Guest guest Posted November 25, 2003 Report Share Posted November 25, 2003 Dear All, The short story :- I am chanting ...... WHATEVER IT TAKES. And email breaks are part of the game. I wish I could say "I have realized God. You too can. Go in peace my children". But honestly prompts me to say otherwise . May be one of these days .... The loooooooong story :- Nov 21st :- It was just this morning that I felt so good to have chanted the entire Chandi in a disciplined and orderly manner (Niyata pranatah smatam - as it says in Chapter 5). This was the make up Chandi for yesterday. You would think that the bhav would remain for atleast a few hours and I could complete today's requirements without any problems. I did all the right things - took off early from work, even managed to avoid the temptation of a good time on a Friday evening with the satsang at Ananda Kamalalaya and sat in front of Maa at 8. I finished the prayog and just about decided I had enough and went to bed early. Strange - full of loftiness in the morning , and then ..... down the drain at night. Now I have to make up for tonight's parayan one other day. Nov 22nd :- I head for the Ashram in the evening. I bow to Maa and Swamiji after the class. They are so sweet .Maa sez that she doesnt want me to make her breakfast tomorrow . My feeling thermometer plummets but "obedience to the Guru" is the motto. "Whatever You say Maa " . They are coming to San Jose and I ask them to bless me by visiting my humble apartment and partake of some modest meals made with my own little hands. Swamiji in his forthright fashion sez "I'd rather not go anywhere but I gotta go to San Jose for something and I dont really wanna go to your apartment next to your work. Besides this is your home" . Typical Swamiji - his forthrightness never stings , it is always a breath of fresh air. And besides I dont think much else of what he said after he said "this is your home, thats an apartment close to your work" . It was ringing in my mind throughout the evening. I sit in front of my altar in the Mandir. 8 o'clock. I am done by 10.30. Smooth smooth smooth sailing. I still have to make up for ydays Chandi - dont know when I am gonna do that. That night is Amavasya and one of the senior disciples at the Mandir is starting Kali puja at 11 pm. How long will it take , I asked her. Oh about 2 hours , she replied very casually. The people here never cease to amaze me -as though it was everyday that she did a 2 hr puja starting at 11 in the night. I stayed up and followed her lead for the puja and retire reluctantly at 1 am. I still had enough energy left to chop wood and run a few laps ... but go to sleep. That's what the Mandir does to you. Nov 23rd :- Get up in the morning and finish my Shiva Puja. I finish and I am thinking what to do. Maa didnt want me to cook her breakfast , and so I was contemplating my next strategic move ( supposing I just cook and give it to them, what will she say ?) when Maa and Swami entered the temple for their morning prayers . Maa came towards me and I turn (didnt get up cos my leg was sore) towards her and bow . She comes and hugs me and kisses me. I am still reeling under her dazzling smile as she goes back to start her puja. I am sitting in front of my altar and watch the battle between Latha the one-thats-just-been-hugged-and-kissed and Latha the Reasoning and Sensible individual and wannabe disciple. Latha -the one_o_t_j_b_h_a_k says fiercely to Maa (in her mind) :- "I AM GONNA COOK YOUR BREAKFAST.YOU DONT HAFTA EAT IT . BUT I CAN COOK IT CANT I? AND I AM GONNA MAKE IT DEEELICIOUS. ADD ALL THE GHEE I CAN AND MAKE IT SO SO GOOD" Latha the R. and S.I and W.D argues equally fiercely - " SHE SAID NO LATHA. ARE YOU GONNA DISOBEY A DIRECT ORDER AND LOSE YOUR CHANCES WITH A GURU IN THIS LIFE AND FOR THE NEXT FEW LIVES AND SQUIRM IN A NON-GURU HELL" And the fierce battle rages for 5000 years...rather half an hour. At this point both Maa and Swami have started their puja and I watch them both pray with gusto. I LOVE the way Swami starts off "Good Morning Ladies and Gentlemen" addressing the deities . It is so so intimate and moves me and makes me laugh at the same time. And then it strikes me. Wasnt it just last week that Maa said that Devotion was her favorite food ? So why not chant for her and Swami ? I chant the Chandi . Maa and Swami are still praying and no doubt my loud voice grated in between their puja. But I gave it my best. I left 2 and a half hour later and was informed that Maa wanted me to make her Sambar for her. I was so amazed and delighted and overjoyed and started right way. (How I messed up the sambar and made it too hot for Her to eat is best left at another time , dear readers). It seems natural for me to go back to the temple in the afternoon to begin another session of Chandi . Why ? Havent you done one already today, ask some of my buddies. "Yes, but that Chandi dont count. It was for their breakfast" I try to explain my logic as best as I could. "Besides I still need to one to make up for yday ". I start at 2.30 and other disciples are trickling in and starting their own parayan. All at different paces and at one time the Mandir is humming with 4 distinct voices at different chapters. But the end result was harmonious. It is true - when many people get together the power is magnified several times more. I head back to my apartment-close-to-work in the evening . I start another Chandi - this is the one due for the day, but I stop after episode 2. I dont "feel like" starting episode 3. And this after all the energy from the afternoon. What is the difference - it is the same old me , the same old text.... but the environment is different. In the morning and afternoon I was carried by the others steam, now it is left to me to propel .. Maa, you had told me once a long time ago when I broke the 30 minute asan barrier that I could do it only because I was at the temple. And I didnt believe you then. I do now. There is proof. I abandon my chanting the chandi after episode 2. Two and a half chandis in one day aint bad... But now I gotta make up for today's Chandi another day.... Nov 24th :- I come home from work and switch on the telly. Nothing. What happened to the cable? Are the cable guys in some kinda conspiracy to make me chant ? Then I get a call from Maa... We talk for a while and she hangs up. It is 9.30 pm. I go to my PC and notice that the Kindest Moderator in the world is online. We chat briefly and get into an inane emoticon contest . That boy was born with a natural talent for winning emoticon contests. For more details, interested folks may talk to him directly. I refuse to pollute a spiritual diary with off-track comments on a contest that I never won. I finally get started at 11.30 pm. I go slow today but there is an inner resolve. I am not going to sleep no matter what and no matter how many email breaks I take. I WILL CHANT. And so I do - I complete at 3.45 in the morning. No regrets. I get some well deserved sleep. Whatever it takes - guilt/love/inspiration/self-inquiry , whatever motivation it takes to keep chanting , all that matters is that I stick with the sankalpa. At the end of the 6 months, if all I have accomplished is that I can chant irrespective of my mental climate, it would be well worth it. To Feel Love I cant But I certainly can CHANT. Life is more joyous with a Sankalpa. Love to you all. Latha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 25, 2003 Report Share Posted November 25, 2003 Namaste Latha, Cheers for your heroic efforts! Living at the Devi Mandir sounds intense! You get hugs & kisses from Shree