I want to surrender to Krishna but I am scared

[Guest guest]

I am scared of myself, I surrendered to krishna so many times and everytime I do something stupid and ask for his forgiveness and then I feel guilty and then I forget about the idea of surrendering and then I come back again to surrender to krishna. Why does this happen to me? Now I want to surrender to krishna, I went to a Bhagavad Gita lesson today, it was nice but I am not that advanced. I want to surrender to him but I am scared that I might again do something that might be adharmic or displeasing to him. Does any one know what I am talking about? What should I do? please help, I don't want to disappoint myself or krishna anymore.

[Guest guest]

Krsna loves us more than we can ever know. He's not a boogie man. No fear.

One step to him A thousand steps to you

Everyone has some apprehention in surrender, after all we been hanging on to this false self for so many lives.

 

Check this out if you would like some inspiration

http://www.mandala.com.au/prapanna/preface.html#TWO

[jayaisvara]

I hope these quotes might be of some help to you. They are a collection of replies from the Editor at www.swami.org which is Swami BV Tripurari Maharaja's website:

 

a strong desire to be a great Devotee

 

Sanga Question via Website

 

Dear respected Srila Tripurari Maharaj, my most humble obeisances unto your lotus feet.

 

I don't know how to express this properly but I will try. In my mind there is constantly a very strong desire to become a "Guru" or "Acharya" or "great Devotee". I know that this desire is the worst of all, it is desire for name and fame. Most probably I just want to imitate great devotees and thereby gain appretiation from others. I know that this is wrong, but still I cannot give up these thoughts although I am trying hard. I also many times feel strong urge to tell everyone that they are wrong and Krishna conciousness is right, because I can theoreticaly/intelectually understand and have strong belief that this can really solve all problems and bring all good. But to speak frankly I'm miserable myself. I can see that I want to help all others, but at the same time I cannot even help myself. What can or what should I do? My Guru Maharaj adviced me to regularly do sravan-kirtan with a view to please Supreme Lord, not to give "speeches" only to satisfy others. Is it possible that only I'm not patient enough? In that case I pray for your help and blessings to give me neccesary strengh to follow the instructions of my Guru Maharaj in full.

 

 

Dear das,

 

Swami Tripurari asked me to reply to you. He is pleased with your letter and wants you to know that there is great hope for you in Krsna consciousness. All conditioned souls are under the influence of false ego and material desire, but only a few of them have any understanding of how unfortunate they really are. Those that do have some inkling of this largely feel that others are to blame for their problems. Even amongst devotees, few are willing to fully acknowledge the extent to which they have caused their own unfortunate predicament. It's much easier to point the finger at others then to do what is needed to remedy oneself.

 

The remedy of course is sadhu sanga and Krsna nam, accompanied at every stage by sincere self-analysis. If we take a hard look at ourselves we will be able to stop blaming others for our lack of spiritual progress. Taking that hard look requires a certain amount of humility, which is what attracts Krsna Nam.

Krsna Nam will stay with a person who has humility. There is great hope for such persons regardless of their shortcomings.

 

So be patient and serve your gurudev to the best of your ability. Swami begs you to never give up the chanting of Krsna Nam, regardless of your situation or spiritual condition. Have faith that Krsna Nam will save you, even from yourself. Don't try to be a great devotee, just try to be a good devotee. Being a good devotee is not always easy, but know that in your struggle you have the blessings of Swami, his staff, and all sincere Vaisnavas everywhere.

 

Best wishes, sangaeditor

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worship of Ganapathi

 

 

Sanga Question via Website

 

In the Bhagavad Gita worship of demigods is discouraged. In the Vishnu purana it is said that higher than the worship of Vishnu is the worship of his devotees ( Demigods - since they are Vaishnavs ). I have also read somewhere that Demigods should not be worshipped on the same alter as Lord Krishna. My wife who is not Krishna Conscious has a separate alter where she worships Demigods and has a picture of Lord Krishna on the same alter but I have a separate alter worshipping in the Gaudiya tradition as in all Iskcon centres. In the Nectar of Devotion Srila Prabhupada states that all devotees should start their day by worship of Ganapathi ( Lord Ganesha ) as he removes obstacles to our devotional service. I have personally not seen this anywhere being done in Iskcon. Could this be the reason why so many devotees fall because they are disrespectful to demigods. I have seen this in many lectures around the world. Please explain these contradictory statements.

 

 

 

Dear ******,

 

Regardless of what Srila Prabhupada wrote in Nectar of Devotion, in practical application he never introduced the worship of Ganesa within his movement. Actually he discouraged such worship as evidenced by the following conversation and letters. That statement is in Nectar of Devotion in consideration of ancient norms within Hinduism. Traditionally one worships Ganesa for the removal of obstacles to other types of worship. Thus a devotee may honor or worship Ganesa before he begins his daily worship of Krsna. But in all, it is the worship of Krsna that is important. If one does worship Ganesa it should be done with the understanding that Ganesa is a servant of Krsna. Also the scriptures say that ideally one should not worship Krsna for material gain. Neophyte devotees who are interested in material gain might worship the demigods for such things, but that should be done with the understanding that the demigods bestow material favors by the power of Krsna.

 

So continue to worship Krsna on your alter along with a picture of Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. Also be sure to chant Hare Krsna and associate with devotees. Your wife may worship Krsna on the same alter as the demigods, but for the best spiritual results she should worship with the understanding that Krsna is supreme. If she is not able to accept this intellectually then she should be encouraged to chant Hare Krsna during her worship and at other times throughout the day. Actually you should do this together at some point every day. Chanting Hare Krsna together will purify your hearts and through purification everything will fall into place.

 

The idea that some devotees fell down because they did not worship Ganesa is incorrect. Devotees fall down because of material desires or Vaisnava aparadha--offences to Vaisnavas. Of the two the latter is more dangerous. Bhaktivinode Thakura says that one should not look for faults in devotees nor should one criticize devotees because of accidental falldowns. Devotional service is eternal....there may be many falldowns along the way...but Bhagavad Gita says that for one who begins the path of devotion, success is assured.

 

Best wishes, sangaeditor