Chanting & Praying

[Pankaja_Dasa]

 

 

Hare Krishna

 

I suppose everybody read the Suicide help thread. Thats all me. Ghari asked for an update, well I can kinda still not well but I am getting better. This kind of mentality doesn't go away easy it follows you like a plague. Same as not wanting to chant, this will follow you like a plague as well. I am concentrating on chanting. I guess you have to desire to concentrate not just think of it as a thing which will accompany chanting japa {but it can}.

 

I am putting my PC away for 1 whole Month {gasp}, I am going to be concentrating on Japa with no distractions. I want to see what this holy name is made of. I always say this is my last post etc. But I can never keep promises anyway, so I don't really care. Everybody on this forum knows my nature. {so does krishna}. I am hoping to get some personal association, this forum and e-mails, chat rooms are way to impersonal for me now. I hope you have me in your prayers. I wish I get some assocation soon. I am confident Krishna will give me as I deserve. Hare Krishna.

[AncientMariner]

I know how hard it is to battle depression etc. as I barely survived from terrible depression back in early 1990's. Don't worry about this or that being your last post etc. If it helps you deal with reality then just post whenever you want. On the same hand if you feel that taking a break from internet will help you come to a higher spiritual realization or a closer relationship to Krishna etc. then go ahead and do that but don't be hard on yourself. Wish you the best and my prayers with you.

[Pankaja_Dasa]

 

 

I saw in another thread about preaching you said something that peoples are maybe not as willing to take to KC. I'd have to say I do greatly disagree with you on this. Most Christians I do think want a higher realization of what God is and His activities. Our goal is to preach the highest cocncept of God, I do understand you wanting to preach 'just about God'. KC is not complicated concept it is just love of God. Teach this that's what His Divine Grace A.C Bhaktivedanta Swami Srila Prabhupada did. Simple.

[Pankaja_Dasa]

 

 

I think many people handle this in different ways. I tend to want to hide away from the world. I think I have a 'tyaga mentality' I just want to give everything up. Maybe its the Buddist in me. No idea. Maybe we can learn a few things from them. Those guys work so hard for something which in the end is nothing. Not saying we should have a void mentality but sometimes this can help a little to calm the mind. The main thing which bothers me is negative thoughts. I think this is the root cause of all depression.

[Guest guest]

as a Person with bi-polar most of life It was a struggle to try maintain some semblance of sanity.

 

I have to admit through the years of struggle the main thing that has greatly assisted in comfort wasthe feeling I wasn't completely bonkers.

 

From the up for months, down for months, up for weeks down for weeks, never knowing which way was really up.

it occured to me one day at the bottom of a six month depressive state that I was as low as I would ever get it was that time I attempted to end this miserable existance.

 

Sure I tried chanting but never really getting much juice but that changed as I said when I realized there was no where to go from down except up.

 

Anyway you are feeling better these days reading chanting with conviction, please take solice in that fact you are a Vaisnava with spiritual intent otherwise why you have such auspicious wonderful name.Krsna has given for purpose.

 

Pankaja: 16 primary references in Vedas, one of the sweetest I came across is; TQK 5 ' "so here in these prayers, Kunti devi a great devotee,is giving us the opportunity to become Krsna conscious simply by concentrating our mind on Pankaja,the lotus flower.'Panka' means mud and 'ja' means generate. Although the lotus flower is generated from mud,'IT IS A MOST IMPORTANT FLOWER, and KRSNA LIKES IT VERY MUCH.' Kunti devi therefore discribes all the parts of Krsnas body with reference to LOTUS FLOWERS, AS SOON AS ONE SEES A LOTUS FLOWER ONE WILL IMMEDIATELY THINK OF KRSNA. Pankaja !

 

SIMILARLY when one reads your comments and queries on this site and sees the name PANKAJA they will immediately

think of KRSNA.! all glories to Kunti devi in glorifying Krsna with the word PANKAJA. glories to you Prabhu for your courage and openness IN THIS FORUM remember we as aspiring Vaisnavas are beyond the molecules of material emotions.

 

We are spiritual beings with unlimited capacity for emoting spiritual values and principles.

 

I hope this meets you well in health and perspicacious in your Krsna conscious endeavors and truely felicitate in the dust of the feet of Vaisnavas....

 

you go prabhu...God love and God luck ....

