Tell the Lord your shame (you ass of a jiva) and take shelter of Prabhu Nityananda !

[krsna]

 

Saranagati

by Thakur Bhaktivinode

(the first English translation, published in The Harmonist during the 1930's)

 

I.

1. Sree Krishna Chaitanya, the Supreme Lord,

out of Divine Pity for jiva,

With His Own Associates and His Own Abode descending

 

2. The Love of God that can only be obtained with the utmost

difficulty to give freely away,

Teaches to take refuge in Him; resignation that is the very

life of the devotee.

 

3. Lowliness is the spirit, dedication of self, loving

acceptance of Him as Protector,

Cherishing faith that Krishna will surely protect,

 

4. Assenting to only acts that are conducive to devotion,

Promising to renounce conduct that is adverse to it -

 

5. In these sixfold ways, whoever takes refuge in Him,

His prayer reaches the ears of the Gracious Child

of Nanda.

 

6. At the feet of Rupa and Sanatana, holding the straw

between the teeth,

Falls Bhaktivinode clasping both the feet with his hands,

 

7. Crying all the while as he says: 'I am the vilest I do realise,

Teach thou me resignation and make me the worthiest.'

 

II

1. Forgetting thyself, coming into this world,

Having suffered manifold pain,

At Thy Feet have I come,

Thee I shall tell my sorrows:

 

2. In mother's womb while I lay

in the deadly fetters of bondage,

For once, Oh Lord, showing Thyself to me

Didst Thou abandon Thy poor servant,

 

3. Then thought I: "after I have birth,

I shall worship Thee,"

I was born but fallen into the meshes of Maya

There was not a particle of knowledge.

 

4. A fondled child in the lap of kindred,

Laughingly I passed the time.

The affection of the father and other made me forget,

This world did taste sweet.

 

5. By slow degrees day by day, growing up as a boy

With the other boys did I play.

In a few more days the power of understanding

was aroused,

I conned my lessons night and day.

 

6. In the pride of learning I journeyed to many a place,

Earning wealth,

Supporting Kindred with all my heart,

Hari, Thee I forgot.

 

7. Now in old age Bhakitivinode,

Crying feels so sad,

Not worshipping Thee the days passed in vain,

What help is there now ?

 

III

1. In pleasures of learning I spent the time

in highest confidence;

I never served Thy Feet;

Thou art the Refuge now.

 

2. As intently my studies I pursued Hope increased;

Knowledge was the path, I thought.

The hope was unfulfilled The Knowledge proved weak

That knowledge was ignorance, I now know.

 

3. All worldly knowledge Is treasure of Maya.

Thy service it obstructs;

Breeding attachment for this transitory world

It makes an ass of jiva.

 

4. Turned such an ass, The load of the world

On my back I carried long;

In old age, For want of power to enjoy;

Nothing now pleases me.

 

5. Life is become Misery now;

The knowledge has proved untrue;

The torment of untruth Has grown intolerable;

The learning is now the pointed shaft.

 

6. Except Thy Feet there is no other treasure

in the world;

Bhaktivinode, Quitting his hold of worldly knowledge

Now only values Thy Feet.

 

IV

1. When in youth for earning money

I felt a bound-less ambition,

By rites of religion my help-mate's hand

I did espouse;

 

2. Setting up a home in her company

My time long I spent,

Many a son and daughter were born,

My spirit was broken utterly.

 

3. The burden of family increased day by day;

Under its weight I was forced to halt.

Old age arriving beleagured me,

My mind was always disturbed;

 

4. Worried by disease, racked by cares,

My heart scared by every want,

Seeing no way in utter darkness

I am now oppressed with fear.

 

5. The world's strong current does not abate,

The terror of death is nigh:

After finishing worldly duties I shall worship Thee.

That hope is in vain.

 

6. "Now herken, Oh Lord, I am utterly helpless",

Bhaktivinode says,

"Without Thy mercy all is despair,

I now crave the shelter of Thy feet".

 

V

1. My life

Is ever given to sin,

In it there is not a particle of good;

Torment to others

Much have I caused;

I have pained all jivas.

 

2. For my own pleasure

I was never afraid of sinning,

Selfish and devoid of pity as I am.

Dejected by happiness of others,

Always untruthful,

The misery of others has been my delight.

 

3. Endless are the selfish desires

That fill my breast

To anger and insolence I am so prone,

Ever drunk with vanity,

Bewitched by worldliness,

I wear malice and pride as cherished ornaments.

