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Tonight Swamiji and Shree talked about humility, remaining humble, no

matter what your accomplishment, no matter your enlightenment, remaining

humble and close to the ground.

(Maa said, "no pillows!"--that is, no sitting high up on cushions, above others)

She said to remember to only look to yourself, don't pay much attention to

other people and their problems, pay attention to your own self; in other

words, similar to Sarada Devi when she said, (transl), "If you want peace of

mind, do not find fault with others, Rather see your own faults."

Simple wisdom for a complicated world, and it works!

Jai Maa

Jai Ramakrishna

Love,

Nitya

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I really like that "no pillows"!!!!

"nitya_ma" <nitya_ma >

Sun, 30 Nov 2003 07:48:48 -0000

No pillows!

Tonight Swamiji and Shree talked about humility, remaining humble, no

matter what your accomplishment, no matter your enlightenment, remaining

humble and close to the ground.

(Maa said, "no pillows!"--that is, no sitting high up on cushions, above others)

She said to remember to only look to yourself, don't pay much attention to

other people and their problems, pay attention to your own self; in other

words, similar to Sarada Devi when she said, (transl), "If you want peace of

mind, do not find fault with others, Rather see your own faults."

Simple wisdom for a complicated world, and it works!

Jai Maa

Jai Ramakrishna

Love,

Nitya

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And Swamiji said (paraphrase), "Be a low guru not a high guru, that way you

can only fall upward!"

 

I think its important to be who we are, not out egos, not our minds, but

the force behind our eyes. The true identity of she who is living through

us. If our egos and our minds accept that they are not her, then they can't

get trapped in their own dilusions.

 

Jai Swamiji,

 

Brian

 

 

At 11:48 PM 11/29/2003, you wrote:

>Tonight Swamiji and Shree talked about humility, remaining humble, no

>matter what your accomplishment, no matter your enlightenment, remaining

>humble and close to the ground.

>(Maa said, "no pillows!"--that is, no sitting high up on cushions, above

>others)

>She said to remember to only look to yourself, don't pay much attention to

>other people and their problems, pay attention to your own self; in other

>words, similar to Sarada Devi when she said, (transl), "If you want peace of

>mind, do not find fault with others, Rather see your own faults."

>Simple wisdom for a complicated world, and it works!

>Jai Maa

>Jai Ramakrishna

>Love,

>Nitya

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>Your use of is subject to

>

>

>

>

>---

>Incoming mail is certified Virus Free.

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>Version: 6.0.545 / Virus Database: 339 - Release 11/27/2003

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Humility is often misunderstood. It does not mean thinking you are

nothing and God is everything. How can God create anyone who is

insignificant, unimportant, or without value? True humility is being

humbled by your own magnificence, as well as the wonder and awe of all

of creation. You are humbled because you are deeply grateful for this

miraculous life, this astounding gift you have been given, as well as

this divine opportunity to experience heaven on this earth.

Furthermore, motivated by self-love as well as love of humanity-- and

seeing there is ultimately no separation between your true

self-interest and that of others-- your humility springs you into

service. You understand the amazing self-esteem of people like

Mother Teresa and Ghandhi who-- although they appeared to care little

for themselves-- actually had such a strong sense of self, purpose,

and love that there was no question of their giving themselves

completely to serve this world. Humility takes you out of spiritual

egotism and gives you the earthly wisdom you need to be fully

self-realized in a world of divine contradictions. Be humble. Be

strong. Learn to laugh more. Cry when you need to. Serve others

whenever given the chance. Ardis Jackson <anandamama (AT) earthlink (DOT) net>

wrote:

I really like that "no pillows"!!!!

"nitya_ma" <nitya_ma >

Date: Sun, 30 Nov 2003 07:48:48 -0000To:

Subject: No pillows!

Tonight Swamiji and Shree talked about humility, remaining humble, no

matter what your accomplishment, no matter your enlightenment,

remaininghumble and close to the ground.(Maa said, "no

pillows!"--that is, no sitting high up on cushions, above others)She

said to remember to only look to yourself, don't pay much attention

to other people and their problems, pay attention to your own self;

in other words, similar to Sarada Devi when she said, (transl), "If

you want peace of mind, do not find fault with others, Rather see

your own faults."Simple wisdom for a complicated world, and it

works!Jai MaaJai RamakrishnaLove,Nitya Sponsor

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Nitya Ma,

 

Yes, it is amazing to meet someone truly humble. They leave a

powerful impression. I think true humility (as opposed to the

carefully cultured variety) is a good gage of spiritual maturity.

 

Chris

 

, "nitya_ma" <nitya_ma> wrote:

> Tonight Swamiji and Shree talked about humility, remaining humble,

no

> matter what your accomplishment, no matter your enlightenment,

remaining

> humble and close to the ground.

> (Maa said, "no pillows!"--that is, no sitting high up on cushions,

above others)

> She said to remember to only look to yourself, don't pay much

attention to

> other people and their problems, pay attention to your own self; in

other

> words, similar to Sarada Devi when she said, (transl), "If you want

peace of

> mind, do not find fault with others, Rather see your own faults."

> Simple wisdom for a complicated world, and it works!

> Jai Maa

> Jai Ramakrishna

> Love,

> Nitya

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The divine paradox is that you are Her. Ego's are the filter of how

she comes out of us. There's no way to change that, but we can

purify the ego to align it with what is Truth.

If the disciple accepts they are not her, they will never find the

Truth because they will be so busy negating her presense within and

without of themselves and others, always making a difference. There

is no difference.

Jai Ma!

KellyBrian McKee <brian (AT) soulspark (DOT) org> wrote:

And Swamiji said (paraphrase), "Be a low guru not a high guru, that

way you can only fall upward!"I think its important to be who we are,

not out egos, not our minds, but the force behind our eyes. The true

identity of she who is living through us. If our egos and our minds

accept that they are not her, then they can't get trapped in their

own dilusions.Jai Swamiji,BrianAt 11:48 PM 11/29/2003, you

wrote:>Tonight Swamiji and Shree talked about humility, remaining

humble, no>matter what your accomplishment, no matter your

enlightenment, remaining>humble and close to the ground.>(Maa said,

"no pillows!"--that is, no sitting high up on cushions, above

>others)>She said to remember to only look to yourself, don't pay

much attention to>other people and their problems, pay attention

to your own self; in other>words, similar to Sarada Devi when she

said, (transl), "If you want peace of>mind, do not find fault with

others, Rather see your own faults.">Simple wisdom for a complicated

world, and it works!>Jai Maa>Jai Ramakrishna>Love,>Nitya>>>>>>>>To

from this group, send an email

to:>>>>>Your use of

Groups is subject to

>>>>>--->Incoming mail is certified

Virus Free.>Checked by AVG anti-virus system

(http://www.grisoft.com).>Version: 6.0.545 / Virus Database: 339 -

Release 11/27/2003To from this group, send an email

to:Your use of is

subject to the ---Outgoing mail is certified

Virus Free.Checked by AVG anti-virus system

(http://www.grisoft.com).Version: 6.0.545 / Virus Database: 339 -

Release 11/27/2003rian

 

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Kelly,

In my opinion, the ego cannot recognize that it is goddess, because it

isn't. It really is just a side effect of consciousness meeting

reality. Its like what happens when a soap bubble (a sphere) meets a

glass plane, at the place where they touch, a circle is seen. Ego is

that circle, merely a projection of the sphere of consciousness. The

cirlce itself isn't really there, its just a perception from the

plane of the glass. Maya is the glass plane.

We are not our ego, nor our mind, nor our body or emotions. We are

much more than those things. We are the sphere.

When I contemplate the realization that I am god, I am changing my

perspective to match hers, I am not claiming that my ego or my mind

are god.

Its a subtle difference. But it keeps me from falling into self agrandizement.

In a very real sense, everything is mother, especially Maya herself,

but the maya is designed to be something representative of something

other than Mother goddess. And since mind, thoughts, emotions, and

ego are projections into the Maya, they are also designed to be

something they are not. Thus they are dualistic. They are circles of

the sphere.

So realizing that I am she who looks out through my eyes is a shift in

perspective, not an admition that the little me is "actually" the big

she. I am that (as Bhuvananda said Saturday to me) is "aware

awareness." It is identification with that which is not dualistic.

OM NAMASHIVAYA. OM HRIM SHRIM DUM DURGAYE NAMAHA.

Consciousness and energy are not dualistic and identification with

them is accurate. The ego, as such, cannot identify with anything but

dualism because it is limited to that of which it is made.

But our souls (as I like to call them) are not dualistic and shifting

our perspective to our soul and looking toward goddess removes us

from the dualistic nature of Maya.

Its not an ego process. Its not a mental process. Its not an emotional

process. Its a process of awareness. A process of surrender. The ego

is just an ego and accepts that. It is subserviant to the soul. The

circle's awareness accepts the presence of the greater sphere and

recognizes its own limitations. The sphere then realizes that it too

is just a part of a greater, multidimensional sphere that we call

goddess and it accepts itself at face value and surrenders to her.

