How to have sons as KC householders

[krsna]

Wedding Lecture by Prithu Dasa

HOW TO HAVE SONS -

 

The idea is that we need to learn how to be Krsna

conscious householders, then we will be able to also

have Krsna conscious children. When Srila Prabhupad

saw that so many daughters were being born in our

society he was not very pleased. At the end of his

life he didn't even want to hear about it. I

personally witnessed him in the last 3 weeks of his

life refuse to hear when a daughter was born. He

would groan and say," they do not know the science."

His personal secretary wasn't even allowed to tell

him when a daughter was born. He wanted only news of

the sons. He could understand that if there were

daughters being born that there was sense

gratification in the relationship.

Srila Prabhupad says in a Bhagavatam purport that if

the husband is more passionate than the wife at the

time of conception then a son is produced. If the

wife is more passionate, a daughter may be the

result. So, in order to avoid arousing unwanted

passion in a woman which may result in conceiving

daughters one should keep it simple. My advice is to

try and avoid arousing the wife, and that's not

difficult as women are much slower then men. It is

absolute ly vital that the act of intercourse is

limited to just that; a biological function intended

to procreate. It is not meant for indulging in

unnecessary sense gratification. Devotee: But, if

the woman isn't aroused at this time, she will have

no discharge which would make intercourse

uncomfrortable, isn't it? Prithu: Jesus, now we are

getting into the details!!! Another devotee: Many

householders of course get around this by using oil.

Prithu das: This is a practical solution. And it is

a fact that if we want to keep the whole affair

simple we have to be practical. The bottom line is

that raising children is our service to Krishna and

for that we do what is necessary. We try to keep our

relationships free from sense gratification and then

Krishna will recipricate and there will be a good

result. This is good advice. As for the wife, the

main thing that matters is that she will preferably

have a son. This will give her security for the

future, as the husband may die before her.

The simple rule is keep it simple and don't stay

with each other more then necessary. If there is no

messing and everything is straightforward there will

be a good result.

 

...

 

Another point is Krsna Himself says in Bhagavad Gita

that He is nondifferent than sex life which is

performed according to rules and regulations. And

accompanying those rules and regulations there are

innumerable guidelines in the scriptures; Ayur Veda

as well as Manu Samhita as well as the Ling Bheda

and many others. If a man is engaging in sex life

more than the prescribed one time per month during

ovulation, then he will lose exessive amounts of

sperm; rakta or life-giving energy. This makes him

not only spiritually weak, because this valuable

life substance no longer travels upwards to nourish

his brain, but it becomes wasted in sex life which

is not aimed at conceiving a nice child. If the

semen is only used to attempt conception once a

month and is otherwise withheld, then it becomes

very powerful and there is more likelihood a son

will be born. Often we have made the observation

even in religious families that often it happens

that if the first child is a son, there will be a

daughter as the immediate next child. The Ayur Veda

reccommends that children are spaced every 3 years

so that the husband's rakta source can again become

powerful and the woman can fully recover from child

birth. Even western doctors will agree tha t it

takes a full 3 years to recover from the birthing of

a child. It requires so much energy.

In combination with the above information, I want to

mention another factor which has a large influence

in determining the sex of your child. In the Ayur

Veda it is recommended that the wife fasts and the

husband feasts. This is in reference to the actual

day when conception is attempted. The husband should

eat the finest of foods containing milk and ghee,

sweets and spices. Indian women prepare a feast for

their husbands including all the things their

husbands like to eat for the occaision.

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

We are thought to depend on Krishna, to surrender to Krishna right?

 

Then let go the desire to control what sex will your child be. Krishna knows what is best for you, not YOU. If one couple is to have girls only then so be it. Lets not bring certain child birth atrocities of eastern countries here in the west. (I mean the killing of female babies after they are born or leaving them for adoption)

 

Every soul is important and a child of our Lord, female or male body alike, these are simply dresses. If we give up this false conception then everyone will have their future protected.

 

Hare Krishna

[stonehearted]

Dear God, gimme a break! I'm not surprised that Prithu is saying such things in public, but I can't believe that anyone takes this stuff seriously. This should give pause to any thoughtful devotees considering seeking his shelter. I've had nice personal dealings with Prithu, but he is known for speaking indiscreetly.

 

We conceived our two daughters doing all the stuff we could find for getting boys (we thought it would be nice to have one son and one daughter), including many, many rounds of japa. We wouldn't trade them for any of the boys we've seen.

 

Krishna has His own plan. I heard once that someone asked Srila Prabhupada why so many girls were being born to his disciples, and he replied with something to the effect that it was Krishna's plan to trick many men into becoming interested in Krishna consciousness.

[Guest guest]

Its so embarassing to see that you guys discuss these things in Public.

 

And whats wrong in having a daughters? Is your sect againast females or what?

