Why does shiva not kill me?

[Guest guest]

I feel like I lost my will to live, I do not want to be in this material world anymore, I just want to go back to godhead, why will krsna not full fill my only wish and kill me? Why do I have to continue to suffer like this?

 

 

[Pankaja_Dasa]

 

whats the problem?

 

tell Uncle Pankaja.

 

Did a girl break your heart. Somebody took your last Rasgulla?

 

Joking.

 

Get it all out. This forum is for chatting about problems.

 

Heading .. 'Spiritual Problems'

[Guest guest]

Is not really a girl problem or any of that drama. Is just I lost my will to live, literally. I dont see the point on doing the same routine of sleeping waking up and going through the same old everyday things. I have so much pressure on my head, I have court dates, drug tests (all i did was smoke a littel ganja, but now I havent smoked for a good 1 and half week). My family is a big mess, my sisster moved out because my dad is a alcholic, my grandma gets . from my dad everyday, and all I do is sit here and waste away, day after day. Seems like everyone has become shallow, and just is after the cute or hot looking guy. I can't even find a job, because noone would hire someone like me. I called the L.A. temple to ask if there is a room where I can stay at for a while, all I got was "this is not a hotel". I make promises I can't keep, and what I usualy say, are mostlee lies to impress girls, of course it never worked out. I have posted here couple of times before, like the MAD DEVOTIE STORY, where I put my art with a story I made up, but now I lost all inspartion to draw. My mind has become dull, and I can't even mediate for 3 seconds without thinking, why is this have to be this way. I pray to brahama, vishinu and shiva everyday in the shower, and I Also pray to krsna everyday. But I am just fooling myself because all I ever read about hinduism is the Baghvad gita, I havent even tried to read the veda because I get distracted fast. Well it seems like I am here at the bottom, and dug myself a hole to deep to be dugged out. I just wish and pray that Shiva will finally come and end this unimportant life, I wont be a scientist, or a next einstein, and if im gonne, I wont be missed by to many people, and i be forgot in a few weeks. So why not just end it? Why do I have to continue to suffer this daily routine of dellusion myself? Well this is my opion.

[Guest guest]

Haribol, friend. Life is not what you mistake it to be. It cannot be ended in any way, so a quick desire will not solve anything.

 

The problems are the mind that has no guidance from the intelligence. Only the mind has stress, and if you hang in there, ill give you a good thinng to think about that gets rid of depression as well as anxiety.

 

This forum is filled with folks just like yourself, so you need not feel so alone. A couple weeks ago, a lot of us came out of the closet to reveal depression and anxiety. It started out to be a criticism session against a senior peer of the Vaisnava community, but when we all started discussing his problem, we discovered we all have the same malady, stress mixed with medical depression and acute anxiety syndromes. We discussed drugs, shrinks (quacks and helpful medical practitioners, etc). So wait awhile and read here, and all us nuts will soon join in to show you you are not alone, your disgust with life in general and this life in particular is not a solitary confinement, that devotees help each other in times of need.

 

Hare Krsna, ys, mahaksadasa

[Pankaja_Dasa]

 

 

Thankyou prabhuji. This is my insigificant reply.

 

advice

1st don't pray to Lord Siva for ANY material benediction. Ask ONLY for Bhakti {anything to do with Bhakti --mostly assocation of devotees}

 

2nd ask Krishna to help you out. Krishna provides ULTIMATE benediction, He will help sort your problems out left/right/center. Could be slow but its a permenant solution. Its not temporary.

 

3rd Being positive is difficult. Negative thoughts will flood your mind. Like a Water Dam thats broken. The mind is clever it knows your weakness {so does Maya}.

 

4th and lastly. You need positive influence in your life. Somebody who is positive. Who can inspire you. That person would ideally {meaning IDEAL} would be devotee of KRISHNA.

 

{off the record} Phone LA Temple again but don't sound all depressed. Ask again.

 

 

[gHari]

I'm like totally bored. Why doesn't Britney Spears marry me and let me live with her?

 

 

[Guest guest]

Haribol. Here is my key for getting rid of depression and anxiety leaving only stress which spurs one on in a positive way.

 

First, from Srila Bhaktivinode, he sings "Forget the past, it sleeps. And never the future dream at all, but live in times that are with thee, and progress we will call."