Then in turn, she will do the same when she's done with this inner

growth of her own, when her universes have served her purpose.

The process involves Shiva and Shakti as the prototypes of

non-dualistic existance and the desire of the ego to become REALISTIC

with itself. Maybe thats why realization and realistic have the same

root word. Realization is simply everything realistically accepting

itself at face value and surrendering to its larger aspects.

I'm not sure I'm bringing across the point I'm trying to make, and to

be honest, as I haven't experienced non-duality (well I can't be sure

of that, some "odd" things have happened in my life). I'm not sure

this "mental" attempt to explain my "feelings" is going to produce

anything at all useful.

Did this make sense?

Brian

Kelly Leeper Dec 1, 2003 11:18

AM Re: No

pillows!

Brian,

The divine paradox is that you are Her. Ego's are the filter of how

she comes out of us. There's no way to change that, but we can

purify the ego to align it with what is Truth.

If the disciple accepts they are not her, they will never find the

Truth because they will be so busy negating her presense within and

without of themselves and others, always making a difference. There

is no difference.

Jai Ma!

KellyBrian McKee <brian (AT) soulspark (DOT) org> wrote:

And Swamiji said (paraphrase), "Be a low guru not a high guru, that

way you can only fall upward!"I think its important to be who we are,

not out egos, not our minds, but the force behind our eyes. The true

identity of she who is living through us. If our egos and our minds

accept that they are not her, then they can't get trapped in their

own dilusions.Jai Swamiji,BrianAt 11:48 PM 11/29/2003, you

wrote:>Tonight Swamiji and Shree talked about humility, remaining

humble, no>matter what your accomplishment, no matter your

enlightenment, remaining>humble and close to the ground.>(Maa said,

"no pillows!"--that is, no sitting high up on cushions, above

>others)>She said to remember to only look to yourself, don't pay

much attention to>other people and their problems, pay attention to

your own self; in other>words, similar to Sarada Devi when she said,

(transl), "If you want peace of>mind, do not find fault with others,

Rather see your own faults.">Simple wisdom for a complicated world,

and it works!>Jai Maa>Jai Ramakrishna>Love,>Nitya>>>>>>>>To

from this group, send an email

to:>>>>>Your use of

Groups is subject to

>>>>>--->Incoming mail is certified

Virus Free.>Checked by AVG anti-virus system

(http://www.grisoft.com).>Version: 6.0.545 / Virus Database: 339 -

Release 11/27/2003To from this group, send an email

to:Your use of is

subject to the ---Outgoing mail is certified

Virus Free.Checked by AVG anti-virus system

(http://www.grisoft.com).Version: 6.0.545 / Virus Database: 339 -

Release 11/27/2003

rian

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Brian,

What you say makes sense to me.

But it reminds me of a conversation I had with Swamiji. He said "you

don't drop the ego, it just gets bigger and bigger and thinner and

thinner like an expanding soap bubble until it disappears." I really

liked that description. I also liked the radiant smile that went with

it.

Ardis

Brian T McKee <brian (AT) soulspark (DOT) org>

Mon, 1 Dec 2003 12:40:12 -0800 (GMT-08:00)

Re: No pillows!

Kelly,

In my opinion, the ego cannot recognize that it is goddess, because it

isn't. It really is just a side effect of consciousness meeting

reality. Its like what happens when a soap bubble (a sphere) meets a

glass plane, at the place where they touch, a circle is seen. Ego is

that circle, merely a projection of the sphere of consciousness. The

cirlce itself isn't really there, its just a perception from the

plane of the glass. Maya is the glass plane.

We are not our ego, nor our mind, nor our body or emotions. We are

much more than those things. We are the sphere.

When I contemplate the realization that I am god, I am changing my

perspective to match hers, I am not claiming that my ego or my mind

are god.

Its a subtle difference. But it keeps me from falling into self agrandizement.

In a very real sense, everything is mother, especially Maya herself,

but the maya is designed to be something representative of something

other than Mother goddess. And since mind, thoughts, emotions, and

ego are projections into the Maya, they are also designed to be

something they are not. Thus they are dualistic. They are circles of

the sphere.

So realizing that I am she who looks out through my eyes is a shift in

perspective, not an admition that the little me is "actually" the big

she. I am that (as Bhuvananda said Saturday to me) is "aware

awareness." It is identification with that which is not dualistic.

OM NAMASHIVAYA. OM HRIM SHRIM DUM DURGAYE NAMAHA.

Consciousness and energy are not dualistic and identification with

them is accurate. The ego, as such, cannot identify with anything but

dualism because it is limited to that of which it is made.

But our souls (as I like to call them) are not dualistic and shifting

our perspective to our soul and looking toward goddess removes us

from the dualistic nature of Maya.

Its not an ego process. Its not a mental process. Its not an emotional

process. Its a process of awareness. A process of surrender. The ego

is just an ego and accepts that. It is subserviant to the soul. The

circle's awareness accepts the presence of the greater sphere and

recognizes its own limitations. The sphere then realizes that it too

is just a part of a greater, multidimensional sphere that we call

goddess and it accepts itself at face value and surrenders to her.

Then in turn, she will do the same when she's done with this inner

growth of her own, when her universes have served her purpose.

The process involves Shiva and Shakti as the prototypes of

non-dualistic existance and the desire of the ego to become REALISTIC

with itself. Maybe thats why realization and realistic have the same

root word. Realization is simply everything realistically accepting

itself at face value and surrendering to its larger aspects.

I'm not sure I'm bringing across the point I'm trying to make, and to

be honest, as I haven't experienced non-duality (well I can't be sure

of that, some "odd" things have happened in my life). I'm not sure

this "mental" attempt to explain my "feelings" is going to produce

anything at all useful.

Did this make sense?

Brian

Kelly Leeper

Dec 1, 2003 11:18 AM

Re: No pillows!

Brian,

The divine paradox is that you are Her. Ego's are the filter of how

she comes out of us. There's no way to change that, but we can

purify the ego to align it with what is Truth.

If the disciple accepts they are not her, they will never find the

Truth because they will be so busy negating her presense within and

without of themselves and others, always making a difference. There

is no difference.

Jai Ma!

Kelly

Brian McKee <brian (AT) soulspark (DOT) org> wrote:

And Swamiji said (paraphrase), "Be a low guru not a high guru, that way you

can only fall upward!"

I think its important to be who we are, not out egos, not our minds, but

the force behind our eyes. The true identity of she who is living through

us. If our egos and our minds accept that they are not her, then they can't

get trapped in their own dilusions.

Jai Swamiji,

Brian

At 11:48 PM 11/29/2003, you wrote:

>Tonight Swamiji and Shree talked about humility, remaining humble, no

>matter what your accomplishment, no matter your enlightenment, remaining

>humble and close to the ground.

>(Maa said, "no pillows!"--that is, no sitting high up on cushions, above

>others)

>She said to remember to only look to yourself, don't pay much attention to

>other people and their problems, pay attention to your own self; in other

>words, similar to Sarada Devi when she said, (transl), "If you want peace of

>mind, do not find fault with others, Rather see your own faults."

>Simple wisdom for a complicated world, and it works!

>Jai Maa

>Jai Ramakrishna

>Love,

>Nitya

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>Your use of is subject to

>

>

>

>

>---

>Incoming mail is certified Virus Free.

>Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). <http://www.grisoft.com)./>

>Version: 6.0.545 / Virus Database: 339 - Release 11/27/2003

 

Terms of Service

<> .

---

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rian

 

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Brian,

I can see what you are saying, but it was stated too mental to be of

practicle use for me, maybe not others, but for me. I think, and

from my experience, it's alot more simple. We give the ego too much

power in it's stronghold. I say this because in my experience, even

masters and the most enlightened people I have encountered have ego's

that are refined, not obliterated. Also, my neptune is in the first

house and neptune disolves the first house energies (ego) and so for

me, I see the ego as a very transparent entity. I don't see it as a

bad guy. If you make something bad,evil then you are at odds with it

and no unification will ever happen as long as there is duality. Once

the true nature of what the ego is is understood, there is not much of

a fight or opposing force. The aspirant no longer calls the ego the

bad guy or the undesireable because we understand what it really is.

The story of the Chandi is great for one who is

encountering their ego for the first time consciously when the ego

does have a stronghold and then even after realization (and advanced

sadhana) the disciple witnesses the ego as a mask. It's all in what

you identify with, are you the mask or the light coming thru the

mask? With sincereity we approach the path thru our ego. Thru

sadhana, we do our sadhana thru the ego and by the time kundalini

stikes, we have refined the ego to a state where the kundalini will

not shatter the person. If kundalini happens before the ego is

refined, the disciple shatters and they cannot operate at all

religiously or worldly. So, I see the ego not as the bad guy, but as

the mask we operate thru. When at a masquerade party, we see the

masks and not the person behind the mask. But when we wear the mask

we know we are not the mask but others don't know who we are because

they think WE are the mask and not the real mccoy. Ever notice how a

mask has

energy even if it's on the wall...kinda spooky like a clown face?

