God and Eve's Conversation in the Garden of Eden

[krsna]

God and Eve's Conversation (PG)

 

 

 

 

GOD AND EVE SPEAK

 

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord,

I have a problem!"

 

 

"What's the problem, Eve?"

 

 

"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this

beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that

hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."

 

 

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

 

 

"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples."

 

 

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create

a man for you."

 

 

"What's a 'man', Lord?"

 

 

"This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive

tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathise or

listen to you properly. All in all, he'll give you a hard

time. But, he'll be bigger and faster and more muscular than

you. He'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball

about and hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether

bad in the sack."

 

 

"Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.

 

 

 

"Yeah, well. He's better than a poke in the eye with a

burnt stick. But, you can have him on one condition."

 

 

"What's that, Lord?"

 

 

"You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."

 

[Kulapavana]

Lilith was also far, far more interesting than that Barbie girl Eve /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[krsna]

THE ATHEIST

 

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the

"accident of evolution" had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful

rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself.

 

As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes

behind. As he turned to look, he saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him.

 

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and

saw that the bear was closing in on him. He tried to run even faster, so

scared that tears were coming to his eyes. He looked over his shoulder

again and the bear was even closer. His heart was pumping frantically as

he tried to run even faster, but he tripped and fell on the ground. He

rolled over to pick himself up and saw the bear right on top of him

raising his paw to kill him.

 

At that instant he cried out "Oh my God!" Just then, time stopped.

The bear froze, the forest was silent, the river even stopped moving.

 

A bright light shone upon the man, and a voice came out of the sky saying,

"You deny my existence all of these years, teach others I don't exist and

even credit my creation to a cosmic accident and now do you expect me to

help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

 

The atheist, ever prideful, looked into the light and said "it would be

rather hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years, but

could you make the bear a Christian?"

 

"Very well", said the voice. As the light went out, the river ran, the

sounds of the forest continued and the bear put his paw down.

 

The bear then brought both paws together, bowed his head and said, "Lord I

thank you for this food which I am about to receive.