(Ardis) Fine Wine from Our Mother

[Guest guest]

Due to a dream the other night of Shree Maa I have been thinking of what you said

about Shree Maa being cool light of the moon. I definately saw a

cosmic bhava. Thank you for sharing your description. I look

forward to meeting her soon and Swamiji and everyone there.

Thank you for her name, Ammachi. I don't know why I forget her name.

I have often thought of making a wild Kali Doll to snuggle with. I

used to have one 8 years ago actually, I think someone liked her and

took her:( The dolls of Ammachi remind me of my Crazy Kali doll, God

I loved her. She was hip and definately on the wild side.

I'm glad to hear your experiences are filled with shakti with Ammachi.

I would like to experience her darshan due to what I have heard from

so many. Is it weird to want to experience different darshans of the

different manifestations? Sometimes I think receiving different

darshans is like wine tasting with reverance, a taste of di-vine here

and a different taste of di-vine there. (pun intended tho not to be

disrespectful) It's like Guru is the vinyard Owner and servant of

the Grape (God). He knows how to transform a pure grape(Kundalini)

into a extrordinary wine(Amrita or Soma). Some sips are tasty

initially and some get better and smooth in the after taste:) but we

are always left with the happy feeling if we don't over do it. Too

much wine too fast leaves one with a headache:) We have to increase

our tolerance slowly in order to hold her Full Strength, 100% proof

Maa! It is all making

sense to me as I write this. I just answered some of my own questions

about my sadhana! Jai Maa! Wow! If no one else gets it that is ok.

I feel like I just discovered the flux capacitor without banging my

head on the toilet, although I have banged my head long time ago...

teehee...

I don't mean to be misunderstood. I am in a funny mood tonight,

making lots of jokes or seeming slap happy. Ohhh, I hope you can

understand my silliness, sometimes I joke like this with Maa all by

myself and now I have all of you...

You are all so wonderful! Love you too Ardis! Jai Maa!

KellyArdis Jackson <anandamama (AT) earthlink (DOT) net> wrote:

Kelly,Thank you for your answer. I appreciate your thought and

feelings.When I conceived my daughter, I had no connection to

Hinduism at all. I had never heard of Anandamayi Ma or any of the

Mothers. I had heard of Ananda, the close disciple of Buddha.The

naming of my child was based totally on intuition.When Ananda was in

high school in Madison, WI, I saw an article in the paper that a

woman saint from India was going to be arriving the next day. Her

name was Amrita Anandamayi Ma.Since her named included my daughter's

name, we decided to go to have darshan with her. This is the hugging

Mother from Kerala, India known to her disciples as Ammachi or Amma.

The darshan was incredibly powerful. It was her first trip to

America. She spoke no English. And yet, when my daughter reached

her She held her in her arms

and called out to the ocean and spoke of dolphins and whales. My

daughter's father is a marine biologist and she is very fond of the

ocean and its inhabitants. When I went up, I had no idea what to

expect. I found myself diving into her lap and encircling her waist

with my arms and sobbing my heart out. It was though she was the

mother I had never had; totally accepting and nourishing. I felt I

could stay there forever. She held me and then caressed me and said

Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma. Letting me know that I was a child and that it was

OK to cry out to Mother.Since then, I have had her darshan six or

seven times (all in California). I am never disappointed. Her heart

is so huge.But Shree Maa is my Mother and my Guru. She is very

different from Ammachi. She is very private and very subtle. People

compare her to the cool light of the Moon and the Wisdom of Night.