Maa?! I am so jealous!!! I wish I had a Guru to give me hugs & kisses! Waaaaahhhh! Isn't it lovely that Shree Maa gave you an opportunity to make sambar for her? Did you make idlis too? It just amazes me that Shree Maa and Swamiji make themselves so accessible to their devotees!!! How lucky you are to be near!!! Love, Astraea , "Latha Nanda" <lathananda> wrote: > Dear All, > > The short story :- I am chanting ...... WHATEVER IT TAKES. And email > breaks are part of the game. I wish I could say "I have realized God. > You too can. Go in peace my children". But honestly prompts me to say > otherwise . May be one of these days .... > > > The loooooooong story :- > > Nov 21st :- > > It was just this morning that I felt so good to have chanted the > entire Chandi in a disciplined and orderly manner (Niyata pranatah > smatam - as it says in Chapter 5). This was the make up Chandi for > yesterday. > > You would think that the bhav would remain for atleast a few hours > and I could complete today's requirements without any problems. > > I did all the right things - took off early from work, even managed > to avoid the temptation of a good time on a Friday evening with the > satsang at Ananda Kamalalaya and sat in front of Maa at 8. > > I finished the prayog and just about decided I had enough and went to > bed early. > > Strange - full of loftiness in the morning , and then ..... down the > drain at night. > > Now I have to make up for tonight's parayan one other day. > > Nov 22nd :- > > I head for the Ashram in the evening. I bow to Maa and Swamiji after > the class. They are so sweet .Maa sez that she doesnt want me to > make her breakfast tomorrow . My feeling thermometer plummets > but "obedience to the Guru" is the motto. "Whatever You say Maa " . > They are coming to San Jose and I ask them to bless me by visiting > my humble apartment and partake of some modest meals made with my own > little hands. Swamiji in his forthright fashion sez "I'd rather not > go anywhere but I gotta go to San Jose for something and I dont > really wanna go to your apartment next to your work. Besides this is > your home" . > > Typical Swamiji - his forthrightness never stings , it is always a > breath of fresh air. And besides I dont think much else of what he > said after he said "this is your home, thats an apartment close to > your work" . It was ringing in my mind throughout the evening. > > I sit in front of my altar in the Mandir. 8 o'clock. I am done by > 10.30. Smooth smooth smooth sailing. I still have to make up for > ydays Chandi - dont know when I am gonna do that. > > That night is Amavasya and one of the senior disciples at the Mandir > is starting Kali puja at 11 pm. How long will it take , I asked her. > Oh about 2 hours , she replied very casually. The people here never > cease to amaze me -as though it was everyday that she did a 2 hr puja > starting at 11 in the night. I stayed up and followed her lead for > the puja and retire reluctantly at 1 am. I still had enough energy > left to chop wood and run a few laps ... but go to sleep. > > That's what the Mandir does to you. > > Nov 23rd :- > > Get up in the morning and finish my Shiva Puja. I finish and I am > thinking what to do. Maa didnt want me to cook her breakfast , and > so I was contemplating my next strategic move ( supposing I just cook > and give it to them, what will she say ?) when Maa and Swami entered > the temple for their morning prayers . > > Maa came towards me and I turn (didnt get up cos my leg was sore) > towards her and bow . She comes and hugs me and kisses me. > > I am still reeling under her dazzling smile as she goes back to start > her puja. > > I am sitting in front of my altar and watch the battle between Latha > the one-thats-just-been-hugged-and-kissed and Latha the Reasoning and > Sensible individual and wannabe disciple. > > Latha -the one_o_t_j_b_h_a_k says fiercely to Maa (in her mind) :- > "I AM GONNA COOK YOUR BREAKFAST.YOU DONT HAFTA EAT IT . BUT I CAN > COOK IT CANT I? AND I AM GONNA MAKE IT DEEELICIOUS. ADD ALL THE GHEE > I CAN AND MAKE IT SO SO GOOD" > > Latha the R. and S.I and W.D argues equally fiercely - " SHE SAID NO > LATHA. ARE YOU GONNA DISOBEY A DIRECT ORDER AND LOSE YOUR CHANCES > WITH A GURU IN THIS LIFE AND FOR THE NEXT FEW LIVES AND SQUIRM IN A > NON-GURU HELL" > > And the fierce battle rages for 5000 years...rather half an hour. > > At this point both Maa and Swami have started their puja and I watch > them both pray with gusto. I LOVE the way Swami starts off "Good > Morning Ladies and Gentlemen" addressing the deities . It is so so > intimate and moves me and makes me laugh at the same time. > > And then it strikes me. Wasnt it just last week that Maa said that > Devotion was her favorite food ? So why not chant for her and Swami ? > > I chant the Chandi . Maa and Swami are still praying and no doubt my > loud voice grated in between their puja. But I gave it my best. > > I left 2 and a half hour later and was informed that Maa wanted me to > make her Sambar for her. I was so amazed and delighted and overjoyed > and started right way. (How I messed up the sambar and made it too > hot for Her to eat is best left at another time , dear readers). > > It seems natural for me to go back to the temple in the afternoon to > begin another session of Chandi . Why ? Havent you done one already > today, ask some of my buddies. "Yes, but that Chandi dont count. It > was for their breakfast" I try to explain my logic as best as I > could. "Besides I still need to one to make up for yday ". > > I start at 2.30 and other disciples are trickling in and starting > their own parayan. All at different paces and at one time the Mandir > is humming with 4 distinct voices at different chapters. But the end > result was harmonious. It is true - when many people get together the > power is magnified several times more. > > I head back to my apartment-close-to-work in the evening . I start > another Chandi - this is the one due for the day, but I stop after > episode 2. I dont "feel like" starting episode 3. And this after all > the energy from the afternoon. > > What is the difference - it is the same old me , the same old > text.... but the environment is different. In the morning and > afternoon I was carried by the others steam, now it is left to me to > propel .. > > Maa, you had told me once a long time ago when I broke the 30 minute > asan barrier that I could do it only because I was at the temple. And > I didnt believe you then. I do now. There is proof. > > I abandon my chanting the chandi after episode 2. > > Two and a half chandis in one day aint bad... But now I gotta make up > for today's Chandi another day.... > > Nov 24th :- > > I come home from work and switch on the telly. Nothing. What happened > to the cable? Are the cable guys in some kinda conspiracy to make me > chant ? > > Then I get a call from Maa... > > We talk for a while and she hangs up. It is 9.30 pm. I go to my PC > and notice that the Kindest Moderator in the world is online. We chat > briefly and get into an inane emoticon contest . That boy was born > with a natural talent for winning emoticon contests. For more > details, interested folks may talk to him directly. I refuse to > pollute a spiritual diary with off-track comments on a contest that I > never won. > > I finally get started at 11.30 pm. I go slow today but there is an > inner resolve. I am not going to sleep no matter what and no matter > how many email breaks I take. I WILL CHANT. > > And so I do - I complete at 3.45 in the morning. No regrets. I get > some well deserved sleep. > > > Whatever