Can a bachelor attain moksha ?

[gokul]

I am Gokul from chennai (south india). i come from a sourashtra community. i respect "Sri Ramanaujacharya, Sri Madhvacharya, Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu & Sri VedaVyasa" equally as all of these divine acharyas (or incarnations of lord) have emphazised that Lord Narayana is supreme & has shown different ways to reach the Lord.

 

My question is : is it necessary for a devotee of Lord Vishnu (Krishna) to marry ? can he attain moksha by leading a pious life without marriage ? (Note : i am not talking about sanyasa. im just talking about leading a pious life without marriage.) please tell.

 

I humbly request sri vaishnava scholars, lord madhva scholars, iskcon scholars or any true vaishnava scholar to consider my humble query.

 

[Priitaa]

My goodness, it is BETTER to remain brahmacari. (I am assuming by bachelor you actually mean celibate brahmacari.) If that is your desire, you are one step ahead of the game. I suppose your family or cultural tradition may be saying otherwise, but read Bhagavad Gita As It is, plus other shastra translated by the greatest scholor of all as he is a pure devotee - Srila Prabhuapda, and you will see that it is easier to cross the ocean of birth and death when one is not married. The problem is, most can't really do that for life, but to whatever degree you can maintain - go for it!

 

Prabhupada's Gita:

http://www.asitis.com

 

You can do a word search on that site too.

[Guest guest]

(Note : i am not talking about sanyasa. im just talking about leading a pious life without marriage.)

 

pious life without marriage means sannyasa otherwise it is impious, sinful

 

it is extremely rare to be without sex attraction, almost impossible, so do not feel forced to be married but keep yourself open to this solution..

 

or, if you do not find a girl that you like and love.. no problem, let's wait, no hurry.. but do not take it as a spiritual achievement, benedition and so on

[gokulkr]

I think you have mistaken me.

 

Generally sanyasis means not just unmarried but also left everything, and remain in ashram or forest or mathas.

 

But for my livelihood i do some online business. i just spend 2-3 hrs per day in my materialistic business. most of other hours i spend in collecting spiritual knowledge and worshipping Lord Narayana.

 

i stay away from girls.i dont show myself in public (as some pseudo saints do). i just remain at home (most of the time) & pray. i also use internet as a source of spiritual knowledge.

 

i think if i get married, the girl (ie., my wife) will lead me to materialistic whirlpool and make me think of expanding my business all the time. Also i have terrible love experiennce in my college days making me feel that materialistic pleasures (mostly attachment with girls/ falling in love with a girl) gives seveare mental pain whether if fail or suceeed. If we fail we are tortued by the mental agony. if we succed then we are bounded in the materialistic whirlpool.

 

But worshipping lotus feet of Lord Narayana & also worshipping the divine vaishnava gurus (or acharyas) gives immense pleasure, that we cant get from anything.

 

but some ancient scriptures say dying without having a santhana (child) will not get moksha.

 

thats why i put forward the question -> whether bachelors attain moksha ?

 

Anyway, thanks to Prittaa & Ashram for replying to my query.

 

Hare Krishna. Hare Rama.

Om Namo Bhagavathe Vasudevaya.

[Guest guest]

Generally sanyasis means not just unmarried but also left everything, and remain in ashram or forest or mathas.

<<yes.. to work, to have a job is "traditionally" for one who has to mantain other people.. kids.. wife.. old parents..

 

sannyasi, vanaprasta, brahmachary are alone, surrendered to god.. so there's (tipically) no use to work

...

 

i think if i get married, the girl (ie., my wife) will lead me to materialistic whirlpool and make me think of expanding my business all the time.

<<or she will keep yourself free from more gross use of your sexuality and it will be a devotional service in going back to godhead together with some souls that you have protected in the role of husband, father, uncle, grandfather etc.. it depends from your level, karma, guna wheter marriage will be an advancement or a loss.. in most cases it is an advancement

.....

But worshipping lotus feet of Lord Narayana & also worshipping the divine vaishnava gurus (or acharyas)

<<<so it is the right question to make to an acharya.. find him and make it, do not decide it whimsically (even if it is theorical, if you do not have a girl no one can say you "marry" or "do not marry")

.....

 

but some ancient scriptures say dying without having a santhana (child) will not get moksha.

>>>and it is true.. but a greater instruction in bhagavad gita is to surrender to krishna and this surrendering will solve all the other dharmas and duties.. provided we are really surrendered, not fakes

 

thats why i put forward the question -> whether bachelors attain moksha ?