[krsna]

"Become Brahmana"

66/07/29 New York, Bhagavad-gita 4.12-13

 

 

So therefore the system in the, according to varnasrama-dharma, that not only by birth, before birth, when the father and mother is going to be combined to beget a child, there are cultural samskaras or reformatory measures. How much carefully these things are. They wanted first-class son, not sons like cats and dogs, first-class son. So there is some samskara. There is some purificatory measures, which is called garbhadhana-samskara. Garbhadhana means pregnancy, the cultural ceremony before making the mother pregnant. And it is enjoined, you will find in the Bhagavata, that any family, the brahmanas, the ksatriyas and vaisyas, if they give up this garbhadhana-samskara, birth-giving ceremony, then that family turns immediately to the classification of the sudras.

 

So nowadays, at the present moment, this cultural program... I am speaking of India and everywhere. There is no such cultural program. That cultural program, that program to beget nice children, the whole program is, we must know, the whole Vedic system is to give the human life the greatest chance of self-realization and get free from these material miseries. That is the whole program. It is not... The Vedic culture does not mean that we shall be like cats and dogs, simply eating, sleeping, mating and defending. No. The human society is a systematic program to give everyone the chance of getting free from this material miseries.

[stonehearted]

Guest: Its so embarassing to see that you guys discuss these things in Public.

 

And whats wrong in having a daughters? Is your sect againast females or what?

 

 

Yes, it is embarassing. I guess that some among us are prejudiced against females. Maybe I just need to find other company. Our philosophy is not against females, and many of our best members are women. This is a dopey thread.

[Dervish]

When Srila Prabhupad

saw that so many daughters were being born in our

society he was not very pleased. At the end of his

life he didn't even want to hear about it. I

personally witnessed him in the last 3 weeks of his

life refuse to hear when a daughter was born. He

would groan and say," they do not know the science."

His personal secretary wasn't even allowed to tell

him when a daughter was born. He wanted only news of

the sons. He could understand that if there were

daughters being born that there was sense

gratification in the relationship.

 

Please show me ONE interview, lecture, room conversation, letter, etc., where Srila Prabhupad specifically makes statements to this effect. I refuse to take second hand information about Srila Prabhupad.

[Guest guest]

 

Guest: Its so embarassing to see that you guys discuss these things in Public.

 

And whats wrong in having a daughters? Is your sect againast females or what?

 

 

 

Yes, it is embarassing. I guess that some among us are prejudiced against females. Maybe I just need to find other company. Our philosophy is not against females, and many of our best members are women. This is a dopey thread.

 

Thanks, not-so-Stonehearted-at-all! Really, how long must we remain hung-up on relatively irrelevant details, mired in religious superstitions, etc., instead of faithfully and wholeheartedly embracing the gloriously pure ESSENCE that Lord Sri Krsna-Caitanya is freely offering to one-and-all, striving for the one and only worthwhile goal of becoming pure devotees each in our own right.

 

Every one of us is the expression of the most basic conception of simultaneously-one-and-different and destined to realize the significance of our own individuality, along with the oneness between us. Yes, I too know Pritu, only too well. "Dopey thread" indeed, so let's move on and have the courage to believe that what's to come will be better than we could ever imagine, rather than carrying forward previous systems with their already proven negative consequences.

[krsna]

Dear Prabhus,

PAMHO

AGTSP

Sorry for this dopey thread,

thought it could be fodder for a good discussion here,

instead we elicited the prejudice,small-mindedness and bigotry

of closed minds .

My sincerest apologies,

dopey threader

[stonehearted]

You're probably ritght to say that this could have been a good topic, but I find such emphasis on bodily desgnations, especially by someone with a position such as his, infuriating. I apologize if I over-reacted.

[Guest guest]

Better to over-react than not at all. Harmony solely based on blind subservience comes at far too great a cost. Strong individuals maintaining power by stifling dissent and intimidating those not yet secure in themselves is what really "infuriates" me. It's at the very least a misuse of power and position, weakening the entire structure. Our submission has to come from a much deeper level of personal realization and ultimately Love of God.

[krsna]

 

gHari archives:

 

Re: Dharmic Sex

12/21/01

 

 

 

During Ratha Yatra last year, a young female stranger started walking beside me, just behind Lord Baladeva's cart. I think I may have been chanting japa as I walked.

Surprisingly she began to talk to me asking "What is this about?". I told her that God is coming to visit the people. "Are there any rules in your religion"? I said, "No; just learn to love God".

 

"What is their position on homosexuality"?

I said we only have sex for procreation. "Isn't that difficult?", she replied a little bewildered. "No, it comes naturally when you start to identify with that part of you that lives forever, the soul".

 

She knew it was the truth. She humbled out into a quiet "Thank you" and drifted back into Lord Jagannatha's admirers.

 

While this was likely a unique time and circumstance conversation for a very special fortunate young girl, still I think we can see even the masters preaching in accordance with the requirements of time and circumstance.

 

I would recommend to anyone that in this case, they should just trust the doctor. He knows the source of our bondage and attachment to the material whirlpool; and he knows what we must do and not do to become free from our fixation with material 'pleasure'.

 

He takes the box away from the child so it can discover that the toy is a lot more fun to play with than the box that it came in.

 

gHari