She is Awesome. Those who think they

know her usually don't. She is barely here. Her feet hardly touch

the ground. The fact that she is still here is a HUGE gift to

humanity and the Universe. When I used to sit at the fire with her

and Swamiji and all the devotees, I would tell her mentally that it

was OK for her to go away ( to enter the deepest meditation). I did

this because I knew that it was difficult for her to do anything,

even a homa. The fact that she doesn't stay in the highest samadhi

all the time, but functions as a teacher, pujarist, cook and

seamstress is because she has made the commitment to stay in the body

and serve humanity and the Universe. Her trademarks are simplicity,

honesty, humility and Devotion. When I think of her, I think of

selflessness, depth of meditation and pure love.I love you, Kelly and

enjoy all your sharing.Ardis

Kelly Leeper <blissnout >

Date: Sun, 9 Nov 2003 00:54:38 -0800

(PST)Subject: Ardis!!!!

Ardis,I'm so sorry it took me this long to read this. I kept hitting

your email and it wouldn't open! I thought, well it's about

manifestation and wisdom of nature, I'll get back to that:) I had no

idea it was to me. I would have tried really hard to keep opening it.

I'm glad I came back to it.Thank you so much for sharing this. You

are an inspiration to all mothers and children who have gone thru

similar situations. I too have heard that babies don't always cry,

but usually the parents are very aware or the situation was a natural

setting. The fact that you had a warm dark incubator was much better

than a bright cold one. Also the fact that you were small made the

labor less painful for both child and mother to some degree. Less

pain, less trauma.The conception of your divine daughter was

definately supposed to happen for both of you. I'm sorry your

husband couldn't stick

around longer to enjoy such beauty. But the fact that he made the

conception a divine experience and on purpose, conscious is to be

commended. No doubt your daughter is divine. You had never heard of

Anandamayi Ma? Amazing! I love these stories! Have you recieved

darshan from ...uh oh.. I forgot her name.. oops.. the Maa who holds

everyone. Have you seen Her? I'm wondering what your experience was

to be held by a Divine Mother embodiment after having no one hold you

for 2 months? I think your experience would be interesting if you

haven't had her darshan. I have a friend who is a tibetan shaman who

loves this Maa who gives hugs and it healed alot of mother issues for

her, the shakti involved in the holding and the acceptance of being

held really moved her. So lucky to have your fathers faith in your

aliveness during a time when others gave up. Same for your doctor.

Mothers nurture, and so

when a husband leaves and the nature of the relationship was

nurturing, it would be a huge abandonment. I'm really glad you have

healed those trauma's and so happy that you have men, Guru's and

Mothers who support your aliveness and divinity. I have noticed

that my Guru will act out my father issues and any Mother disciple

can act out my mother issues, so it's amazing to be made aware of our

healing thru our Guru's. Actually as long as we are trying to be more

aware, Guru comes thru everyone if we can accept the gift.I'm very

thankful for your sharing. You daughter is very lucky to have a

mother like you. And I'm sure many women would would LOVE it if

their husband acted with such awareness about conception. When I

hear of parents planning the conception of a divine child, it gives

me chills. I understand the importance of it. Jai Maa! Thank you!

Namaste,KellyArdis Jackson

<anandamama (AT) earthlink (DOT) net> wrote:

Thank you Kelly for sharing in such depth about the birth process.I

became pregnant after seven years of prayer and meditation. Not

because I was not capable physically of conceiving, because my

husband was not ready emotionally or spiritually to become a father.

When he finally was ready, he prepared a place for me in the

wilderness of Zion National Park, a place he found sacred. He

blindfolded me and lovingly led me to the place. It was amazing.

Incredible jagged mountain peaks, silvered by the light of the full

moon. The experience we shared was not sexual. We were immersed in

prayer and meditation. I conceived immediately. I prayed for a pure

soul. I prayed to Swamiji, although I had never met him on the

physical plane. Our daughter bears the name Ananda Mae, closest I

could come intuitively to Ananda Mayi.My whole pregnancy was a

preparation for her birth. I meditated for hours

daily. I hiked and backpacked and ate a healthy diet. (All the time

teaching school full-time). I had to fight the medical establishment

to have a natural birth and to have my husband in the delivery room.

