Ideal Family Life?

ancient_paztriot · May 30, 2004

SB 5.14.3

My dear King, family members in this material world go under the names of wife and children, but actually they behave like tigers and jackals. A herdsman tries to protect his sheep to the best of his ability, but the tigers and foxes take them away by force. Similarly, although a miserly man wants to guard his money very carefully, his family members take away all his assets forcibly, even though he is very vigilant.

PURPORT

One Hindi poet has sung: din ka dakini rat ka baghini palak palak rahu cuse. During the daytime, the wife is compared to a witch, and at night she is compared to a tigress. Her only business is sucking the blood of her husband both day and night. During the day there are household expenditures, and the money earned by the husband at the cost of his blood is taken away. At night, due to sex pleasure, the husband discharges blood in the form of semen. In this way he is bled by his wife both day and night, yet he is so crazy that he very carefully maintains her. Similarly, the children are also like tigers, jackals and foxes. As tigers, jackals and foxes take away lambs despite the herdsman’s vigilant protection, children take away the father’s money, although the father supervises the money himself. Thus family members may be called wives and children, but actually they are plunderers.

SB 5.14.4

Every year the plowman plows over his grain field, completely uprooting all weeds. Nonetheless, the seeds lie there and, not being completely burned, again come up with the plants sown in the field. Even after being plowed under, the weeds come up densely. Similarly, the grhastha-asrama [family life] is a field of fruitive activity. Unless the desire to enjoy family life is completely burned out, it grows up again and again. Even though camphor may be removed from a pot, the pot nonetheless retains the aroma of camphor. As long as the seeds of desire are not destroyed, fruitive activities are not destroyed.

PURPORT

Unless one’s desires are completely transferred to the service of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, the desire for family life continues. even after one has taken sannyasa. Sometimes in our society, ISKCON. a person out of sentiment may take sannyasa, but because his desires are not burned completely, he again takes to family life, even at the risk of losing his prestige and disgracing his good name. These strong desires can be burned out completely when one fully engages in the service of the Lord in devotional service.

SB 5.14.5

Sometimes the conditioned soul in household life, being attached to material wealth and possessions, is disturbed by gadflies and mosquitoes, and sometimes locusts, birds of prey and rats give him trouble. Nonetheless, he still wanders down the path of material existence. Due to ignorance he becomes lusty and engages in fruitive activity. Because his mind is absorbed in these activities, he sees the material world as permanent, although it is temporary like a phantasmagoria, a house in the sky.

PURPORT

The following song is sung by Narottama dasa thakura:

ahankare matta hana, nitai-. pasariya,

asatyere satya kari mani

Due to forgetting the lotus feet of Lord Nityananda and being puffed up by material possessions, wealth and opulence, one thinks the false, temporary material world to be an actual fact. This is the material disease. The living entity is eternal and blissful, but despite miserable material conditions, he thinks the material world to be real and factual due to his ignorance.

SB 5.14.6

There are two worlds—the spiritual and the material. The material world is false like a mirage in the desert. In the desert, animals think they see water, but actually there is none. Similarly, those who are animalistic try to find peace within the desert of material life. It is repeatedly said in different sastras that there is no pleasure in this material world. Furthermore, even if we agree to live without pleasure, we are not allowed to do so. In Bhagavad-gita, Lord Krsna says that the material world is not only full of miseries (duhkhalayam) but also temporary (asasvatam). Even if we want to live here amid miseries, material nature will not allow us to do so. It will oblige us to change bodies and enter another atmosphere full of miserable conditions.

SB 5.14.7

Sometimes the living entity is interested in the yellow stool known as gold and runs after it. That gold is the source of material opulence and envy, and it can enable one to afford illicit sex, gambling, meat-eating and intoxication. Those whose minds are overcome by the mode of passion are attracted by the color of gold, just as a man suffering from cold in the forest runs after a phosphorescent light in a marshy land, considering it to be fire.