It's only a mask but still carries a drama. When we start sadhana

our mask might look like a beast or something otherworldly but as our

ego refines, the light shining thru the mask changes the mask. it's

still a mask, but it becomes more true to the energies the person

wearing the mask IS. The mask organic in that it changes, but the

light inside doesn't. Once we no longer want to play at the

masquerade ball, we leave this plane all together and drop the mask

and not until. When we realize we are not the mask but also realize

we have to wear it as a tool for the lila, then we understand the

Mask doesn't go away. It might get more transparent, thinner, but it

does not go away.

Energy is not non dual. It's both dual and non dual.

I've heard stories of peoples Guru's and what they say. The devotee

will always see the Guru as egoless, but if you take an obective

look, even Guru's in a physical body have their ego's even after

realization. To give the Mask or ego too much power is a mistake I

think.

So, when we affirm the Goddess in everyone, the light that shines thru

everyones mask, we affirm their enlightened potential to fruition.

Same for ourselves. This is why to concentrate on someone elses mask

is to avoid looking at our own and is a dead end. If you affirm you

are not the light of consciousness that comes thru the mask, then

what are you? If you affirm you are not Her for fear of self

agrandizement what are you focusing on? Brian, you are that and if

you fall into self agrandizement, you will get out of it. People

talk like the ego is the eternal damnation. It's a tool, that is

all. Take the charge off it and see it for what it is. Too much

emotional charge gives it way too much attention.

Jai Maa!

KellyBrian T McKee <brian (AT) soulspark (DOT) org> wrote:

Kelly,

In my opinion, the ego cannot recognize that it is goddess, because it

isn't. It really is just a side effect of consciousness meeting

reality. Its like what happens when a soap bubble (a sphere) meets a

glass plane, at the place where they touch, a circle is seen. Ego is

that circle, merely a projection of the sphere of consciousness. The

cirlce itself isn't really there, its just a perception from the

plane of the glass. Maya is the glass plane.

We are not our ego, nor our mind, nor our body or emotions. We are

much more than those things. We are the sphere.

When I contemplate the realization that I am god, I am changing my

perspective to match hers, I am not claiming that my ego or my mind

are god.

Its a subtle difference. But it keeps me from falling into self agrandizement.

In a very real sense, everything is mother, especially Maya herself,

but the maya is designed to be something representative of something

other than Mother goddess. And since mind, thoughts, emotions, and

ego are projections into the Maya, they are also designed to be

something they are not. Thus they are dualistic. They are circles of

the sphere.

So realizing that I am she who looks out through my eyes is a shift in

perspective, not an admition that the little me is "actually" the big

she. I am that (as Bhuvananda said Saturday to me) is "aware

awareness." It is identification with that which is not dualistic.

OM NAMASHIVAYA. OM HRIM SHRIM DUM DURGAYE NAMAHA.

Consciousness and energy are not dualistic and identification with

them is accurate. The ego, as such, cannot identify with anything but

dualism because it is limited to that of which it is made.

But our souls (as I like to call them) are not dualistic and shifting

our perspective to our soul and looking toward goddess removes us

from the dualistic nature of Maya.

Its not an ego process. Its not a mental process. Its not an emotional

process. Its a process of awareness. A process of surrender. The ego

is just an ego and accepts that. It is subserviant to the soul. The

circle's awareness accepts the presence of the greater sphere and

recognizes its own limitations. The sphere then realizes that it too

is just a part of a greater, multidimensional sphere that we call

goddess and it accepts itself at face value and surrenders to her.

Then in turn, she will do the same when she's done with this inner

growth of her own, when her universes have served her purpose.

The process involves Shiva and Shakti as the prototypes of

non-dualistic existance and the desire of the ego to become REALISTIC

with itself. Maybe thats why realization and realistic have the same

root word. Realization is simply everything realistically accepting

itself at face value and surrendering to its larger aspects.

I'm not sure I'm bringing across the point I'm trying to make, and to

be honest, as I haven't experienced non-duality (well I can't be sure

of that, some "odd" things have happened in my life). I'm not sure

this "mental" attempt to explain my "feelings" is going to produce

anything at all useful.

Did this make sense?

Brian

Kelly Leeper Dec 1, 2003 11:18

AM Re: No

pillows!

Brian,

The divine paradox is that you are Her. Ego's are the filter of how

she comes out of us. There's no way to change that, but we can

purify the ego to align it with what is Truth.

If the disciple accepts they are not her, they will never find the

Truth because they will be so busy negating her presense within and

without of themselves and others, always making a difference. There

is no difference.

Jai Ma!

KellyBrian McKee <brian (AT) soulspark (DOT) org> wrote:

And Swamiji said (paraphrase), "Be a low guru not a high guru, that

way you can only fall upward!"I think its important to be who we are,

not out egos, not our minds, but the force behind our eyes. The true

identity of she who is living through us. If our egos and our minds

accept that they are not her, then they can't get trapped in their

own dilusions.Jai Swamiji,BrianAt 11:48 PM 11/29/2003, you

wrote:>Tonight Swamiji and Shree talked about humility, remaining

humble, no>matter what your accomplishment, no matter your

enlightenment, remaining>humble and close to the ground.>(Maa said,

"no pillows!"--that is, no sitting high up on cushions, above

>others)>She said to remember to only look to yourself, don't pay

much attention to>other people and their problems, pay attention

to your own self; in other>words, similar to Sarada Devi when she

said, (transl), "If you want peace of>mind, do not find fault with

others, Rather see your own faults.">Simple wisdom for a complicated

world, and it works!>Jai Maa>Jai Ramakrishna>Love,>Nitya>>>>>>>>To

from this group, send an email

to:>>>>>Your use of

Groups is subject to

>>>>>--->Incoming mail is certified

Virus Free.>Checked by AVG anti-virus system

(http://www.grisoft.com).>Version: 6.0.545 / Virus Database: 339 -

Release 11/27/2003To from this group, send an email

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Kelly,

This is absolutely fabulous. I love your description of the ego as

the mask and the effect the light of consciousness has on the mask as

it shines through. You are so right about the ego being a tool.

Thank you, dear.

Ardis

Kelly Leeper <blissnout >

Mon, 1 Dec 2003 18:09:03 -0800 (PST)

Re: No pillows!

Brian,

I can see what you are saying, but it was stated too mental to be of

practicle use for me, maybe not others, but for me. I think, and

from my experience, it's alot more simple. We give the ego too much

power in it's stronghold. I say this because in my experience, even

masters and the most enlightened people I have encountered have ego's

that are refined, not obliterated. Also, my neptune is in the first

house and neptune disolves the first house energies (ego) and so for

me, I see the ego as a very transparent entity. I don't see it as a

bad guy. If you make something bad,evil then you are at odds with it

and no unification will ever happen as long as there is duality. Once

the true nature of what the ego is is understood, there is not much of

a fight or opposing force. The aspirant no longer calls the ego the

bad guy or the undesireable because we understand what it really is.

The story of the Chandi is great for one who is encountering their ego

for the first time consciously when the ego does have a stronghold and

then even after realization (and advanced sadhana) the disciple

witnesses the ego as a mask. It's all in what you identify with, are

you the mask or the light coming thru the mask? With sincereity we

approach the path thru our ego. Thru sadhana, we do our sadhana thru

the ego and by the time kundalini stikes, we have refined the ego to a

state where the kundalini will not shatter the person. If kundalini

happens before the ego is refined, the disciple shatters and they

cannot operate at all religiously or worldly. So, I see the ego not

as the bad guy, but as the mask we operate thru. When at a

masquerade party, we see the masks and not the person behind the

mask. But when we wear the mask we know we are not the mask but

others don't know who we are because they think WE are the mask and

not the real mccoy. Ever notice how a mask has energy even if it's

on the wall...kinda spooky like a clown face? It's only a mask but

still carries a drama. When we start sadhana our mask might look

like a beast or something otherworldly but as our ego refines, the

light shining thru the mask changes the mask. it's still a mask, but

it becomes more true to the energies the person wearing the mask IS.

The mask organic in that it changes, but the light inside doesn't.

Once we no longer want to play at the masquerade ball, we leave this

plane all together and drop the mask and not until. When we realize

we are not the mask but also realize we have to wear it as a tool for

the lila, then we understand the Mask doesn't go away. It might get

more transparent, thinner, but it does not go away.

Energy is not non dual. It's both dual and non dual.

I've heard stories of peoples Guru's and what they say. The devotee

will always see the Guru as egoless, but if you take an obective

look, even Guru's in a physical body have their ego's even after

realization. To give the Mask or ego too much power is a mistake I

think.

So, when we affirm the Goddess in everyone, the light that shines thru

everyones mask, we affirm their enlightened potential to fruition.

