The Boatman And The Scholar

Govindaram · February 5, 2004

From Krishna Conscious Play Scripts (new 98)

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CAST: Narrator, Professor, Boatman. PROPS: The professor wears a long coat and hat, small wire-framed glasses and carries a briefcase. In the briefcase is a copy of Srimad Bhagavatam, Canto 1. He also carries an umbrella.

SCENE ONE

Narrator: Our scene opens on the bank of the Ganges river, opposite to the city of Benares. The professor is in a hurry to cross the Ganges in time for his scheduled lecture as a guest speaker at the prestigious Institute of Futurology.

Professor: (irritated, in a hurry, talking to himself) I can't believe it! The bridge is destroyed from the flood last week! Typically India! Typical, typical! How am I supposed to get across this blasted river now? I simply must be at the university on time! (sees Boatman sitting and mending something) Hey there, you! Tell me, how on earth and heaven is one supposed to get across this river when the bridge is out, huh?

Boatman: (detached) Well, you could take a boat.

Professor: A boat. Not a bad idea. (still irritated) And where might one find a boat under these conditions? No doubt there are thousands of people trying to get boat rides across the river under these conditions!

Boatman: Well, I've got a boat for hire.

Professor: Really? I do say? (feigning indifference) What's your price?

Boatman: One way, or round trip?

Professor: One way.

Boatman: One person?

Professor: One person. (emphasizes words in his impatience)

Boatman: Five rupees, fifty paisa.

Professor: (astonished) Five rupees, fifty paisa!? That's insane! Forget it. I'm not going to pay that much. In my country that's called thievery...

Boatman: As you like. (continues mending) But I don't think you'll find anyone cheaper. That's the price these days. A man has to earn a living to support his family...

Professor: Okay, okay, just show me your boat.

Boatman: Just five minutes and I'll be finished mending this life-jacket.

Professor: No! Let's go now! I'll be late for my appointment at the university. I must deliver a very important lecture...(looks at his watch)...in exactly one hour.

Boatman: Alright. Here's my boat-please get in, sir.

Professor: (hesitant) Is this boat navigable?

Boatman: Navigable? What does that mean?

Professor: It doesn't leak?

Boatman: No, sir! I've had this same boat for twenty years. No problem!

Professor: (doubtful) Alright. Let's go.

Boatman: (holds out hand, expecting payment. Professor pays him hurriedly) You climb in, please, and I will push off. (Professor climbs in clumsily, forgetting his umbrella) Your umbrella, sir. (Boatman hands him his umbrella)

Professor: Oh yes, thank you. (Boatman pushes off, beginning to row, showing great endeavor) Tell me, boatman, if you don't mind my asking, what is your age?

Boatman: My age? Fifty-two last week.

Professor: Hmmm, fifty-two, and I suppose you have been rowing boats across the Ganges your whole life, eh?

Boatman: That's right.

Professor: Did you ever consider investing in a motorboat?

Boatman: Invest?...Motor...?

Professor: Sure. If you had started saving money when you were young, by now you could have bought a first-class motorboat. Not only would you not have to work so hard in your old age, you could carry a lot more passengers and make a lot more money. And with that extra money you could buy more boats and rent them out...and by now you could be a rich man. Money makes money, they say!

Boatman: (gravely) Hmmm...money...I'm certainly not a rich man, but I get by. And whatever excess money I have, I use for Krishna-seva.

Professor: Krishna-what?

Boatman: Krishna-seva-service to Krishna. Worship of Krishna.

Professor: You don't mean to say you belong to that Hare Krishna sect, do you?

Boatman: My family has been worshiping Krishna for generations. I don't know what you mean by "sect." In Bhagavad-Gita Krishna says "bhoktaram yajna tapasam, sarva-loka-mahesvaram"-He says, "I am the Supreme Lord, the Supreme enjoyer of all sacrifices." Therefore I worship Him. I simply accept the statements of Bhagavad-Gita.

Professor: Ach! This religion nonsense! Nothing more than an opiate for the people, if you ask me! It is one thing I have to agree with Karl Marx about: "Religion is the opiate for the people." Have you ever heard of Karl Marx?

Boatman: He is a movie actor, isn't he?

Professor: (turns to audience) Just see! He doesn't know anything! He hasn't the slightest idea about economics, neither for his own economic advancement nor in theory. He has no idea about the great theories of economics, by which this whole world moves! Typically India! (turns to Boatman) I must say, Boatman, 25% of your life is wasted!

Boatman: Wasted?

Professor: Wasted! Simply wasted.

Boatman: Well, I wouldn't say "wasted." I may not be so well educated as far as book learning in school goes, but every evening I hear stories read by our village brahmanas from the Mahabharata and the Ramayana. You have heard of these books, sir?

Professor: Of course, of course-mythology, all my-tho-lo-gy! Just some stories compiled for maintaining a stable and complacent society. As the rest of the world marches onward to greater and greater frontiers of advancement, India hobbles behind, worshipping her "sacred" cows. You probably don't even know that we have landed men on the moon, do you?

Boatman: Yes, someone was telling me about that, but quite frankly, I have my doubts.

Professor: (flabbergasted) DOUBTS!?

Boatman: Yes, doubts. After all, what did they find there? A few rocks, I heard.

Professor: Not "a few rocks"-a LOT of rocks!!!