PURPORT

Pariksit Maharaja told Kali-yuga to leave his kingdom immediately and reside in four places: brothels, liquor shops, slaughterhouses and gambling casinos. However, Kali-yuga requested him to give him only one place where these four places are included, and Pariksit Maharaja gave him the place where gold is stored. Gold encompasses the four principles of sin, and therefore, according to spiritual life, gold should be avoided as far as possible. If there is gold, there is certainly illicit sex, meat-eating, gambling and intoxication. Because people in the Western world have a great deal of gold, they are victims of these four sins. The color of gold is very glittering, and a materialistic person becomes very much attracted by its yellow color. However, this gold is actually a type of stool. A person with a bad liver generally passes yellow stool. The color of this stool attracts a materialistic person, just as the will-o’-the-wisp attracts one who needs heat.

SB 5.14.8

Sometimes the conditioned soul is absorbed in finding residential quarters or apartments and getting a supply of water and riches to maintain his body. Absorbed in acquiring a variety of necessities, he forgets everything and perpetually runs around the forest of material existence.

PURPORT

As originally mentioned, a poor man belonging to the mercantile community goes to the forest to get some cheap goods to bring back to the city to sell at a profit. He is so absorbed in the thought of maintaining body and soul together that he forgets his original relationship with Krsna and seeks only the bodily comforts. Thus material activities are the conditioned soul’s only engagement. Not knowing the aim of life, the materialist perpetually wanders in material existence, struggling to get the necessities of life. Not understanding the aim of life, even though he acquires sufficient necessities, he manufactures artificial necessities and thus becomes more and more entangled. He creates a mental situation whereby he needs greater and greater comforts. The materialist does not know the secret of nature’s ways. As confirmed in Bhagavad-gita (3.27):

prakrteh kriyamanani

gunaih karmani sarvasah

ahankara-vimudhatma

kartaham iti manyate

“The bewildered spirit soul, under the influence of the three modes of material nature, thinks himself to be the doer of activities which are in actuality carried out by nature.” Due to lusty desire, the living entity creates a certain mental situation whereby he wants to enjoy this material world. He thus becomes entangled, enters different bodies and suffers in them.

SB 5.14.9

Sometimes, as if blinded by the dust of a whirlwind, the conditioned soul sees the beauty of the opposite sex, which is called pramada. Being thus bewildered, he is raised upon the lap of a woman, and at that time his good senses are overcome by the force of passion. He thus becomes almost blind with lusty desire and disobeys the rules and regulations governing sex life. He does not know that his disobedience is witnessed by different demigods, and he enjoys illicit sex in the dead of night, not seeing the future punishment awaiting him.

PURPORT

In Bhagavad-gita (7.11) it is said: dharmaviruddho bhutesu kamo ’smi bharatarsabha. Sex is allowed only for the begetting of children, not for enjoyment. One can indulge in sex to beget a good child for the benefit of the family, society and world. Otherwise, sex is against the rules and regulations of religious life. A materialistic person does not believe that everything is managed in nature, and he does not know that if one does something wrong, he is witnessed by different demigods. A person enjoys illicit sex, and due to his blind, lusty desire. he thinks that no one can see him, but this illicit sex is thoroughly observed by the agents of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Therefore the person is punished in so many ways. presently in Kali-yuga there are many pregnancies due to illicit sex, and sometimes abortions ensue. These sinful activities are witnessed by the agents of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, and a man and woman who create such a situation are punished in the future by the stringent laws of material nature (daivi hy esa guna-mayi mama maya duratyaya). Illicit sex is never excused, and those who indulge in it are punished life after life. As confirmed in Bhagavad-gita (16.20):

asurim yonim apanna

mudha janmani janmani

mam aprapyaiva kaunteya

tato yanty adhamam gatim

“Attaining repeated birth among the species of demoniac life, such persons can never approach Me. Gradually they sink down to the most abominable type of existence.”