 

gopijana das

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

YES...clear your mind from this terriable addiction which is called the internet...this vast superhighway which is supposed to make our lives easier, actually does just the opposite...it binds us, steals our time, and while it was intended to make us more productive, it gets in our way.

 

disconnect and refocus on the HOLYNAME

 

[jayaisvara]

I hope you are feeling better now. Pankaja Prabhu, I myself am blind so I can't give you any advice. But, if you can think back about how Swami Prabhupada Maharaja has saved us fallen souls from eternal doom, we owe him and the vaishnavas ourselves life after life, for eternity. All I am saying is, and please do try this, glorify the vaishnavas. I have a bad habit of a fickle mind. But I know that glorifying the vaishnavas is best ambrosia. I've committed offenses and still do due to my uncontrolled mind and am going through depression, somewhat mild one. It is all to make us humble I believe. Please glorify every vaishnava. They are our saviours, they are full of mercy, and what I think is that my mind is my enemy, and the vaishnavas are MY friends and not my minds. Try to see the good in others. Even at forums like this, sometimes I take it for granted to talk to others how I want. But they are still vaishnavas, and it doesn't matter if I am talking to them in real life or through the internet, they are still vaishnavas. Just pray that you can glorify the vaishnavas life after life. They are most dear to Lord Hari. Just try to think of a time in your life where someone really cared for you, maybe motherly affection your mother showed you or your father was affectionate towards you. Now know that the vaishnavas are even more affectionate and compassionate towards the fallen souls like us. There is no limit. Always try to glorify them. What I'm trying to do is forgetting about what my interest is, and trying to glorify the vaishnavas. That is the only way out of offense committed at the lotus feet of the vaishnavas.

 

 

Also, I've heard from a forum called Gaudiya Discussions, that forced chanting of the mahamantra hardens the heart of one. Maybe advanced devotees here can verify this and guide you to it. Maybe you can also email Swami B.V. Tripurari Maharaja or Swami Vishnu Maharaja asking for guidance. Try to see the mercy of the vaishnavas and glorify them always, you will come out of this depression without a doubt.

 

Hare Krsna Prabhu /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[Pankaja_Dasa]

 

 

Not sure how to respond to your post. I will try not to use bad language when trying to describe my illness. Because that's what it does to you. It drives you crazy. But I am too sane to ever go crazy if that makes sense. Its like you want people to understand but at the same time you don't want them to feel sorry for you. All I can say its got to be linked to karma. So if you chant it has to be wiped away. After all it's the mind. But I'm sure depression has some contacts with the body as well. But root cause is the mind. Also desire must be a player. Please give me your thoughts on this. I'm sure you analized it over the years. This will help me immensely. A lot.

 

Dandabats sorry for being familiar in my post.

 

[Pankaja_Dasa]

I myself am blind so I can't give you any advice.

 

 

 

When somebody says this I read their advice like I am about to have my last breath!

 

They are our saviours, they are full of mercy, and what I think is that my mind is my enemy, and the vaishnavas are MY friends and not my minds. Try to see the good in others.

 

 

 

I never until this day heard such sublime advice from anybody. I think maybe you cured my depression. Vaishnava's are the friends of our minds jai.!

 

Also, I've heard from a forum called Gaudiya Discussions, that forced chanting of the mahamantra hardens the heart of one.

 

 

Mm how else are you going to chant. In the start this happens, due to offences but later on heart is melted. Everybody has a hard heart due to offences. But mine is melted now and again by hearing about Krishna. I wouldn't take this statement to say we shouldn't force our minds not to chant. Theres always a story behind a statement. I don't frequent the forum as much, I see more faithless people there than devotees. But don't quote me on that. I mean no offence.!

 

Good idea about e-mailing, bvbishnu@

 

Heh wouldn't it be great to have chat with Maharaja on-line. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[jayaisvara]

 

Mm how else are you going to chant. In the start this happens, due to offences but later on heart is melted. Everybody has a hard heart due to offences. But mine is melted now and again by hearing about Krishna. I wouldn't take this statement to say we shouldn't force our minds not to chant. Theres always a story behind a statement. I don't frequent the forum as much, I see more faithless people there than devotees. But don't quote me on that. I mean no offence.!

