Give me my Krishna.............

[vishnumaya]

"Where is Krishna? Where is my Krishna?

He is not in the grove, dear friends.

Give me Krishna! Bring me my Krishna!

Radha's heart knows naught about Him.

 

 

Oh Krishna!Beloved! You are mine.

What shall I say to you,O Lord?

What shall I ever say to you?

Only a woman am I,

And never fortune's favourite;

I do not know what to say.."

 

[Guest guest]

O prana sakhe, the Boy

for whom your heart cries, wailing

Is not the boy your mind conceives

The kind and gentle, caring-

The cowherd has a restless heart

He will not stay at home

He will not hestitate, my girl,

To leave you all alone.

To leave you, girl, in the sea of love

to sink, to drown, alone.

 

But still you love?

[Guest guest]

>>>sea of love

 

 

saraj-jyotsna-sindhor avakalanaya jata-yamuna-

bhramad dhavan yo 'smin hari-viraha-taparnava iva

nimagno murcchalah payasi nivasan ratrim akhilam

prabhate praptah svair avatu sa saci-sunur iha nah

 

In the brilliant autumn moonlight, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu mistook the sea for the River Yamuna. Greatly afflicted by separation from Krsna, He ran and dove into the sea and remained unconscious in the water the entire night. In the morning, He was found by His personal devotees. May that Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, the son of mother Saci, protect us by His transcendental pastimes.

 

 

[Guest guest]

Who would ever have guessed, dear friend, That HE,

A Lover so tender,so divine,

could be a beggar simply for outward Charm?

I was a fool not to have seen it before;

But carried away by His Beauty,

I yearned alone to hold HIs two feet.

 

Now I shall drown myself in Jamuna's stream,

Or take a draught of poison, friend!

Or I shall bind a creeper round my neck,

Or hang myself from a young Tamala tree;

Or, failing all of these,

Destroy my wretced self by chanting Krishna's name.

[Guest guest]

Ever since He left this place

Vraj is not the same- is dead

In fields no milking song is heard

from gopis' milky throats

No nectar-laden voices calling

In flashing molten notes

GOVINDA DAMODARA MADHAVA...

 

Where is Radhe? Our Lalite?

Where is Vishakha pyaari?

They all have sunk beneath the waves

In longing for Murari

In Yamuna's dark waves which gleam

Like Govinda's black arms

Our girls have gone, and now not one

Will now be seen in Govardhan

And Krishna would have wept to see

He would have died in agony.

 

But now in Mathura He roams

Blissful, unburdened, merry.

[Guest guest]

The stone hearted, didn't say a thing,

when we would not let him go,

when we held the wheels of the Chariot,

When some of us lay infront of it.

We begged Akura, who was driving the chariot.

 

The stone hearted didn't say a thing,

when Akura said.....

"Hold not, hold not the chariots wheels!

Is it the wheels that make it move?

The mover of its wheels is Krishna,

By whose will the worlds are moved..."

 

The stone hearted didn't say a thing,

Alas!He has forgotten the milkman's artless daughter.

 

 

[Guest guest]

That stone hearted is a fool in love

Entranced by each woman's art:

The hunchback's plaintive, pitiful smiles

Melted His faithless heart.

The Queens of Dvaraka now serve Him

Trembling, tear in eye,

Only NOW does the scheming, shameless lad

Remember "Praaneshvari Rai."

He feared not to lose her, when he had her,

and now His soft new bride

Has got to tolerate his burning

What good does it now, this sighing and yearning,

but to break the tender heart

of His new bride?

 

You love your wife! You love your wife!

You would not leave her lonely.

Besides that You've a world to save.

We tolerate this, only

Please don't weep before those brides,

We know the heart's true yearning:

What good's it now to whine and cry

And set more hearts a-burning?

You've killed already a thousand girls

a thousand more you should spare.

Don't think of Rai, sitting at Radha Kund

Plaiting, re-plaiting her hair-

"I know Krishna'll come, any moment now..."

...Rai still waits for You there.

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

When Krishna's will moves the chariot

Even the soft body of His loved one, lying before it

Will not stop the turning of the wheels of fate.

 

Better to bend to Krishna will,

than be helplessly thrown about.

We burned with passion having Him with you

Now we'll burn in pain, without.