it takes - guilt/love/inspiration/self-inquiry , whatever > motivation it takes to keep chanting , all that matters is that I > stick with the sankalpa. > > At the end of the 6 months, if all I have accomplished is that I can > chant irrespective of my mental climate, it would be well worth it. > > > To Feel Love I cant > But I certainly can CHANT. > > > Life is more joyous with a Sankalpa. > > Love to you all. > Latha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 26, 2003 Report Share Posted November 26, 2003 Beloved Latha, I bow to the Divinity within you. It is really wonderful to read your Diary with all the play/determination/etc that evolves, but in the end what I enjoy most is the complete honesty with which the journal is produced. How did Latha the R. and S.I and W.D. maintain composure after being hugged and kissed by Mother? What a beautiful blessing you received. Regarding the meal, maybe your willingness and also the love and devotion with which the meal was prepared was more important than the actual meal. On an earlier post at the start of this sankalpa, you made mention of an autobiography, well Dear One, seems like you have a very good start to making that idea a reality. May Goddess Chandi continue to bless you. Jai Maa Kali , "Latha Nanda" <lathananda> wrote: > Dear All, > > The short story :- I am chanting ...... WHATEVER IT TAKES. And email > breaks are part of the game. I wish I could say "I have realized God. > You too can. Go in peace my children". But honestly prompts me to say > otherwise . May be one of these days .... > > > The loooooooong story :- > > Nov 21st :- > > It was just this morning that I felt so good to have chanted the > entire Chandi in a disciplined and orderly manner (Niyata pranatah > smatam - as it says in Chapter 5). This was the make up Chandi for > yesterday. > > You would think that the bhav would remain for atleast a few hours > and I could complete today's requirements without any problems. > > I did all the right things - took off early from work, even managed > to avoid the temptation of a good time on a Friday evening with the > satsang at Ananda Kamalalaya and sat in front of Maa at 8. > > I finished the prayog and just about decided I had enough and went to > bed early. > > Strange - full of loftiness in the morning , and then ..... down the > drain at night. > > Now I have to make up for tonight's parayan one other day. > > Nov 22nd :- > > I head for the Ashram in the evening. I bow to Maa and Swamiji after > the class. They are so sweet .Maa sez that she doesnt want me to > make her breakfast tomorrow . My feeling thermometer plummets > but "obedience to the Guru" is the motto. "Whatever You say Maa " . > They are coming to San Jose and I ask them to bless me by visiting > my humble apartment and partake of some modest meals made with my own > little hands. Swamiji in his forthright fashion sez "I'd rather not > go anywhere but I gotta go to San Jose for something and I dont > really wanna go to your apartment next to your work. Besides this is > your home" . > > Typical Swamiji - his forthrightness never stings , it is always a > breath of fresh air. And besides I dont think much else of what he > said after he said "this is your home, thats an apartment close to > your work" . It was ringing in my mind throughout the evening. > > I sit in front of my altar in the Mandir. 8 o'clock. I am done by > 10.30. Smooth smooth smooth sailing. I still have to make up for > ydays Chandi - dont know when I am gonna do that. > > That night is Amavasya and one of the senior disciples at the Mandir > is starting Kali puja at 11 pm. How long will it take , I asked her. > Oh about 2 hours , she replied very casually. The people here never > cease to amaze me -as though it was everyday that she did a 2 hr puja > starting at 11 in the night. I stayed up and followed her lead for > the puja and retire reluctantly at 1 am. I still had enough energy > left to chop wood and run a few laps ... but go to sleep. > > That's what the Mandir does to you. > > Nov 23rd :- > > Get up in the morning and finish my Shiva Puja. I finish and I am > thinking what to do. Maa didnt want me to cook her breakfast , and > so I was contemplating my next strategic move ( supposing I just cook > and give it to them, what will she say ?) when Maa and Swami entered > the temple for their morning prayers . > > Maa came towards me and I turn (didnt get up cos my leg was sore) > towards her and bow . She comes and hugs me and kisses me. > > I am still reeling under her dazzling smile as she goes back to start > her puja. > > I am sitting in front of my altar and watch the battle between Latha > the one-thats-just-been-hugged-and-kissed and Latha the Reasoning and > Sensible individual and wannabe disciple. > > Latha -the one_o_t_j_b_h_a_k says fiercely to Maa (in her mind) :- > "I AM GONNA COOK YOUR BREAKFAST.YOU DONT HAFTA EAT IT . BUT I CAN > COOK IT CANT I? AND I AM GONNA MAKE IT DEEELICIOUS. ADD ALL THE GHEE > I CAN AND MAKE IT SO SO GOOD" > > Latha the R. and S.I and W.D argues equally fiercely - " SHE SAID NO > LATHA. ARE YOU GONNA DISOBEY A DIRECT ORDER AND LOSE YOUR CHANCES > WITH A GURU IN THIS LIFE AND FOR THE NEXT FEW LIVES AND SQUIRM IN A > NON-GURU HELL" > > And the fierce battle rages for 5000 years...rather half an hour. > > At this point both Maa and Swami have started their puja and I watch > them both pray with gusto. I LOVE the way Swami starts off "Good > Morning Ladies and Gentlemen" addressing the deities . It is so so > intimate and moves me and makes me laugh at the same time. > > And then it strikes me. Wasnt it just last week that Maa said that > Devotion was her favorite food ? So why not chant for her and Swami ? > > I chant the Chandi . Maa and Swami are still praying and no doubt my > loud voice grated in between their puja. But I gave it my best. > > I left 2 and a half hour later and was informed that Maa wanted me to > make her Sambar for her. I was so amazed and delighted and overjoyed > and started right way. (How I messed up the sambar and made it too > hot for Her to eat is best left at another time , dear readers). > > It seems natural for me to go back to the temple in the afternoon to > begin another session of Chandi . Why ? Havent you done one already > today, ask some of my buddies. "Yes, but that Chandi dont count. It > was for their breakfast" I try to explain my logic as best as I > could. "Besides I still need to one to make up for yday ". > > I start at 2.30 and other disciples are trickling in and starting > their own parayan. All at different paces and at one time the Mandir > is humming with 4 distinct voices at different chapters. But the end > result was harmonious. It is true - when many people get together the > power is magnified several times more. > > I head back to my apartment-close-to-work in the evening . I start > another Chandi - this is the one due for the day, but I stop after > episode 2. I dont "feel like" starting episode 3. And this after all > the energy from the afternoon. > > What is the difference - it is the same old me , the same old > text.... but the environment is different. In the morning and > afternoon I was carried by the others steam, now it is left to me to > propel .. > > Maa, you had told me once a long time ago when I broke the 30 minute > asan barrier that I could do it only because I was at the temple. And > I didnt believe you then. I do now. There is proof. > > I abandon my chanting the chandi after episode 2. > > Two and a half chandis in one day aint bad... But now I gotta make up > for today's Chandi another