Diksa...and everything falls apart

[Sunanda]

I took Diksa initation this summer and since then, everything is more difficult:

internally: lots of struggle of the mind

Externally: can't find a job, problems in my couple...

 

I'd like some of you so share their experiences as my other Godbrothers seems to have the same problems.

 

Thanx

[Pankaja_Dasa]

 

 

I know exactly what you mean Prabhuji.

 

After Dikya I thought now everything will be ok. But it's a process. Remember Pandavas? How much trouble they went through. Maya doesn't stop attacking because you now have Dikya. She knows people are still lazy even after accepting spiritual master. Though a devotee told me that Krishna does help in ways we don't know about. The devotee told me Krishna fulfilled his desires he had even before he thought of them [i know that doesn't make sense].

 

I feel we get lazy after initiation [i did and still am]. But you still have to be determined. Dikya doesn't mean Krishna will NOW give a job, Krishna is FULLY independent He knows what's best for us. Don't worry I think you will be ok. A devotee told me when Krishna desires to do something, it happens. How it happens nobody knows. I suspect even Maya-devi has no idea what's going on when Krishna does so. What to say about us conditioned souls haha. Haribol!

[stonehearted]

I don't know what people expect to happen when they take initiation. It is the beginning of a life committed to spiritual progress. Did you think all obstacles would be cleared, as if by magic? Now's your opportunity to make real progress. But now you have backup; your spiritual master can help, if you surrender. Srila Sridhar Maharaja suggests a way to overcome these problems:

 

" Responsible service can help us avoid falling prey to lust, anger, and other enemies of devotion. Foremost among our protectors is faith, sraddha. Next comes sadhu-sanga, association with pure devotees, and bhajana-kriya, deep engagement in the duties prescribed by the divine master. Deep engagement is necessary, especially for the mind, not merely the body.

 

Mental engagement can be attained only by responsibility. Some responsible service is given to the disciple. We feel the weight and it occupies our thoughts; we cannot but think about it. The mind is engaged there, surely. Thus, the mind gets no chance to dwell on lower things. This is the beauty of deep engagement in responsible service. In the practical sense, that helps us a great deal. Then association and scriptures will really be of substantial benefit to us: as service (pariprasna, sevaya).

 

As much as we are able to engage in deep, responsible service, the effect of our impure tendencies will be minimized. They will come and peep, and will step back when they discover that we are deeply engaged. We have no time to give attention to lust and anger; we cannot be enticed. In this way, they will have to retreat. Then if they return once, twice, thrice or more, we may not spare any attention for them. We will be very deeply engaged in seva.

 

Seva, service, should not be merely physical; there is mental seva, and only responsibility can capture the mind. In responsibility, the mind is compelled to think on the matter; otherwise, the mind may be free to wander hither and thither even while the body is apparently engaged. So engage the mind in deep service, responsible service.

 

What is necessary is the dissolution of the separate interest activity. Then one will emerge into the all venerable, all respectful world—no connection with the lower things. We are servants of the servant of the servant. We are the lowest; all others are higher. We shall come into contact with all higher substance, and the lower substance of concoction will vanish for all time."

 

Further, Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu instructs Srila Sanatan Gosvami that taking shelter of a bona fide spiritual master is the basis for spiritual progress:

 

"On the path of regulative devotional service, one must observe the following items: (1) One must accept a bona fide spiritual master. (2) One must accept initiation from him. (3) One must serve him. (4) One must receive instructions from the spiritual master and make inquiries in order to learn devotional service. (5) One must follow in the footsteps of the previous acaryas and follow the directions given by the spiritual master."

 

You will certainly benefit by inquiring from your guru how you can progress on the path of surrender. What did your guru instruct you to do when he gave you initiation? (Are we talking about "first initiation," sometimes called harinama initiation, or mantra-diksa, "second initiation"?) Whatever he told you to do should be taken as your life and soul. Srila Viswanatha Cakravarti Thakura writes in his commentary on Bhagavad-gita 2.41 (vyavasayatmika buddhir / ekeha kuru-nandana) that it is the duty of a disciple to strictly follow the orders of his spiritual master: "The instructions that my gurudeva has given me about sravanam, kirtanam, smaranam, pada-sevanam, etc. of Sri Bhagavan are my very sadhana, my very sadhya and my very life. I am unable to relinquish them in either the sadhana stage or in sadhya. My single desire and only engagement is to follow them. Besides this, I have no other desire or engagement, even in my dreams. There is no loss for me, whether by following these instructions I attain happiness or misery, or whether my material life is destroyed or not."

 

Following the specific instructions of our spiritual master, dedication to service, and good association will give us the strength to do what needs to be done.