 

 

If your 16 rounds go with glorifying the devotees you will surely come out of this depression. You will truly gain auspiciousness if you glorify the devotees. I myself am trying to follow this and although I am not at all even close to performing it properly in the least, still, I believe that vaishnavas are our friends and are so much compassionate so they ought to be glorified. After all, they are only trying to save us, to show us who we are, what our true treasure is. We are not this mind, this body, everything to do with this world. So sometimes I think myself as the greatest madman and snake for not properly glorifying those great souls. A snake, because even if you give a snake milk so that it will not go starving, it still bites you. Such is my most disgusting existence. But as soon as you really tell your mind that vaishnavas are most glorious and are simply our saviours, and glorify them, you will undoubtedly attain all auspiciousness. This is in Chaitanya Bhagavata where Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu explains how to get free from offenses:

 

 

He was also present at the houses of Srivasa and Chandrasekhara, where he would also dance during kirtan. Vakresvara was so dear to Mahaprabhu that when Devananda Pandit was able to receive Mahaprabhu's mercy by serving him. In this way he was able to become free of the offenses he had made to Srivasa Pandit. Mahaprabhu explained how to atone for offenses to the Vaishnavas in answer to a Brahmin's question.

 

Listen, Brahmin, if someone eats poison then he must take ambrosia through the very same mouth. Then the poison will be digested and the body will become immortal by the power of the divine ambrosia. Now let me answer your question. Whatever blasphemies you have unknowingly made are exactly like poison which you have eaten. Now you must use the same mouth to constantly glorify Krishna's name and qualities, which are like ambrosia. You have used this mouth to insult the devotees, now use it to glorify them. Glorify the devotees as the best of humanity, glorify them in songs and poetry. I will destroy all the poison of blasphemy through the ambrosia of the ecstasies of Krishna's glories. You have all unknowingly committed offenses; this is the truth. If you should stop all kinds of offensive activity and simply engage in praising Krishna and his devotees, then you will be free from all the sins you have committed, however numerous they may be. You will not be able to achieve the same results by millions of atonements. (Chaitanya Bhagavat 3.3.449-458)

 

 

 

Following Mahaprabhu's advice Prabhu Pankaja, you will surely become a great devotee, because Mahaprabhu has said it. Even if one doesn't committ offenses, what is lost in praising the Lord and His beloved devotees? None watsoever.

 

Hare Krsna Prabhu

[Guest guest]

Dear Pankaja Prabhu, please accept dandavat pranams,glories to to our beloved Srila Prabhupada,as well the Vaisnava sampradaya,

 

< but root cause is the mind.also desire must be a player >

 

Forgive me for taking some time to read carefully your post. I have also gone over your topics & other posts to try get some sense of your sincerety regarding your situation.

 

There are extenuating circumstance at any given time regarding our mental state. Such as meds if being used ? by whom they are prescribed for what type diagnosis anxiety or depressive state ? manic, depressive(bi-polar)etc.

 

In some instances is the person ,in this case such as ours, aspiring devotees....are we finding necessary taking meds regularly ? Personally it was always difficult remembering which one of the many were taken when, throughout the day.

 

Anti-depressants are prescribed for psychic depression.It is often not properly diagnosed our condition from material point. You are correct your observation root cause the mind as well underlying desires.

 

Bi-polar affective disorder means one is low of spirit,sad,affected by the psycological. To be manic is to be affected by mental and physical hyperactivity.

 

To gain a better personal understanding of situation if there is confusion, you may read 'Molecules of Emotion' by Candice Pert. Highly recommended read regarding the brain function, and self discovery when afflicted by depression.

But keep in mind the reality 'we are beyond the molecules of emotion in the sense we are 'jivatma' and therefore innate capacity emote on spiritual level not affected by material situations.

 

It is interesting to note that when our Srila Prabhupada was dealing with the inception of and establishing Lord Caitanyas movement here in the west, he was met with resistance from many quarters. He discribes he too was depressed on occasions by various persons and circumstances, but delt with situations from a Krsna conscious perspective. This information regarding depression is available on data base. dial up search 'depression' anyone interested will be surprised.... well maybe not, but I was impressed the apodictic approach of Srila Prabhupada re. the subject of depression.

 

I appreciate your honesty and 'abhaya'(fearless) approach in dealing with your personal discomforts in this forum of Krsna conscious discussions, and I concur with Jayaisvara prabhu, comment of the Vaisnava's interest to help others prudent advice,chanting, reading, most importantly association.