 

4. Ruined by sleep and idleness,

Abstaining from all good works,

I am ever most zealous in evil deeds.

For the sake of worldy fame.

An adept in the practice of duplicity,

I covetous victim of greed am I.

 

5. Even a sinner,

Shunned by all the good,

And a constant offender, I am.

Void of all good work,

Always evilly disposed,

And poisoned with various misery.

 

6. Now in old age,

Bereft of all help,

Humbled and hoping naught,

Bhaktivinode

At the Feet of the Lord

Tells his grief.

 

VI

1. Hear, O Lord, the tale of my sorrows -

The poison of worldly enjoyment

I have sipped, pretending it was the nectar;

But now the sun is setting.

 

2. In the diversions of play my childhood,

My boyhood in studies I wasted;

There arose no consciousness of good in me.

For enjoying my youth,

I devised a home and settled down in it;

Children and friends did fast multiply.

 

3. Old age soon arrived,

All joys departed;

With disease I was smitten down.

The senses lost their vigour,

The body grew feeble,

The heart was sad lacking enjoyment.

 

4. Devoid of a particle of true knowledge,

Missing the elixir of devotion,

What help is there for me ?

Thou art the Friend of the fallen;

I am the worst of sinners;

In mercy lift me to Thy Feet,

 

5. Judging me

Thou wilt find no good;

Have pity, judge me not.

The nectar of Thy Lotus Feet

Make me taste;

Do Thou deliver Bhaktivinode.

 

VII

1. Lord, this is my prayer at Thy Feet;

The twigs of Thy Holy Feet

My desert mind not seeking

Was enamoured at stony worldliness.

 

2. The strength to rise again

I am unable to attain.

Mourning I pass my days.

Lord of the humble

Thou art called

Thy Feet I beseech.

 

3. Baseness such as mine

Nowhere else is to be found

Give me Thy grace.

In the company of Thy own,

In the pleasures of Thy talk,

I shall give up all evil.

 

4. In Thy abode,

Singing Thy Name,

To spend night and day is my hope.

For the shade of Thy Feet,

Most deliciously cool,

Prays Thy servant, Bhaktivinode.

 

VIII

1. With a mind so evil

In the midst of this world,

Forsaken I lay,

Thy own servant,

A superior person,

Thou didst send.

 

2. Pitying me,

Fallen as I was,

He came to me and said, -

'Thou seem'st humble,

Listen to Good words

That will cheer thy heart.'

 

3. To deliver Thee

Sri Krishna Chaitanya

Has appeared in Navadwipa;

Many another like myself

As humble and as base,

He has conducted safely

across the sea of the world.

 

4. 'The Promise of the Vedas

To fulfil,

The son of Brahman, of golden colour,

Bearing the name of Mahaprabhu

Fills with ecstacy Nadia

In the company of the super ascetic, His Brother.

 

5. 'The Supreme Lord Chaitanya,

Who is no other than the son of Nanda,

By the free gift of His Own Name,

Has wrought the deliverance of the World,

Go thou also

And receive thy salvation'.

 

6. 'Hearing those words

I have come O Lord,

For the shelter of Thy Feet'.

Bhaktivinode,

Crying out in grief,

Narrates the story of himself.

 

IX

1. I have done no good,

I have had no knowledge,

I have never worshipped Thy Feet;

Given to worldly pleasures,

Self-deceived,

I am now encompassed by darkness on every side.

 

2. Thou, O lord, art the Fountain of Mercy,

At Thy Lotus Feet

I surrender my soul,

May Thou afford to be kind.

 

3. This is Thy promise -

He who seeks Thy protection

No harm will know;

Sinner as I am,

Finding no other way,

I now beg for Thy favour.

 

4. Every other desire

Wholly discarding,

O, when shall I be Thine ?

Thou art the Eternal Master,

I am Thy eternal servant, -

This is the sum of Bhaktivinode's musings.

 

X

1. (Lord of my life) How tell Thee the story of my shame.

There is no sin

That I did not commit

Thousands of times and more, O Lord.

 

2. The fruit of those transgressions

Weighs me down in this life, -

Who is now to blame ?

At the time knowing well,

Deliberately I refused to consider the end, -

Yet now I want to be saved.

 

3. According to the offence

Punishment Thou wilt award,

And I shall be put into the bondage of this world:

Even so, through the cycle of those births,

In the company of Thy devotees,

May my mind ever repose at Thy feet.

 

4. This wise, cunning, desire of mine

I lay at Thy Feet;

The pride of my heart is gone;

Kindest to the humble,

Thy un-alloyed Mercy

Is now Bhaktivinode's only hope.

