I'm going to die

[Guest guest]

help...I'm so depress Everyday I feel so down and alone...What should I do please help me..I know if I kill myself I will go to hell...Am I right? I love krsna but I dont know how a sinfull person like myself can improve? I want to be a pure devotee but how..please help me..

 

your humble servant

[gHari]

honesty is needed.

[Guest guest]

I too feel morbid when I look around myself. Somehow Krishna's words come to me when I'm completely down and out:

 

"One must do his duty. Doing ones duty improperly is better than not doing any work".

 

"There is no loss or diminution on this path".

[renuka]

Life is depressing and that is the truth. Krishna calls this world 'dukalayam', -place of misery. This gives more reason to go back to Godhead. No point in suicidal thoughts as it will only increase the miserable condition.

 

Tolerence and patience are two golden qualities. Take up to chanting of Hare Krishna, read Srila Prabhupada's books, associate with devotees and try to talk about Krishna to others. This will make you happy. Have patience, one who has faith in Krishna is never let down. There is no doubt about that.

[gHari]

Go outside with the grass and the trees. See all the insects and birds. You are not a tiny blade of grass or an insect. You are very fortunate. We are all very fortunate.

 

It sounds like you don't have a lot of attachments. This is a good time to surrender. Surrendering to Krsna is better than surrendering to death.

[Guest guest]

We are just the puppets.All that we do in this life we do it only because our Krishna commands us to do so.So if Krishna wants you to be depressed now,then for the pleasure of our Lord be depressed.The pure devotee of the lord acts only based on the needs and wants of the lord.

[Shakti-Fan]

 

Srila Bhakti Raksaka Sridhara Maharaja

The truth about Maya, illusion, is difficult for us to digest. ‘I am small’ – I don’t like to digest or accept this. That’s the rub. That is my inner evil tendency to capture another’s right. We need to understand what is freedom. We are actually accustomed to think that we can encroach on the freedom of others of the environment. That is the disease. Otherwise, we rebel, “I shall commit suicide. If I cannot freely exercise my will over the environment outside, I shall enter into the grave.” But I won’t accept slavery – a serving attitude to the environment.

We are afraid to become a servant. “I want to be an exploiting unit, but not a serving unit that is bound to give its freedom to another superior hand.” This is where we fail, and this is the inner defect. We understand ‘freedom’ as exercising our right over the environment. Why should we not accept service for the environment? Why? There, we’ll be reduced to the minimum position. But that is healthy for us. To serve others, to become a servant. There we can thrive, by serving the environment, and, especially the Lord of the whole. We think that we are dying if we accept service. That false temperament has grown in us; that is a foreign element entered into the jiva. It is a bitter pill to swallow.

So what is service proper? We may consider the Hegelian philosophy – ‘Die to live!’ ‘Mercilessly dissolve your ego as it is at present. Die!’ Here, ‘die’ means dissolve mercilessly. Throw yourself into the fire; you’ll come out with a bright self. Learn to die as you are – that mentally concocted body or energy, or whatever it is. Take the Name of the Lord and die! Bhaktivinoda aj apane bhulila. Forget yourself, as you are; and you’ll find your proper self there, that does not die. Death is ordained for our present existence, and we must give that part of our existence to death. And what does not die will remain.

 

Mahaprabhu has discussed physical death in this way:

sanatana, deha-tyage krsna yadi paiye

koti-deha ksaneke tabe chharite pariye

 

“If I could get Krsna by dying, I am ready to die millions of times in a second; but that is nothing.” This is physical death is tamasika, a very lower death. The mental death is necessary. Real death is mental death, wholesale. Even then, also, one may only reach the tatastha or marginal stage. But He says, ‘Die or not die, go on cultivating Krsna consciousness with the company of a sadhu, a Krsna devotee. Try to accumulate that internal wealth, however it is possible. Kriyatam yadi kuto ‘pi labhyate.

The internal capital can be had only from the sadhu. Whever you’ll get it, try to secure that innermost wealth at any price. Mere physical or mental death cannot take you to that higher stage. You have to dive deep into Krsna consciousness. Whenever and wherever you find such strong attachment for Krsna, try to secure it from him at any price. That will be the best utilization of our life and energy. To purchase the higher thing.

And that is also at the sacrifice of the higher thing within you – innermost hankering. By surrendering your innermost existence. Such a transaction is there. The physical encasement and the mental encasement is of different types: Bhur, Bhuvar, Svar, Mahar, Janar, Tapa, Satya. These are the gradations of encasements from gross to finer. There many such varieties. Not only that, further there is the Viraja, Brahmaloka, Vaikuntha. So many subtle forms of consciousness take their manifest forms in Vaikuntha.

So most subtle within you is Krsna consciousness, where the dedication is intense to its highest capacity.

And this is dedication to the Autocrat, not to a constitutional king or agent of justice. But dedication to Krsna is to the Autocrat. Anything can happen. The highest degree of dedication is necessary there. The gain is also similar. As much as you can risk, so much you can expect to gain. That is Mahaprabhu’s direction. “Don’t be a miser. Surrender yourself to the Autocrat, the Absolute Good, and you will be the best gainer.” That is His recommendation. Don’t be too calculative and a miser. If you find a proper place, give yourself totally.