day.... > > Nov 24th :- > > I come home from work and switch on the telly. Nothing. What happened > to the cable? Are the cable guys in some kinda conspiracy to make me > chant ? > > Then I get a call from Maa... > > We talk for a while and she hangs up. It is 9.30 pm. I go to my PC > and notice that the Kindest Moderator in the world is online. We chat > briefly and get into an inane emoticon contest . That boy was born > with a natural talent for winning emoticon contests. For more > details, interested folks may talk to him directly. I refuse to > pollute a spiritual diary with off-track comments on a contest that I > never won. > > I finally get started at 11.30 pm. I go slow today but there is an > inner resolve. I am not going to sleep no matter what and no matter > how many email breaks I take. I WILL CHANT. > > And so I do - I complete at 3.45 in the morning. No regrets. I get > some well deserved sleep. > > > Whatever it takes - guilt/love/inspiration/self-inquiry , whatever > motivation it takes to keep chanting , all that matters is that I > stick with the sankalpa. > > At the end of the 6 months, if all I have accomplished is that I can > chant irrespective of my mental climate, it would be well worth it. > > > To Feel Love I cant > But I certainly can CHANT. > > > Life is more joyous with a Sankalpa. > > Love to you all. > Latha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2003 Report Share Posted November 30, 2003 please pray for my have high blod preshure i m doying dhyn to mataji for blessing thank you sardar jaimal singh --- kaliananda_saraswati <kaliananda_saraswati wrote: > Beloved Latha, > > I bow to the Divinity within you. > It is really wonderful to read your Diary with all > the > play/determination/etc that evolves, but in the end > what I enjoy most > is the complete honesty with which the journal is > produced. How did > Latha the R. and S.I and W.D. maintain composure > after being hugged > and kissed by Mother? What a beautiful blessing you > received. > > Regarding the meal, maybe your willingness and also > the love and > devotion with which the meal was prepared was more > important than the > actual meal. > > On an earlier post at the start of this sankalpa, > you made mention of > an autobiography, well Dear One, seems like you have > a very good > start to making that idea a reality. > May Goddess Chandi continue to bless you. > > Jai Maa > Kali > > > , "Latha Nanda" > <lathananda> > wrote: > > Dear All, > > > > The short story :- I am chanting ...... WHATEVER > IT TAKES. And > email > > breaks are part of the game. I wish I could say "I > have realized > God. > > You too can. Go in peace my children". But > honestly prompts me to > say > > otherwise . May be one of these days .... > > > > > > The loooooooong story :- > > > > Nov 21st :- > > > > It was just this morning that I felt so good to > have chanted the > > entire Chandi in a disciplined and orderly manner > (Niyata pranatah > > smatam - as it says in Chapter 5). This was the > make up Chandi for > > yesterday. > > > > You would think that the bhav would remain for > atleast a few hours > > and I could complete today's requirements without > any problems. > > > > I did all the right things - took off early from > work, even managed > > to avoid the temptation of a good time on a Friday > evening with the > > satsang at Ananda Kamalalaya and sat in front of > Maa at 8. > > > > I finished the prayog and just about decided I had > enough and went > to > > bed early. > > > > Strange - full of loftiness in the morning , and > then ..... down > the > > drain at night. > > > > Now I have to make up for tonight's parayan one > other day. > > > > Nov 22nd :- > > > > I head for the Ashram in the evening. I bow to Maa > and Swamiji > after > > the class. They are so sweet .Maa sez that she > doesnt want me to > > make her breakfast tomorrow . My feeling > thermometer plummets > > but "obedience to the Guru" is the motto. > "Whatever You say Maa " . > > They are coming to San Jose and I ask them to > bless me by visiting > > my humble apartment and partake of some modest > meals made with my > own > > little hands. Swamiji in his forthright fashion > sez "I'd rather not > > go anywhere but I gotta go to San Jose for > something and I dont > > really wanna go to your apartment next to your > work. Besides this > is > > your home" . > > > > Typical Swamiji - his forthrightness never stings > , it is always a > > breath of fresh air. And besides I dont think much > else of what he > > said after he said "this is your home, thats an > apartment close to > > your work" . It was ringing in my mind throughout > the evening. > > > > I sit in front of my altar in the Mandir. 8 > o'clock. I am done by > > 10.30. Smooth smooth smooth sailing. I still > have to make up for > > ydays Chandi - dont know when I am gonna do that. > > > > That night is Amavasya and one of the senior > disciples at the > Mandir > > is starting Kali puja at 11 pm. How long will it > take , I asked > her. > > Oh about 2 hours , she replied very casually. The > people here never > > cease to amaze me -as though it was everyday that > she did a 2 hr > puja > > starting at 11 in the night. I stayed up and > followed her lead for > > the puja and retire reluctantly at 1 am. I still > had enough energy > > left to chop wood and run a few laps ... but go to > sleep. > > > > That's what the Mandir does to you. > > > > Nov 23rd :- > > > > Get up in the morning and finish my Shiva Puja. I > finish and I am > > thinking what to do. Maa didnt want me to cook > her breakfast , and > > so I was contemplating my next strategic move ( > supposing I just > cook > > and give it to them, what will she say ?) when Maa > and Swami > entered > > the temple for their morning prayers . > > > > Maa came towards me and I turn (didnt get up cos > my leg was sore) > > towards her and bow . She comes and hugs me and > kisses me. > > > > I am still reeling under her dazzling smile as she > goes back to > start > > her puja. > > > > I am sitting in front of my altar and watch the > battle between > Latha > > the one-thats-just-been-hugged-and-kissed and > Latha the Reasoning > and > > Sensible individual and wannabe disciple. > > > > Latha -the one_o_t_j_b_h_a_k says fiercely to Maa > (in her mind) :- > > "I AM GONNA COOK YOUR BREAKFAST.YOU DONT HAFTA > EAT IT . BUT I CAN > > COOK IT CANT I? AND I AM GONNA MAKE IT > DEEELICIOUS. ADD ALL THE > GHEE > > I CAN AND MAKE IT SO SO GOOD" > > > > Latha the R. and S.I and W.D argues equally > fiercely - " SHE SAID > NO > > LATHA. ARE YOU GONNA DISOBEY A DIRECT ORDER AND > LOSE YOUR CHANCES > > WITH A GURU IN THIS LIFE AND FOR THE NEXT FEW > LIVES AND SQUIRM IN A > > NON-GURU HELL" > > > > And the fierce battle rages for 5000 > years...rather half an hour. > > > > At this point both Maa and Swami have started > their puja and I > watch > === message truncated === Free Pop-Up Blocker - Get it now http://companion./ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2003 Report Share Posted December 1, 2003 I sure hope you are feeling better soon. I'm sure your meditation will help you. May Maa give you smooth bliss to relax your blood pressure:)singh jaimal <sjaimal > wrote: please pray for my have high blod preshure i mdoying dhyn to mataji for blessing thank you sardar jaimal singh--- kaliananda_saraswati<kaliananda_saraswati > wrote:> Beloved Latha,> > I bow to the Divinity within you.