>>>>yes.. why not? provided he's a real bachelor (sannyasi, brahmachary, vanaprasta.. or something in between) not a frustrated or a fanatic

 

(not knowing you i have to speak with general rules, considerations.. as i did in the other message)

 

 

[Guest guest]

Generally sanyasis means not just unmarried but also left everything, and remain in ashram or forest or mathas.

a:yes.. to work, to have a job is "traditionally" for one who has to mantain other people.. kids.. wife.. old parents.. sannyasi, vanaprasta, brahmachary are alone, surrendered to god.. so there's (tipically) no use of it

 

i think if i get married, the girl (ie., my wife) will lead me to materialistic whirlpool and make me think of expanding my business all the time.

a:or she will keep yourself free from more gross use of your sexuality and it will be a devotional service in going back to godhead together with some souls that you have protected in the role of husband, father, uncle, grandfather etc.. it depends from your level, karma, guna

 

But worshipping lotus feet of Lord Narayana & also worshipping the divine vaishnava gurus (or acharyas)

a:so it is the right question to make to an acharya.. find him and make it, do not decide it whimsically (even if it is theorical, if you do not have a girl no one can say you "marry" or "do not marry")

 

but some ancient scriptures say dying without having a santhana (child) will not get moksha.

a:and it is true.. but a more important instruction is in bhagavad gita to surrender to krishna and this surrendering will solve all the other duties.. provided we are really surrendered

 

thats why i put forward the question -> whether bachelors attain moksha ?

a:yes.. why not? provided he's a real bachelor (sannyasi, brahmachary, vanaprasta.. or something in between) not a frustrated or a fanatic

 

(not knowing you i have to speak with general rules, considerations.. as i did in the other message)

 

[gokulkr]

pls tell me what should i do to live as a bramachary.

 

tell crystal clear with instructions.

[Guest guest]

i sure hope so.

[Guest guest]

i think if i get married, the girl (ie., my wife) will lead me to materialistic whirlpool and make me think of expanding my business all the time. Also i have terrible love experiennce in my college days making me feel that materialistic pleasures (mostly attachment with girls/ falling in love with a girl) gives seveare mental pain whether if fail or suceeed. If we fail we are tortued by the mental agony. if we succed then we are bounded in the materialistic whirlpool.

 

IMHO, this is a tremendous realization. It has always been my view that one of the reasons marriage is recommended for most devotees is so that we may eventually reach the level of realization you have already achieved. That way, when the time is right to become a sannyasi, there will be no regrets, no looking back thinking "what if?" Usually, my experience has been that most married devotees are wishing that they were still single, and most single devotees are wishing they were married. But if you are already free from this dilemma, then this is a great boon, and gives you a chance to spend far more time for practicing Krsna Consciousness.

 

Don't let anyone discourage you. It sounds like one guest here wants you to either be a full-fledged brahmacari (or sannyasa), or otherwise get married. I've heard the term "bachelorcary" used before in ISKCON-speak. There are many devotees who are single and and who work, yet who are not fully situated in any particular ashram. Sometimes if you go to a Temple you may find single middle-aged devotee men wearing white dhoti. They aren't married, neither are they looking to be married. Yet neither are they brahmacari, vanaprastha, or sannyasa. Lord Chaitanya wasn't too caught up in material designations. He simply stated that He was the servant of the servant of the servant of the devotees of Krsna.

 

Priitaa has given good advice. Go for it for as long as you can. If you are reading and chanting and spending your free time wisely in devotional service, this is wonderful. As far as attaining "moksha", well, the goal which Vaishnavas aspire for is something higher than this. But if by moksha you mean becoming free from the cycle of samsara and returning to Vaikuntha or Goloka Vrindavana, then yes, you certainly have a good chance of achieving this, provided you study the books of the bona fide Acaryas, and whenever possible, associate with devotees who are advanced on this path.

 

Just my humble opinion, for what it's worth.

 

your servant,

Bhakta Dan

[Guest guest]

pls tell me what should i do to live as a bramachary.

tell crystal clear with instructions.

 

i am not your spiritual master, i have already said that i don't know you, i have said only that your situation is atypical (in the way i have already said) and that it is almost impossible to overcome the sex desire without the experience of a marriage in spiritual consciousness

 

simple varnashrama dharma basics

 

..

 

brahmachary is a monk, he has no possession, he lives in the ashram and he serves the temple

 

in our gaudya vaishnava sampradaya the disciple asks the advice and permission to the spiritual master

 

[Guest guest]

It sounds like one guest here wants you to either be a full-fledged brahmacari (or sannyasa), or otherwise get married.

.. nothing has to done artificially or in a hurry but this is varnashrama

 

There are many devotees who are single and and who work, yet who are not fully situated in any particular ashram. Sometimes if you go to a Temple you may find single middle-aged devotee men wearing white dhoti. They aren't married, neither are they looking to be married. Yet neither are they brahmacari, vanaprastha, or sannyasa.