 

XI

1. Mind, body, family, whatever is mine,

Youthful Son of Nanda, I tender at Thy Feet,

 

2. In weal and woe, in life and death,

I am relieved of all anxiety, preferring those feet of Thine.

 

3. Save me or slay me as Thou will'st,

Thou art the Master of Thy eternal servant.

 

4. If it be Thy will to cause me to be born

May I have birth in the home of Thy devotee.

 

5. In the dwelling of Thy servant may I be born a worm -

I have no desire to be born a Brahma averse to Thee.

 

6. I crave the boon of the society of Thy devotees

Who is without a particle of desire for enjoyment or

freedom from misery.

 

7. All I find in Thee, - father, mother, lover, son,

Lord, preceptor, husband.

 

8. "Hear, O Kan (Krishna)", says Bhaktivinode,

"Lord of Radha, Thou art my life".

 

 

XII

1. What-so-ever is meant by the words "I" and "Mine",

Merciful Lord, at Thy Feet I lay.

 

2. Lord, myself am no longer mine,

Even now I become solely Thine.

 

3. The jiva inhabiting this body with the word "I" gives up

all egotism,

And forthwith the pride of being Thine takes possession

of the heart.

 

4. My all - body, home and followers,

Brothers, friends, wife, son, chattels, way, house -

 

5. All these now are Thine and myself Thy servant,

I am now a mere occupant in Thy house.

 

6. Thou art the owner of the house, I obey Thy bidding.

Thy pleasure is now my only endeavour.

 

7. My virtues and defects of the gross and subtle body

Are now no longer mine, I am redeemed.

 

8. To Thy will my will is sub-joined;

Bhaktivinode from this day forgets himself.

 

XIII

1. Lord, there is now nothing left that may be called mine,

Thou alone art my father, friends, brother.

 

2. Friends, wife, sons, daughters, are now Thy servants:

My efforts for them are on Thy account.

 

3. Wealth, followers, house, way,- in as much as they

belong to Thee,

 

4. For Thy service, I earn riches,

And bear the expenses of Thy household.

 

5. I know neither evil nor good, I only serve,

A watchman set to guard the properties of Thy household.

 

6. My senses I exercise according to Thy direction

And desire to hear, see, smell and taste.

 

7. Nothing I do for my own pleasure,

"Thy pleasure is the essence" says Bhaktivinode.

 

XIV

1. In truth all things belong to Thee, the jiva is not their

master;

Wandering by reason of his error of 'I' and 'Mine'

he suffers sorrow and fear.

 

2. The vanity of 'I' and 'Mine' the bound jiva thinks in his

heart of hearts

To be the only treasure that is his own.

 

3. By reason of such vanity hurled into this wordly course

I suffer the pangs of a drowning man swimming about in

the ocean of the world.

 

4. Taking refuge at Thy Feet that save from all fear

This day I dedicated myself to Thee.

 

5. The vanity of 'I' and 'Mine' the bound jiva thinks in his

heart of hearts

To be the only treasure that is his own.

 

6. This strength alone, O Lord, on me bestow

That may enable me to keep at a distance all egoisitic pride.

 

7. May the spirit of renunciation be firmly rooted in the heart

And not prove to be momentary like the cleanliness of

the elephant after bath.

 

8. Bhaktivinode at the Feet of Prabhu Nityananda

Begs for the Grace that delivers from all vanity.

 

XV

1. Lord, this I lay at Thy Feet:

I am fallen and most vile, this the three worlds know.

 

2. There is no sinner so base as myself in the whole world,

In the universe there is no one whose offense equals mine.

 

3. Those sins and offences as Thou know'st

I feel ashamed even to disown.

 

4. Whither shall I betake myself for shelter except to Thee ?

Thou art the Ruler of all the powers that be, Darling

of the Lord of Braja.

 

5. This world of Thine, Thou permeates all things,

Thou wear'st out the offense that is committed towards

Thyself.

 

6. Thou, indeed, art the Refugee of those whose steps have

gone astray.

What else is there beside Thyself ?

 

7. Even so all who offend against Thee

Will ever seek Thy refuge.

 

8. Bhaktivinode seeking the shelter of Thy Feet

At Thy Feet surrenders himself this day.

[Guest guest]

I liked that passage because I have to admit that I much more inclined to accept someone as an authority when they are so humble and the humility isn't just show-bottle spiritualism. I feel like I can relate much more to Thakur Bhaktivinode because myself I have struggled with those very same things mentioned in that poem. I don't know if it is a sin to be able to relate to a spiritual master and if so I apologize.