Same for ourselves. This is why to concentrate on someone elses mask

is to avoid looking at our own and is a dead end. If you affirm you

are not the light of consciousness that comes thru the mask, then

what are you? If you affirm you are not Her for fear of self

agrandizement what are you focusing on? Brian, you are that and if

you fall into self agrandizement, you will get out of it. People

talk like the ego is the eternal damnation. It's a tool, that is

all. Take the charge off it and see it for what it is. Too much

emotional charge gives it way too much attention.

Jai Maa!

Kelly

Brian T McKee <brian (AT) soulspark (DOT) org> wrote:

Kelly,

In my opinion, the ego cannot recognize that it is goddess, because it

isn't. It really is just a side effect of consciousness meeting

reality. Its like what happens when a soap bubble (a sphere) meets a

glass plane, at the place where they touch, a circle is seen. Ego is

that circle, merely a projection of the sphere of consciousness. The

cirlce itself isn't really there, its just a perception from the

plane of the glass. Maya is the glass plane.

We are not our ego, nor our mind, nor our body or emotions. We are

much more than those things. We are the sphere.

When I contemplate the realization that I am god, I am changing my

perspective to match hers, I am not claiming that my ego or my mind

are god.

Its a subtle difference. But it keeps me from falling into self agrandizement.

In a very real sense, everything is mother, especially Maya herself,

but the maya is designed to be something representative of something

other than Mother goddess. And since mind, thoughts, emotions, and

ego are projections into the Maya, they are also designed to be

something they are not. Thus they are dualistic. They are circles of

the sphere.

So realizing that I am she who looks out through my eyes is a shift in

perspective, not an admition that the little me is "actually" the big

she. I am that (as Bhuvananda said Saturday to me) is "aware

awareness." It is identification with that which is not dualistic.

OM NAMASHIVAYA. OM HRIM SHRIM DUM DURGAYE NAMAHA.

Consciousness and energy are not dualistic and identification with

them is accurate. The ego, as such, cannot identify with anything but

dualism because it is limited to that of which it is made.

But our souls (as I like to call them) are not dualistic and shifting

our perspective to our soul and looking toward goddess removes us

from the dualistic nature of Maya.

Its not an ego process. Its not a mental process. Its not an emotional

process. Its a process of awareness. A process of surrender. The ego

is just an ego and accepts that. It is subserviant to the soul. The

circle's awareness accepts the presence of the greater sphere and

recognizes its own limitations. The sphere then realizes that it too

is just a part of a greater, multidimensional sphere that we call

goddess and it accepts itself at face value and surrenders to her.

Then in turn, she will do the same when she's done with this inner

growth of her own, when her universes have served her purpose.

The process involves Shiva and Shakti as the prototypes of

non-dualistic existance and the desire of the ego to become REALISTIC

with itself. Maybe thats why realization and realistic have the same

root word. Realization is simply everything realistically accepting

itself at face value and surrendering to its larger aspects.

I'm not sure I'm bringing across the point I'm trying to make, and to

be honest, as I haven't experienced non-duality (well I can't be sure

of that, some "odd" things have happened in my life). I'm not sure

this "mental" attempt to explain my "feelings" is going to produce

anything at all useful.

Did this make sense?

Brian

Kelly Leeper

Dec 1, 2003 11:18 AM

Re: No pillows!

Brian,

The divine paradox is that you are Her. Ego's are the filter of how

she comes out of us. There's no way to change that, but we can

purify the ego to align it with what is Truth.

If the disciple accepts they are not her, they will never find the

Truth because they will be so busy negating her presense within and

without of themselves and others, always making a difference. There

is no difference.

Jai Ma!

Kelly

Brian McKee <brian (AT) soulspark (DOT) org> wrote:

And Swamiji said (paraphrase), "Be a low guru not a high guru, that way you

can only fall upward!"

I think its important to be who we are, not out egos, not our minds, but

the force behind our eyes. The true identity of she who is living through

us. If our egos and our minds accept that they are not her, then they can't

get trapped in their own dilusions.

Jai Swamiji,

Brian

At 11:48 PM 11/29/2003, you wrote:

>Tonight Swamiji and Shree talked about humility, remaining humble, no

>matter what your accomplishment, no matter your enlightenment, remaining

>humble and close to the ground.

>(Maa said, "no pillows!"--that is, no sitting high up on cushions, above

>others)

>She said to remember to only look to yourself, don't pay much attention to

>other people and their problems, pay attention to your own self; in other

>words, similar to Sarada Devi when she said, (transl), "If you want peace of

>mind, do not find fault with others, Rather see your own faults."

>Simple wisdom for a complicated world, and it works!

>Jai Maa

>Jai Ramakrishna

>Love,

>Nitya

>

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Kelly,

 

Yes. The ego forgets that She is the epitome of humility and loving

service. It focuses on the greatness, on separation rather than unity

with others, even those caught-up in evil.

 

Chris

 

 

 

, Kelly Leeper <blissnout>

wrote:

> Brian,

>

> The divine paradox is that you are Her. Ego's are the filter of

how she comes out of us. There's no way to change that, but we can

purify the ego to align it with what is Truth.

> If the disciple accepts they are not her, they will never find the

Truth because they will be so busy negating her presense within and

without of themselves and others, always making a difference. There

is no difference.

> Jai Ma!

> Kelly

>

> Brian McKee <brian@s...> wrote:

> And Swamiji said (paraphrase), "Be a low guru not a high guru, that

way you

> can only fall upward!"

>

> I think its important to be who we are, not out egos, not our

minds, but

> the force behind our eyes. The true identity of she who is living

through

> us. If our egos and our minds accept that they are not her, then

they can't

> get trapped in their own dilusions.

>

> Jai Swamiji,

>

> Brian

>

>

> At 11:48 PM 11/29/2003, you wrote:

>

> >Tonight Swamiji and Shree talked about humility, remaining humble,

no

> >matter what your accomplishment, no matter your enlightenment,

remaining

> >humble and close to the ground.

> >(Maa said, "no pillows!"--that is, no sitting high up on cushions,

above

> >others)

> >She said to remember to only look to yourself, don't pay much

attention to

> >other people and their problems, pay attention to your own self;

in other

> >words, similar to Sarada Devi when she said, (transl), "If you

want peace of

> >mind, do not find fault with others, Rather see your own faults."

> >Simple wisdom for a complicated world, and it works!

> >Jai Maa

> >Jai Ramakrishna

> >Love,

> >Nitya

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >Your use of is subject to

> >

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> >

> >---

> >Incoming mail is certified Virus Free.

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> Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).

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Ardis,

I like that analogy as well. The ego gets so thin thats its as if it

doesn't exist at all.And the Cheshire Cat grin, I love that too!

Brian

Ardis Jackson Dec 1, 2003 5:57

PM Re: No

pillows! Brian,What you say makes sense to me.But it reminds me of a

conversation I had with Swamiji. He said "you don't drop the ego, it

just gets bigger and bigger and thinner and thinner like an expanding

soap bubble until it disappears." I really liked that description.

I also liked the radiant smile that went with it.Ardis

Brian T McKee <brian (AT) soulspark (DOT) org>

Date: Mon, 1 Dec 2003 12:40:12 -0800

(GMT-08:00)Subject: Re:

No pillows!

Kelly,In my opinion, the ego cannot recognize that it is goddess,

because it isn't. It really is just a side effect of consciousness

meeting reality. Its like what happens when a soap bubble (a sphere)

meets a glass plane, at the place where they touch, a circle is seen.

Ego is that circle, merely a projection of the sphere of

consciousness. The cirlce itself isn't really there, its just a

perception from the plane of the glass. Maya is the glass plane.We

are not our ego, nor our mind, nor our body or emotions. We are much

more than those things. We are the sphere.When I contemplate the

realization that I am god, I am changing my perspective to match

hers, I am not claiming that my ego or my mind are god.Its a subtle

difference. But it keeps me from falling into self agrandizement.In a

very real sense, everything is mother, especially Maya herself, but

the maya is designed to be something representative of something

other than Mother goddess. And since mind, thoughts, emotions, and

ego are projections into the Maya, they are also designed to be

something they are not. Thus they are dualistic. They are circles of

the sphere.So realizing that I am she who looks out through my eyes

is a shift in perspective, not an admition that the little me is

"actually" the big she. I am that (as Bhuvananda said Saturday to me)

is "aware awareness." It is identification with that which is not

dualistic.OM NAMASHIVAYA. OM HRIM SHRIM DUM DURGAYE

NAMAHA.Consciousness and energy are not dualistic and identification

with them is accurate. The ego, as such, cannot identify with

anything but dualism because it is limited to that of which it is

made.But our souls (as I like to call them) are not dualistic and

shifting our perspective to our soul and looking toward goddess

removes us from the dualistic nature of Maya.Its not an ego process.