This was in 1969. I would have loved to have had a water birth, but

LeBoyer's work was not available at that time in my area. Ananda did

not cry at birth. She was totally awake and aware. Her lower lip

trembled a little until I started speaking to her; then she smiled.I

have witnessed other births where the baby did not cry and seemed

perfectly peaceful and aware and interested in their surroundings.I

did not cry when I was born. I do not feel that it is such a rare

thing. I was two months premature. The doctor who delivered me was

a very spiritual man. I only weighed 3 lbs. This was in 1940. I was

put in a totally dark, warm incubator. My father picked up mother's

milk for me from

a woman's organization and delivered it to the hospital every day

after work for two months. They wouldn't let him hold me. My mother

never visited me. I wasn't even held by the nurses. The incubator

had sleeves through which the nurses could bottle feed me. They did

not expect me to survive. Only my doctor and my father believed that

I would survive. I am very grateful to them... two gentlemen from

West Virginia. My husband left me and our daughter when she was 3

yrs old (after 12 yrs of marriage). It brought up abandonment issues

that went all the way back to the incubator days and to childhood

abuse by my mother.When I came to the Devi Mandir, it was hard for me

to accept Mother's love and discipline. It was much easier to relate

to Swamiji who reminded me of my loving, peaceful father (who I see

as my first guru in this lifetime). But with time I was able to see

Maa's discipline as a form of selfless

love. Her music and her incredible deep meditative states and her

instruction all revealed Her Divinity. I feel grateful beyond

measure for both of them.Ardis

Kelly Leeper <blissnout >

Date: Fri, 7 Nov 2003 00:27:52 -0800

(PST)Subject: Re:

Manifestation and the wisdom of nature

Parvati, Namaste:) Being a Rebirthing it's my divine calling to

educate even the Masters of the trauma's of birth. Please don't take

this personally:) Your quote:A brief explanation:When the soul is

born on earth its first _expression is a cry. Why does it cry?

Because it finds itself in a new place which is all strange to it. It

finds itself in captivity.Is something any normal person would assume

in witnessing a birth. A person seeing birth thru the eye's of

unconscious birth trauma feels that the body is captivity. The very

process of enlightenment and eventual transmutation of the physical

realm (siddhar path) heals this very perception. It is not the truth

of embodiment. Some souls, like mine, felt very sad to be away from

the bliss of unembodied consciousness, but at the same time very

excited to be of

service to humanity in any way we could. I remember the trauma of

coming from 'Heaven' and I remember the trauma of 'Birth'. These are

conscious realizations and conscious memories that a person has when

going into the very depths of transformation and the transformation

of birth trauma into birth bliss. As spiritual aspirants, 99.9% want

so badly to believe 'captivity' is a bound or negative place, or to

beleive that the phsical is less than. Most spiritual aspirants, due

to the very nature of wanting God in the first place, embodied to

assist humanity. The consciousness of embodiment was also a choice,

but one realizes this when they go thru Rebirthing or other sadhana,

very deep places of transformation, the transformation that effects

cell and dna level's, consciousness on ALL LEVELS, not just the

mental and emotional.Birth is traumatic because not very many know

how to make birth consciously blissful and humanity

is learning slowly as Rebirthing becomes prevalent, doula birthing,

water birthing, natural birthing, midwivery, Pre and Peri Natal

Psychology which came prevalent at the time Rebirthing did - it's all

here to make parents conscious that they are giving birth to God.

Babies don't cry when they are birthed correctly with consciousness

that they are God. They learn to breath without having the cord cut

immediately. When the cord is cut, the infant looses it's 'source'