[Guest guest]

 

When Krishna's will moves the chariot

Even the soft body of His loved one, lying before it

Will not stop the turning of the wheels of fate.

 

Better to bend to Krishna will,

than be helplessly thrown about.

We burned with passion having Him with us

Now we'll burn in pain, without.

[Guest guest]

"We burned with passion having Him with us

Now we'll burn in pain, without. "

Don't say that friend,

I choose not to burn in pain,

This will be a lesson for the stone hearted,

who enjoys when we cry..for him..for the stone hearted..

He doesn't know.. and I will not tell Him..

that,

He is the mirror for the hand,

and he is the flower for Hair.

O Friend, I shall make a flower of Him

And wear Him in my hair;

Under my braids I shall hide HIm,Friend!

No one will see Him There.

 

He is the betel-leaf for the lips,

the sweet collyrium for the eyes;

Oh friend! with him I shall stain my lips,

With Him I shall paint my eyes.

 

He is the sandal paste for the body;

He is the necklace for the neck.

I shall anoint myself with Him,

And he will be close to my throbbing heart.

 

He doesn't know.. and I will not tell Him..

that,

I still sit with Rai near Radha-Kund,

waiting for Him...

 

[Guest guest]

The gopis' separation speaks

of ecstasy of both species

in union and in separation

the burning's sweet in both of these

(or so they say)

 

It has been said, and it may be true

That bliss in separation can be found

But another separation there is...

 

The separation of a girl from the Holy Dham

From the sound of Krishna's Name

From the Hills of Tirumala Fair

From Vraj of shaastric fame.

 

Never to see the tender feet

of Ranganatha oh-so-sweet

Or gaze upon the shining face

of Ranchorji, who gave Meera His grace.

 

Never again to see the sea

At Dvaraka's sandy shores,

Nor Panduranga Vitthalnath,

Nor Rukmini sweet whom He adores,

 

Nor to find before her eyes

Alamelumanga, Venkata's bride.

Or kutti Kanna of Udupi

Never finding ANY devotee

Never to see

Even one person who has heard the name "Hari."

 

This kind of separation pains

And never will subside.

This is not ecstasy, my friend

No No.

This separation is not is not

Any kind of bliss, my friend. /images/graemlins/frown.gif

 

So at Radha Kund, at Shyama Kund

or Svaami Puskharini

At the side of Rai or Padmavati

of Kubja, Satya, or Rukmini

Rupa, Rati, or Ananga-manjari sakhi,

For now it's all the same to me,

Each place is equally far from me...

[Guest guest]

>>>This will be a lesson for the stone hearted,

who enjoys when we cry..for him..for the stone hearted..

 

Krishna is black kajjal

but the gopi applies it not to her eyes,

but writes His Name across her breast

in huge, unmistakeable letters.

 

PRAANESHVARA GOVINDA, MAMA NAATHA

 

When her husband sees the name of his Rival

Does he get angry at Rai?

Hardly.

His own separation from Gopal overcomes him

and he falls to the floor like a hapless puppet

whose strings have been cut by fate's shears.

[Guest guest]

She tries to forget.

The girl whom Krishna left high and dry.

She tries to forget the name He gave her

on a cool summer night when the moon was full of honey

and Krishna's mouth was full of honey

which He gave liberally to all His friends

who just happened to be girls.

 

She tried to forget

The night He called her "sakhi" for the first time

and she gave

a secret gift to her lover

because the moon of His face had drawn

the tide of her heart

but oh, oh, oh

I swear she didn't know

How much His intimacy would hurt

When He would leave without a thought and yet

she just couldn't stop her love.

 

She tries to forget.

She cuts her hair short like a boy's

laughs loudly before her elders

chews and spits betel in the middle of the day

in the middle of the road, rudely,

and sings a crude, bawdy song,

plucking a crushed veena with only one string

which makes only a rough, twanging sound.

 

She tries to forget.

She tries to become disgusting

so that if he is watching, he might turn away.

So that he will not come back and hurt again.

She hates Him, She hates Him

Who'd have ever thought she'd hate Him?

 

She tries to forget.

She takes such trouble to do

All the things He wanted her not to do

And even after so much pain she took

In a dream she saw Him- just that one look

at His peacock feather bobbing from behind

in his shining mukut

was enough to bring back, rushing fast,

all the old love she'd thought buried

in the coarse meat of her dead, black heart.

