant Hare Krishna and be happy.