Its not a mental process. Its not an emotional process. Its a process

of awareness. A process of surrender. The ego is just an ego and

accepts that. It is subserviant to the soul. The circle's awareness

accepts the presence of the greater sphere and recognizes its own

limitations. The sphere then realizes that it too is just a part of a

greater, multidimensional sphere that we call goddess and it accepts

itself at face value and surrenders to her. Then in turn, she will do

the same when she's done with this inner growth of her own, when her

universes have served her purpose.The process involves Shiva and

Shakti as the prototypes of non-dualistic existance and the desire of

the ego to become REALISTIC with itself. Maybe thats why realization

and realistic have the same root word. Realization is simply

everything realistically accepting itself at face value and

surrendering to its larger aspects.I'm not sure I'm bringing across

the point I'm trying to make, and to be honest, as I haven't

experienced non-duality (well I can't be sure of that, some "odd"

things have happened in my life). I'm not sure this "mental" attempt

to explain my "feelings" is going to produce anything at all

useful.Did this make sense?Brian

Kelly Leeper Dec 1, 2003 11:18 AM To:

Re: No pillows!

Brian,The divine paradox is that you are Her. Ego's are the filter

of how she comes out of us. There's no way to change that, but we

can purify the ego to align it with what is Truth.If the disciple

accepts they are not her, they will never find the Truth because they

will be so busy negating her presense within and without of themselves

and others, always making a difference. There is no difference.Jai

Ma!KellyBrian McKee <brian (AT) soulspark (DOT) org> wrote:

And Swamiji said (paraphrase), "Be a low guru not a high guru, that

way you can only fall upward!"I think its important to be who we are,

not out egos, not our minds, but the force behind our eyes. The true

identity of she who is living through us. If our egos and our minds

accept that they are not her, then they can't get trapped in their

own dilusions.Jai Swamiji,BrianAt 11:48 PM 11/29/2003, you

wrote:>Tonight Swamiji and Shree talked about humility, remaining

humble, no>matter what your accomplishment, no matter your

enlightenment, remaining>humble and close to the ground.>(Maa said,

"no pillows!"--that is, no sitting high up on cushions, above

>others)>She said to remember to only look to yourself, don't pay

much attention to>other people and their problems, pay attention to

your own self; in other>words, similar to Sarada Devi when she said,

(transl), "If you want peace of>mind, do not find fault with others,

Rather see your own faults.">Simple wisdom for a complicated world,

and it works!>Jai Maa>Jai Ramakrishna>Love,>Nitya>>>>>>>>To

from this group, send an email

to:>>>>>Your use of

Groups is subject to

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Virus Free.>Checked by AVG anti-virus system

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Kelly,

I think you are assuming that I dislike my ego or fear it. I don't. I

used to. I spent a great deal of time in self deprecation fearing the

possibility of becoming an ego-maniac, but that's not where my post

came from. I actually think you and I believe along the same lines,

but our words are failing to communicate that similarity. We seem to

be arguing over the definition of words, not the intent behind them.

I don't see the energy as dual. That may just be a difference of

perspective. When I speak of energy I'm talking about the energy that

is sensed by my senses but is not composed of things that my senses

were designed to detect. The energy goes beyond feeling, it is LOVE

but not at all romantic in nature.

I see Maya as dual, but Maya herself is a creation of the energy, not

the energy itself and I think that's the root of its dualistic

nature. It is the fact that it is the energy manifested to be not the

energy that is its dual nature.The entire idea I was trying to bring

across in my post is that ego has to see itself for what it is and

then we, as the light behind the mask (as you describe it) can shift

our perspective and stop identifying with the mask.

My experience shows that most people identify with the aspects of the

mask that they feel safe with, usually the more positive aspects of

the mask. Oh its beautiful or its smart, they feel inside themselves.

But they have to ignore the negative aspects because they don't want

to see that the mask is flawed. It is denial of the full state of the

mask that drives people to continue to identify with things outside

even the mask.

Find a copy of "The Cave," by Plato, his analogy is perfect.

My first step in spiritual awakening was to recognize that I'm

imperfect and that who I am is not what I do in the world, what I

feel, what people think or feel about me, or how people treat me.

That brought me to the mask and after some effort to try and ignore

who it is, I finally accepted it for all its weaknesses. This lead me

to the question, "How did I (that is to say my mask) get to be so

messed up?"

Then began the peeling of the onion, the layers of the mask built by

fate, my surroundings, and my reactions to fate and my surroundings.

After a time, I found the light behind the mask because I had peeled

enough layers and grown sensative enough to the energy to begin to

see it and feel it. Now I acknowledge the light itself as part of me

and am working on identifying with it, instead of the mask. But the

mask itself is where my attention is right now. Its the level at

which I exist right now. I feel the energy, and I sense the

consciousness, but I don't yet identify with it.

This leads me back to what Bhuvananda said on Saturday. Aware

awareness. My awareness is focused on the mask and begining to sense

the energy and consciousness, but the question is: who is the

awareness itself? What is it that identifies with the mask? Is that

me? Or am I the energy or the consciousness I sense? I mentally know

that I'm not the mask, but I haven't yet experienced much beyond it,

I haven't yet identified with anything else.

I have only taken one small step. I stopped identifyiing myself with

objects in my life and with my body. But I still identify myself as

Brian the mind-ego thingy. Maa will continue to urge me toward my

final destination: that is union with awareness.

Swamiji often jokes about falling into too much and too little. I seem

to spend too much time bouncing between self-deprecation and self

aggrandizement. I keep them internal as much as is possible. The only

one I show them to is Swamiji and I don't understand why I do it.

Probably something to do with my search for a noble father figure.

But that's breaking into psychology and isn't really necessary.

OM AIM HRIM KLIM -- The first part of the Mantra to call the Energy Who Tears Apart Thought.

This is where I am on my journey, attempting to find balance of the

three gunas. Trying to make a way for Chandi to come in and do battle

on a balanced battle field. Unless I pave the way for her by

surrendering to her, she can't come in. It goes back to the promise

that Mother made when she created us, "I will not interfere in your

existance," she said, "your will is your own."

It is through the deliberate misunderstanding and deliberate

misleading of man that he fell during Kali-Yugh. It is on purpose and

part of the plan that we all forget who we are. It is through this

experience that we are given the opportunity to rediscover who we are

inviting Mother back into our lives. All pujas, all ceremonies, all

actions, all thoughts, all feelings, all Mantras, all words, all of

everything have that single purpose. Some things get us there faster

than others, but in the end it all comes down to the one: Maa.

I'm at the stage where I'm balancing my Rajas, Tamas, and Satva,

trying to prepare a way for mother to move in and show me who I am.

The point I was trying to make in my previous post is that it is only

through surrender to the now that I can continue on my journey. Only

through acceptance of my various aspects that I can continue to grow

toward balance. You can't balance that which you cannot see, so you

have to see it all, every positive and negative aspect of yourself.

I don't hate myself anymore. You don't have to worry about that. But you are right, I used to.

*hugs*

Thanks for caring,

Brian

Kelly Leeper Dec 1, 2003 6:09

PM Re: No

pillows!

Brian,

I can see what you are saying, but it was stated too mental to be of

practicle use for me, maybe not others, but for me. I think, and

from my experience, it's alot more simple. We give the ego too much

power in it's stronghold. I say this because in my experience, even

masters and the most enlightened people I have encountered have ego's

that are refined, not obliterated. Also, my neptune is in the first

house and neptune disolves the first house energies (ego) and so for

me, I see the ego as a very transparent entity. I don't see it as a

bad guy. If you make something bad,evil then you are at odds with it

and no unification will ever happen as long as there is duality. Once

the true nature of what the ego is is understood, there is not much of

a fight or opposing force. The aspirant no longer calls the ego the

bad guy or the undesireable because we understand what it really is.

The story of the Chandi is great for one who is encountering their ego

for the first time consciously when the ego does have a stronghold and

then even after realization (and advanced sadhana) the disciple

witnesses the ego as a mask. It's all in what you identify with, are

you the mask or the light coming thru the mask? With sincereity we

approach the path thru our ego. Thru sadhana, we do our sadhana thru

the ego and by the time kundalini stikes, we have refined the ego to a

state where the kundalini will not shatter the person. If kundalini

happens before the ego is refined, the disciple shatters and they

cannot operate at all religiously or worldly. So, I see the ego not

as the bad guy, but as the mask we operate thru. When at a

masquerade party, we see the masks and not the person behind the

mask. But when we wear the mask we know we are not the mask but

others don't know who we are because they think WE are the mask and

not the real mccoy. Ever notice how a mask has energy even if it's

on the wall...kinda spooky like a clown face? It's only a mask but

still carries a drama. When we start sadhana our mask might look

like a beast or something otherworldly but as our ego refines, the

light shining thru the mask changes the mask. it's still a mask, but

it becomes more true to the energies the person wearing the mask IS.

The mask organic in that it changes, but the light inside doesn't.

Once we no longer want to play at the masquerade ball, we leave this

plane all together and drop the mask and not until. When we realize

we are not the mask but also realize we have to wear it as a tool for

the lila, then we understand the Mask doesn't go away. It might get

more transparent, thinner, but it does not go away.

Energy is not non dual. It's both dual and non dual.

I've heard stories of peoples Guru's and what they say. The devotee

will always see the Guru as egoless, but if you take an obective

look, even Guru's in a physical body have their ego's even after

realization. To give the Mask or ego too much power is a mistake I

think.