[gHari]

A Sinful Woman Forgiven

36 Then one of the Pharisees asked him to eat with him. And he went to the Pharisee’s house, and sat down to eat. 37 And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil, 38 and stood at his feet behind him weeping; and she began to wash his feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed his feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil. 39 Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he spoke to himself, saying, “This man, if he were a prophet, would know who and what manner of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner.”

40 And Jesus answered and said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” So he said, “Teacher, say it.”

41 “There was a certain creditor who had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42 And when they had nothing with which to repay, he freely forgave them both. Tell me, therefore, which of them will love him more?”

43 Simon answered and said, “I suppose the one whom he forgave more.”

And he said to him, “You have rightly judged.” 44 Then he turned to the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has washed my feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head. 45 You gave me no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss my feet since the time I came in. 46 You did not anoint my head with oil, but this woman has anointed my feet with fragrant oil. 47 Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.”

48 Then he said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”

49 And those who sat at the table with him began to say to themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?”

50 Then he said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.”

[theist]

 

help...I'm so depress Everyday I feel so down and alone...What should I do please help me..I know if I kill myself I will go to hell...Am I right? I love krsna but I dont know how a sinfull person like myself can improve? I want to be a pure devotee but how..please help me..

your humble servant

I have felt similar many times. We are down as you say but never alone with the Lord always with us in the heart. From birth to death to the next rebirth He has always been with us waiting for us to turn to Him. Is that the missing component with you? Have we forgotten are eternal companion?

We must turn to Krsna in all situations both good and bad. You are currently in distress so turn to Krsna. "Krsna please help me...":pray:

If you kill the body you will certainly have to take another one and do it all again. So suicide of the body does not work. What you really are saying when you say I want to die is that you want the misery to stop. Afterall if you were happy you wouldn't feel suicidal. So you really want to live but just in different circumstances. Circumstances that Krsna has all control over along with a desire to bless you.

This material world is designed to bring us to our knees before Him. That is your next step. In perfecting this we die daily to our miserable conceptions of ourselves and are reborn daily to a true understanding of ourselves and our relationship with the Lord.

The human form is the proper vessel for crossing the ocean of misery and it is not wise to sail out to sea only to sink your own boat during the journey. Appreciate this great gift of a human form and the fact that of all the hundreds of millions that have a human form on Earth you are one of the very few that knows what it's for. Please don't throw away this precious oppurtunity.

You want to be a "pure devotee but feel unable to improve." I have found some peace in realizing that I don't want to be a pure devotee. In fact I have no real understanding of what pure devotee means. I accept that one day I may have such a desire but for now I just want the suffering to stop.

There is this strange idea that lurks in many practioners minds that first they will purify themselves and then they can approach Krsna. But is it not that by approaching Krsna we become purified to the point of being able to approach Him purely?

Of course we cannot purify ourselves without His grace. Don't feel that burden because no one ever thought you could in the first place. So let that burden drop off your back.

It's like heading out on a long journey by foot and picking up a hundred pound stone as you start. Someone may ask, "why are you carrying that unnessary burden my brother, surely it will make completing your journey impossible." Drop the burden of self purification and carry on chanting the Holy Name for real purification. Travel light and the trip is easier. And remember you are never traveling alone.

Hare Krsna

[Guest guest]

 

help...I'm so depress Everyday I feel so down and alone...What should I do please help me..I know if I kill myself I will go to hell...Am I right? I love krsna but I dont know how a sinfull person like myself can improve? I want to be a pure devotee but how..please help me..

 

your humble servant

[bija]

Dear Devotee,

thank you for being so open and honest about how you feel. Your desires to please Krsna are a real bonus. In trying times in our life there can be no greater shelter.

Please take care of your health, and be very gentle and kind to yourself as you progress along the spiritual path. To walk this path, nurturing and being gentle to oneself is a key I have found to be very very useful. Krsna loves you and sees you as "you truly are" beyond this material covering.

Use everything at your disposal to enhance your spiritual life. Even, from experience, if this means seeking the help of others to assist us in our well being. Nurture and care for your mind and body by all means, so that you may use the mind and body as tools for your spiritual growth.

The slow and steady win the race. Journey this spiritual path one step at a time and oneday all your current trials will be only faint memory. I can guarantee if you carry on, oneday you will relish peace and bliss in your heart. Please take care.

 

Theists post#9 has many insights and I would recommend reading it over some more. Here is one great key from it:

We must turn to Krsna in all situations both good and bad. You are currently in distress so turn to Krsna. "Krsna please help me...":pray:

[Guest guest]

I really appreciate your comments thank you very much for your concern. I feel much better you have made light come into my life. Theist and bija you both are so intelligent. You should write a book because you really know how to make someone feel better the world needs more devotees like yourself. Thank you once again