HH BHakti Tirtha Swami

[Guest guest]

Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

 

 

 

At the present time I am still trying a few more alternative treatments

as the allopathic Doctors have said that there is really nothing they

can do at this point other than expect me to pass in a short time. It

seems that nothing we have done either allopathic or alternative has

really been able to fully stop the cancer. But the alternative

treatments do seem to slow it down temporarily. We're being very

aggressive at this time because the cancer, once again, seems to be

spreading. My concern of course is not so much my own health but more

importantly, the health of our institution, the health of my disciples

and in general, how my life and my impending death can create value in

helping us all to connect deeper as vaisnava sadhus, how to serve and

protect eachother better, to live our lives with much more compassion

and to live in such a way that we help to minimise the sufferings of

others whilst we strengthen our own abilities to connect with

transcendence.

 

 

 

I am excited, full of gratitude and I see everyday how I'm being so

blessed by Guru and Krsna's mercy. Srila Prabhupada has blessed me and

Krsna has been so kind to me, far beyond my worth. Even my terminal

illness is a blessing in disguise.

 

 

 

Yours in Srila Prabhupada's Service

With Love

Bhakti Tirtha Swami

PS Please remind the devotees about the prayer that I asked them to make

last year in Mayapur when I gave class after the installation. The

prayer is basically that we ask Srila Prabhupada to bring us whatever

experiences we need to have that will allow us to fully please him and

to take away whatever is necessary to allow us to be better servants in

his institution.

[Guest guest]

Health Update 20/03/05

 

Dear devotees,

 

Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Gurudeva and Srila Prabhupada.

 

As you know from the previous update, Gurudeva's cancer had somewhat flared up in the lymph nodes and muscle in the left upper thigh area since the festival. Since the festival he has been continuing his intense treament programme and a restricted diet as a means to slow down the cancer and potentially facilitate one last visit to some yatras.

 

Gurudeva takes a lot of his medications via a catheter which inserts directly into the left side of the heart. About 10 days ago Gurudeva noticed that just above the catheter, he was experiencing some throbbing and tenderness. This then progressed to a swelling over his left collar bone a few days ago. Thinking the cather may be infected, a few of us went to the hospital with Gurudeva yesterday, with a view to having the catheter removed. The doctor who took a look at the swelling wanted a scan to see what the swelling was before he decided whether or not the catheter needed to come out. Whilst waiting for some blood tests prior to the scan, Gurudeva went to support his brief case with his left hand when the next thing he heard was a 'crack' and he suddenly jerked back in pain. Gurudeva was in a lot of pain, the swelling had become bigger and he couldn't move his left arm very well. In light of this, the scan was arranged for more quickly. We were all very worried that Gurudeva may have broken something but no one was prepared for what the scan found. It turned out that the swelling was infact a bone tumour on the left collar bone as a result of the cancer now having spread to the bones. The tumour had eaten away at so much of the collarbone that only a thin layer of normal bone was left and this is what had cracked. So the cancer is now in the lymph nodes, muscle and bones. Gurudeva's left arm is now in a sling and it is unlikely it will heal. He currently has limited movement in the left side of the body due to the fracture of the collarbone and his amputation. He feels that he is going to leave much sooner than we all expected or hoped for. He has cut down on lot of his previous treatments but is continuing with a few simple things to try and slow down the cancer in order to settle a few loose ends.Gurudeva gave a beautiful and powerful class today in DC from his new book Beggar 4 - Die before Dying which will be available in 6 weeks. The class will be available to listen to on monday on www.btswami.com

 

Gurudeva's internal meditation has become very deep and his expressions of humility are heart rendering. His main concern after the news was that he didn't want to be burden or disturbance to anyone. He has so much deep love for everyone but he is concerned that many of us will have a lot of difficulties in our devotional lives during and after this transitition. If we can try and take shelter of eachother and ISKCON as a whole more, shelter of the holy names more deeply and co operate with eachother better this would please him very much. Gurudeva was saying in class today that the best way to keep anyone alive is by following their instructions and exemplifying their teachings not just individually but also as a community.

 

We thank you all for your continuing instense prayers and love - they are much needed at this time

 

Yours in the Service of Guru and Gauranga

 

With Love

 

Your aspiring Servant

 

Citi-Sakti Devi Dasi

[Guest guest]

May our best wishes, Srila Prabhupad and Krsna go with him.