The Supreme Personality of Godhead does not allow anyone to act against the stringent laws of material nature; therefore illicit sex is punished life after life. Illicit sex creates pregnancies, and these unwanted pregnancies lead to abortion. Those involved become implicated in these sins, so much so that they are punished in the same way the next life. Thus in the next life they also enter the womb of a mother and are killed in the same way. All these things can be avoided by remaining on the transcendental platform of Krsna consciousness. In this way one does not commit sinful activity. Illicit sex is the most prominent sin due to lusty desire. When one associates with the mode of passion, he is implicated in suffering life after life.

SB 5.14.10

The conditioned soul sometimes personally appreciates the futility of sense enjoyment in the material world, and he sometimes considers material enjoyment to be full of miseries. However, due to his strong bodily conception, his memory is destroyed, and again and again he runs after material enjoyment, just as an animal runs after a mirage in the desert.

PURPORT

The main disease in material life is the bodily conception. Being baffled again and again in material activity, the conditioned soul temporarily thinks of the futility of material enjoyment, but he again tries the same thing. By the association of devotees, a person may become convinced of the material futility, but he cannot give up his engagement, although he is very eager to return home, back to Godhead. Under these circumstances, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, who is situated in everyone’s heart, compassionately takes away all the material possessions of such a devotee. As stated in srimad-Bhagavatam (10.88.8): yasyaham anugrhnami harisye tad-dhanam sanaih. Lord Krsna says that He takes everything away from the devotee whom He especially favors when that devotee is overly attached to material possessions. When everything is taken away, the devotee feels helpless and frustrated in society, friendship and love. He feels that his family does not care for him any longer, and he therefore completely surrenders unto the lotus feet of the Supreme Lord. This is a special favor granted by the Lord to a devotee who cannot fully surrender to the Lord due to a strong bodily conception. As explained in Caitanya-caritamrta (Madhya 22.39): ami—vijna, ei murkhe ‘visaya’ kene diba. The Lord understands the devotee who hesitates to engage in the Lord’s service, not knowing whether he should again try to revive his material life. After repeated attempts and failures, he fully surrenders to the lotus feet of the Lord. The Lord then gives him directions, and, attaining happiness, he forgets all material engagement.

SB 5.14.11

Sometimes the conditioned soul is very aggrieved by the chastisement of his enemies and government servants, who use harsh words against him directly or indirectly. At that time his heart and ears become very saddened. Such chastisement may be compared to the sounds of owls and crickets.

PURPORT

There are different types of enemies within this material world. The government chastises one due to not paying income taxes. Such criticism, direct or indirect, saddens one, and sometimes the conditioned soul tries to counteract that chastisement. Unfortunately, he cannot do anything.

SB 5.14.12

Due to his pious activities in previous lives, the conditioned soul attains material facilities in this life, but when they are finished, he takes shelter of wealth and riches, which cannot help him in this life or the next. Because of this, he approaches the living dead who possess these things. Such people are compared to impure trees, creepers and poisonous wells.

PURPORT

The wealth and riches acquired through previous pious activities should not be misused for sense gratification. Enjoying them for sense gratification is like enjoying the fruits of a poisonous tree. Such activities will not help the conditioned soul in any way, neither in this life nor the next. However, if one engages his possessions in the service of the Lord under the guidance of a proper spiritual master. he will attain happiness both in this life and the next. Unless he does so, he eats a forbidden apple and thereby loses his paradise. Lord sri Krsna therefore advises that one’s possessions should be given unto Him.

yat karosi yad asnasi

yaj juhosi dadasi yat

yat tapasyasi kaunteya

tat kurusva mad-arpanam

“O son of Kunti, all that you do, all that you eat, all that you offer and give away, as well as all austerities that you may perform, should be done as an offering unto Me.” (Bg. 9.27) Material wealth and opulence attained through previous pious activities can be fully utilized for one’s benefit in this life and the next if one is Krsna conscious. One should not try to possess more than he needs for the bare necessities. If one gets more than is needed, the surplus should be fully engaged in the Lord’s service. That will make the conditioned soul, the world and Krsna happy, and this is the aim of life.

