Gift

[Guest guest]

We just had some people who are Hindu (Vaisnava's they say) move into the community. How could I welcome them appropriately?

[theist]

Be a friend.

[gHari]

 

Every home is beautified by flowers, which could come right out of your garden.

 

[theist]

Is there a temple in your area? Or some community gathering for kirtan? Take them a plate of maha-prasadam along with an invitation.

 

Think about what you would appreciate in their position.

[Guest guest]

As we claim to be students of Vaishnavism, we can't take the line "be yourself", as expounded by Theist. We should try to apply Vaishnava etiquette.

 

Unless like Theist, we pontificate everyday based on the lineage of Lord Chaitanya and when we get to another department, all these heavy pontifications are thrown out the window.

 

Vaishnavism means erring on the side of compassion. BTW, this forum is called audarya meaning magnanimity/compassion. Remember this everyday, theist.

 

We are not here to prove who is the best debater. We are here to try to live Lord Chaitanya's lessons for humanity.

 

Hare Krishna

Myrla

[theist]

Myrla, you don't like my suggestions as to you they are not in line with Vaisnava etiquette. But you didn't explain what that Vaisnava etiquette is.

[stonehearted]

Why not invite them to your place for prasadam and nice conversation? Then you'd be able to find out what sort of Vaishnavas they are. It may be appropriate to offer one of Srila Prabhupada's books as a gift. (It may also be perceived as pushy, but you'd have to see what the mood is.) Do whatever you can to make them feel welcome, to make them feel comfortable in the company of devotees.

 

In Text 4 of Sri Upadeshamrita, Srila Rupa Gosvami says, "Offering gifts in charity, accepting charitable gifts, revealing one's mind in confidence, inquiring confidentially, accepting prasada and offering prasada are the six symptoms of love shared by one devotee and another."

 

If you have Srila Prabhupada's Nectar of Instruction, you might find some inspiration from reviewing Text 4 and its purport.

 

I think the bottom line, though, is to make your new neigbors feel at home with devotees. I remember that, a little over 30 years ago, my wife and I invited the Honolulu temple president and a well-known sannyasi to our home here on the Big Island for dinner. The TP spent much of his time trying to convince us to move bakc to Honolulu, where he said the temple, under his influence, had become a loving community of devotees. ("They all love me!") A few months later, my wife and I went to Honolulu for a few days to visit while Srila Prabhupada was there. Because we had been the head pujaris a couple of years before, and because I was present when Srila Prabhupada installed the Deities (I helped fabricate Them, too), we thought it would be nice if we could do a little service or Their Lordships, like cook an afternoon offering. When we asked if we could, the temple president had a friend inform us (wouldn't even tell us himself) that we could not, because we didn't live in the temple. That, despite the fact that we had a (simplified) temple program at our home on the Big Island that included daily Mangal-arati, daily bathing and dressing the Deities, Srimad-Bhagavatam class, following all the principles, and preaching to our capacity. My immediate reaction was that he had clearly not been honest with me when he visited our home, and that it's probably more inviting to make others feel like family members, rather than outsiders. We ended up moving, all right--to Maui. By the time we moved back to Honolulu, this gentleman was long gone.

[Bhakta Don Muntean]

Hey that is nice you want to give a gift to them!

 

I say that flowers are nice – but they do not last – nor do the usual - sweets baskets etc., - so those are nice but you may be thinking of something - more lasting.

 

So I’ll tell you what I would think a neat gift would be – you can give something nice from your own Faith group – anything like a brass item - say like a cross or a menorah – or depending on your faith - there may be any number of other nice ‘like’ items – as a vaishnava - I like gifts like that – and - they are a sincere kind of gift that will remind your new friends about you and God - at the same time!

 

If I were giving a gift to someone religious - I would probably give something related to faith. You can put some nice incense with it too [with a short note saying "incense for your puja"] (puja is worship) – then they will probably offer it to the Lord on your behalf! Hope this helps?

 

YS,

 

BDM

 

[Guest guest]

I am really disappointed how you behaved in the other thread, theist. I used to read your realizations in full all the time, but to be honest, after your ranting and raving in the other thread (I'm sure we all remember what I am talking about), I am not sure if I will read again any of your KC realizations. But sometimes, it is mercy when we are given the chance to redeem ourselves. I am sure we all are not qualified but we can try, can't we?