[theist]

I never took formal initiation and spiritual rebirth still is something existing in the future for me. I have all those problems anyway so I am not convinced diksa is the source of your woes. Maybe though. Perhaps Krsna turned up the heat.

[Guest guest]

This is an excellent appraisal of the situation by Kindhearted, We have to ask ourselves why we took initiation to start with. Did we think that there was a secret garden on the other side that only initiates were relishing like the freemasons, that we would be accepted into the inner sanctum of the spiritual world?

Well yes and no, it's true that great fortune and opportunity will open to us if ones spiritual master is plugged into the centre and that is only to be understood on an individual basis.

We should ask ourselves not what connection to guru has done for us, but rather what have we done for our Master, many come to this process with so many diverse motives.

 

Ultimately as SH has mentioned service is the key it may start out conditional but eventually Krsna will demand complete unconditional sacrifice. No matter how we are treated, still I will love and serve my Master and Lord come hell or high water, to know They are there for us even when it appears we've been abandoned, forsaken, left to die in the desert.

Endless trials are inevitable for we are baddha jivas who are burning off the sediment of this reactionary world, we we are not siddha mahatmas, where even our pain is pleasure, it is thru these difficulties that our sacrificial character is forged in the fires of adversity. Otherwise how can we ever attain unconditional Love. By the exam or tests we have opportunity to matriculate and progress to the higher levels.

So we come to the feet of a genuine teacher because we are imperfect and are in need of their help to adjust our wayward life back to the perfect world, gradually for some, very swiftly for others.

But you can be certain that the process is accelerated when we decide to take that step of initiation. In a sense, if you try to follow the directives of guru, the Lord will certainly help speed up the pain to pass, Krsna tends to make the world somewhat uncomfortable for those He loves, so that we won't stay away from Him too long.

Bhakti, i.e. service to the saddhu and vaisnavas is the only answer to dissolve the anathas of karmic repercussions.

It's like we have turned off the fan, but it will still take some time to stop turning. Just because a thief gives up stealing it doesn't mean they won't be stolen from.

 

 

aslisya va pada-ratam pinastu mam

adarsana marma-hatam karotu va

yatha tatha va vidadhatu lampato

mat-prana-nathas tu sa eva naparah

 

Translation By Srila Sridhara Maharaj

 

Krsna may embrace me in love or trample me under His feet. He may break my heart by hiding Himself from me. Let that debauchee do whatever He likes, but He will always be the only Lord of my life.

 

Illumination

 

This is the greatest medicine for the devotees. We have come to measure the immeasurable, but we must always embrace this principle. In attempting to connect ourselves with the infinite Lord of love and beauty, we must remember that He is infinite. He is the only one to us, but He has many devotees like us to deal with. He may embrace us with much affection and adoration, but we must be prepared for the opposite. We may stick to His feet, but He may cruelly trample us. We have caught hold of His holy feet with great hope, with our whole heart; still we may find that He tramples us and does not care for all our attempts and affection.

 

We may be giving our best and find that our offering is being hatefully dishonored. He may embrace us, but at the same time we must be prepared that His dealings may be extremely cruel. He may trample all our offerings beneath His feet. We must be prepared for both His adoration and His hateful negligence. We should be prepared for any adverse circumstances.

 

Krsna may be indifferent. He may not care. And when He is punishing us. He is nearer, but when He is indifferent it is even more intolerable than punishment. The devotee thinks, "Krsna is ignoring me, neglecting me so much that He does not like to keep any connection with me. Doesn't He know me? Am I a foreigner, unknown to Him?" We may accept punishment as a boon, but indifference is even more heart-rending.

 

Divine love means mercy, and not justice. There is no law there. And we have selected divine love to be our highest fortune, so we must be prepared to be treated without justice. There is no justice in divine love; it is free. It may flow anywhere and everywhere. This is the very nature of divine love, so we can't make any claim— we have no rights.

 

This is the nature of the highest thing, and it is extremely rare. But unhesitating adherence to that principle is required from our side. It is real love, and you must be prepared for that. In all adverse circumstances, this is the real nature of krsna-prema: die to live. If you can accommodate all these different stages, good or bad, then you can enter this exalted plane.

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Hurrah!!!!!

diksa is only the beginning, wait a few years and you will see it getting more and more difficult.

diksa IMO is the sorting out of the chaff from the corn. you will notice that everythijng will become more difficult.

be happy with it and realise that it is also a purification. good luck with your mind, but better control it. be determined and stiuck with the process, however difficult. the rewards are worth it.

[theist]

 

Just because a thief gives up stealing it doesn't mean they won't be stolen from.