..it is surprising how in the name of detachment we are simply advicing for personal and social instability (f these middle aged men are there because they really are fit for it.. they are vanaprasta.. , if they are still in the sex desire i justify this living at the temple as an emergency, otherwise i am sorry but this state is the source of many problems for them, the math, the society in general.. if we are not in pure devotion varnashrama system is essential to get it)

 

 

[gokulkr]

Hare Rama Hare Krishna

Om Namo Narayana

 

Thank you Bhakta dan. You have opened my eyes more widely than before. Thank you for encouraging me.

 

May Lord krishna convince my parents also.

 

[Guest guest]

I hope that your parents will be supportive in your spiritual quest. If they disapprove of your decision, it may be possible to appease them by explaining to them that perhaps in a few years you may get married, but for now, you feel that you will make a better husband in the long term if you practice Bhakti Yoga as a celibate bachelor for now. If they believe that it's just a temporary phase in your life, then often they will be more understanding. Besides, you may feel differently in a few years anyway.

 

My best wishes to you,

 

Bhakta Dan

[gokulkr]

my parents are compelling me to get married. Even though they are also devotees , but they still want to me to get married.

 

They also said that it will be a sin on my side, if i disobey my parents & lead a bramachary life.

 

They say that disobeying parents & chanting Lord krsna's name will not lead to moksha as God will not pleased with a devotee disobeying parents.

 

Yes, what they say is true. In Vedas, it is clearly stated that Parents should be regarded supreme , then guru & then only we should surrender to God. Even Lord Rama had emphasized this by obeying Dasarathas words.

 

Now i am in a dilemma. If i get married, theres a greater chance of pulled up in a materialistic whirlpool. If i dont get married, then i will be committing sin of disobeying my parents. With this sin, its difficult to attain moksha (as all the saints had obeyed their parents).

 

What should i do ?

 

 

 

[Dervish]

Look at the life of Srila Raghunatha das Goswami. His parents also wanted him to get married, but he left, and had the siksa of Mahaprabhu, Srila Rupa Goswami, and Srila Sanatana Goswami. He is in Krsna-lila as Rasa Manjari (some say Rati Manjari, but the concensus among all the Gaudiya Vaishnavas is that indeed he is serving in Krsna lila as a Manjari). He wrote Sri Manah Siksa.

 

The vast majority of us on this forum are aiming for Krsna prema, not moksa. You will most certainly not get into trouble for disobeying your parents on this particular request. Ultimately you can let them introduce you to prospective wives, and then say each one is "too boring" for you.

[Guest guest]

What should i do ?

 

let's make it more simple... you cannot marry a girl that you do not love, there's no need for you to argue on brahmacharya, sins, ramachandra and other religious subjects

 

it is more simple: you have not to marry by force, not at all, this is not religious, ethic, spiritual, moral.. neither legal!!!

[Govindaram]

 

"They say that disobeying parents & chanting Lord krsna's name will not lead to moksha as God will not pleased with a devotee disobeying parents."

 

Parents should be honoured yes, and if they have a certain request of you that you cannot fulfil, then they should understand. Maybe you can comprimize? (no idea how), your parents do own your body, but not the soul, so even if you do decide to get married then think of it as a sacrifice for your parents and yourself, if you are determined Not to get married, then you should become very serious in you bhajan/kirtan.

 

[Haridham]

Hare Krsna Gokulr prabhu. I was in the same boat as you are. I know exactly how you feel but you must rememeber something.....Prahalad Maharaj didnt listen to his father, Sukadev goswami jumped out his mothers womb and never came back but I understand your situation.

 

Just depend on krsna, respecting your parents is great but that doesnt mean you cannot think for yourself. Your parents cant force you to do anything. Just because they give birth to you doesnt mean they can do whatever they want. YOU HAVE TO BECOME QUALIFIED TO BECOME A MOTHER, FATHER, GURU, HUSBAND, WIFE OR DEMIGOD.

 

I listened to my parents and not my guru maharaj and I am in SUCH A BIG MESS RIGHT NOW.

 

You must follow guru sastra sadhu, if what your parents are saying doesnt fit those three critierias then you can reject what they are saying.

 

And actually its Parents will be pleased if Krsna is pleased.Krsna is the original father and vedas are your mother, what about them. You have had Material parents for a billion lifetimes plus but they havent done their duty or else you woudnt be returning life after life.

 

gurur na syat sva-jano na syat

PITA na syaj JNANI na syat

daivam na tat syan na patis ca sa syan

na mocayed yah samupeta-mrtyum

 

"One who cannot deliver his dependents from the path of repeated birth and death should never become a spiritual master, a father, a husband, a mother or a worshipable demigod.

 

S.B 5.5.18

 

Now I am not saying you must disrespect your parents but they should understand the sastras.

 

Good luck with your endevours, the new few years will be rather difficult but you will krsna by your side.

