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Are you too much of a macho man to petition the Lord and simply weep ?

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krsna

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8.15

suspasta-dainyenatma-vijnaptih -

na ninditam karma tad asti loke

sahasraso yan na maya vyadhayi

so 'ham vipakavasare mukunda

krandami sampraty agatis tavagre

Sri Yamunacaryasya

 

Heartfelt petition in stark humility -

 

"O Mukunda,

there is no offensive activity in this world that I have not performed thousands of times.

Now, finally,

I have no alternative but to simply weep before You."

 

Sri Yamunacarya

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Will lord krsna forgive me even if I am after a sin? Will he let me have this sin or will he push me away from it and make me avoid it?

 

 

Yes he forgives sin. But to perform sin expecting that Krsna will just forgive it is in itself a sin and an offense to the holy name. If we plan this way in some recess of our mind and become aware of it we should beg krsna to intervene and help us lose taste for the sinful activity before we do it.

 

Well he let's us have our desires. That's how we all got into this material mess in the first place. If He helps us avoid it then that is really His mercy. But the real mercy is to have our hearts cleansed of all false desires then no sins can take hold.

 

For every sin there is a reaction. but who is to say that for an aspiring devotee Krsna may show His mercy by increasing the reaction ten fold. We can't cheat krsna.

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Vijnapti,

spiritual request

 

kabe ha'be bolo se-dina amar

(amar) aparadha ghuci', suddha name ruci,

krpa-bale ha'be hrdoye sancar

 

trnadhika hina, kabe nije mani',

sahisnuta-guna hrdoyete ani'

sakale manada, apani amani,

ho'ye aswadibo nama-rasa-sar

 

dhana jana ara, kobita-sundari,

bolibo na cahi deho-sukha-kari

janme-janme dao, ohe gaurahari!

ahaituki bhakti carane tomar

 

(kabe) korite sri-krsna- nama uccarana,

pulakita deho gadgada bacana

baibarnya-bepathu ha'be sanghatana,

nirantara netre ba'be asru-dhar

 

kabe navadwipe, suradhuni-tate,

gaura-nityananda boli' niskapate

naciya gaiya, beraibo chute,

batulera praya chariya bicar

 

kabe nityananda, more kori'doya,

charaibe mora visayera maya

diya more nija- caranera chaya,

namera hatete dibe adhikar

 

kinibo, lutibo, hari-nama-rasa,

nama-rase mati' hoibo bibasa

rasera rasika- carana parasa,

koriya mojibo rase anibar

 

Kabe jibe doya, hoibe udoya,

nija-sukha bhuli' sudina-hrdoya

bhakativinoda, koriya binoya,

sri-ajna-tahala koribe pracar

 

Translation

 

When, oh when will that day be mine?

When my offenses ceasing,

taste for the name increasing,

when in my heart will your mercy shine,

when, oh when will that day be mine

 

Lower than a blade of grass,

more tolerant than a tree.

When will my mind attain this quality?

Respectful to all,

not expecting their honor,

then shall I taste the name's nectar sublime.

When, oh when will that day be mine?

 

Great wealth or followers, feminine beauty,

I won't care for them or the comforts of my body.

Birth after birth give me,

Oh Lord Caitanya,

causeless devotion to Your feet divine,

when, oh when will that day be mine?

 

When will I utter Krsna,Krsna, Krsna,

with words choked up and shivering body?

When will I be trembling all over,

lose bodily color,

tears pouring from my eyes,

When, oh when will that day be mine?

 

When in Navadvipa along the Ganges bank,

shouting 'Gaura-Nityananda' as a surrendered soul, dancing, chanting, running everywhere,

when will I become half mad of mind?

When, oh when will that day be mine?

 

When will Lord Nityananda show mercy upon me,

when will I reject the world of Maya:

Bestow unto me the shade of Your lotus feet,

let the right to preach the name be mine.

When, oh when will that day be mine?

 

I will beg, borrow, or steal the nectar of the name.

By the name's effect I will feel paralyzed.

Oh! Enjoyer of the nectar of the name,

When will I touch your lotus feet

till the end of time?

When, oh when will that day be mine?

 

When kindness to all beings will be appearing,

with free heart forget myself comforting,

Bhaktivinoda in all humility prays,

"Now I will set out to preach Your order sublime."

When, oh when will that day be mine?

 

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