> It is really wonderful to read your Diary with all> the > play/determination/etc that evolves, but in the end> what I enjoy most > is the complete honesty with which the journal is> produced. How did > Latha the R. and S.I and W.D. maintain composure> after being hugged > and kissed by Mother? What a beautiful blessing you> received. > > Regarding the meal, maybe your willingness and also> the love and > devotion with which the meal was prepared was more> important than the > actual meal.> > On an earlier post at the start of this sankalpa,> you made mention of > an autobiography, well Dear One, seems like you have> a very good > start to making that idea a reality. > May Goddess Chandi continue to bless you.> > Jai Maa> Kali> > > --- In , "Latha Nanda"> <lathananda> > wrote:> > Dear All,> > > > The short story :- I am chanting ...... WHATEVER> IT TAKES. And > email > > breaks are part of the game. I wish I could say "I> have realized > God. > > You too can. Go in peace my children". But> honestly prompts me to > say > > otherwise . May be one of these days ....> > > > > > The loooooooong story :- > > > > Nov 21st :- > > > > It was just this morning that I felt so good to> have chanted the > > entire Chandi in a disciplined and orderly manner> (Niyata pranatah > > smatam - as it says in Chapter 5). This was the> make up Chandi for > > yesterday.> > > > You would think that the bhav would remain for> atleast a few hours > > and I could complete today's requirements without> any problems.> > > > I did all the right things - took off early from> work, even managed > > to avoid the temptation of a good time on a Friday> evening with the > > satsang at Ananda Kamalalaya and sat in front of> Maa at 8.> > > > I finished the prayog and just about decided I had> enough and went > to > > bed early. > > > > Strange - full of loftiness in the morning , and> then ..... down > the > > drain at night.> > > > Now I have to make up for tonight's parayan one> other day.> > > > Nov 22nd :- > > > > I head for the Ashram in the evening. I bow to Maa> and Swamiji > after > > the class. They are so sweet .Maa sez that she> doesnt want me to > > make her breakfast tomorrow . My feeling> thermometer plummets > > but "obedience to the Guru" is the motto.> "Whatever You say Maa " . > > They are coming to San Jose and I ask them to> bless me by visiting > > my humble apartment and partake of some modest> meals made with my > own > > little hands. Swamiji in his forthright fashion> sez "I'd rather not > > go anywhere but I gotta go to San Jose for> something and I dont > > really wanna go to your apartment next to your> work. Besides this > is > > your home" . > > > > Typical Swamiji - his forthrightness never stings> , it is always a > > breath of fresh air. And besides I dont think much> else of what he > > said after he said "this is your home, thats an> apartment close to > > your work" . It was ringing in my mind throughout> the evening.> > > > I sit in front of my altar in the Mandir. 8> o'clock. I am done by > > 10.30. Smooth smooth smooth sailing. I still> have to make up for > > ydays Chandi - dont know when I am gonna do that.> > > > That night is Amavasya and one of the senior> disciples at the > Mandir > > is starting Kali puja at 11 pm. How long will it> take , I asked > her. > > Oh about 2 hours , she replied very casually. The> people here never > > cease to amaze me -as though it was everyday that> she did a 2 hr > puja > > starting at 11 in the night. I stayed up and> followed her lead for > > the puja and retire reluctantly at 1 am. I still> had enough energy > > left to chop wood and run a few laps ... but go to> sleep.> > > > That's what the Mandir does to you.> > > > Nov 23rd :- > > > > Get up in the morning and finish my Shiva Puja. I> finish and I am > > thinking what to do. Maa didnt want me to cook> her breakfast , and > > so I was contemplating my next strategic move (> supposing I just > cook > > and give it to them, what will she say ?) when Maa> and Swami > entered > > the temple for their morning prayers .> > > > Maa came towards me and I turn (didnt get up cos> my leg was sore) > > towards her and bow . She comes and hugs me and> kisses me. > > > > I am still reeling under her dazzling smile as she> goes back to > start > > her puja.> > > > I am sitting in front of my altar and watch the> battle between > Latha > > the one-thats-just-been-hugged-and-kissed and> Latha the Reasoning > and > > Sensible individual and wannabe disciple.> > > > Latha -the one_o_t_j_b_h_a_k says fiercely to Maa> (in her mind) :-> > "I AM GONNA COOK YOUR BREAKFAST.YOU DONT HAFTA> EAT IT . BUT I CAN > > COOK IT CANT I? AND I AM GONNA MAKE IT> DEEELICIOUS. ADD ALL THE > GHEE > > I CAN AND MAKE IT SO SO GOOD" > > > > Latha the R. and S.I and W.D argues equally> fiercely - " SHE SAID > NO > > LATHA. ARE YOU GONNA DISOBEY A DIRECT ORDER AND> LOSE YOUR CHANCES > > WITH A GURU IN THIS LIFE AND FOR THE NEXT FEW> LIVES AND SQUIRM IN A > > NON-GURU HELL"> > > > And the fierce battle rages for 5000> years...rather half an hour.> > > > At this point both Maa and Swami have started> their puja and I > watch > === message truncated ===Free Pop-Up Blocker - Get it nowhttp://companion./To from this group, send an email to:Your use of is subject to the Free Pop-Up Blocker - Get it now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2003 Report Share Posted December 1, 2003 I also appreciate your frankness. Too often we get worried about what others will think and I'm glad you are stopping out on a limp to do something different:) I have a question/concern. Where does this belief come from? SHE SAID "NO > > LATHA. ARE YOU GONNA DISOBEY A DIRECT ORDER AND> LOSE YOUR CHANCES WITH A GURU IN THIS LIFE AND FOR THE NEXT FEW LIVES AND SQUIRM IN A NON-GURU HELL" It always baffles me where people get these idea's about Guru. If a Guru would damn a disciple to a Guruless hell, they do not know Guru and they are a sham. The SatGuru doesn't place curses or damn any disciple to hell for disobeying an order. Sounds more like hell to me, like selling your soul to a devil. 'Do what Lucifer says or else!' Do people really beleive this? We are NEVER without Guru - EVER! Can you tell me if this is a superstitious beleif that stems from the superstition of India or do people really beleive this? I love your trials, but to 'lose chances with a Guru' who would damn me? I would be lucky to loose a Guru who would damn me or anyone else. That is not Guru or the nature of SatGuru in any way. That is black magic and having absolutely NO UNDERSTANDING at all. Help me understand this thought form. Where does it come from? Love everything else you post and I realize this was not your thought, but it was posted, so I ask these questions. Do you beleive you would be in a Guruless pit for lifetimes if you cooked for your Guru when she told you not to? Do you realize the one who beleives this is already in the pit? Good God, Ma please forever protect me from Guru's who would ever damn or curse another disciple! Protect me forever from their misunderstanding of who you are!" Jai Maa! Kelly <kaliananda_saraswati > wrote:> Beloved Latha,> > I bow to the Divinity within you.> It is really wonderful to read your Diary with all> the > play/determination/etc that evolves, but in the end> what I enjoy most > is the complete honesty with which the journal is> produced. How did > Latha the R. and S.I and W.D. maintain composure> after being hugged > and kissed by Mother? What a beautiful blessing you> received. > > Regarding the meal, maybe your willingness and also> the love and > devotion with which the meal was prepared was more> important than the > actual meal.