 

Sri Sri Siksastaka of Lord Chaitanya

 

trnad api sunicena

taror api sahisnuna

amanina amadena

kirtaniyah sada harih

 

One who thinks himself lower than the grass, who is more tolerant than a tree, and who does not expect personal honour, but is always prepared to give all respect to others can very easily always chant the holy name of the Lord.

 

 

Mantra Six - Sri Isopanishad

He who sees everything in relation to the Supreme Lord, who sees all entities as His parts and parcels and who sees the Supreme Lord within everything, never hates anything nor any being.

 

 

From Jaiva Dharma:

The natural qualities of brahmanas are control of the mind, control of the senses, austerity, cleanliness, satisfaction, forbearance, simplicity, devotion to Sri Bhagavan, compassion for the sufferings of others, and truthfulness.

 

 

Srimad Bhagavatam referred to by Lord Kapila Deva ( Devahuti Nandan ] to His mother Devahuti and applied its inner meaning to their devotional lives. (not sure about the verse number)

 

titikhava karunika

suhrida sarva-dehinam

ajata-satrava santa

sadhava sadhu-bhushana

 

The symptoms of a sadhu are that he is tolerant, merciful and friendly to all living entities. He has no enemies, he is peaceful, he abides by the scriptures, and all his characteristics are sublime.

 

 

Hare Krishna

Myrla

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Myrla, whatever misgivings you have, this thread has nothing to do with your feelings against/for/with Theist. If you have any personal misgivings, why not contact him/her directly instead of posting on a public forum?

 

Anyway... back to the original question by Guest...

 

If i was in your neighbours'/community-members' position i would actually feel a little awkward recieving any gift - but i really like the prasadam idea. A conversation or even just a brief "welcome" visit would be lovely. The greatest gift you can give though is your love... or so the song goes.

 

G.

 

 

[Bhakta Don Muntean]

I think you and the others didn't really get their question?

 

The question was actually asked by a non-hare krishna - as a 'devotee' would not word their question the way it's worded?

 

So they wanted to know 'how' to welcome a vaishnava to their community - with what type of house-warming gift - so the various points about giving a Prabhupada book or maha-prashadam - is not really feasable for this questioner?

 

BDM

[stonehearted]

The question is not clear. It's not clear whether the person asking is a devotee or not, or what kind of community he or she is writing about. It may be the case that the person asking is not even Hindu. So all bases are covered here, perhaps. Thanks for pointing this out.

[theist]

Yeah, reading it again I would have to say you may be right.

 

In which case "be yourself and be a friend", nothing formal required. Basically they are just people in a very new situation and in that case a little friendliness and a welcoming smile go a long way. People are really the same in these situations the world over.

 

Nice of you to be so thoughtful.

[gHari]

Just about any kind of expression of welcome would be appreciated with the following two exceptions: nothing that has required the killing of animals/birds/insects/fish like leather or meat or the head of a moose; and no intoxicants like a bottle of rare wine or a pipe. That leaves it pretty much wide open. I saw a nice bird feeder today with little musical fellows flying around all happy. You could get together and share their happiness.

 

With the above two exceptions, vaisnavas are just ordinary folks whose tastes will likely be very much like yours. They are fortunate people to have such caring neighbours. Please accept my good wishes for both your families.

 

 

[Guest guest]

Before I finally leave this thread, I'd like to say 3 things:

 

1. I read Srila Prabhupad said too much debating is not good for the soul. ( I got reminded when you said stick to the debate. So this forum is a debating arena).

 

2. The foundation of KC is regulations (regulative principles). That is why I said the "be yourself" or free-wheeling attitude is outside the bounds of being a Vaishnava -- that is if we are striving to be one.

 

3. We should be careful what we read/hear. We have to see who is speaking -- his credibility. I remember SP said that the milk tainted by the tounge of a serpent is poisonous.

 

Well, I believe I responded to this thread alright, though tangentially.

 

Hare Krishna

Myrla

 

[Guest guest]

In my (Hindu) home, first-time visitors are given a gift of a sari/dhoti and fruit, presented on a silver platter. This will be done just before the vistors leave, at which time the lady of the house applies some sindhur to the forehead of the female guests.

 

When we visit other Hindus for the first time, we will usually bring a gift of fresh flowers or some other decorative item.

 

The principle is in the gift-giving (& receiving). But if you want to do it in the traditional Hindu (and likely Vedic) way, then a gift of clothing (saris/dhotis), fruit, flowers, etc is usually typical.