 

From this most wise (if not the totality of wisest) saying, the cure of the horrible mental illnesses caused by stress can be overcome. Stress is not bad, it is good, according to all the great psychologists. The patrons of stress is what needs to be drugged, therapy (if you type the word therapist, and accidental space - the rapist - is a freudian slip). These patrons are depression and anxiety.

 

Depression can be all summed up by stating that we are dwelling in our past, full of lamentation, full of regret about the paths not taken, etc. Get over it. The "skeletons in the closet" are so named to signify that they are all DEAD. So we take all our past and shrug with a loud "OH well", the depression caused by dwelling on unchangable events goes away. Plus the fact that we only have this life to consider skeletons with. Me, Im a murderer worse than Saddam, Im a saint holier than gandhi, now Im me. I forgot the murders because death was so traumatic, so my nervous breakdown can accomplish the same thing. All glories to nervous breakdowns, arjuna himself had one on the chariot just as he was beginning the most glorious day of his ksatriya life.

 

Anxiety is unnecessary anticipation of the future that will never come. No one has ever seen the future before arriving there, and even the great prophets allow for free will to provide a dymamic alteration of the so-called future they view. So, we can still keep our jobs and not cancel the food-stamp appointment, but forget about what we are going to be when we grow up. The answer is "old, diseased, and dead", so why bother with it.

 

So, if we understand the progress that is spoken of by His Divine Grace Srila Bhaktivinode Thakura, we can immediately perform Bhakti yoga joyously.

 

As far as LA temple goes, hide behind the laundrymat, sleep there, but attend the morning services. Offer to clean up after morning prasadam. Devotional service means "what can I do for you sweet Krsna?", not "here I am, whatta you gonna do for me, god?" Too kennedyesque? Maybe, but it is a fact. We approach God from the depths of defeat, like Arjuna. No one who is winning can surrender to anything or anyone. The vedic histories are full of those defeated personalities that are the true heroes of the world, not the devils who can only think of stairways to heaven and towers of babel to dominate god with.

 

ye-ah, sunday sermon delivered by mahaksadasa, hare krsna, ys in cooperation.

[Guest guest]

Living with Britney Spears isn't all its cut out to be. First of all you are constantly intimidated that you can't measure up to her fame. Secondly, you are never sure if you are actually good looking enough to keep her attention for the long haul. Believe me there is a whole other list of reasons why its not as good as it would seem on the television.

[Guest guest]

Shiva does not kill you because He wants you to experience the real spirituality and get matured so that you will be able to chant Krishna's name better with concentration.

 

I provided accomodation to an american guy like you for just three days because he was also depressed and gave up job and he had a bitter past history of drug, women, abuse from step father etc etc..This guy is a stranger to me and I am from India for my studies here. I met him in hindu temple where he introduced himself to me while I was talking to the priest and he said he wanted to discuss Gita. But within two days he called me to ask for accomodation and I took the risk of helping him for one reason just becasue he was praying to God. So with my faith on Lord Narayana I told him to come home, yet I was cautious since he is stranger. I did not know his history, but next day morning he told me all about himself and asked me to guide him properly in spirituality so that he can have a good life with devotion to Lord. After discussing with the temple priest, I found that there is one Hare Krishna temple where he can join as a disciple to the person and so I guided him there. While staying at my home itself I discussed lots of Gita what I have understood in all these years.

 

I put him with an Hare Krishna devotee (an american) who has been practicing siincerely for the past 25 years. He is happy there although he found little boring or actually more boring the way of worship. I told him Krishna is Ultimate and so be this man's disciple and learn and get disciplined first.

 

So he decided to stay with him and now go with him to sell books and help him with whatever this guy can. Yet he finds something boring. I told him that its all in the way we see with our eyes, because although I am brought up in Hindu culture in India, In India we know that Shree Hari is Supreme and yet we respect and worship the demiGods too sincerely and we follow the Vedic way of worship. Yet, I felt very comfortable in the Hare Krishna mode of worship also, because I am already aware everything is Krishna, but for this american guy he found the monotony and his guru is not prepared to accept it. I understood that what his guru is trying to teach is right, but at the same time why it is difficult for the new comer to accept or follow rigorosly is, the sudden jump from ground level to everest height.