So, when we affirm the Goddess in everyone, the light that shines thru

everyones mask, we affirm their enlightened potential to fruition.

Same for ourselves. This is why to concentrate on someone elses mask

is to avoid looking at our own and is a dead end. If you affirm you

are not the light of consciousness that comes thru the mask, then

what are you? If you affirm you are not Her for fear of self

agrandizement what are you focusing on? Brian, you are that and if

you fall into self agrandizement, you will get out of it. People

talk like the ego is the eternal damnation. It's a tool, that is

all. Take the charge off it and see it for what it is. Too much

emotional charge gives it way too much attention.

Jai Maa!

KellyBrian T McKee <brian (AT) soulspark (DOT) org> wrote:

Kelly,

In my opinion, the ego cannot recognize that it is goddess, because it

isn't. It really is just a side effect of consciousness meeting

reality. Its like what happens when a soap bubble (a sphere) meets a

glass plane, at the place where they touch, a circle is seen. Ego is

that circle, merely a projection of the sphere of consciousness. The

cirlce itself isn't really there, its just a perception from the

plane of the glass. Maya is the glass plane.

We are not our ego, nor our mind, nor our body or emotions. We are

much more than those things. We are the sphere.

When I contemplate the realization that I am god, I am changing my

perspective to match hers, I am not claiming that my ego or my mind

are god.

Its a subtle difference. But it keeps me from falling into self agrandizement.

In a very real sense, everything is mother, especially Maya herself,

but the maya is designed to be something representative of something

other than Mother goddess. And since mind, thoughts, emotions, and

ego are projections into the Maya, they are also designed to be

something they are not. Thus they are dualistic. They are circles of

the sphere.

So realizing that I am she who looks out through my eyes is a shift in

perspective, not an admition that the little me is "actually" the big

she. I am that (as Bhuvananda said Saturday to me) is "aware

awareness." It is identification with that which is not dualistic.

OM NAMASHIVAYA. OM HRIM SHRIM DUM DURGAYE NAMAHA.

Consciousness and energy are not dualistic and identification with

them is accurate. The ego, as such, cannot identify with anything but

dualism because it is limited to that of which it is made.

But our souls (as I like to call them) are not dualistic and shifting

our perspective to our soul and looking toward goddess removes us

from the dualistic nature of Maya.

Its not an ego process. Its not a mental process. Its not an emotional

process. Its a process of awareness. A process of surrender. The ego

is just an ego and accepts that. It is subserviant to the soul. The

circle's awareness accepts the presence of the greater sphere and

recognizes its own limitations. The sphere then realizes that it too

is just a part of a greater, multidimensional sphere that we call

goddess and it accepts itself at face value and surrenders to her.

Then in turn, she will do the same when she's done with this inner

growth of her own, when her universes have served her purpose.

The process involves Shiva and Shakti as the prototypes of

non-dualistic existance and the desire of the ego to become REALISTIC

with itself. Maybe thats why realization and realistic have the same

root word. Realization is simply everything realistically accepting

itself at face value and surrendering to its larger aspects.

I'm not sure I'm bringing across the point I'm trying to make, and to

be honest, as I haven't experienced non-duality (well I can't be sure

of that, some "odd" things have happened in my life). I'm not sure

this "mental" attempt to explain my "feelings" is going to produce

anything at all useful.

Did this make sense?

Brian

Kelly Leeper Dec 1, 2003 11:18

AM Re: No

pillows!

Brian,

The divine paradox is that you are Her. Ego's are the filter of how

she comes out of us. There's no way to change that, but we can

purify the ego to align it with what is Truth.

If the disciple accepts they are not her, they will never find the

Truth because they will be so busy negating her presense within and

without of themselves and others, always making a difference. There

is no difference.

Jai Ma!

KellyBrian McKee <brian (AT) soulspark (DOT) org> wrote:

And Swamiji said (paraphrase), "Be a low guru not a high guru, that

way you can only fall upward!"I think its important to be who we are,

not out egos, not our minds, but the force behind our eyes. The true

identity of she who is living through us. If our egos and our minds

accept that they are not her, then they can't get trapped in their

own dilusions.Jai Swamiji,BrianAt 11:48 PM 11/29/2003, you

wrote:>Tonight Swamiji and Shree talked about humility, remaining

humble, no>matter what your accomplishment, no matter your

enlightenment, remaining>humble and close to the ground.>(Maa said,

"no pillows!"--that is, no sitting high up on cushions, above

>others)>She said to remember to only look to yourself, don't pay

much attention to>other people and their problems, pay attention to

your own self; in other>words, similar to Sarada Devi when she said,

(transl), "If you want peace of>mind, do not find fault with others,

Rather see your own faults.">Simple wisdom for a complicated world,

and it works!>Jai Maa>Jai Ramakrishna>Love,>Nitya>>>>>>>>To

from this group, send an email

to:>>>>>Your use of

Groups is subject to

>>>>>--->Incoming mail is certified

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(http://www.grisoft.com).>Version: 6.0.545 / Virus Database: 339 -

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rian

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Thanks:) I'm passionate tonight and when I get that way I think

someone's gonna paddle my hiney. Teehee. So thanks for telling me

that:) Thank God Wednesday is my day off:) I'm up late!

Hugs and love,

KellyArdis Jackson <anandamama (AT) earthlink (DOT) net> wrote:

Kelly,This is absolutely fabulous. I love your description of the ego

as the mask and the effect the light of consciousness has on the mask

as it shines through. You are so right about the ego being a

tool.Thank you, dear.Ardis

Kelly Leeper <blissnout >

Date: Mon, 1 Dec 2003 18:09:03 -0800

(PST)Subject: Re: No

pillows!

Brian, I can see what you are saying, but it was stated too mental to

be of practicle use for me, maybe not others, but for me. I think,

and from my experience, it's alot more simple. We give the ego too

much power in it's stronghold. I say this because in my experience,

even masters and the most enlightened people I have encountered have

ego's that are refined, not obliterated. Also, my neptune is in the

first house and neptune disolves the first house energies (ego) and

so for me, I see the ego as a very transparent entity. I don't see

it as a bad guy. If you make something bad,evil then you are at odds

with it and no unification will ever happen as long as there is

duality. Once the true nature of what the ego is is understood,

there is not much of a fight or opposing force. The aspirant no

longer calls the ego the bad guy or the undesireable because we

understand what it really is. The story of the

Chandi is great for one who is encountering their ego for the first

time consciously when the ego does have a stronghold and then even

after realization (and advanced sadhana) the disciple witnesses the

ego as a mask. It's all in what you identify with, are you the mask

or the light coming thru the mask? With sincereity we approach the

path thru our ego. Thru sadhana, we do our sadhana thru the ego and

by the time kundalini stikes, we have refined the ego to a state

where the kundalini will not shatter the person. If kundalini

happens before the ego is refined, the disciple shatters and they

cannot operate at all religiously or worldly. So, I see the ego not

as the bad guy, but as the mask we operate thru. When at a

masquerade party, we see the masks and not the person behind the

mask. But when we wear the mask we know we are not the mask but

others don't know who we are because they think WE are the mask and

not the real mccoy.

Ever notice how a mask has energy even if it's on the wall...kinda

spooky like a clown face? It's only a mask but still carries a

drama. When we start sadhana our mask might look like a beast or

something otherworldly but as our ego refines, the light shining thru

the mask changes the mask. it's still a mask, but it becomes more

true to the energies the person wearing the mask IS. The mask

organic in that it changes, but the light inside doesn't. Once we no

longer want to play at the masquerade ball, we leave this plane all

together and drop the mask and not until. When we realize we are not

the mask but also realize we have to wear it as a tool for the lila,

then we understand the Mask doesn't go away. It might get more

transparent, thinner, but it does not go away. Energy is not non

dual. It's both dual and non dual. I've heard stories of peoples

Guru's and what they say. The devotee will

always see the Guru as egoless, but if you take an obective look, even

Guru's in a physical body have their ego's even after realization.

To give the Mask or ego too much power is a mistake I think.So, when

we affirm the Goddess in everyone, the light that shines thru

everyones mask, we affirm their enlightened potential to fruition.

Same for ourselves. This is why to concentrate on someone elses mask

is to avoid looking at our own and is a dead end. If you affirm you

are not the light of consciousness that comes thru the mask, then

what are you? If you affirm you are not Her for fear of self

agrandizement what are you focusing on? Brian, you are that and if

you fall into self agrandizement, you will get out of it. People

talk like the ego is the eternal damnation. It's a tool, that is

all. Take the charge off it and see it for what it is. Too much

emotional charge gives it way too much attention.Jai

Maa!KellyBrian T McKee <brian (AT) soulspark (DOT) org> wrote:

Kelly,In my opinion, the ego cannot recognize that it is goddess,

because it isn't. It really is just a side effect of consciousness

meeting reality. Its like what happens when a soap bubble (a sphere)

meets a glass plane, at the place where they touch, a circle is seen.

