Guest guest Posted December 2, 2003 Report Share Posted December 2, 2003 Dear All, Short Story :- Juggling between 2 Chandis in one day, to no Chandis the next day. I am fighting my first demons "Too Much" and "Too Little". And the only blue lights I see are on top of cops' cars. Long Story :- My sob story.... settle yourselves down on a comfortable sofa with a cup of cocoa and I will begin. Nov 25th :- This is the morning that I completed my chanting (due last night) at 3.45 am. I have the day off today and I really goof off - slump on the sofa, eat out of bags, drink out of cans and merrily ignore my sankalpa. I musta broken all the rules and then some. I go back to the PC ,to check my email (sigh) and notice one of my Mandir buddies is online. I got threats from this person who shall remain unnamed that I needed to eat good food to please the Goddess inside me, else he would let Maa know. "Will the Goddess inside me be satisfied with Terra chips" I ask. "Not chips alone" sez he. So I get up and cook a meal and eat and now I am all drowsy . This is one sleepy Goddess... zzzz And that is how dear readers I didnt chant the Chandi in the evening... That is two Chandis that I need to make up for now ! Nov 26th :- It is the day before thanksgiving. A holiday mood. But I am at work until late this evening. Grrrrrrr... I come back home , not able to go to the Mandir now. It is too late. Traffic is a killer. God you are putting too much burden on my slim shoulders ... And that's why God, I dont feel like chanting the Chandi today for you ....besides its almost thanksgiving ... That's three Chandis that I need to make up for now ! Nov 27th :- I am at the Mandir. Yesssssssssss! Most of the family are grouping at the Evanses for the Thanksgiving dinner. Not me ! I sit like a good kid in front of my altar at 2 pm. I sing and chant and talk to her. I am so pepped up. I have done today's quota. I sit in front of her once again at 8 pm. Some people look at me in disbelief. Earlier in the day I had sprung an idea that we needed to have a Chandi Marathon. Sorta like, one person finishes and the next person begins and keep this going for a day. Figured we'd have about 8 Chandis done. People were enthusiastic but no banana. So I sat in front of her all by myself for another round, when the Kindest Moderator shows up. He gives me company - does his chanting in another part of the temple and I complete mine. So I have made up for one Chandi. Still have to make up for two. Nov 28th :- Get up real early . Do my Siva Puja and start my chandi. I leave a note by Maa's altar asking her if I could make breakfast for her as I have come "prepared". I start the Chandi and I know that it will be atleast 9 AM before I am done and Maa eats at 9.30. No way I am gonna finish cooking by then but I leave the note anyway. And God helps you when you sing for him/her. I chanted and finished at 9 AM. Maa had come in around 8 AM and she herself had started the Chandi which means she will not be done until 10.30. So I have a full hour and half to prepare the food. What made you do the Chandi today Maa? I would like to project that it was because you didnt want to disappoint me. Whatever be the reason , thank you. She asks me to do sambar for her (readers of my previous issue of the diary will remember that is was a disaster and I didna wanna talk about it) . Well, I am PROUD to say that this time around, the sambar was FANTASTIC. Maa told how much she liked it - she even called me a good cook. I felt so good that I felt ready to start my own TV cooking show, syndicate it, make millions and retire to Hawaii. In the evening we sit before Maa after Arati. She usually tests for recitation from memory on Fridays.Today the test is on Homa from the Hanuman Puja and Chandi Arati. Most people are prepared for the Arati. After Maa leaves, I start my second round of Chandi and sail through this. So I have to just make for ONE more Chandi and I have two more days to do this. Life looks good. Goddess looks kind. Earlier today, Maa was asking us about the time we did on Sadhana. I told her that it took 2.5 hrs to do the Chandi. Then She said " Two and a half hours out of 24 hours, to spend the time GIVING ENERGY TO THE UNIVERSE. It is the least that we can do". We have 24 hrs in a day .... how do we utilize this to the optimum ? Always a big challenge. And yes, the very least I can do is to Give Energy to the Universe for 3 hrs. I feel humbled. For me it is just a prayer , for Maa it is giving energy . Nov 29th :- I get up at 6 to the sound of Arati. One of the disciples is singing Chandi Arati from memory, confident after passing yesterday's test . Obviously didnt totally memorise because he jumped from the Chandi Arati to Siva Arati in a clean leap. Had to be reminded to jump back to the Chandi. In a state of tizzy I think, "If I go get a bath and start my siva puja, the earliest that I can start the Chandi is at 7 am. Which means again I am done with the Chandi only at 9.30-9.45. How do I feed Maa ?". All my belief that God will take care disappear.... I am undecided ..... I am always undecided ... I would like to think that I like to weigh my options... but the fact is I am undecided. A happy thought occurs to me ... why not compromise? I can always do the Chandi later. Why not chant another text say the Rudri? So I chant the Rudri and finish within 30 mins. This same Rudri was taking me over an hour before, and I was getting bogged down with 130 pages. Now after the 420 pages of Chandi, 130 pages is a piece of cake. When you aim for the stars you DO atleast hit the treetop. Maybe I should aim for 2 chandis and so I will do atleast one a day.... I dont wanta go there. Breakfast was terrible though. I chant the Chandi after the Ramakrishna class. Peace. Still have to make up for one Chandi. Nov 30th :- Again, get up at an awkward time. Too late to start the Chandi so do the Rudri instead. I cook for Maa (more sambar - figure if less is good , more is better) and she is happy. I notice that my cooking is better on alternate days. Maybe thats how I should do, skip a day between so that Maa ALWAYS gets to see my good side. I leave that afternoon to get back to my usual environs. I come home and that couch is so tempting and before I know it I am asleep . No Chandi today... Sigh, now I have two Chandis to make up. I am still in red. Interesting highlights :- 1) Prayer is giving energy to the Universe. The simplest and the most efficient way ANYONE can help. You dont have to give money, nothing. Just a piece of your time to God with as much sincerity as you can muster. 2) Budgeting my time. In an ideal world, 8 hrs of prayer, 8 hrs of work and 8 hrs of sleep. Is this even possible? 3) Swinging moods. When the inspiration is there the prayer comes, and when the real prayer is there, inspiration also comes. Satyam Satyam. No, no blue lights yet .... Open my heart Chandi Maa and make me devoted to you . All that I am capable of , all that I can do , all that I am , give me that Love to give it all for you. Love Latha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 2, 2003 Report Share Posted December 2, 2003 Latha, These are so much fun to read. Bless you and your journey. May you succeed and may Chandi Maa be victorious. Its fascinating how we make even the act of reading the Chandi into a Drama. Life is a Drama within a Drama within the Chandi. Or is it the Chandi within a Drama within a Drama? *grin* My suggestion (and its extremely humble as I have done nothing even close to what you are attempting) is to do the Chandi at the same time every day. Period. If that's in the morning before work, before traveling to the temple, then so be it. Or if its at high noon or six PM, then that's fine as well, but do it exactly the same time every day. Soon it will be a habit. Do you feel that doing the Chandi at the mandir is somehow better? Its not. Where you do it is unimportant. Just do it. And make yourself a rule: butt may not meet couch until the Chandi is done for today. (eyes may not meet TV, etc). *grin* Bless you over and over. Bless you a thousand and eight times. Bless you for a thousand and eight days. May you complete this sankalpa. May you perform this work. May the goddess win over your thoughts. And may everything that gets in your way be sliced by Chandi's sword and arrows. *hugs* Brian Latha Nanda <lathananda Dec 2, 2003 4:32 PM Diary of a Sankalpa :- Nov 25-30 Dear All, Short Story :- Juggling between 2 Chandis in one day, to no Chandis the next day. I am fighting my first demons "Too Much" and "Too Little". And the only blue lights I see are on top of cops' cars. Long Story :- My sob story.... settle yourselves down on a comfortable sofa with a cup of cocoa and I will begin. Nov 25th :- This is the morning that I completed my chanting (due last night) at 3.45 am. I have the day off today and I really goof off - slump on the sofa, eat out of bags, drink out of cans