[Guest guest]

XV

 

1. Lord, this I lay at Thy Feet:

I am fallen and most vile, this the three worlds know.

 

2. There is no sinner so base as myself in the whole world,

In the universe there is no one whose offense equals mine.

 

3. Those sins and offences as Thou know'st

I feel ashamed even to disown.

 

4. Whither shall I betake myself for shelter except to Thee ?

Thou art the Ruler of all the powers that be, Darling

of the Lord of Braja.

 

5. This world of Thine, Thou permeates all things,

Thou wear'st out the offense that is committed towards

Thyself.

 

6. Thou, indeed, art the Refugee of those whose steps have

gone astray.

What else is there beside Thyself ?

 

7. Even so all who offend against Thee

Will ever seek Thy refuge.

 

8. Bhaktivinode seeking the shelter of Thy Feet

At Thy Feet surrenders himself this day.

[krsna]

k

 

 

Prayer in Separation of Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura

 

(Translator's Note:

This prayer to Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura (1838-1914), the pioneer of pure devotion in the recent age, was composed within the lifetime of the author's Guru, Srila Bhakti Siddhanta Saraswati Thakura Goswami Prabhupada. Upon reading the original Sanskrit verse, Srila Prabhupada commented, "Now I am confident that we have one man who is qualified to uphold the standard of our Sampradaya (Divine Succession).")

 

1

ha ha bhaktivinoda-thakura! guroh! dvavimsatis te sama dirghad-duhkha-bharad-asesa-virahad-duhsthikrta bhuriyam

jivanam bahu-janma-punya-nivahakrsto mahi-mandale

avirbhava-krpam cakara ca bhavan sri-gaura-saktih svayam

2

dino 'ham cira-duskrtir na hi bhavat-padabja-dhuli-kana-

snanananda-nidhim prapanna-subhadam labdhum samartho 'bhavam

kintv audarya-gunat-tavati-yasasah karunya-saktih svayam

sri-sri-gaura-mahaprabhoh prakatita visvam samanvagrahit

3

he deva! stavane tavakhila-gunanam te virincadayo

deva vyartha-mano-rathah kim u vayam martyadhamah kurmahe

etan no vibudhaih kadapy atisayalankara ity ucyatam

sastresv eva "na paraye 'ham" iti yad gatam mukundena tat

4

dharmas-carma-gato 'jnataiva satata yogas ca bhogatmako

jnane sunya-gatir japena tapasa khyatir jighamsaiva ca

dane dambhikata 'nuraga-bhajane dustapacaro yada

buddhim buddhi-matam vibheda hi tada dhatra bhavan presitah

5

visve 'smin kiranair yatha hima-karah sanjivayann osadhir

naksatrani ca ranjayan nija-sudham vistarayan rajate

sac-chastrani ca tosayan budha-ganam sammodayams te tatha

nunam bhumi-tale subhodaya iti hlado bahuh satvatam

6

lokanam hita-kamyaya bhagavato bhakti-pracaras tvaya

granthanam racanaih satam abhimatair nana-vidhair darsitah

acaryaih krta-purvam eva kila tad ramanujadyair budhaih

premambho-nidhi-vigrahasya bhavato mahatmya-sima na tat

7

yad dhamnah khalu dhama caiva nigame brahmeti samjnayate

yasyamsasya kalaiva duhkha-nikarair yogesvarair mrgyate

vaikunthe para-mukta-bhrnga-carano narayano yah svayam

tasyamsi bhagavan svayam rasa-vapuh krsno bhavan tat pradah

8

sarvacintyamaye paratpara-pure goloka-vrndavane

cil-lila-rasa-rangini parivrta sa radhika sri-hareh

vatsalyadi-rasais ca sevita-tanor-madhurya-seva-sukham

nityam yatra muda tanoti hi bhavan tad dhama-seva-pradah

9

sri-gauranumatam svarupa-viditam rupagrajenadrtam

rupadyaih parivesitam raghu-ganair asvaditam sevitam

jivadyair abhiraksitam suka-siva-brahmadi-sammanitam

sri-radha-.-sevanamrtam aho tad datum iso bhavan

10

kvaham manda-matis tv ativa-patitah kva tvam jagat-pavanah

bho svamin krpayaparadha-nicayo nunam tvaya ksamyatam

yace 'ham karuna-nidhe! varam imam padabja-mule bhavat-

sarvasvavadhi-radhika-dayita-dasanam gane ganyatam

 

 

1

Alas, alas! O Bhaktivinoda Thakura, O Supreme Guru, for twenty-two years this world has been plunged into misfortune, long grief-stricken in your intolerable separation. You are the divine potency of Sri Gaura, and you graciously made your advent in this earthly plane, being attracted by the living beings' virtuous deeds performed throughout many lifetimes.