 

If we live alone the remedy is live in association other Vaisnava's. Do the needful for inspiration, some devotees distribute books others distribute prasada,while others go out to tell whom ever they meet about Radha and Krsna ie. when going to YMCA or other public exercise facility, people inquire frequently about neckbeads a Vaisnava wears,this is Krsna's way of presenting opportunity to tell everyone you meet. besides the benifit of exercise (endorphins) it is enlivening when you meet sincere inquisitive souls searching for Krsna.

 

After all we are by our natures infused with maya, without Krsna's mercy and the mercy and love of the Vaisnava's what do we have to hope for ?

 

The purpose of communication on the net is to enable close quarter expression of views and query regarding Krsna consciousness, and I agree with my God-brother HH Radhanatha swami that the intention of use of this technology is evident in the subjectmatter.

 

I do en-courage you Pankaja Prabhu, heed the sagacious advice the concerned devotee friends and God-siblings that wish you well.

and if you have need to speak on more personal level please feel free to write me here at e-addy

 

gopijanadas@.ca or gopijanadas@hotmail.com

 

I hope this meets you well in health, as well perspicacious of spirit in your Krsna conscious endeavors Pankaja Prabhu

 

Sincerely....ever felicitate in the dust of the feet of Vaisnava's

 

gopijana das

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Pankaja_Dasa]

 

I don't want to mull over depression to much as it kinda makes me depressed. I try to look at it as negativity. Depression strikes fear in my heart because when it comes its wipes all positivity. I looked up the word depression:

 

_____

My respectful obeisances are unto You, O Lord, whose abdomen is marked with a depression like a lotus flower, who are always decorated with garlands of lotus flowers, whose glance is as cool as the lotus, and whose feet are engraved with lotuses.

Srimad-Bhagavatam 1.8.22

_______

 

 

Hehe seems my name Pankaja has ever newer significance. I also saw how Prabhupada said he was depressed with Gaudiya Matha because of lack of preaching. So maybe it can be a positive thing. Anyway I do think most of the population is depressed in some way otherwise why would people take so many drugs etc. I'll tell the truth I feel like doing many more things now than I ever did. I want to be like #no.1 book distributer etc. I just read Krsnaji posts it said:

 

 

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Devotee: If we think about our spiritual master, is that as good as thinking of Krsna?

 

Prabhupada: Yes, because it is said, yasya prasadad bhagavat-prasadah: "If you can please your guru, then you please Krsna." So if you make always this plan, "How to please my guru," then you'll please Krsna.

_________

[Guest guest]

 

 

Pankaja Prabhu this is totally admirable desire ... like right now the # 1 book distributor in the world is a bhakta... go figure the guy is fired up big time ....yes yes what desire...what mercy given....

 

Sb.1.5.24 te mayy apetakhila-capele'rbbake, dante'dhrta-kridanake'nuvartini, cakru krpam yadyapi tulya-darsanah, susrusamane munayo'lpa-bhasini

 

Although they were impartial by nature,those followers of the Vedanta blessed me their causeless mercy. As far as I was concerned, I was self controled and had no attachment for sports, even though I was a boy.In addition,I was not naughty,and I did not speak more than required.

 

purport: 'three subject matters in Vedas to establish the relation of living entities with the Personality of Godhead, perform the regulative duties in devotional service, and thus achieve the ultimate goal, back to Godhead. Without being fully obedient, no one can become successful in following the instructions of the spiritual master, and withoutdoing so, no one is able to go back to Godhead.'

 

seems like most of us have our work cut out for us ...non ?

 

seems like its all about being able to follow....like Narada Muni ?

 

ys. gopijana das.....

 

 

[Pankaja_Dasa]

 

I have to admit I feel a great lifting of ignorance from my head just by talking about this. By the way too many material desires can cause depression. Before when we were saying about Vaishnava'a there depression cannot be compared to mine or ours etc. They are just wanting to please Krsna and feel sad. But you are always I am sure. Well you've helped me. I guess I needed somebody to talk to who has been thru it. Hare Krishna.

 

Ps I take heed of your advice.

 

Without being fully obedient, no one can become successful in following the instructions of the spiritual master, and without doing so, no one is able to go back to Godhead.'