and merrily ignore my sankalpa. I musta broken all the rules and then some. I go back to the PC ,to check my email (sigh) and notice one of my Mandir buddies is online. I got threats from this person who shall remain unnamed that I needed to eat good food to please the Goddess inside me, else he would let Maa know. "Will the Goddess inside me be satisfied with Terra chips" I ask. "Not chips alone" sez he. So I get up and cook a meal and eat and now I am all drowsy . This is one sleepy Goddess... zzzz And that is how dear readers I didnt chant the Chandi in the evening... That is two Chandis that I need to make up for now ! Nov 26th :- It is the day before thanksgiving. A holiday mood. But I am at work until late this evening. Grrrrrrr... I come back home , not able to go to the Mandir now. It is too late. Traffic is a killer. God you are putting too much burden on my slim shoulders ... And that's why God, I dont feel like chanting the Chandi today for you ....besides its almost thanksgiving ... That's three Chandis that I need to make up for now ! Nov 27th :- I am at the Mandir. Yesssssssssss! Most of the family are grouping at the Evanses for the Thanksgiving dinner. Not me ! I sit like a good kid in front of my altar at 2 pm. I sing and chant and talk to her. I am so pepped up. I have done today's quota. I sit in front of her once again at 8 pm. Some people look at me in disbelief. Earlier in the day I had sprung an idea that we needed to have a Chandi Marathon. Sorta like, one person finishes and the next person begins and keep this going for a day. Figured we'd have about 8 Chandis done. People were enthusiastic but no banana. So I sat in front of her all by myself for another round, when the Kindest Moderator shows up. He gives me company - does his chanting in another part of the temple and I complete mine. So I have made up for one Chandi. Still have to make up for two. Nov 28th :- Get up real early . Do my Siva Puja and start my chandi. I leave a note by Maa's altar asking her if I could make breakfast for her as I have come "prepared". I start the Chandi and I know that it will be atleast 9 AM before I am done and Maa eats at 9.30. No way I am gonna finish cooking by then but I leave the note anyway. And God helps you when you sing for him/her. I chanted and finished at 9 AM. Maa had come in around 8 AM and she herself had started the Chandi which means she will not be done until 10.30. So I have a full hour and half to prepare the food. What made you do the Chandi today Maa? I would like to project that it was because you didnt want to disappoint me. Whatever be the reason , thank you. She asks me to do sambar for her (readers of my previous issue of the diary will remember that is was a disaster and I didna wanna talk about it) . Well, I am PROUD to say that this time around, the sambar was FANTASTIC. Maa told how much she liked it - she even called me a good cook. I felt so good that I felt ready to start my own TV cooking show, syndicate it, make millions and retire to Hawaii. In the evening we sit before Maa after Arati. She usually tests for recitation from memory on Fridays.Today the test is on Homa from the Hanuman Puja and Chandi Arati. Most people are prepared for the Arati. After Maa leaves, I start my second round of Chandi and sail through this. So I have to just make for ONE more Chandi and I have two more days to do this. Life looks good. Goddess looks kind. Earlier today, Maa was asking us about the time we did on Sadhana. I told her that it took 2.5 hrs to do the Chandi. Then She said " Two and a half hours out of 24 hours, to spend the time GIVING ENERGY TO THE UNIVERSE. It is the least that we can do". We have 24 hrs in a day .... how do we utilize this to the optimum ? Always a big challenge. And yes, the very least I can do is to Give Energy to the Universe for 3 hrs. I feel humbled. For me it is just a prayer , for Maa it is giving energy . Nov 29th :- I get up at 6 to the sound of Arati. One of the disciples is singing Chandi Arati from memory, confident after passing yesterday's test . Obviously didnt totally memorise because he jumped from the Chandi Arati to Siva Arati in a clean leap. Had to be reminded to jump back to the Chandi. In a state of tizzy I think, "If I go get a bath and start my siva puja, the earliest that I can start the Chandi is at 7 am. Which means again I am done with the Chandi only at 9.30-9.45. How do I feed Maa ?". All my belief that God will take care