Controling my sexual urges?

[Guest guest]

I am very ashamed to speak of this, but this is a very hard part of a semi-devoties life, who is trying to elvate himself and advance in his spirtual platform.

 

I dont know how to control my sexual urges, I feel so ashamed, and I always apologize to lord krishna, I do not want to, but the desires are so strong and it happens. I do not want to do it but i have such difficualty in controling it.

 

What is the best way to get rid of this urges what should i think off? What should I do?

[Sunanda]

Dear guest !

this is the problem we all face. I really can relate to yo because i was so worried about it for a good while. I started practicing Krsna Consciousness and i had friends who were all monks. Of course nobody around me was interested to regulate their lifes according to KC philosophy.

 

I started chanting. i was a vegetarian and drug-free person before so all this was easy for me. But as most people, i had my girlfriend and we had sex, and i also masturbated sometimes.

 

This was 6 years ago. Now i'm initiated and i try my best to progress. But i've given up the idea of being chaste for now. I've married religiously my girlfriend to regulate things and feel better about it. Sex is sooo difficult to overcome. Also my opinion is that you shouldn't try to follow a so high standard for now. Sex desire is included in the package of the material body.

 

my advice would be:

Chant any rounds you can and try to improve both on quality and quantity.

try to follow the principles of not eating meat and eggs, drink alcohol and smoke.

 

Sincerity is your quality so things will come very gradually. I know so much people who have taken Second initiation like me and that are struggling so much, still masturbating, still having casual sex because the desire is too strong. Of course this is not the ideal attitude, but none of us is perfect, but we try to develop this essential relationship with God, and this is important. Mercy exists and the only qualification to receive Sri Caitanya's Mercy is to be fallen.

 

And one last thing, don't let some devotees bring you down. I've met so many people who told me that i had no choice but to be very strict on sex and everything. But if you look closer this kind of people are struggling more than everyone else and are so insecure that they adopt a fanatic attitude.

 

Try to chant and be happy, that's all !!

 

I hope this can help and encourage you as it helped myself before. You must know that real devotee will always encourage you, no matter how fallen you are. My Guru Maharaja is always encouraging me and i can write him how i feel and he will always answer with love and kindness.

 

I also live in the association of materialistic people, and i have to adapt. So if you feel like writing to me, feel free, my email is silvertouch108@.fr

 

Jay Radhe !!

your dasa: Sunanda

[TheMerkaba]

 

Chapter 2. Contents of the Gita Summarized

TEXT 61

 

tani sarvani samyamya

yukta asita mat-parah

vase hi yasyendriyani

tasya prajna pratisthita

 

SYNONYMS

 

tani--those senses; sarvani--all; samyamya--keeping under control; yuktah--being engaged; asita--being so situated; mat-parah--in relationship with Me; vase--in full subjugation; hi--certainly; yasya--one whose; indriyani--senses; tasya--his; prajna--consciousness; pratisthita--fixed.

TRANSLATION

 

One who restrains his senses and fixes his consciousness upon Me, is known as a man of steady intelligence.

PURPORT

 

That the highest conception of yoga perfection is Krsna consciousness is clearly explained in this verse. And, unless one is Krsna conscious, it is not at all possible to control the senses. As cited above, the great sage Durvasa Muni picked a quarrel with Maharaja Ambarisa, and Durvasa Muni unnecessarily became angry out of pride and therefore could not check his senses. On the other hand, the king, although not as powerful a yogi as the sage, but a devotee of the Lord, silently tolerated all the sage's injustices and thereby emerged victorious. The king was able to control his senses because of the following qualifications, as mentioned in the Srimad-Bhagavatam:

 

sa vai manah krsna-padaravindayor

vacamsi vaikuntha-gunanuvarnane

karau harer mandira-marjanadisu

srutim cakaracyuta-sat-kathodaye

 

mukunda-lingalaya-darsane drsau

tad-bhrtya-gatra-sparse 'nga-sangamam

ghranam ca tat-.-saroja-saurabhe

srimat-tulasya rasanam tad-arpite

 

padau hareh ksetra-padanusarpane

siro hrsikesa-padabhivandane

kamam ca dasye na tu kama-kamyaya

yathottama-sloka-janasraya ratih

 

 

"King Ambarisa fixed his mind on the lotus feet of Lord Krsna, engaged his words in describing the abode of the Lord, his hands in cleansing the temple of the Lord, his ears in hearing the pastimes of the Lord, his eyes in seeing the form of the Lord, his body in touching the body of the devotee, his nostrils in smelling the flavor of the flowers offered to the lotus feet of the Lord, his tongue in tasting the tulasi leaves offered to Him, his legs in traveling to the holy place where His temple is situated, his head in offering obeisances unto the Lord, and his desires in fulfilling the desires of the Lord... and all these qualifications made him fit to become a mat-parah devotee of the Lord." (Bhag. 9.4.18-20)