For me as a born Hindu, it was not difficult or different to chant Krishna and the mode of worship by only chanting that all the time, while this guy I understood that he is attracted to the detailed mode of vedic worship, which I noticed from his absense in the Krishna temple when I went there, but from there when I went to hindu temple he was quite happy, talking with people and trying to learn..

 

So for some people it is difficult to accept or follow instantaneously to a higher level and its nothing wrong to explore different levels and reach the higher level. I spoke to his guru and his hare krishna guru agreed and although initially he did not like this guy visiting hindu temple, then later he also agreed when I explained to him...

 

I would suggest you, that you visit different places and meet different people and see different things and slowly go ahead in your spiritual development..Sometimes monotony may be difficult to practice, but mixing with different people will give you different perception to spirituality and anyway one day you have to land up chanting Krishna's name finally..

 

California has good number of temples..mix with people and fiind out if you can do some temple work so that you also have job, and also be with people and since you are in a sacred place, you will be prevented from your bad habits..

 

World is not something to move away, and one can realise God and be with Him and reach Him finally being in this world. It only needs our determination and perseverance.

 

Regards

Raghavan

[Vanguard]

If the first "guest" is still reading this, and needs help, there is one passage in a book taken from recordings of Srila Bhakti Raksaka Sridhar Maharaj, that helped me when I was feeling very hard hit by the material energy. In a way, I post this more for myself than anyone, but I'm sure this will help "guest" and everyone else:

 

------

 

According to the result of our karma we shall be placed in a particular environment, and we must start our spiritual life from wherever we are placed; we must begin our work of conquering all those samskaras (mundane tendencies) that comprise the mental encasement we are living in.

 

Tat te 'nukampam susamiksamanah. We should not only live in our present position without complaint, but moreover, we shall have to consider it as really necessary for our upliftment. In this way, we have to accept whatever adversities that come to us as the Grace of the Lord. We must cope.

 

With this positive angle of vision of goodness we must think:

 

"This is my real necessity. There is no error in the calculation of the Lord. This test has been extended to me for my benefit. To stand, to face and cross this opposition is my chance to have my progress in life. This test has been given by Krsna to facilitate my progressive life." In the Bhagavatam we are advised to face all adverse circumstances in such an optimistic way. Then very easily and swiftly, we shall cross these walls of misunderstanding, this maya, and we will be liberated, and more -- we will have participation in Krsna consciousness, the life of dedication.

 

Tat te 'nukampam susamiksamano bhunjana evatmakrtam vipakam:

 

"Whatever undesirable I find here is the result of my previous karma, and by the good will of the Supreme, that previous karma is going to be finished. I will be relieved. I will be made fit for higher service to Him, so this has come."

 

That is the advice in Srimad Bhagavatam. Don't quarrel with the environment. Try to be adjusted with it; correct your own ego. Everything is alright.

 

Your ego is demanding some sort of comfort from the environment. That is the cause of this hitch. There's no hitch in the outside, no ailment; but within, your ego creates the problem. That false ego should be dissolved, and the liquid nectar will flow and place you within the highest plane, the plane where there is no complaint. The smooth movement, affectionate movement of the most fundamental plane: your soul will find yourself standing and walking in that plane. And the false friends -- the circumstances we think to be friends but which are really all false -- those false friends will be withdrawn.

 

That is nirguna, the causeless flow of welfare, most fundamental in the Absolute Plane. That is Bhakti proper. Bhakti means seva, service -- Service Divine. That is a causeless wave. The deepest wave, the wave of the deepest plane. That is causeless and that is irresistable. THat means no beginning, no end.Eternal flow. And only my soul can take a stand in that plane and move in harmony with that plane.

 

Katha ganam natyam gamanam. In Sri Brahma Samhita it is mentioned, "All the talks there are as sweet as song; all the movements there are as sweet as dancing." In this way, everything is sweet. That is the harmonious movement plane. In Vrindavan. We have to go back to that home.

 

We have come out with the spirit of colonization in a foreign land, with the bad object of exploitation. For the purpose of exploitation we have come to colonize in this material world, and as a reaction we suffer. All the material coverings must be eliminated, and our person within, the finest ego, must emerge. Within this gross mischievous ego, there is the finer ego, soul. That soul is a child of the higher plane.

 

Srila BR Sridhar Maharaj (text taken from "Inner Fulfillment" pages 22-26)