disappear.... I am undecided ..... I am always undecided ... I would like to think that I like to weigh my options... but the fact is I am undecided. A happy thought occurs to me ... why not compromise? I can always do the Chandi later. Why not chant another text say the Rudri? So I chant the Rudri and finish within 30 mins. This same Rudri was taking me over an hour before, and I was getting bogged down with 130 pages. Now after the 420 pages of Chandi, 130 pages is a piece of cake. When you aim for the stars you DO atleast hit the treetop. Maybe I should aim for 2 chandis and so I will do atleast one a day.... I dont wanta go there. Breakfast was terrible though. I chant the Chandi after the Ramakrishna class. Peace. Still have to make up for one Chandi. Nov 30th :- Again, get up at an awkward time. Too late to start the Chandi so do the Rudri instead. I cook for Maa (more sambar - figure if less is good , more is better) and she is happy. I notice that my cooking is better on alternate days. Maybe thats how I should do, skip a day between so that Maa ALWAYS gets to see my good side. I leave that afternoon to get back to my usual environs. I come home and that couch is so tempting and before I know it I am asleep . No Chandi today... Sigh, now I have two Chandis to make up. I am still in red. Interesting highlights :- 1) Prayer is giving energy to the Universe. The simplest and the most efficient way ANYONE can help. You dont have to give money, nothing. Just a piece of your time to God with as much sincerity as you can muster. 2) Budgeting my time. In an ideal world, 8 hrs of prayer, 8 hrs of work and 8 hrs of sleep. Is this even possible? 3) Swinging moods. When the inspiration is there the prayer comes, and when the real prayer is there, inspiration also comes. Satyam Satyam. No, no blue lights yet .... Open my heart Chandi Maa and make me devoted to you . All that I am capable of , all that I can do , all that I am , give me that Love to give it all for you. Love Latha Your use of is subject to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 3, 2003 Report Share Posted December 3, 2003 Latha, Your beautiful efforts give me great pleasure. Thank you. Chris , "Latha Nanda" <lathananda> wrote: > Dear All, > > Short Story :- Juggling between 2 Chandis in one day, to no Chandis > the next day. I am fighting my first demons "Too Much" and "Too > Little". And the only blue lights I see are on top of cops' cars. > > Long Story :- My sob story.... settle yourselves down on a > comfortable sofa with a cup of cocoa and I will begin. > > Nov 25th :- > > This is the morning that I completed my chanting (due last night) at > 3.45 am. I have the day off today and I really goof off - slump on > the sofa, eat out of bags, drink out of cans and merrily ignore my > sankalpa. I musta broken all the rules and then some. I go back to > the PC ,to check my email (sigh) and notice one of my Mandir buddies > is online. I got threats from this person who shall remain unnamed > that I needed to eat good food to please the Goddess inside me, else > he would let Maa know. "Will the Goddess inside me be satisfied with > Terra chips" I ask. "Not chips alone" sez he. So I get up and cook a > meal and eat and now I am all drowsy . This is one sleepy Goddess... > zzzz > > And that is how dear readers I didnt chant the Chandi in the > evening... > > That is two Chandis that I need to make up for now ! > > Nov 26th :- > > It is the day before thanksgiving. A holiday mood. But I am at work > until late this evening. Grrrrrrr... > > I come back home , not able to go to the Mandir now. It is too late. > Traffic is a killer. > > God you are putting too much burden on my slim shoulders ... > > And that's why God, I dont feel like chanting the Chandi today for > you ....besides its almost thanksgiving ... > > > That's three Chandis that I need to make up for now ! > > Nov 27th :- > > I am at the Mandir. Yesssssssssss! Most of the family are grouping at > the Evanses for the Thanksgiving dinner. Not me ! I sit like a good > kid in front of my altar at 2 pm. I sing and chant and talk to her. I > am so pepped up. I have done today's quota. > > I sit in front of her once again at 8 pm. Some people look at me in > disbelief. Earlier in the day I had sprung an idea that we needed to > have a Chandi Marathon. Sorta like, one person finishes and the next > person begins and keep this going for a day. Figured we'd have about > > 8 Chandis done. People were