SB 5.14.13

Sometimes, to mitigate distresses in this forest of the material world, the conditioned soul receives cheap blessings from atheists. He then loses all intelligence in their association. This is exactly like jumping in a shallow river. As a result one simply breaks his head. He is not able to mitigate his sufferings from the heat, and in both ways he suffers. The misguided conditioned soul also approaches so-called sadhus and svamis who preach against the principles of the Vedas. He does not receive benefit from them, either in the present or in the future.

PURPORT

Cheaters are always there to manufacture their own way of spiritual realization. To get some material benefit, the conditioned soul approaches these pseudo sannyasis and yogis for cheap blessings, but he does not receive any benefit from them, either spiritual or material. In this age there are many cheaters who show some jugglery and magic. They even create gold to amaze their followers, and their followers accept them as God. This type of cheating is very prominent in Kali-yuga. Visvanatha Cakravarti thakura describes the real guru in this way.

samsara-davanala-lidha-loka-

tranaya karunya-ghanaghanatvam

praptasya kalyana-gunarnavasya

vande guroh sri-caranaravindam **

One should approach a guru who can extinguish the blazing fire of this material world, the struggle for existence. people want to be cheated. and therefore they go to yogis and svamis who play tricks, but tricks do not mitigate the miseries of material life. If being able to manufacture gold is a criterion for becoming God, then why not accept Krsna, the proprietor of the entire universe, wherein there are countless tons of gold? As mentioned before, the color of gold is compared to the will-O’-the-wisp or yellow stool; therefore one should not be allured by gold-manufacturing gurus but should sincerely approach a devotee like Jada Bharata. Jada Bharata instructed Rahugana Maharaja so well that the King was relieved from the bodily conception. One cannot become happy by accepting a false guru. A guru should be accepted as advised in srimad-Bhagavatam (11.3.21). Tasmad gurum prapadyeta jijnasuh sreya uttamam: One should approach a bona fide guru to inquire about the highest benefit of life. Such a guru is described as follows: sabde pare ca nisnatam. Such a guru does not manufacture gold or juggle words. He is well versed in the conclusions of Vedic knowledge (vedais ca sarvair aham eva vedyah [bg. 15.15]). He is freed from all material contamination and is fully engaged in Krsna’s service. If one is able to obtain the dust of the lotus feet of such a guru, his life becomes successful. Otherwise he is baffled both in this life and in the next.

SB 5.14.14

In this material world, when the conditioned soul cannot arrange for his own maintenance, despite exploiting others, he tries to exploit his own father or son, taking away that relative’s possessions, although they may be very insignificant. If he cannot acquire things from his father, son or other relatives, he is prepared to give them all kinds of trouble.

PURPORT

Once we actually saw a distressed man steal ornaments from his daughter just to maintain himself. As the English proverb goes, necessity knows no law. When a conditioned soul needs something, he forgets his relationship with his relatives and exploits his own father or son. We also receive information from srimad-Bhagavatam that in this age of Kali the time is quickly approaching when a relative will kill another relative for a small farthing. Without Krsna consciousness, people will deteriorate further and further into a hellish condition wherein they will perform abominable acts.

SB 5.14.15

In this world, family life is exactly like a blazing fire in the forest. There is not the least happiness, and gradually one becomes more and more implicated in unhappiness. In household life, there is nothing favorable for perpetual happiness. Being implicated in home life, the conditioned soul is burned by the fire of lamentation. Sometimes he condemns himself as being very unfortunate, and sometimes he claims that he suffers because he performed no pious activities in his previous life.

PURPORT

In the Gurv-astaka, srila Visvanatha Cakravarti thakura has sung:

samsara-davanala-lidha-loka-

tranaya karunya-ghanaghanatvam **

A life in this material world is exactly like a blazing forest fire. No one goes to set fire to the forest, yet the fire takes place. Similarly. everyone wants to be happy in the material world, but the miserable conditions of material life simply increase. Sometimes a person caught in the blazing fire of material existence condemns himself, but due to his bodily conception he cannot get out of the entanglement, and thus he suffers more and more.