The Early Days--please read this dear devotees.

March 15, 2004

"If my local temple bars me, then it is their loss; as it has been over the past twenty-five years anyway."

Are you actually banned from the local temple for 25 years, or just feel unwelcome there for some reason? Would you like someone to intervene on your behalf to rectify the situation, whatever it is?

gHari · March 16, 2004

Change of management. I am not banned. Actually they forgot all about it.

Okay, I guess the dirt is interesting now. And the shame is no longer there; maybe because the heart has changed.

My first time to morning activities in a temple: I drove 45 miles at 4AM, and started walking around in the japa circle. When we offered obeisances to the Deities, some old outsider fellow kept grabbing my feet and clenching them. First at Gaura-Nitai, again at Sri Sri Radha-Gopinatha, and then again at Lord Jagannatha. That was weird.

Then he would follow me all over the temple as I chanted. I would go up the stairs, he would follow. Down the stairs, he would follow. Into this room, that room. I'm ashamed to say it, but I thought he was an old lecher.

Finally it got to me and after I went through a doorway, I turned suddenly and reversed my path. Of course, he was coming through the doorway following me. I stuck out my arm, and like a football player, straight-armed my way through the doorway. Pushing his shoulder caused him to spin in a circle, ending sitting in a lotus on the floor. He let out a groan and the temple president appeared.

He got me to explain what happened, and then said that I could now only come to the temple for Sunday feasts.

In retrospect, the punishment saved me from accepting two different gurus who would later both drift out of favour with ISKCON. I would today be a servant of Srila Jayapataka Swami and that might not be too bad, although I might well have remained true to Bhagavan Maharaja. As it was, I was able to find service with a major Christian church computerizing their Canadian activities. Maybe it was some sort of divine plan. Maybe it was just Gary's homophobia.

As it is, I am the guy who is not brainwashed; the proof that one need not be brainwashed in the cult enclave to become a crazy Hairy Krishna fellow.

I show up yearly at Ratha Yatra since that is a public place; Krsna comes to see me, and no one can stop Him. It has a real special meaning for me. My temple is the world.

I started accompanying a senior preacher to preaching engagements at Universities and High Schools in the mid-nineties (that is, I drove). When I recounted the story, he had forgotten all about it, even though he had been a witness to my shame. The president who threw me out ran off with someone else's wife and left his own wife and his kids and the temple to fend for themselves. Now he has to live on the outside like me (selling BMWs instead of BTGs). It's one crazy world.

Sometimes I would sneak into the temple, like when I took all the pictures for the Kingdom website. I didn't get 'caught'. LOL. Nowadays I just follow my feet around. I don't know what is to become of me, but I'll be fine. Don't worry about me. If that's what was needed to get me where I am, then let it be, again and again. I am one happy fellow with no regrets.

gHari