[Guest guest]

So sad that he is having such a painful time. It is glorious how these pioneers of ISKCON use everything that happens to then to teach others....Looks like they believe in going with their boots on.

[krsna]

Health Update 20/03/05

 

Dear Devotees,

 

Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

 

Here is some dialogue that Bhurijana and myself have been having. I think most of you would find this reflection beneficial as well. Please don't think that whatever you write me is going to appear on a conference, but in a few cases, if I feel it would be beneficial to share, I will post only after getting your permission.

 

Bhurijana Prabhu:

The question has to do with the suffering you have seen and are seeing devotees undergo. You're desire is to alleviate their suffering. Can that be done other than assisting devotees to uplift their consciousness? Can suffering be removed from the physical level?

 

On the mental level, it seems to me that only by faithfully, trustingly accepting that one is loved by Krsna and that all is His good will and mercy--including one's mental sufferings--can lead one beyond that suffering. And one has to unentangle oneself from and disbelieve one's false thinking and pointing to other causes other than Krsna's mercy. That is an exalted stage of consciousness, as far as I know, and preaching about it to others if far easier than acting on that platform. At least I've seen that with myself. Well, what is your conclusion?

 

My Response:

I really see your question as a way to help me with some clarification also. Basically being in the material world is synonymous with suffering so how much can one's suffering be minimised when you consider adiatmika, adidevika and adibhautika. Developing higher consciousness gives us greater understanding, which allows us to somewhat transform that suffering. Also when we feel loved, our own suffering seems more tolerable. Even just to know that someone is trying to help us, even if they, can't makes our suffering more tolerable. And sometimes to see that someone is suffering more than we are makes our own suffering more tolerable. The last case scenario is that when the Lord sees that one of his servants is suffering or making a request he will find various ways to intervene.

 

After I leave the body you will see some more obvious ways of how my suffering will positively affect the movement. As you reflect on all of the above, it will somewhat answer your questions from my limited perspective.

 

Yours in Srila Prabhupada's Service

With Love

Bhakti Tirtha Swami

 

[Guest guest]

Health Update 01/04/05

 

Dear Devotees,

Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Gurudeva and Srila Prabhupada.

 

Since the last report Gurudeva's cancer had continued to spread rapidly. Just within the last two weeks he has developed multiple, rapidly growing tumours in the residual limb and a tumour in the cervical spine. The tumours in the left thigh and in the left collar bone continue to enlarge. We suspect that there may also be some activity in the liver. He is confined to his room most of the time due to movement being restricted on the left side of the body and is either in his bed or in his chair which requires the assistance of Dhruva Maharaja or Ekavira prabhus. He is also losing his apetite and can only sleep for an hour at a time during the night. Whats amazing is that he hasn't taken a single pain killer yet and looking at him you would think that everything I've just said is in referance to someone else! He remains effulgent and strong in his voice and presence. He is continuing with Rife, Ozone and B17 therapies along with various nutritional formulations for palliative purposes which are really hard work for him, what to speak of the fact that he is continuing to read his emails, although he answers very few. He has been meeting with various Godbrothers and Godsisters and a few of his disciples and well wishers have been coming to read to him here in Washington DC. Gurudeva even managed to make it to Potomac temple in a wheelchair for Gaura Purnima last friday and gave a wonderful class with H.H. Indrayumna Swami. We are realising more and more each day how not only has Gurudeva taught us how to live but is also teaching us all how to die - on the battlefield! One out of many examples of this is a couple of weeks back when we went to give him his emails, we found him appearing to be totally weak, drained and feeling very nauseous. When we suggested that he should maybe leave the emails until the next day he simply smiled, chuckled and said 'no I'll do them now. I want to die on the battlefield!'

 

Gurudeva went to see the cancer specialists today and also the team dealing with his prosthesis. The cancer specialists just confirmed what we already knew, that there is nothing that can be offered at this stage which is curative but there are measures which can be taken to make the process less painful and uncomfortable.

 

We will be leaving for Gita Nagari tomorrow and I will keep you updated as things progress.

 

Gurudeva will be sharing another one of his meditations from Beggar 4 at the Sunday Feast lecture in a couple of days so keep an ear out for this on www.btswami.com on monday evening.

 

Yours in the Service of Guru and Gauranga

 

With Love

 

Your aspiring Servant

 

Citi-Sakti Devi Dasi