A SMALL BUT POWERFUL VAISNAVI

Pankaja_Dasa · February 5, 2005

I saw this before. I forget the link. I was going to send this to another devotee. He said he didn't want it. I think maybe its painful to read it.

Memorial by Jayasri devi dasi (mother)

I would like to start out by offering my respects to Srila Prabhupada who once sent me a letter telling me that Krsna would provide specifically. Radha Govinda was one of these specific gifts.

I was already the mother of two boys, born into the movement, and I was living near the Honolulu temple. My husband, Premarnava das, had just left for India for a few months so I was alone and 6 months pregnant. I was healthy and I was going to the airport several days a week to distribute books, preach and collect funds for the temple.

One afternoon while I was standing in front of the temple I realized that my "water" had just broke and I called my doctor. Immediately I was taken to the main OB hospital in Honolulu where I was to remain in complete bed rest. Needless to say my life became a bit topsy turvy. What was going to happen? My husband was gone, my kids needed to be taken care of and I was told my child was going to die. Of course, as usual in such circumstances a devotee turns to Krsna for help. And help He did. Sarva and Kunti, of ISKCON World previously known as the ISKCON World Review, kindly took my children Vasudeva Ghosh and Govinda Ghosh who were only 4 and 5 yrs at the time. The sankirtan devotees mercifully brought me books to read and prasada daily on their way to the streets. So there I was. All I could do was rest, chant and read. I read about 7 of Prabhupada's books in two weeks. Not only that I also had a continuous stream of preaching engagements coming into my room to hear all about Krsna Consciousness. Doctors, cleaning ladies, nurses, there was no lack of preaching.

In the meantime my doctor came to see me and told me that every doctor in the hospital, except him, wanted to "pit" the baby. That is a short term for abort. They all decided that because I was only 6 months along that there was no way the child would live. I said, "no, I'm sorry but none of you know the fate of this living entity. You're not going to touch the child. “My doctor agreed also. So there I was on my back preaching, chanting, reading etc. when the head of the hospital came in and guess what? He just happened to be an old high school classmate of mine and he said he would personally take me for rides in the wheelchair and have the hospital kitchen make me any special vegetarian dishes I wanted. There was also a devotee who worked near by and who sent different health food supplements to help us get strong and Charunjib das who brought me fresh wheat grass juice daily. I was really set. Krsna did provide for me specifically. I couldn't have asked for anything more.

The only thing left to do was wait. After two weeks past I went into labor naturally. Again my doctor, Dr. Fujimoto, came and told me that the child was not going to live and that I myself had become very weak and infected internally. You see my history was that I had already had two Cesarean births. He said if I tried to save the child by having another one, I would die and the child would die. If I had a regular birth, I would live and the child would die any way. What was the choice?

The child was born and lived thru the night. She had a lot of infection in her lungs. Daily my doctor came and told me she had very little chance to survive. In these type of circumstances one can't help but realize that these children are not ours and that they are souls who belong to Krsna and who's fate is in Krsna' hands. I had to let go.

She weighed only 2 ½ pounds (1.1 kg) and was in the intensive care unit in an incubator. I didn't know if she was going to live or die so I named her Radha Govinda. I wanted the nurses who took care of her to chant to her so I thought to name her Hare Krsna but decided on Radha Govinda. I put pictures of Krsna all over her incubator and made her tiny clothes out of Deity Prasadam. I was trying to give her the best chance I could to be around Krsna. I guess it worked. She got better and bigger and the nurse who took care of here ended up buying Srila Prabhupada's books. I also recovered and in due course we both were released from the hospital.

Radha Govinda grew to be a beautiful, intelligent, and devoted child. She was, in my opinion and many other devotees who knew her, a special soul. When ever I took her anywhere at least one person would approach me and ask me whom she was or would say how beautiful she was. She was never jealous, nor interested in mundane things, nor troublesome or problematic in any way. She was a joy to be around. She only and always sang or played Krsna's pastimes.