Ego is that circle, merely a projection of the sphere of

consciousness. The cirlce itself isn't really there, its just a

perception from the plane of the glass. Maya is the glass plane.We

are not our ego, nor our mind, nor our body or emotions. We are much

more than those things. We are the sphere.When I contemplate the

realization that I am god, I am changing my perspective to match

hers, I am not claiming that my ego or my mind are god.Its a subtle

difference. But it keeps me from falling into self agrandizement.In a

very real sense, everything is mother, especially Maya herself, but

the maya is designed to be something representative of something

other than Mother

goddess. And since mind, thoughts, emotions, and ego are projections

into the Maya, they are also designed to be something they are not.

Thus they are dualistic. They are circles of the sphere.So realizing

that I am she who looks out through my eyes is a shift in

perspective, not an admition that the little me is "actually" the big

she. I am that (as Bhuvananda said Saturday to me) is "aware

awareness." It is identification with that which is not dualistic.OM

NAMASHIVAYA. OM HRIM SHRIM DUM DURGAYE NAMAHA.Consciousness and

energy are not dualistic and identification with them is accurate.

The ego, as such, cannot identify with anything but dualism because

it is limited to that of which it is made.But our souls (as I like to

call them) are not dualistic and shifting our perspective to our soul

and looking toward goddess removes us from the dualistic nature of

Maya.Its not an ego process. Its not a mental process. Its not an

emotional process.

Its a process of awareness. A process of surrender. The ego is just an

ego and accepts that. It is subserviant to the soul. The circle's

awareness accepts the presence of the greater sphere and recognizes

its own limitations. The sphere then realizes that it too is just a

part of a greater, multidimensional sphere that we call goddess and

it accepts itself at face value and surrenders to her. Then in turn,

she will do the same when she's done with this inner growth of her

own, when her universes have served her purpose.The process involves

Shiva and Shakti as the prototypes of non-dualistic existance and the

desire of the ego to become REALISTIC with itself. Maybe thats why

realization and realistic have the same root word. Realization is

simply everything realistically accepting itself at face value and

surrendering to its larger aspects.I'm not sure I'm bringing across

the point I'm trying to make, and to be honest, as I haven't

experienced non-duality (well I

can't be sure of that, some "odd" things have happened in my life).

I'm not sure this "mental" attempt to explain my "feelings" is going

to produce anything at all useful.Did this make

sense?Brian Kelly Leeper Dec 1,

2003 11:18 AM Re:

No pillows! Brian,The divine paradox is that you are

Her. Ego's are the filter of how she comes out of us. There's no

way to change that, but we can purify the ego to align it with what

is Truth.If the disciple accepts they are not her, they will never

find the Truth because they will be so busy negating her presense

within and without of themselves and others, always making a

difference. There is no difference.Jai Ma!KellyBrian McKee

<brian (AT) soulspark (DOT) org> wrote:

And Swamiji said (paraphrase), "Be a low guru not a high guru, that

way you can only fall upward!"I think its important to be who we are,

not out egos, not our minds, but the force behind our eyes. The true

identity of she who is living through us. If our egos and our minds

accept that they are not her, then they can't get trapped in their

own dilusions.Jai Swamiji,BrianAt 11:48 PM 11/29/2003, you

wrote:>Tonight Swamiji and Shree talked about humility, remaining

humble, no>matter what your accomplishment, no matter your

enlightenment, remaining>humble and close to the ground.>(Maa said,

"no pillows!"--that is, no sitting high up on cushions, above

>others)>She said to remember to only look to yourself, don't pay

much attention to>other people and their problems, pay attention to

your own self; in other>words, similar to Sarada Devi when she said,

(transl),

"If you want peace of>mind, do not find fault with others, Rather see

your own faults.">Simple wisdom for a complicated world, and it

works!>Jai Maa>Jai Ramakrishna>Love,>Nitya>>>>>>>>To from

this group, send an email

to:>>>>>Your use of

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Attitude! Is the glass half full or have empty?Chris Kirner

<chriskirner1956 > wrote:

Kelly,Yes. The ego forgets that She is the epitome of humility and

loving service. It focuses on the greatness, on separation rather

than unity with others, even those caught-up in evil.Chris--- In

, Kelly Leeper <blissnout> wrote:>

Brian,> > The divine paradox is that you are Her. Ego's are the

filter of how she comes out of us. There's no way to change that,

but we can purify the ego to align it with what is Truth.> If the

disciple accepts they are not her, they will never find the Truth

because they will be so busy negating her presense within and without

of themselves and others, always making a difference. There is no

difference.> Jai Ma!> Kelly> > Brian McKee <brian@s...> wrote:> And

Swamiji said (paraphrase), "Be a low guru not a high guru, that way

you > can only fall upward!"> > I think its important to be who we

are, not out egos, not our minds, but > the force behind our eyes.

The true identity of she who is living through > us. If our egos and

our minds accept that they are not her, then they can't > get trapped

in their own dilusions.> > Jai Swamiji,> > Brian> > > At 11:48 PM

11/29/2003, you wrote:> > >Tonight Swamiji and Shree talked about

humility, remaining humble, no> >matter what your accomplishment, no

matter your enlightenment, remaining> >humble and close to the

ground.> >(Maa said, "no pillows!"--that is, no sitting high up on

cushions, above > >others)> >She said to remember to only look to

yourself, don't pay much attention to> >other people and

their problems, pay attention to your own self; in other> >words,

similar to Sarada Devi when she said, (transl), "If you want peace

of> >mind, do not find fault with others, Rather see your own

faults."> >Simple wisdom for a complicated world, and it works!> >Jai

Maa> >Jai Ramakrishna> >Love,> >Nitya> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >To

from this group, send an email to:>

>> >> >> >> >Your use of

is subject to > >> >>

>> >> >---> >Incoming mail is certified Virus Free.> >Checked by AVG

anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).> >Version: 6.0.545 /

Virus Database: 339 - Release 11/27/2003> >

Sponsor> > To from this group, send an email

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has gone into it. I love your honesty about your psychology with Swami:)

It's wonderful when we can see it, you must feel really safe with Swami

to let it show. I didn't want to argue. I sometimes scratch my head though

when I read what you write because I get lost.... sorry. Sorry you thought

I was arguing. Hugs! OOO :)Brian T McKee <brian (AT) soulspark (DOT) org> wrote:

Kelly,

I think you are assuming that I dislike my ego or fear it. I don't. I

used to. I spent a great deal of time in self deprecation fearing the

possibility of becoming an ego-maniac, but that's not where my post

came from. I actually think you and I believe along the same lines,

but our words are failing to communicate that similarity. We seem to

be arguing over the definition of words, not the intent behind them.

I don't see the energy as dual. That may just be a difference of

perspective. When I speak of energy I'm talking about the energy that

is sensed by my senses but is not composed of things that my senses

were designed to detect. The energy goes beyond feeling, it is LOVE

but not at all romantic in nature.

I see Maya as dual, but Maya herself is a creation of the energy, not

the energy itself and I think that's the root of its dualistic

nature. It is the fact that it is the energy manifested to be not the

energy that is its dual nature.The entire idea I was trying to bring

across in my post is that ego has to see itself for what it is and

then we, as the light behind the mask (as you describe it) can shift

our perspective and stop identifying with the mask.

My experience shows that most people identify with the aspects of the

mask that they feel safe with, usually the more positive aspects of

the mask. Oh its beautiful or its smart, they feel inside themselves.

But they have to ignore the negative aspects because they don't want

to see that the mask is flawed. It is denial of the full state of the

mask that drives people to continue to identify with things outside

even the mask.

Find a copy of "The Cave," by Plato, his analogy is perfect.

My first step in spiritual awakening was to recognize that I'm

imperfect and that who I am is not what I do in the world, what I

feel, what people think or feel about me, or how people treat me.

That brought me to the mask and after some effort to try and ignore

who it is, I finally accepted it for all its weaknesses. This lead me

to the question, "How did I (that is to say my mask) get to be so

messed up?"

Then began the peeling of the onion, the layers of the mask built by

fate, my surroundings, and my reactions to fate and my surroundings.

After a time, I found the light behind the mask because I had peeled

enough layers and grown sensative enough to the energy to begin to

see it and feel it. Now I acknowledge the light itself as part of me

and am working on identifying with it, instead of the mask. But the

mask itself is where my attention is right now. Its the level at

which I exist right now. I feel the energy, and I sense the

consciousness, but I don't yet identify with it.

This leads me back to what Bhuvananda said on Saturday. Aware

awareness. My awareness is focused on the mask and begining to sense

the energy and consciousness, but the question is: who is the

awareness itself? What is it that identifies with the mask? Is that

me? Or am I the energy or the consciousness I sense? I mentally know

that I'm not the mask, but I haven't yet experienced much beyond it,

I haven't yet identified with anything else.

I have only taken one small step. I stopped identifyiing myself with

objects in my life and with my body. But I still identify myself as

Brian the mind-ego thingy. Maa will continue to urge me toward my

final destination: that is union with awareness.