[Guest guest]

THE GOPI SINGS IN HER FATIGUE

 

Give me my Krishna, Give me my Krishna!

Where is my Krishna, Where is my Krishna?

Why is He gone? When will He come?

Is He really coming? Did I do something wrong?

 

Did I wear my hair the wrong way or

Are my teeth yellow? Did I make Him bored

by dressing in the same old skirt

in the same old blouse and veil? Or

 

was is just the way I needed Him?

Or the way I felt alone?

Or the way I asked too much from Him

When I wandered from my home

 

To see Him in the forest

the night I heard vamsi.

Anyway, He's gone so soon

My youth's now hell for me.

 

Oh friend, why do you listen now,

to separation's weeping song.

Now you speak, my dearest friend,

I've been sad for far too long. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

Tell me a story of happier days

Remind me of times that once were

A simpler time when my only rhyme

Spoke of Him and me and the earth

 

The sky, the trees, the clouds, the breeze,

Yamuna's waves, and Krishna's gaze...

[Guest guest]

"This separation is not is not

Any kind of bliss, my friend."

 

"just that one look

at His peacock feather bobbing from behind

in his shining mukut

was enough to bring back, rushing fast,

all the old love she'd thought buried

in the coarse meat of her dead, black heart."

 

Surely friend, its not a bliss to the least...

When I cry, yamuna flows from my eyes, and I believe I am at braj..

A hunderd times each hour, in and out of the room I go,

restless,breathing hard, I look toward the kadamba grove.

Am i afraid of elders?Have I been possessed by ghosts?

I can not even keep my dress arranged.

People say I have fallen into Krishna's trap..

Is that a disease, can't I be cured..

 

 

"When her husband sees the name of his Rival

Does he get angry at Rai?

Hardly."

 

Her husband combs her hair, decorates her..

I have seen Him..

The fool thinks that Krishna will at least come,

to see his beautiful wife and then,

he can have a glance of Him from the backyard...

Such a fool..I have seen him..

 

 

"Tell me a story of happier days

Remind me of times that once were

A simpler time when my only rhyme

Spoke of Him and me and the earth"

 

Friend ,were you happy any time..

I can't think of any...

Are you not the one, whose neighbours raised a scandal..

for watching Him again and again when He was sitting with others,

Are you not the one Whose neighbours cast aspersions on you.

once when He was standing by the yamuna's bank,

His body bright as the sun and moon,

Charming all with His beauty.

You too had come, to fetch some water..

Do you remember..

And, as You looked from one side,

your water-jar slipped and fell to the ground.

My sister-In-law, the gossip, saw you

and she spread it everywhere..

You loved Krishna.. you can never be happy..

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

>>>The fool thinks that Krishna will at least come,

to see his beautiful wife...

 

the fool keeps Krishna in his heart

as a woman keeps a lover in her heart.

Is it any wonder Abhimanyu is jealous

when Rai is with Kanha?

his two dearmost loves have gone off without him

to enjoy together, alone.

He awakes in the empty bed, middle of the night,

in a cold sweat, his mattress soaked in tears.

...he thinks he hears Their laughter.

 

>>>You loved Krishna.. you can never be happy..

 

The only happiness is to be found in dreams

where not even mother-in-laws prying eyes can reach.

But when a girl is not even sleeping

dreams are thus difficult to achieve....

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

"He awakes in the empty bed, middle of the night,

in a cold sweat, his mattress soaked in tears.

...he thinks he hears Their laughter."

 

Ah friend, but she can no longer laugh,

she can no longer cry,

the smile on her her lips died long back,

her eyes have died too,

she keeps watching that stone,

the stone that once Krishna playfully threw at her,

she keeps watching that stone,

the stone and she have become one...

 

The only happiness is to be found in dreams

where not even mother-in-laws prying eyes can reach.

But when a girl is not even sleeping

dreams are thus difficult to achieve....

 

Its a week since she slept,

her eyes are swollen and dark circles have appeared,

even the street children tease her now..

the other day , that cute little lad,

came to her and said,

"ee maayi, see your krishna has come, heee heeee heeee"

and ran away..

she didn't say a thing.

she keeps watching that stone,

the stone and she have become one...