and goes into shock and then usually someone startles the baby by

hitting them or a slap to get them to cry. This is the reason for

crying: "VIOLENCE". When more of humanity gets eveolved enough to

stop the violence, not cut the cord immediately, to not turn the

child upside down, or hit the child or probe the childs throat, then

we will have souls incarnating who understand truly what it means to

be emodied. The souls coming in now are very highly aware children

and the more parents

who have conscious birth, the more enlightened children we will have

on the planet.The very idea that we are trapped is part of our

problem and denial system. It's our blame game to avoid accepting

responsibilty for the divine vehicle we truly inhabit. When the

Masters pass the stories down the line that are not truthful, I will

point that out. Just because a Master renounced the world or read

all the scripture doesn't mean he's Mastered it. Just because it's a

belief, doesn't mean it's TRUE. Babies cry because it's done

violently. Babies who don't cry are proving it to the world when the

Parents have enough love to Birth Consciously. Read Birth Without

Violence by Fredrick Leboyer. A must have for any Rebirther,

Holotrophic Breathworker, Pre and Perinatal Psychologist or Master.A

rebirthers work is never done:) Too much birth trauma in the

world from all levels:) parvati_saraswati <parvati_saraswati > wrote:

In CHAPTER 1 of the Chandi the Busines man and the King are discussing

how even with wisdom and understanding they still feel pain and

attachment. They ask the Rishi what is it that causes this

ignorance?The Rishi replies in Verse 47-58.Briefly he tells them that

the Supreme Goddess, the Great Measurement of Consciousness, attracts

the perceiving capapcity af all sensible beings with such force as to

thrust them into the ignorance of egotistic attachment. She is the

cause of Liberation of Consciousness and She is the cause of the

bondage of Consciousness to objects and their relationships.Recently

I was reading the Way of Illumination by Hazrat Inayat Khan which

seems to address this question.First a story: The soul was frightened

when it was commanded to enter the body of clay; it was most unwilling

not from pride, but from fear. The soul, whose nature is freedom,

whose dwelling place is

heaven, whose comfort it is to be free and to dwell in all spheres of

existence, for that soul to dwell in a house of clay it was most

terrifying.Then God asked the angels to play and sing and the ecstacy

that was produced in the soul by hearing the music made the oule enter

the body of clay where it became captive to death. The interpretation

of this idea is that the soul which is pure intelligence and angelic

in its being, had not the least interest in dwelling in the physical

plane, which robs it of its freedom and makes it limited. But what

interested the soul, and made it come into the body, is what the

physical world offers to the senses; and this produces such

intoxication that it takes away for the moment the thought of heaven

from the soul and so the soul becomes captive in the physical body.A

brief explanation:When the soul is born on earth its first expression

is a cry. Why does it cry? Because

it finds itself in a new place which is all strange to it. It finds

itself in captivity. Every person, every object is new, and is

something foreign to this soul, but soon the condition passes away.

Soon the senses of the infant become aquaintedwith the outer life

which so continually attracts its attention. It first becomes

interested in breathing the air of the world, then in hearing the

sounds, and then in seeing the objects before it; then in touching

them, and then its taste develops. The more familiar the soul becomes

with this physical world the more interested it becomes; though

sometimes it shows homesickness in its fits of crying that it so

oftens has during infancy. It is not always that it is crying for

things outside. No doubt, as it grows it longs for things itself, but

it often cries from the feeling of having been removed from a place

which was more pleasant and comfortable, and having come to a foreign

land of

which it knows so little. It is this which causes the infant to have

fits of crying. The wisdom of nature is perfect; and there is no

better vision of the spendour of the divine wisdom for the thinker

than a child in its infancy. If the senses of an infant were

developed as are the senses of a grown up person, it would lose its

reason from the sudden pressure of the physical world falling

instantly upon it. Its delicate senses would not have been able to

stand the pressure of so many various and intense functions of this

world. How marvellouslythe wisdom behind it works, the wisdom which

is the evidence of the divine protector, Father, Mother, Creator, the

support and protection of all so that the senses of the child develop

gradually as it becomes familiar with life. The more it knows the

more its mind expands, and it cannot know more than the mind can

grasp. So that in every way an infant is

protected in both mind and body. Note: Shree Maa is one of the

rare souls who did not cry at birth. She was completely established

within her soul at birth and knew who she was.May Divine Mother bless

us all with eternal remembrance.To from this group, send

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