Swamiji often jokes about falling into too much and too little. I seem

to spend too much time bouncing between self-deprecation and self

aggrandizement. I keep them internal as much as is possible. The only

one I show them to is Swamiji and I don't understand why I do it.

Probably something to do with my search for a noble father figure.

But that's breaking into psychology and isn't really necessary.

OM AIM HRIM KLIM -- The first part of the Mantra to call the Energy Who Tears Apart Thought.

This is where I am on my journey, attempting to find balance of the

three gunas. Trying to make a way for Chandi to come in and do battle

on a balanced battle field. Unless I pave the way for her by

surrendering to her, she can't come in. It goes back to the promise

that Mother made when she created us, "I will not interfere in your

existance," she said, "your will is your own."

It is through the deliberate misunderstanding and deliberate

misleading of man that he fell during Kali-Yugh. It is on purpose and

part of the plan that we all forget who we are. It is through this

experience that we are given the opportunity to rediscover who we are

inviting Mother back into our lives. All pujas, all ceremonies, all

actions, all thoughts, all feelings, all Mantras, all words, all of

everything have that single purpose. Some things get us there faster

than others, but in the end it all comes down to the one: Maa.

I'm at the stage where I'm balancing my Rajas, Tamas, and Satva,

trying to prepare a way for mother to move in and show me who I am.

The point I was trying to make in my previous post is that it is only

through surrender to the now that I can continue on my journey. Only

through acceptance of my various aspects that I can continue to grow

toward balance. You can't balance that which you cannot see, so you

have to see it all, every positive and negative aspect of yourself.

I don't hate myself anymore. You don't have to worry about that. But you are right, I used to.

*hugs*

Thanks for caring,

Brian

Kelly Leeper Dec 1, 2003 6:09

PM Re: No

pillows!

Brian,

I can see what you are saying, but it was stated too mental to be of

practicle use for me, maybe not others, but for me. I think, and

from my experience, it's alot more simple. We give the ego too much

power in it's stronghold. I say this because in my experience, even

masters and the most enlightened people I have encountered have ego's

that are refined, not obliterated. Also, my neptune is in the first

house and neptune disolves the first house energies (ego) and so for

me, I see the ego as a very transparent entity. I don't see it as a

bad guy. If you make something bad,evil then you are at odds with it

and no unification will ever happen as long as there is duality. Once

the true nature of what the ego is is understood, there is not much of

a fight or opposing force. The aspirant no longer calls the ego the

bad guy or the undesireable because we understand what it really is.

The story of the Chandi is great for one who is

encountering their ego for the first time consciously when the ego

does have a stronghold and then even after realization (and advanced

sadhana) the disciple witnesses the ego as a mask. It's all in what

you identify with, are you the mask or the light coming thru the

mask? With sincereity we approach the path thru our ego. Thru

sadhana, we do our sadhana thru the ego and by the time kundalini

stikes, we have refined the ego to a state where the kundalini will

not shatter the person. If kundalini happens before the ego is

refined, the disciple shatters and they cannot operate at all

religiously or worldly. So, I see the ego not as the bad guy, but as

the mask we operate thru. When at a masquerade party, we see the

masks and not the person behind the mask. But when we wear the mask

we know we are not the mask but others don't know who we are because

they think WE are the mask and not the real mccoy. Ever notice how a

mask has

energy even if it's on the wall...kinda spooky like a clown face?

It's only a mask but still carries a drama. When we start sadhana

our mask might look like a beast or something otherworldly but as our

ego refines, the light shining thru the mask changes the mask. it's

still a mask, but it becomes more true to the energies the person

wearing the mask IS. The mask organic in that it changes, but the

light inside doesn't. Once we no longer want to play at the

masquerade ball, we leave this plane all together and drop the mask

and not until. When we realize we are not the mask but also realize

we have to wear it as a tool for the lila, then we understand the

Mask doesn't go away. It might get more transparent, thinner, but it

does not go away.

Energy is not non dual. It's both dual and non dual.

I've heard stories of peoples Guru's and what they say. The devotee

will always see the Guru as egoless, but if you take an obective

look, even Guru's in a physical body have their ego's even after

realization. To give the Mask or ego too much power is a mistake I

think.

So, when we affirm the Goddess in everyone, the light that shines thru

everyones mask, we affirm their enlightened potential to fruition.

Same for ourselves. This is why to concentrate on someone elses mask

is to avoid looking at our own and is a dead end. If you affirm you

are not the light of consciousness that comes thru the mask, then

what are you? If you affirm you are not Her for fear of self

agrandizement what are you focusing on? Brian, you are that and if

you fall into self agrandizement, you will get out of it. People

talk like the ego is the eternal damnation. It's a tool, that is

all. Take the charge off it and see it for what it is. Too much

emotional charge gives it way too much attention.

Jai Maa!

KellyBrian T McKee <brian (AT) soulspark (DOT) org> wrote:

Kelly,

In my opinion, the ego cannot recognize that it is goddess, because it

isn't. It really is just a side effect of consciousness meeting

reality. Its like what happens when a soap bubble (a sphere) meets a

glass plane, at the place where they touch, a circle is seen. Ego is

that circle, merely a projection of the sphere of consciousness. The

cirlce itself isn't really there, its just a perception from the

plane of the glass. Maya is the glass plane.

We are not our ego, nor our mind, nor our body or emotions. We are

much more than those things. We are the sphere.

When I contemplate the realization that I am god, I am changing my

perspective to match hers, I am not claiming that my ego or my mind

are god.

Its a subtle difference. But it keeps me from falling into self agrandizement.

In a very real sense, everything is mother, especially Maya herself,

but the maya is designed to be something representative of something

other than Mother goddess. And since mind, thoughts, emotions, and

ego are projections into the Maya, they are also designed to be

something they are not. Thus they are dualistic. They are circles of

the sphere.

So realizing that I am she who looks out through my eyes is a shift in

perspective, not an admition that the little me is "actually" the big

she. I am that (as Bhuvananda said Saturday to me) is "aware

awareness." It is identification with that which is not dualistic.

OM NAMASHIVAYA. OM HRIM SHRIM DUM DURGAYE NAMAHA.

Consciousness and energy are not dualistic and identification with

them is accurate. The ego, as such, cannot identify with anything but

dualism because it is limited to that of which it is made.

But our souls (as I like to call them) are not dualistic and shifting

our perspective to our soul and looking toward goddess removes us

from the dualistic nature of Maya.

Its not an ego process. Its not a mental process. Its not an emotional

process. Its a process of awareness. A process of surrender. The ego

is just an ego and accepts that. It is subserviant to the soul. The

circle's awareness accepts the presence of the greater sphere and

recognizes its own limitations. The sphere then realizes that it too

is just a part of a greater, multidimensional sphere that we call

goddess and it accepts itself at face value and surrenders to her.

Then in turn, she will do the same when she's done with this inner

growth of her own, when her universes have served her purpose.

The process involves Shiva and Shakti as the prototypes of

non-dualistic existance and the desire of the ego to become REALISTIC

with itself. Maybe thats why realization and realistic have the same

root word. Realization is simply everything realistically accepting

itself at face value and surrendering to its larger aspects.

I'm not sure I'm bringing across the point I'm trying to make, and to

be honest, as I haven't experienced non-duality (well I can't be sure

of that, some "odd" things have happened in my life). I'm not sure

this "mental" attempt to explain my "feelings" is going to produce

anything at all useful.

Did this make sense?

Brian

Kelly Leeper Dec 1, 2003 11:18

AM Re: No

pillows!

Brian,

The divine paradox is that you are Her. Ego's are the filter of how

she comes out of us. There's no way to change that, but we can

purify the ego to align it with what is Truth.

If the disciple accepts they are not her, they will never find the

Truth because they will be so busy negating her presense within and

without of themselves and others, always making a difference. There

is no difference.

Jai Ma!

KellyBrian McKee <brian (AT) soulspark (DOT) org> wrote:

And Swamiji said (paraphrase), "Be a low guru not a high guru, that

way you can only fall upward!"I think its important to be who we are,

not out egos, not our minds, but the force behind our eyes. The true

identity of she who is living through us. If our egos and our minds

accept that they are not her, then they can't get trapped in their

own dilusions.Jai Swamiji,BrianAt 11:48 PM 11/29/2003, you

wrote:>Tonight Swamiji and Shree talked about humility, remaining

humble, no>matter what your accomplishment, no matter your

enlightenment, remaining>humble and close to the ground.>(Maa said,

"no pillows!"--that is, no sitting high up on cushions, above

>others)>She said to remember to only look to yourself, don't pay

much attention to>other people and their problems, pay attention

to your own self; in other>words, similar to Sarada Devi when she

said, (transl), "If you want peace of>mind, do not find fault with

others, Rather see your own faults.">Simple wisdom for a complicated

world, and it works!>Jai Maa>Jai Ramakrishna>Love,>Nitya>>>>>>>>To

from this group, send an email

to:>>>>>Your use of

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