7 reasons not to argue with children

[krsna]

7 reasons not to argue with children

 

 

REASON ONE

 

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it

was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even

though

it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl

stated, "Jonah was swallowed by a whale." Irritated, the teacher

reiterated

that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The

little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher

asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you

ask

him".

 

REASON TWO

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of

children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to

see

each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working

diligently,

she asked what the drawing was... The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,

"They will in a minute."

 

REASON THREE

 

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five

and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor"thy Father

and

thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to

treat

our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the

oldest

of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

 

REASON FOUR

 

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at

the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands

of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at

her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white,

Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make

me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought

about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of

grandma's hairs are white?"

 

REASON FIVE

 

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to

persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how

nice

it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's

Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

 

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher,

She's dead. "

 

REASON SIX

 

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.Trying to

make

the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the

blood,

as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face..Yes,"

the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the

ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow

shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

 

REASON SEVEN

 

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary

school

for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun

made

a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a

large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take

all

you want. God is watching the apples.

 

[krsna]

Kids Explain the Bible

 

 

 

Nine year old Joey was asked by his mother what he had

learned at Sunday school.

 

"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind

enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of

Egypt.

 

When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a

pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely.

 

"Then he used his walkie - talkie to radio headquarters for

reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and

all the Israelites were saved."

 

"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?"

his mother asked.

 

"Well, no, Mom. But if I told it the way the teacher did,

you'd never believe it!"

[krsna]

Are You God ???

 

 

One cold evening during the holiday season, a little boy about six or seven was standing out in front of a store window. The little child had no shoes on and his clothes were mere rags.

A young woman passing by saw the little boy and could read the longing in his pale blue eyes. She took the child by the hand and led him into the store. There she bought him new shoes and a complete suit of warm clothing.

They came back outside into the street and the woman said to the child, "Now you can go home and have a very happy holiday."

The little boy looked up at her and asked, "are you God, Ma'am?" She smiled down at him and replied, "No son, I'm just one of His children."

The little boy then said, "I knew you had to be some relation."

 

[krsna]

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

 

What WAS the best thing before sliced bread?

 

What would chairs look like if our knees bent the other way?

 

If you choke a smurf, what colour does it turn?

 

If you cross a four leaf clover with poison ivy, would you get a rash of good luck?

 

If all the world's a stage, and all the people players, why isn't there better acting on 'Baywatch'?

 

If a no-armed man has a gun, is he armed?

 

If you got into a taxi and the driver starts driving backwards, does she/he owe you money?

 

If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of progress?

 

If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?