When will I give up illicit sex?

[gopidust]

Are devotees really able to do it or are we all just practicing and pretending until we are able to? this is a serious question please do not erase it!!!

[Guest guest]

krsna consciousness is all in chanting hare krishna. All the efforts put on different purposes are practically speaking.. useless.

 

So whatever we do with our material body the remedy is undoubtely the same.... to chant hare krishna mahamantra

 

so who have no sex he has to chant

who has licit sex he has to chant

who has illicit sex he has to chant

even who is completely perverted and deviated he has to chant

 

please do not take it as i was minimixing your question, but,especially for this matter, chanting is really the only thing to do.... i know devotees from long time, i do not know anyone who has really and totally changed his sexual behaviour with repression and efforts on bodily and mental plane

 

after some time of suffering for repression, people turn back to the old habits... then if they are serious in chanting hare krishna, gradually they become naturally more sober

[stonehearted]

Yes, there are devotees who can give up illicit sex. How hard that is for each devotee depends on what is probably a complex mix of factors which include the samskaras (mental impressions) we bring from our past, our own determination to advance, and the association we keep. I remember hearing a long time ago that good association is 85% of the deal.

 

In the meantime, we must never stop chanting and manitain our ideal. It's that ideal, our best aspirations, that the guru sees in us, not the anarthas. And when we slip, we pick up and try anew, rather than get too carried away with self pity or self castigation.

[Pankaja_Dasa]

 

 

You used the word repression, this is only verse within Gita which uses it. Hare Krishna

 

TRANSLATION

Even a man of knowledge acts according to his own nature, for everyone follows the nature he has acquired from the three modes. What can repression accomplish?

 

PURPORT

Unless one is situated on the transcendental platform of Krishna consciousness, he cannot get free from the influence of the modes of material nature, as it is confirmed by the Lord in the Seventh Chapter (7.14). Therefore, even for the most highly educated person on the mundane plane, it is impossible to get out of the entanglement of maya simply by theoretical knowledge, or by separating the soul from the body. There are many so-called spiritualists who outwardly pose as advanced in the science but inwardly or privately are completely under particular modes of nature which they are unable to surpass. Academically, one may be very learned, but because of his long association with material nature, he is in bondage. Krishna consciousness helps one to get out of the material entanglement, even though one may be engaged in his prescribed duties in terms of material existence. Therefore, without being fully in Krishna consciousness, one should not give up his occupational duties. No one should suddenly give up his prescribed duties and become a so-called yogi or transcendentalist artificially. It is better to be situated in one's position and to try to attain Krishna consciousness under superior training. Thus one may be freed from the clutches of Krishna's maya.

http://bhagavadgitaasitis.com/3/33/en1

[Guest guest]

One of my friends, who was a very religious person since younger days and who was morally sound person, but due to circumstances that person fell into illicit sex few times. Initially that individual thought even stupid when I said that what that person is doing is totally out of his own religious practice and values and argued submissively that it is also act of Sree Krishna to relive that person from that circumstance. But what that person thought as relief from one circumstance, that illicit sex put that person in another emotional trouble when that person was emotionally tortured by that other partner. But at anytime my friend did not give up the bakthi and devotion and started realising that what I advised could be true and slowly begun to come out of that partner. Although my friend's association with that other illicit partner was very few times my friend felt very bad for falling and becoming stupid in that circumstances and then to get rid of the papa karma, started observing fasting for Krishna and now my friend is totally back to normal. While my friend tried to have a normal friendship with human values with the partner, that person appeared to have only used my friend, so my friend was emotionally disturbed and out of constant chanting the Maha mantra, my friend received the causeless mercy or Lord and now forgotten those dark days.

Its natural for we humans to fall down and even try to justify our actions, but when we constantly fix our mind totally on Krishna, its quite possible to come out of it. So in the magnitude of several births and deaths, this is part of it and one can surely come out of it by constantly praying to Lord. My friend said what helped him to come out of it was the words I told him once. I said, "If you are having bakthi for Krishna, and if that bakthi is Love, then you are actually cheating on Sree Krishna by going with your partner". How you would feel, if your partner cheats on you. Just imagine like that and when you keep Krishna as your partner, your mind will not go for illicit sex, because you dont want to cheat on your partner". ALthough my friend did not like what I said, but it has been working in his mind and now that helped him totally.

Goodluck

 

[theist]

we develop the wrong goal and lose focus. It is not that one practices Krsna consciousness to learn to give up sex life but rather one gives up sex life to help develop Krsna consciousness.

 

But if that is not within one's make up to do at this time then engage the sex life in the development of Krsna consciousness.

 

Celibacy is not the goal.

[Guest guest]

hardest thing is if you become devotee and your husband or wife also takes up KC. if one of you reach stage of not wanting sex first - it is very hard for other person sometimes you feel much pressure!

Best advice - if single stay single haha

[mini]

The above quote is not what I was expecting from a Krishna follower, actually it is flaw of my mind.

 

Did Krishna marry or not ??

 

Did Krishna showed anyone the path of celibacy??