> > On an earlier post at the start of this sankalpa,> you made mention of > an autobiography, well Dear One, seems like you have> a very good > start to making that idea a reality. > May Goddess Chandi continue to bless you.> > Jai Maa> Kali> > > --- In , "Latha Nanda"> <lathananda> > wrote:> > Dear All,> > > > The short story :- I am chanting ...... WHATEVER> IT TAKES. And > email > > breaks are part of the game. I wish I could say "I> have realized > God. > > You too can. Go in peace my children". But> honestly prompts me to > say > > otherwise . May be one of these days ....> > > > > > The loooooooong story :- > > > > Nov 21st :- > > > > It was just this morning that I felt so good to> have chanted the > > entire Chandi in a disciplined and orderly manner> (Niyata pranatah > > smatam - as it says in Chapter 5). This was the> make up Chandi for > > yesterday.> > > > You would think that the bhav would remain for> atleast a few hours > > and I could complete today's requirements without> any problems.> > > > I did all the right things - took off early from> work, even managed > > to avoid the temptation of a good time on a Friday> evening with the > > satsang at Ananda Kamalalaya and sat in front of> Maa at 8.> > > > I finished the prayog and just about decided I had> enough and went > to > > bed early. > > > > Strange - full of loftiness in the morning , and> then ...... down > the > > drain at night.> > > > Now I have to make up for tonight's parayan one> other day.> > > > Nov 22nd :- > > > > I head for the Ashram in the evening. I bow to Maa> and Swamiji > after > > the class. They are so sweet .Maa sez that she> doesnt want me to > > make her breakfast tomorrow . My feeling> thermometer plummets > > but "obedience to the Guru" is the motto.> "Whatever You say Maa " . > > They are coming to San Jose and I ask them to> bless me by visiting > > my humble apartment and partake of some modest> meals made with my > own > > little hands. Swamiji in his forthright fashion> sez "I'd rather not > > go anywhere but I gotta go to San Jose for> something and I dont > > really wanna go to your apartment next to your> work. Besides this > is > > your home" . > > > > Typical Swamiji - his forthrightness never stings> , it is always a > > breath of fresh air. And besides I dont think much> else of what he > > said after he said "this is your home, thats an> apartment close to > > your work" . It was ringing in my mind throughout> the evening.> > > > I sit in front of my altar in the Mandir. 8> o'clock. I am done by > > 10.30. Smooth smooth smooth sailing. I still> have to make up for > > ydays Chandi - dont know when I am gonna do that.> > > > That night is Amavasya and one of the senior> disciples at the > Mandir > > is starting Kali puja at 11 pm. How long will it> take , I asked > her. > > Oh about 2 hours , she replied very casually. The> people here never > > cease to amaze me -as though it was everyday that> she did a 2 hr > puja > > starting at 11 in the night. I stayed up and> followed her lead for > > the puja and retire reluctantly at 1 am. I still> had enough energy > > left to chop wood and run a few laps ... but go to> sleep.> > > > That's what the Mandir does to you.> > > > Nov 23rd :- > > > > Get up in the morning and finish my Shiva Puja. I> finish and I am > > thinking what to do. Maa didnt want me to cook> her breakfast , and > > so I was contemplating my next strategic move (> supposing I just > cook > > and give it to them, what will she say ?) when Maa> and Swami > entered > > the temple for their morning prayers ..> > > > Maa came towards me and I turn (didnt get up cos> my leg was sore) > > towards her and bow . She comes and hugs me and> kisses me. > > > > I am still reeling under her dazzling smile as she> goes back to > start > > her puja.> > > > I am sitting in front of my altar and watch the> battle between > Latha > > the one-thats-just-been-hugged-and-kissed and> Latha the Reasoning > and > > Sensible individual and wannabe disciple.> > > > Latha -the one_o_t_j_b_h_a_k says fiercely to Maa> (in her mind) :-> > "I AM GONNA COOK YOUR BREAKFAST.YOU DONT HAFTA> EAT IT . BUT I CAN > > COOK IT CANT I? AND I AM GONNA MAKE IT> DEEELICIOUS. ADD ALL THE > GHEE > > I CAN AND MAKE IT SO SO GOOD" > > > > Latha the R. and S.I and W.D argues equally> fiercely - " SHE SAID > NO > > LATHA. ARE YOU GONNA DISOBEY A DIRECT ORDER AND> LOSE YOUR CHANCES > > WITH A GURU IN THIS LIFE AND FOR THE NEXT FEW> LIVES AND SQUIRM IN A > > NON-GURU HELL"> > > > And the fierce battle rages for 5000> years...rather half an hour.> > > > At this point both Maa and Swami have started> their puja and I > watch > === message truncated ===Free Pop-Up Blocker - Get it nowhttp://companion./To from this group, send an email to:Your use of is subject to the Protect your identity with Mail AddressGuard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2003 Report Share Posted December 1, 2003 Namaste Kelly, Great to have you back ! We missed you. Those were my words to my self and therefore my viewpoint. If you see the line prior , you will see it was stated by "Latha the R. and S.I and W.D argues equally fiercely - "SHE SAID NO LATHA etc etc"" The dialogue was between Me and Myself and I take full responsibility for my thoughts ) And you are correct, those are just my light- hearted projections on what I think might happen ... Kidding apart, the dialogue is between what I like to do which is sweet and warm and fuzzy and sentimental and convenient for me versus what the Guru knows that you need for your growth which may not at all be sweet and sentimental and mostly darned inconvenient . It is a dilemma between doing what you like vs what Maa wants. And I chose to do what Maa wanted. And never regretted it. Jai Maa, Latha , Kelly Leeper <blissnout> wrote: > Latha Nanda, > > I also appreciate your frankness. Too often we get worried about what others will think and I'm glad you are stopping out on a limp to do something different:) > > I have a question/concern. Where does this belief come from? > SHE SAID "NO > > > LATHA. ARE YOU GONNA DISOBEY A DIRECT ORDER AND > > LOSE YOUR CHANCES WITH A GURU IN THIS LIFE AND FOR THE NEXT FEW LIVES AND SQUIRM IN A NON-GURU HELL" > > It always baffles me where people get these idea's about Guru. If a Guru would damn a disciple to a Guruless hell, they do not know Guru and they are a sham. The SatGuru doesn't place curses or damn any disciple to hell for disobeying an order. Sounds more like hell to me, like selling your soul to a devil. 'Do what Lucifer says or else!' Do people really beleive this? We are NEVER without Guru - EVER! Can you tell me if this is a superstitious beleif that stems from the superstition of India or do people really beleive this? I love your trials, but to 'lose chances with a Guru' who would damn me? I would be lucky to loose a Guru who would damn me or anyone else. That is not Guru or the nature of SatGuru in any way. That is black magic and having absolutely NO UNDERSTANDING at all. > > Help me understand this thought form. Where does it come from? Love everything else you post and I realize this was not your thought, but it was posted, so I ask these questions. Do you beleive you would be in a Guruless pit for lifetimes if you cooked for your Guru when she told you not to? Do you realize the one who beleives this is already in the pit? Good God, Ma please forever protect me from Guru's who would ever damn or curse another disciple! Protect me forever from their misunderstanding of who you are!" > > Jai Maa! > > Kelly > > > > <kaliananda_saraswati> wrote: > > Beloved Latha, > > > > I bow to the Divinity within you. > > It is really wonderful to read your Diary with