 

Hare KRsna

 

[Guest guest]

VERSE 38

 

 

Do thou fight for the sake of fighting, without considering happiness or

distress, loss or gain, victory or defeat--and by so doing you shall never

incur sin.

 

PURPORT

 

Lord Krsna now directly says that Arjuna should fight for the sake of fighting because

He desires the battle. There is no consideration of happiness or distress, profit or

gain, victory or defeat in the activities of Krsna consciousness. That everything should

be performed for the sake of Krsna is transcendental consciousness; so there is no

reaction to material activities. He who acts for his own sense gratification, either in

goodness or in passion, is subject to the reaction, good or bad. But he who has

completely surrendered himself in the activities of Krsna consciousness is no longer

obliged to anyone, nor is he a debtor to anyone, as one is in the ordinary course of

activities. It is said:

 

devarsi-bhutapta-nrnam pitènam

na kinkaro nayam rni ca rajan

sarvatmana yah saranam saranyam

gato mukundam parihrtya kartam

 

"Anyone who has completely surrendered unto Krsna, Mukunda, giving up all other

duties, is no longer a debtor, nor is he obliged to anyone--not the demigods, nor the

sages, nor the people in general, nor kinsmen, nor humanity, nor forefathers." (Bhag.

11.5.41) That is the indirect hint given by Krsna to Arjuna in this verse, and the matter

will be more clearly explained in the following verses.

 

 

Bhakta Dan

[Tarun]

1) a grhastha who only approaches his wife/releases for procreation, lit. "only moves for brahma"

2) a brahmacari who lives at home, not in ashram.

==========

Srila Bhaktipramoda Puri Mhrj's mother wanted him to marry. He was ready to receive sannyAs from Srila Sarasvati ThAkur, but his mother forbid him to do so so long she remained alive. His guru disappeared 1Jan1937. His mother left shortly after. BP Puri Mhrj did accept sannyAs after his mother disappeared.

Srila Swami PrabhupAd preferred a different wife, but his father convinced him to marry the girl he did NOT want to be with. Y? So renunciation would b easier later on.

Srila Saraswati ThAkur admitted:

"I am not meant for household life, yet I am prepared to conceive/produce 100 children if I am guaranteed they will all b Krishna Conscious."

5 of 12 mahAjans were/r brahmacari.

8 of 15 mahAjans were/r brahmacari.

When BrahmAji's first sons, the 4 KUmaras refused to marry, BrahmAji became angry, thus giving birth to Rudra emanating from between his eyebrows. What a birth!!

In Vedik life there's always 3 choices: sattvik, rajasik, tamasik

Iow, yes, wait, no => positive, confused, negative

When something is unclear, wait. Meanwhile, pray while u wait.

Pray to Providence for a clear solution to this temporary impasse.

[ShegavichaRana]

you have to develop a very pure mind that does not harbour thoughts of passion. A continuous thought of passion will lead you to take the action to fulfil the desire. By not marrying you might disobey your parents, but by marrying someone without any liking for the marriage and the lady in question, one would make her life much more miserable, thereby sinning further. It is best to convince parents why he/she does not want to get married, than enter into marriage for their sake.

Many of the true saints in India were bachelors.

[gokulkr]

Parents are telling me that they will select a pious girl willing to assist ur spiritual life. Also they said you (me)can clarify whether she is pious or not while you (me) meet her.

 

They further that they said put this burden on Lord Shiva.

 

Lord Shiva is a vaishnavaite. Im sure Lord Shiva wont disappoint me.

 

======================================================

 

Anyway told i went to Sri Raghavendra Swamy Mutt and Sri Vaadiraja Swamy mutt. I Felt very divine and cool. Many good people came there & everyone piously surrendered to Lord Raghavendra.

 

Lord Hanuman giving darshan above Lord Raghavendra. Lord Krishna giving darshan above Lord Hanuman.

Thus Lord RadheKrishna, below Lord Hanuman & below Lord Raghavendra. It was a treat to watch three deities in a single sannidhi. I prayed to all 3 swamys.

 

In Vaadiraja Mutt -> Lord Panchmukha Hanuman, Lord Hyagreeva, Goddess Durga, Bhutha Raja & Lord Vaadiraja can be seen in a same sannidhi. What a treat to eyes & soul. But i was able to concntrate on Lord Hanuman & Lord Vaadiraja. Tomooroww i will be going again to this temple. this time, i will concentrate on Lord Hyagreeva also.

 

JAI GURU SARANAM.

HARE KRISHNA.

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

I have put my burden on Lord Madhvacharya & Lord Raghavendra. (two great saints of "Dvaitam")

 

I See Krishna through them.

 

they will guide me.

 

 

[gokulkr]

I have put my burden on Lord Madhvacharya & Lord Raghavendra. (two great saints of "Dvaitam")

 

I See Krishna through them.

 

they will guide me.