There were a few other times in her life when I was brought to the same point of surrender about her living or dying. Once when she was two, we were driving 65 mph on the freeway. Radha Govinda was secure in her car seat and I rolled up the window next to her. A few minutes later I turned around to see my oldest son Vasudeva holding her, by her foot with the rest of her body out the window. Somehow she had unfastened her car seat and opened the window and was falling out when Vasudeva saw her and grabbed he by the foot.

The next time was when she was three and I had brought my three children to the evening program at the Honolulu temple. We were in the temple at Arotik and Govinda, my second son, went into the kitchen and brought out the puri dough. While Radha Govinda was watching the arotik I took Govinda back to the kitchen to replace the dough. We returned within 4 minutes to find that Radha Govinda was no longer in the arotik. I looked for her within the temple room, then out in the entrance way and around the immediate area. I couldn't find her. Right in front of the temple is a small private parking lot, which leads to a small lane. I started looking everywhere. It was starting to get dark and devotees noticed that I was very worried about her where a bouts. Everyone started looking. Devotees were inside, and outside looking and calling for her. After about half and hour I was frantic, Krsna help. What can I do? She is Yours. Her fate is in your hands. I'm so careful what more can I do. Please help me. One of the devotees who baby sits Radha Govinda, Damiyanti dasi, had a pendulum. She said it pointed out the gate onto the lane. I went out the gate and down the street. As I went out a police car drove by and I stopped him. "Please help me, my daughter is missing." He said that there was a report or a little girl who had walked on to the highway at the bottom of the lane and had been rescued by a couple in a car. I went with him down the lane and there was Radha Govinda. What a situation. I was so happy to see her.

To me, Krsna was always pointing out that she was His. That no matter how hard I tried to protect her that her ultimate fate was up to Him. "BG "All living entities belong to Me, they are in Me and are Mine"

Now don't forget that I had two other children who were very active boys but never did they get into these types of situations where I wondered if they were going to live or die. I feel that Krsna was just preparing me for the inevitable. Radha Govinda was destined to go Home.

It was Friday the 13th 1981, we were living down the street from the Detroit temple. Radha Govinda was 3 1/3 years old and it was Srila Prabhupada's appearance day. We got up early and Radha Govinda and I went to the temple. She was in such a special and devoted mood. One of her favorite friends, her uncle Gourabhumi das, was just leaving the temple after doing all night guard duty. She usually would do anything to be with him but not this morning, she was in a hurry. She wanted go to the temple to the arotik. She was ecstatic. She loved the temple. We stayed for the whole morning program, then we went home. She was tired, but she found out that I was going to cook special Prabhupada cookies for Srila Prabhupada, and also one of his favorites Loki leaves and squash. She wanted to help. She formed the cookies and helped with the picking of the squash. We had a wonderful devoted time. Then it was time again to go to the temple for the push panjali ceremony.

Detroit temple had a lot of devotees and money at the time, and we had buckets of rose petals. Her father Premarnava led a wonderful Guru Puja and kirtan and Radha Govinda was ecstatically dancing and throwing flower petals the whole time. She was totally absorbed in Prabhupada and the Holy Name. When it was finished I went to transfer the Lords plates. She came with me. I gave her a nice plate of Maha Prasadam and she sat and ate while I washed the dishes.

She was playing with some of her friends and they wanted to go up to the outside wall of the pool to pick flowers. I said it was ok for her to go, and I was down the walkway with my new baby, 6 month old Abhay Charan das. Now the pool is in the gardens of the Detroit temple and it has a 6-foot fence around it and a locked pool house. There is no entry to the pool. The kids went to the outside wall and picked some flowers and came down the walkway by me. Where was Radha Govinda? I asked the children. "Where is Radha Govinda?" They didn't know. Baby in arm I went up to the wall but found no Radha Govinda. I stared to look for her around the area, calling as I looked. I started to leave and decided to check the pool. Usually the door was locked but this time there was a hired man working in the pool house. I asked him if he had seen a young girl. He said that no one had come thru the door except me. I started to leave but I decided to check the pool. I went in the pool area and looked carefully over the pool and saw no sign of her, but out of the corner of my eye I noticed that one slat of the wooden fence had fallen down leaving a 10" opening. I left the pool area on my search for Radha Govinda. I looked inside and out. Premarnave was resting in the hall, after leading the kirtan. I asked him if he had seen her. He hadn't. I again went outside and as I approached the pool area again I heard one of the ladies say, ‘they pulled her out”. And as my eyes met hers she could say no more. Then I knew what had happened. The rest was a bit foggy. Akilananda and Premarnava did the needful. The ambulance came and took her away. I was left with my baby and my brother in law to help me. I went home and talked to the “karmi” neighbors who all broke down in tears of hearing about the situation. Radha Govinda touched the hearts of everyone who met her. One of them, Marge said to me, “Jayasri if I was you I'd be banging my head on the! ground, what do you have that is keeping you so calm?” I replied that it was knowledge about life and how it works and taught in the BG. She said "Give me some of those books I need them." She bought a Gita and read it.