all > > the > > play/determination/etc that evolves, but in the end > > what I enjoy most > > is the complete honesty with which the journal is > > produced. How did > > Latha the R. and S.I and W.D. maintain composure > > after being hugged > > and kissed by Mother? What a beautiful blessing you > > received. > > > > Regarding the meal, maybe your willingness and also > > the love and > > devotion with which the meal was prepared was more > > important than the > > actual meal. > > > > On an earlier post at the start of this sankalpa, > > you made mention of > > an autobiography, well Dear One, seems like you have > > a very good > > start to making that idea a reality. > > May Goddess Chandi continue to bless you. > > > > Jai Maa > > Kali > > > > > > , "Latha Nanda" > > <lathananda> > > wrote: > > > Dear All, > > > > > > The short story :- I am chanting ...... WHATEVER > > IT TAKES. And > > email > > > breaks are part of the game. I wish I could say "I > > have realized > > God. > > > You too can. Go in peace my children". But > > honestly prompts me to > > say > > > otherwise . May be one of these days .... > > > > > > > > > The loooooooong story :- > > > > > > Nov 21st :- > > > > > > It was just this morning that I felt so good to > > have chanted the > > > entire Chandi in a disciplined and orderly manner > > (Niyata pranatah > > > smatam - as it says in Chapter 5). This was the > > make up Chandi for > > > yesterday. > > > > > > You would think that the bhav would remain for > > atleast a few hours > > > and I could complete today's requirements without > > any problems. > > > > > > I did all the right things - took off early from > > work, even managed > > > to avoid the temptation of a good time on a Friday > > evening with the > > > satsang at Ananda Kamalalaya and sat in front of > > Maa at 8. > > > > > > I finished the prayog and just about decided I had > > enough and went > > to > > > bed early. > > > > > > Strange - full of loftiness in the morning , and > > then ..... down > > the > > > drain at night. > > > > > > Now I have to make up for tonight's parayan one > > other day. > > > > > > Nov 22nd :- > > > > > > I head for the Ashram in the evening. I bow to Maa > > and Swamiji > > after > > > the class. They are so sweet .Maa sez that she > > doesnt want me to > > > make her breakfast tomorrow . My feeling > > thermometer plummets > > > but "obedience to the Guru" is the motto. > > "Whatever You say Maa " . > > > They are coming to San Jose and I ask them to > > bless me by visiting > > > my humble apartment and partake of some modest > > meals made with my > > own > > > little hands. Swamiji in his forthright fashion > > sez "I'd rather not > > > go anywhere but I gotta go to San Jose for > > something and I dont > > > really wanna go to your apartment next to your > > work. Besides this > > is > > > your home" . > > > > > > Typical Swamiji - his forthrightness never stings > > , it is always a > > > breath of fresh air. And besides I dont think much > > else of what he > > > said after he said "this is your home, thats an > > apartment close to > > > your work" . It was ringing in my mind throughout > > the evening. > > > > > > I sit in front of my altar in the Mandir. 8 > > o'clock. I am done by > > > 10.30. Smooth smooth smooth sailing. I still > > have to make up for > > > ydays Chandi - dont know when I am gonna do that. > > > > > > That night is Amavasya and one of the senior > > disciples at the > > Mandir > > > is starting Kali puja at 11 pm. How long will it > > take , I asked > > her. > > > Oh about 2 hours , she replied very casually. The > > people here never > > > cease to amaze me -as though it was everyday that > > she did a 2 hr > > puja > > > starting at 11 in the night. I stayed up and > > followed her lead for > > > the puja and retire reluctantly at 1 am. I still > > had enough energy > > > left to chop wood and run a few laps ... but go to > > sleep. > > > > > > That's what the Mandir does to you. > > > > > > Nov 23rd :- > > > > > > Get up in the morning and finish my Shiva Puja. I > > finish and I am > > > thinking what to do. Maa didnt want me to cook > > her breakfast , and > > > so I was contemplating my next strategic move ( > > supposing I just > > cook > > > and give it to them, what will she say ?) when Maa > > and Swami > > entered > > > the temple for their morning prayers . > > > > > > Maa came towards me and I turn (didnt get up cos > > my leg was sore) > > > towards her and bow . She comes and hugs me and > > kisses me. > > > > > > I am still reeling under her dazzling smile as she > > goes back to > > start > > > her puja. > > > > > > I am sitting in front of my altar and watch the > > battle between > > Latha > > > the one-thats-just-been-hugged-and-kissed and > > Latha the Reasoning > > and > > > Sensible individual and wannabe disciple. > > > > > > Latha -the one_o_t_j_b_h_a_k says fiercely to Maa > > (in her mind) :- > > > "I AM GONNA COOK YOUR BREAKFAST.YOU DONT HAFTA > > EAT IT . BUT I CAN > > > COOK IT CANT I? AND I AM GONNA MAKE IT > > DEEELICIOUS. ADD ALL THE > > GHEE > > > I CAN AND MAKE IT SO SO GOOD" > > > > > > Latha the R. and S.I and W.D argues equally > > fiercely - " SHE SAID > > NO > > > LATHA. ARE YOU GONNA DISOBEY A DIRECT ORDER AND > > LOSE YOUR CHANCES > > > WITH A GURU IN THIS LIFE AND FOR THE NEXT FEW > > LIVES AND SQUIRM IN A > > > NON-GURU HELL" > > > > > > And the fierce battle rages for 5000 > > years...rather half an hour. > > > > > > At this point both Maa and Swami have started > > their puja and I > > watch > > > === message truncated === > > > > > Free Pop-Up Blocker - Get it now > http://companion./ > > > Sponsor > > > > > > > Terms of Service. > > > > > Protect your identity with Mail AddressGuard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2003 Report Share Posted December 1, 2003 Latha, Glad to be back:) Good to see you again:) So glad you explained! I couldn't figure out those were other voices in your head. You will never lose Guru, just know that so I can rest. Freaked me out:) I've heard of Guru's cursing disciples if they don't worship them that they will be in hell for the rest of their days. You can imagine... I thought, No not Latha, God protect her from any Guru who would place a stupid impotent curse on her! If we make our own decision instead of following the guru it's JUST a lesson, that is all. We give alot of this so much power over us instead of empowerment. Glad to know you don't beleive that:) Love,Kelly Latha Nanda <lathananda > wrote: Namaste Kelly,Great to have you back ! We missed you.Those were my words to my self and therefore my viewpoint. If you see the line prior , you will see it was stated by "Latha the R. and S.I and W.D argues equally fiercely - "SHE SAID NO LATHA etc etc""The dialogue was between Me and Myself and I take full responsibility for my thoughts ) And you are correct, those are just my light-hearted projections on what I think might happen ....Kidding apart, the dialogue is between what I like to do which is sweet and warm and fuzzy and sentimental and convenient for me versus what the Guru knows that you need for your growth which may not at all be sweet and sentimental and mostly darned inconvenient .It is a dilemma between doing what you like vs what Maa wants.And I chose to do what Maa wanted. And never regretted it.Jai Maa,Latha, Kelly Leeper <blissnout> wrote:> Latha Nanda,> > I also appreciate your frankness. Too often we get worried about what others will think and I'm glad you are stopping out on a limp to do something different:)> > I have a question/concern. Where does this belief come from?