Boatman: Okay, a lot of rocks. Anyway, according to the Vedic description of the moon, there is much more than rocks to be found there. Actually it is a very beautiful, heavenly place. The people there live for 10,000 years, with each day being equal to our six months. If you ask me, they didn't land on the moon. Maybe some other planet. Anyway, they couldn't stay there, so what is the use?

Professor: (indignant) Use? For advancement of human knowledge, of course! Man has an intrinsic need to explore the vast reaches of the unknown, to leave no stone

unturned, as the saying goes.

Boatman: That's alright, but what is the use if you know so much about moon rocks and film stars, but do not know who you are?

Professor: (offended) You think I don't know who I am!? Of course I know who I am! I am the famous, one and only, Professor Swagalot, with degrees in several subjects, including Astro-physical-biology, Political-economic-simplistics, and Ontological-paleo-cryptology. And I've studied so many subjects thoroughly and written hundred of papers and articles and books and I'm so busy with speaking engagements, that I simply have no time...

Boatman: No time to consider who you actually are...after all, that is what human life is for. That is what the Vedas say-the goal of life is to realize who you really are-as an eternal spirit soul...

Professor: Look, Boatman, that's quite enough. And why are you slowing down? It is getting late. Hurry up, for God's sake! /images/graemlins/confused.gif

Boatman: Yes, okay. (resumes rowing, singing quietly to himself the Hare Krishna mantra)

Professor: With your cows and Vedas and all that, you don't even believe that we have landed on the moon! Ha! I say 50% of your life is wasted! I...my God, I almost forgot, I have to prepare my address to the Institute of Futurology about human genetic perfection. Where is my notebook? (digs in his briefcase, pulls out Srimad-Bhagavatam, Canto 1) What is this book? Oh yes, some young lady sold me this book in the New York airport. I told her I wouldn't have time to read it, but she wouldn't take "no" for an answer. (opens book, reads one verse aloud) Hmmm...Sanskrit-very old language...srnvatam sva-kathah krsnah...Ha! Krishna! I thought so! (addresses Boatman) You Krishnas are everywhere! (opens book randomly, reads aloud) "In the revealed scriptures, the ultimate object of knowledge is Sri Krishna, the Personality of Godhead. The purpose of performing sacrifice is to please Him. Yoga is for realizing Him. All fruitive activities are ultimately rewarded by Him only. He is supreme knowledge, and all severe austerities are performed to know Him. Religion (dharma) is rendering loving service unto Him. He is the supreme goal of life." That's 1.2.28 and 29. (forgets himself for a moment)

Boatman: Jai! Haribol, Haribol!

Professor: (resuming attitude of irritated impatience) Oh, no! Again this Krishna! Why me?! Anyway, look here Boatman, just get me across this accursed river, fast!

Boatman: Excuse me, sir, but this river is none other than the sacred mother Ganges, whose waters emanate from the lotus feet of Lord Vishnu. Please don't offend her in that way.

Professor: (exaggerated apology) Oh, I'm so sorry. And I suppose you want to tell me that the water is completely pure, huh? If you only knew how much disease-carrying micro-organisms these rivers in India carry! Sometimes I wonder what is the use of this country at all. After all that the British did for you, you still insist on keeping your antiquated ways. Boatman, tell me what you know about the British colonial time in India.

Boatman: Not a whole lot. I know they came and built railroads all over the place so that many people left the land and went to the cities to work in factories in squalorous, inhumane conditions...

Professor: 75% of your life is wasted! I say there, where did you hear this propaganda? What nonsense. Simply nonsense. If it weren't for the British...Hey, what's going on? (opens his umbrella) It's raining and getting cold and blowing like anything! (a little humble) Boatman, can't you be quicker?

Boatman: I'm trying my best. But the current is very strong. (rows intently, chanting "Jaya Govinda, Jaya Gopal, Keshava Madhava Dina-dayal") The weather is very unpredictable at this time of year. A heavy rainstorm can come at a moment's notice.

Professor: But, but hurry up...(shows panic) This can't be-I have to deliver my lecture on Futurology. Look, I'll even pay you five rupees extra to hurry up!

Boatman: That is all right. I don't think it will help at this point. You can keep your money. (takes off shoes, shirt)

Professor: What are you doing now?

Boatman: Getting ready to swim.

Professor: (panicking, tearful) Swim?! You are going to swim?

Boatman: What else is there to do? (boat capsizes) Excuse me sir, but we'll just have to swim for it now; it's not so far, but...can you swim, by the way?

Professor: Nooooooooooooooooo!

Boatman: Then 100% of your life is wasted! /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

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Narrator: The life of our unfortunate Professor was not actually 100% wasted. After all, he had read a verse from Srimad-Bhagavatam, heard the Hare Krishna mantra, and even drowned in the sacred Ganga-no doubt freeing him from all sinful reactions of his past misdeeds. As for his so-called advanced learning, we see that it was not sufficient to defend him from the jaws of death. Our simple boatman, on the other hand, despite his lack of book-knowledge on material subjects of so-called advancement, had sufficient knowledge not only to save himself from a physically dangerous situation, but also to bring him to realize the goal of life-going back home, back to Godhead.

We urge you to read the books mentioned in this play-the ancient Vedic literatures translated into English by His Divine Grace Srila Prabhupada. The Srimad-Bhagavatam and the Bhagavad-Gita are available today from the devotees here. Thank you very much.

The End