A few hours later I received a call that Radha Govindas heart was beating so I went to the hospital and found her AGAIN in the intensive care unit, AGAIN in the same type of breathing machines as at her birth. She was unconscious. She was lying there with garlands, sandalwood and tulasi on her forehead and there was a tape of Srila Prabhupada singing. The whole place was transformed into Vrindaban. She was in a room with 4 other children who were in critical condition. Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse etc, surrounded them all. I was very sad to see the ignorance of the parents that when their child was dying all they could provide was a Disney character to protect them. The nurses and doctors were asking deep questions like, “What is death?” Four of the nurses who were there for several hours all went to the temple when their shift was finished. The priest came in and the only thing he could say was, “Well it looks like you have everything under control!” He was right! Krsna and Srila Prabhupada were there for Radha Govinda. She was safe.

Chandrashekar prabhu came to spend the last few hours with Premarnava at the hospital. He put Srila Prabhupada's books in each of her extended little hands. He read to her. Then, five minutes before the end of Srila Prabhupada's appearance day she peacefully left.

The hospital was supposed to do an autopsy but they wouldn't touch her body in that way. They put her little body and the books in the proper receptacle and off it went to the morgue.

The next day Premarnava had to go to the morgue to identify the body. When he went the man showed a picture of her face. She had a slight smile. Then the man said, “Sir I don't know who you are or who this child is, but may I have the books in her hands.” That day he received the mercy of Guru and Gouranga.

The day was Saturday and no funeral home does cremations on that day in Detroit, but one of them agreed to do it for us. We went in a small caravan to the funeral home where Radha Govinda's body peacefully lay. I dressed her in her "dancing dress" which was a yellow full skirted dress made from Deity remnants from Lady Subhadra. We followed the Hurst to the burial gardens where her body was offered to the fire and we had a kirtan for her departure.

Later that day Akilananda, Premarnava and myself sat on the benches in front of the Detroit temple. It was a sunny warm day with not one trace of clouds in the sky. All of a sudden it started raining and Akilananda said , “This happened once before, when another vaisnavi left her body and Srila Prabhupada said that when it rains and there are no clouds that means that the Demigods are showering flowers.” We were all in amazement.

That night was Saturday night and the Detroit temple was hosting 500 Indian congregational members for the Janmastami celebration. Everyone was very busy with preparations. We were still stunned by the unexpected departure of our daughter but Premarnava was supposed to play Krsna in the evening drama so he tolerated his difficulties and played the part with precision and grace. The evening went well, with the support of the devotees and the festivities going on. All of the devotees loved Radha Govinda and it was a difficult time knowing that someone whom we all loved and who inspired us so much was now gone.

We had a special feast in her honor two days after the cremation. All the devotees cooked and made special speeches about Radha Govinda, better known and Radhe.

Srila Prabhupada said to one of my god sisters when her baby was still born, when a child is conceived in this movement and leaves before they are five, it means that they are just finishing up the last of their karma and going back to Godhead. We were all satisfied that this was the case with Radha Govinda. We all knew that she was an advanced soul whom we were given the privilege to associate with.

Krsna gave me the close association of such a special soul along with the preparation for her leaving. She was a blessing of devotion and I feel very fortunate to be a recipient of that mercy.

So ends the true life tale of Krsna's small devotees her grace Radha Govinda devi dasi

Written by her loving mother,

Jayasri dasi