The word mat-parah is most significant in this connection. How one can become a mat-parah is described in the life of Maharaja Ambarisa. Srila Baladeva Vidyabhusana, a great scholar and acarya in the line of the mat-parah, remarks: "mad-bhakti-prabhavena sarvendriya-vijaya-purvika svatma-drstih sulabheti bhavah.The senses can be completely controlled only by the strength of devotional service to Krsna." Also, the example of fire is sometimes given: "As the small flames within burn everything within the room, similarly Lord Visnu, situated in the heart of the yogi, burns up all kinds of impurities." The Yoga-sutra also prescribes meditation on Visnu, and not meditation on the void. The so-called yogis who meditate on something which is not the Visnu form simply waste their time in a vain search after some phantasmagoria. We have to be Krsna conscious--devoted to the Personality of Godhead. This is the aim of the real yoga.

[Guest guest]

Why is control so important? Do we control hunger or thirst? Sexual impulse is as natural, if I am not mistaken. What one should control is LUST, not impulses. Impulses are natural.

 

Hare Krishna!

[theist]

My problem lies a little deeper. Others may share this state of torture. I very much like the feeling of sexual lust. Gross sex is of course very pleasureable, that is until I think about what it actually is and what it entails. Then it appears to be very...well, gross. Almost like necrophilia in a way.

 

But that whole erotic mood, that sense of being the enjoyer for some reason I never have even tried to give it up. Sometimes while chanting or reading I forget about it in favor of what I am doing but generally it is always there.

 

I guess it is not just a problem that comes with the body and then leaves when we leave the body. It certainly has its subtle component.

[Pankaja_Dasa]

 

 

You know its says In Jaiva-dharma. We have 3 bodies. Spiritual,, Subtle. And Gross. Each one covers each other. Subtle is mind, intelligence, ego, there 3 things are Mandatory, cannot be helped., when coming to this world. Otherwise we'd be coming here as spiritual beings.

 

What I'm trying to say is without discovering our spiritual body. Or getting purified of the false mind, intelligence, ego its not possible or cannot be, to realise our True 'I' ness. Souls. The Subtle body is covered by the gross body [talk about making a bad situation even worse] but look at Ghosts. They STILL have desires.

 

I am not sure if Ghost Bodies are the actual subtle bodies everybody possesses. Just without the Gross body to enjoy matter. Or maybe it's a different kind of a body. Whether it's the same or not it doesn't make any difference. We could easily have a Dogs body. Or a Hog. In the Gita it says these 3 things are Krishna separated Material energies.

 

Lust is within the scope of the mind, intelligence, false ego, it has no relationship with the Soul, and how can it? Lust is degradation. It brings gross happiness of the senses. You know I am understanding about the Senses and how they may work by this method. Its like for example the Subtle body is playing the part of the Soul. And using the material body as 'the spiritual body'. Covered. Problem is the soul is atomic, small. And Maya who controls the Body, ego.. is too strong for us little beings. Even though we are souls and spiritual. But maya is controlling out Subtle, Gross bodies.. it doesn't control the soul. So this Mind, Intelligence, Ego it seems are such an impediment in our path. And what are we doing? Feeding the damn thing!!!!!

 

[theist]

 

...are such an impediment in our path. And what are we doing? Feeding the damn thing!!!!!

 

 

Yeah, like stool eating hogs. It's embarrassing actually.

 

[Guest guest]

You're already doing it, talk more to Krsna about it, we can't control anything as much as we're always trying to. Keep appealing to the supreme controller to make you Goswami, instead of godas. You may fall in and out of it for years depending on your habits but if you really wish to overcome temptation, Krsna will provide the nessacary with time. Otherwise we have to bare with the torment.

The genitals can have such a fascination to those emmersed in lust, but try to see the saints view, that they are nothing but a black vortex riddled with disease, physical, mental and spiritual, that steals your energy and pleasure, rather than giving us any lasting satisfaction.

The mind can be your best friend or worst enemy so use it to contemplate the holy name form and pastimes of Krishna. The more we contemplate the opposite sex in movies, magazines, internet or real life the more we add fuel to the fire.

Try to find some higher association that sees thru the folly of this temporary phantasmogoria.

Otherwise find a partner to marry and have children, they will soon exhaust your energy and burst your illusions as to the relity of this world of procreation.

[Guest guest]

I have read somewhere(in the Siv Purana) that the Vasana(desires and attitudes) are the results of the deeds of the previous births.That story goes like this:One king was a dog in his previous birth and so inspite of being a king,he continued to have sex with every women he met.But the lord didnt see it as a crime at all.The king also knew that he had got this luxurious life through the grace of the Lord.

One who was pious in his previous lives are seen to be divine persons in this life.So nothing to worry.If you really are a devotee He will arise you.

[Mataji108]

What worked for us was to have children, the natural result of sex. More than a few will really cure one very quickly.