 

2

Since I am lowly and very wretched, it was not my luck to reach the ocean that bestows the fortune of surrender - the ocean of the ecstasy of bathing in a particle of the dust of your holy lotus feet. Yet due to your magnanimous nature, you gave your grace to the whole universe, personally revealing your supereminence as the personification of the mercy potency of Sri Gauranga. (That is, by coming into this world, I received his grace.)

 

3

O Lord, even all the demigods headed by Lord Brahma feel frustrated by their inability to (fittingly) sing the glories of all your divine qualities. What, then, can be said of the attempt of a fallen soul, a mere human like me? Surely, the learned will never waste their eloquent words eulogizing this statement, since even the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Lord Sri Krsna Himself, has sung in the Scriptures His celebrated confession Ôna paraye 'hamÕ - ÔI am unable (to reciprocate your devotion).Õ

 

4

At a time when religion was evaluated in terms of bodily relationship, saintliness was determined by ignorance, and yoga practice was motivated by sensual pleasure; when scholarship was cultivated just for voidism, japa was conducted for the sake of fame, and penance was performed out of vindictiveness; when charity was given out of pride, and on the pretext of spontaneous devotion the most gross, sinful acts were perpetrated - and in all such anomalous situations even the intelligentsia were at loggerheads with one another . . . at that very time, you were sent by the Almighty Creator.

 

5

As the universally cooling moon is beautified by diffusing its nectarean rays, nourishing the plants and inciting the twinkling of the stars, your Holy Advent in this world is similarly ascertained as satisfying the pure devotional Scriptures (through profound study) and blessing the learned with full-blown happiness (by the perfect axiomatic conclusions descending in Divine Succession). With your appearance, the ecstasy of the devotees knows no bounds.

 

6

By writing many books and by multifarious methods recognized by the pure devotees, you have demonstrated the preaching of pure devotional service unto the Supreme Lord, for the benefit of the whole world. We have heard of similar achievements in previous times by stalwart scholars such as Sri Ramanuja and many other Acaryas; but the glory of you - the very embodiment of the nectar of divine love - does not end (cannot be confined) here.

 

7

Merely the effulgence of His divine abode has been designated by the title 'Brahman' in the Vedas, and only the expansion of an expansion of His expansion is sought after with great tribulation by the foremost yogis. The most exalted of the liberated souls shine resplendent as the bumblebees at His lotus feet. The Primeval Origin of even the Original Sri Narayana who is the Lord of the spiritual sky above Brahman: He is the Original Supreme Lord, the personification of all nectarine mellows - Sri Krsna - and He is the one that you give.

 

8

Situated in the topmost region of the absolutely inconceivable spiritual sky is the holy abode of Sri Vrndavana Dhama, in the spiritual planet known as Goloka. There, surrounded by Sakhis, Srimati Radhika revels in the mellows of divine pastimes. With great ecstasy, She expands the joy of loving sweetness in the service of Sri Krsnacandra, who is otherwise served in four relationships up to parenthood. You, O Thakura Bhaktivinoda, can give us the service of that holy Dhama.

 

9

The internal purport is known to Sri Svarupa Damodara by the sanction of Sri Gauracandra, of that which is adored by Sri Sanatana Goswami and distributed by the preceptors realized in transcendental mellows, headed by Sri Rupa Goswami; that which is tasted and enhanced by Sri Raghunatha Dasa Goswami and followers and carefully protected by the votaries headed by Sri Jiva Prabhu; and that which (from a respectful distance) is venerated by great personalities such as Sri Suka, Lord Siva, the chief of the demigods, and Lord Brahma, the grandfather of all beings - O wonder of wonders! the nectarine rapture of servitude unto Sri Radhika - that, too, you can give us.

 

10

Where am I, so lowly and fallen, and where are you, the great soul who delivers the universe! O Lord, by your grace, you are sure to forgive my offenses. O ocean of mercy, in the dust of your lotus feet I pray for just this benediction: kindly make my life successful by recommending me for admission into the group of Sri Varsabhanavi Dayita Dasa, who is the dearmost one in your heart.

 

The prayer above was written by Srila Sridhar Maharaj in 1937