 

If everyone on the earth(very hypothetical) turns celibate , then will we be going against the creation ??

 

wondering,

mini

[Guest guest]

If everybody leaves the material world and goes back to godhead how will the material world go on? Don't worry, it will get filled back up by other fallen souls.

Thanks all of you for your help. I will try to give up illicit sex life again seriously in a week or so. Not that I am determined to have sex in the meantime.

[mini]

Hello,

 

LOL , I am not worried about the material world.

 

To my understanding we come to the earth again and again so that we can grow spiritually. But if everyone turns a celibate no one will get a chance to have a life . Atleast not as a human.

 

Nowhere I have read that the founders of the religions advocated against getting married, maybe due to my little knowledge in these matters.

 

 

[gopidust]

Bhuddhist monks were probably celibate. Sannyasis in India. Apostles in Christianity and so on. All religions recommend some sort of marriage rites and control of sex to some degree I believe. The highest ones control illicit sex more than the lower ones. For example, Krishna didn't preach in the Bhagavad-Gita not to engage in homosexual activity to Arjuna because it wasn't necessary to tell such a great personality not to do such a fallen activity, there was no need.

[mini]

Hello Gopidust,

 

To my understanding forsaking family life and turning into an ascetic does not make anyone into a superior person, and no religion teaches that. I never said I vote for illicit sex, I just said celibacy is not taught by those who came to show the path to enlightment to others. Over the years people have created their own concepts of spiritualism.

 

Bhagavad Gita is a very esoteric text, I am still to undestand its deep meaning. But had there been no families , there had been no Gita. It is in family structure one can find out one's flaws and then remove then with efforts. All I can say is that Krishna married , Rama married, Shiva married...

 

Buddhism has divided into many sects. Some of them favour celibacy, yet some others practise white tantra. It does not concern me anyway.

 

 

regards,

mini

 

 

[Guest guest]

Dear Mini, in our Krishna Counciousnes a decrease in our sense enjoyments way of life, and specially sex enjoy, is a manifestation of an advanced state of Counciousness.

In other words, if samebody is a pure devotee or a spiritual master THERE IS THE TEST.

Srila Prabhupada pui a lot of enfasis in this point.

[mini]

Dear Guest,

 

Understood, agreed and accepted. You know, something within me also says so. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

I am new here and trying to understand more about Krishna Consciousness. As far as I am concerned, how someone names the "Ultimate Power", makes no difference to me. I only want to realise myself. Say it "Krishna Consciousness" or "Christ Consciousness", or "Rama Consciousness" or "Nanak Consciousness", or whatever.

 

I believe they are all same . And I don't think it will make any difference to Supreme creator(s), God(s) as well, as they don't have any Ego problems. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

But I will use it as Krishna consciousness if you like it. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

"Whenever any important truth of religion was suppressed by the arrogance and selfishness of the priestly class or forgotten through the ignorance of the people, there appeared a great Saint or Prophet or Religious Teacher. He emphasized that truth, removed the dross which had concealed or obscured it and made it shine in its original brilliance, purity, splendour and glory."

Sri Swami Sivananda

 

 

 

What are the techniques all you fellows follow to decrease your defects, one of which is attachment to sensual pleasures? Do you practise observation of mind??

In past 4-5 months I have discovered so many defects in myself only by practising self observation, that I am amazed at the number of defects I am made up of. And I was not even aware that I have those defects in me. Until a moment arises for a defect to come out, it stays latent in the mind.

 

If we try to stop those situations to arise that will bring out those defects, we have not made any improvement. So, It is my opinion that one should not try to escape family life. I don't favour sensuality , please don't take me wrong.

 

regards,

mini

[Avinash]

If we want to give up something but we are not able to (because it is difficult to control desires), then promising to God that we are going to give that up may help. It certainly helpted me.

 

Since my early childhood days, I have had the habit of eating very little and finding excuses for missing food whenever I can. But there is one thing that I ate a lot and that was sugar.

When I was a child, I had the habit of eating lots of sugar. When I say sugar, I do not mean things made of sugar. I mean just sugar. Since I ate very little of other things, my mother used to allow me to eat sugar because she did not want to deny me the only thing that I enjoyed eating. As I grew up, my habit of eating little persisted but the habit of eating sugar reduced and finally stopped. After a few years, once again I started eating sugar a lot. Such habits are found in children, but I had this habit even though I was fully grown up. If I tell you how much sugar I finished in a single day, then you will be shocked. You can say that I was an addict. I knew that it was not good for my health. So, I thought of stopping this many times, but in just a few days, I resumed my bad habit.

One day I thought of making promise to God. I closed my eyes and chanted God's name a few times. I visualized Krsna as best as I could. Then I made a promise to Him that I was going to give up that habit with immediate effect.

After a few days it happened that when I saw the container that contained sugar, then I forgot my promise and I moved towards the container. But the moment I touched it I remembered my promise and moved away without eating the sugar (in fact without even opening the container). After that I once again repeated my promise to Krsna. This happened a few times.

Now I can say that I have really got rid of that habit because now even when I see sugar, I do not get the desire to eat it. It has been many months since I lost this desire.