> SHE SAID "NO > > > LATHA. ARE YOU GONNA DISOBEY A DIRECT ORDER AND> > LOSE YOUR CHANCES WITH A GURU IN THIS LIFE AND FOR THE NEXT FEW LIVES AND SQUIRM IN A NON-GURU HELL"> > It always baffles me where people get these idea's about Guru. If a Guru would damn a disciple to a Guruless hell, they do not know Guru and they are a sham. The SatGuru doesn't place curses or damn any disciple to hell for disobeying an order. Sounds more like hell to me, like selling your soul to a devil. 'Do what Lucifer says or else!' Do people really beleive this? We are NEVER without Guru - EVER! Can you tell me if this is a superstitious beleif that stems from the superstition of India or do people really beleive this? I love your trials, but to 'lose chances with a Guru' who would damn me? I would be lucky to loose a Guru who would damn me or anyone else. That is not Guru or the nature of SatGuru in any way. That is black magic and having absolutely NO UNDERSTANDING at all.> > Help me understand this thought form. Where does it come from? Love everything else you post and I realize this was not your thought, but it was posted, so I ask these questions. Do you beleive you would be in a Guruless pit for lifetimes if you cooked for your Guru when she told you not to? Do you realize the one who beleives this is already in the pit? Good God, Ma please forever protect me from Guru's who would ever damn or curse another disciple! Protect me forever from their misunderstanding of who you are!" > > Jai Maa!> > Kelly> > > > <kaliananda_saraswati> wrote:> > Beloved Latha,> > > > I bow to the Divinity within you.> > It is really wonderful to read your Diary with all> > the > > play/determination/etc that evolves, but in the end> > what I enjoy most > > is the complete honesty with which the journal is> > produced. How did > > Latha the R. and S.I and W.D. maintain composure> > after being hugged > > and kissed by Mother? What a beautiful blessing you> > received. > > > > Regarding the meal, maybe your willingness and also> > the love and > > devotion with which the meal was prepared was more> > important than the > > actual meal.> > > > On an earlier post at the start of this sankalpa,> > you made mention of > > an autobiography, well Dear One, seems like you have> > a very good > > start to making that idea a reality. > > May Goddess Chandi continue to bless you.> > > > Jai Maa> > Kali> > > > > > , "Latha Nanda"> > <lathananda> > > wrote:> > > Dear All,> > > > > > The short story :- I am chanting ...... WHATEVER> > IT TAKES. And > > email > > > breaks are part of the game. I wish I could say "I> > have realized > > God. > > > You too can. Go in peace my children". But> > honestly prompts me to > > say > > > otherwise . May be one of these days ....> > > > > > > > > The loooooooong story :- > > > > > > Nov 21st :- > > > > > > It was just this morning that I felt so good to> > have chanted the > > > entire Chandi in a disciplined and orderly manner> > (Niyata pranatah > > > smatam - as it says in Chapter 5). This was the> > make up Chandi for > > > yesterday.> > > > > > You would think that the bhav would remain for> > atleast a few hours > > > and I could complete today's requirements without> > any problems.> > > > > > I did all the right things - took off early from> > work, even managed > > > to avoid the temptation of a good time on a Friday> > evening with the > > > satsang at Ananda Kamalalaya and sat in front of> > Maa at 8.> > > > > > I finished the prayog and just about decided I had> > enough and went > > to > > > bed early. > > > > > > Strange - full of loftiness in the morning , and> > then ...... down > > the > > > drain at night.> > > > > > Now I have to make up for tonight's parayan one> > other day.> > > > > > Nov 22nd :- > > > > > > I head for the Ashram in the evening. I bow to Maa> > and Swamiji > > after > > > the class. They are so sweet .Maa sez that she> > doesnt want me to > > > make her breakfast tomorrow . My feeling> > thermometer plummets > > > but "obedience to the Guru" is the motto.> > "Whatever You say Maa " . > > > They are coming to San Jose and I ask them to> > bless me by visiting > > > my humble apartment and partake of some modest> > meals made with my > > own > > > little hands. Swamiji in his forthright fashion> > sez "I'd rather not > > > go anywhere but I gotta go to San Jose for> > something and I dont > > > really wanna go to your apartment next to your> > work. Besides this > > is > > > your home" . > > > > > > Typical Swamiji - his forthrightness never stings> > , it is always a > > > breath of fresh air. And besides I dont think much> > else of what he > > > said after he said "this is your home, thats an> > apartment close to > > > your work" . It was ringing in my mind throughout> > the evening.> > > > > > I sit in front of my altar in the Mandir. 8> > o'clock. I am done by > > > 10.30. Smooth smooth smooth sailing. I still> > have to make up for > > > ydays Chandi - dont know when I am gonna do that.> > > > > > That night is Amavasya and one of the senior> > disciples at the > > Mandir > > > is starting Kali puja at 11 pm. How long will it> > take , I asked > > her. > > > Oh about 2 hours , she replied very casually. The> > people here never > > > cease to amaze me -as though it was everyday that> > she did a 2 hr > > puja > > > starting at 11 in the night. I stayed up and> > followed her lead for > > > the puja and retire reluctantly at 1 am. I still> > had enough energy > > > left to chop wood and run a few laps ... but go to> > sleep.> > > > > > That's what the Mandir does to you.> > > > > > Nov 23rd :- > > > > > > Get up in the morning and finish my Shiva Puja. I> > finish and I am > > > thinking what to do. Maa didnt want me to cook> > her breakfast , and > > > so I was contemplating my next strategic move (> > supposing I just > > cook > > > and give it to them, what will she say ?) when Maa> > and Swami > > entered > > > the temple for their morning prayers .> > > > > > Maa came towards me and I turn (didnt get up cos> > my leg was sore) > > > towards her and bow . She comes and hugs me and> > kisses me. > > > > > > I am still reeling under her dazzling smile as she> > goes back to > > start > > > her puja.> > > > > > I am sitting in front of my altar and watch the> > battle between > > Latha > > > the one-thats-just-been-hugged-and-kissed and> > Latha the Reasoning > > and > > > Sensible individual and wannabe disciple.> > > > > > Latha -the one_o_t_j_b_h_a_k says fiercely to Maa> > (in her mind) :-> > > "I AM GONNA COOK YOUR BREAKFAST.YOU DONT HAFTA> > EAT IT . BUT I CAN > > > COOK IT CANT I? AND I AM GONNA MAKE IT> > DEEELICIOUS. ADD ALL THE > > GHEE > > > I CAN AND MAKE IT SO SO GOOD" > > > > > > Latha the R. and S.I and W.D argues equally> > fiercely - " SHE SAID > > NO > > > LATHA. ARE YOU GONNA DISOBEY A DIRECT ORDER AND> > LOSE YOUR CHANCES > > > WITH A GURU IN THIS LIFE AND FOR THE NEXT FEW> > LIVES AND SQUIRM IN A > > > NON-GURU HELL"> > > > > > And the fierce battle rages for 5000> > years...rather half an hour.> > > > > > At this point both Maa and Swami have started> > their puja and I > > watch > > > === message truncated ===> > > > > Free Pop-Up Blocker - Get it now> http://companion./> > > Sponsor> > To from this group, send an email to:> > > > > Your use of Groups is subject to the > > > > > Protect your identity with Mail AddressGuardTo from this group, send an email to:Your use of is subject to the Protect your identity with Mail AddressGuard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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