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

>>>You loved Krishna.. you can never be happy..

 

Unhappy girl, do you remember,

the first day I saw him was my wedding day

New to the village, I walked

at my new husband's side

His whole family was there

So proud of my new status and home

Hoping for a family to call my own

Happy days ahead, and children too

Surely I would love the man

after a year or two- I thought-

 

But then like a slap in the face

all my dreams perished

when my eyes first caressed the soft curve

of his black silhouette against the setting sun

HE looked into my eyes, and burned me.

I trembled, convulsing began to fall

faint against my husband's side

and he held me.

 

The wedding night was a joke

and the next night as well

and all nights therafter spent

sitting up late in the name of "doing chores"

while the family slept.

 

How could I be so stupid

to think that my secret

was really "a secret" at all.

My sister in law spoke bluntly

and frightened me, saying,

"You are poisoned by lust.

You cover your face before that rogue,

but you cannot hide your heaving breath,

trembling hands, flushed cheeks.

Please do not make this family a laughing stock.

Just stay away from the pasture where the boy roves

One more misstep and my mother

will lock you in the home.

Don't think for a moment I'm joking..."

 

[Guest guest]

At the end of a long night Krishna

holds her hand when she turns to go,

"Will you really go back to that fool's house?

Cook his food, sleep in his bed,

will you massage his feet as well

when I am sleeping all alone?

I cannot think of him touching you.

Does it mean nothing to you

that I am crying all day missing you?"

 

Radha felt like tearing her hair.

"Are you mad?

Do you think for one minute

I will let him touch me? My husband

has become like a dead person

and only because of you.

Do you think it is a big party,

a load of fun, or even blandly auspicious

the time I spend with family in the day.

I cannot even milk a cow properly

I'm thinking of you and the milk

sprays about everywhere

makes a mess of my dress.

Just imagine then what kind of food

my husband gets to enjoy

when I put sugar in the sabzi

and salt in the laddu.

Or imagine the kind of companionship

he might enjoy, at night.

Even when I am home,

I am not really at home-

my mind is always with you.

 

Do you think it is all fun and games

the things I have submitted to

and done with you.

Kanha

Every day trapped in that man's house

I feel like throwing myself

from the roof.

Only the thought of our

possible midnight meeting

keeps me breathing.

 

And before you start getting jealous, my friend,

before you talk to me of tears,

I could remind you of all the nights

you promised you would appear-

but at the end of the night as usual

you had been sidetracked by some girl

and appear just before dawn

begging me to make love.

 

"It's too late Kanha, I have to go home!

The sky is already red with the dawn."

And I don't complain you know because

I suppose

if you had spent time with her

she must have loved you so much more

more than I do, or else you would

not be so enchanted by her smiles

feminine wiles and whatever else.

Moreover, why Krishna should you worry

for a stupid village girl like me?

What do you care if I die crying?

Me, the girl who risked her reputation,

nay her very life, just to make you happy,

because you wanted my body so much...

But do I complain? Never.

I only want whatever makes you happy.

 

Now don't look at me with that stupid sad face.

You look like a kid with your lip sticking out...

I'm sorry, I should not speak in this way.

I just hate so much, my love,

when the time comes for us to part.

I get angry, and I don't know what I'm speaking...

Now run home soon before maa yashoda comes

and finds your bed empty.

[Guest guest]

if she has changed her mind yet.

[Guest guest]

"if she has changed her mind yet. "

 

If I were to change my mind,

Why would I still choose to love Him..

If I were to change my mind,

Why would I wait for him..

 

I have drank no ordinary wine..

its the most ecstatic one ,dear

The wine of His name..

I haven't changed my mind..

and I will never.

If I were to change my mind,

Why would I be myself..

wouldn't I become you??

 

 

[Guest guest]

By the way I am vishnumaya and most of the postings including the above are mine.Just that I didn't login.

[vijayalakshmi]

ed

[vishnumaya]

Hello Vijayalakshmi Ma'm,

Gave me nice competition, hmmm..

It was nice.

 

so Krishna's love made us meet.

We can now cry together for the stone hearted..

ha ha ha ha ha

Hare Krishna..

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

no competition at all. /images/graemlins/smile.gif only a duet. /images/graemlins/smile.gif