enthusiastic but no banana. So I sat in > front of her all by myself for another round, when the Kindest > Moderator shows up. He gives me company - does his chanting in > another part of the temple and I complete mine. > > So I have made up for one Chandi. Still have to make up for two. > > Nov 28th :- > > Get up real early . Do my Siva Puja and start my chandi. I leave a > note by Maa's altar asking her if I could make breakfast for her as I > have come "prepared". I start the Chandi and I know that it will be > atleast 9 AM before I am done and Maa eats at 9.30. No way I am gonna > finish cooking by then but I leave the note anyway. > > And God helps you when you sing for him/her. > > I chanted and finished at 9 AM. Maa had come in around 8 AM and she > herself had started the Chandi which means she will not be done until > 10.30. > > So I have a full hour and half to prepare the food. What made you do > the Chandi today Maa? I would like to project that it was because > you didnt want to disappoint me. Whatever be the reason , thank you. > > She asks me to do sambar for her (readers of my previous issue of the > diary will remember that is was a disaster and I didna wanna talk > about it) . Well, I am PROUD to say that this time around, the sambar > was FANTASTIC. Maa told how much she liked it - she even called me > a good cook. I felt so good that I felt ready to start my own TV > cooking show, syndicate it, make millions and retire to Hawaii. > > In the evening we sit before Maa after Arati. She usually tests for > recitation from memory on Fridays.Today the test is on Homa from the > Hanuman Puja and Chandi Arati. Most people are prepared for the > Arati. > > After Maa leaves, I start my second round of Chandi and sail through > this. > > So I have to just make for ONE more Chandi and I have two more days > to do this. Life looks good. Goddess looks kind. > > Earlier today, Maa was asking us about the time we did on Sadhana. I > told her that it took 2.5 hrs to do the Chandi. Then She said " Two > and a half hours out of 24 hours, to spend the time GIVING ENERGY TO > THE UNIVERSE. It is the least that we can do". > > We have 24 hrs in a day .... how do we utilize this to the optimum ? > Always a big challenge. And yes, the very least I can do is to Give > Energy to the Universe for 3 hrs. I feel humbled. > > For me it is just a prayer , for Maa it is giving energy . > > Nov 29th :- > > I get up at 6 to the sound of Arati. One of the disciples is singing > Chandi Arati from memory, confident after passing yesterday's test . > Obviously didnt totally memorise because he jumped from the Chandi > Arati to Siva Arati in a clean leap. Had to be reminded to jump back > to the Chandi. > > In a state of tizzy I think, "If I go get a bath and start my siva > puja, the earliest that I can start the Chandi is at 7 am. Which > means again I am done with the Chandi only at 9.30-9.45. How do I > feed Maa ?". > > All my belief that God will take care disappear.... > > I am undecided ..... I am always undecided ... I would like to think > that I like to weigh my options... but the fact is I am undecided. > > A happy thought occurs to me ... why not compromise? I can always do > the Chandi later. Why not chant another text say the Rudri? > > So I chant the Rudri and finish within 30 mins. > > This same Rudri was taking me over an hour before, and I was getting > bogged down with 130 pages. Now after the 420 pages of Chandi, 130 > pages is a piece of cake. > > When you aim for the stars you DO atleast hit the treetop. Maybe I > should aim for 2 chandis and so I will do atleast one a day.... I > dont wanta go there. > > Breakfast was terrible though. > > I chant the Chandi after the Ramakrishna class. Peace. Still have to > make up for one Chandi. > > Nov 30th :- > > Again, get up at an awkward time. Too late to start the Chandi so do > the Rudri instead. I cook for Maa (more sambar - figure if less is > good , more is better) and she is happy. > > > I notice that my cooking is better on alternate days. Maybe thats how > I should do, skip a day between so that Maa ALWAYS gets to see my > good side. > > I leave that afternoon to get back to my usual environs. > > I come home and that couch is so tempting and before I know it I am > asleep . No Chandi today... > > Sigh, now I have two Chandis to make up. I am still in red. > > Interesting highlights :- > 1) Prayer is giving energy to the Universe. The simplest and the most > efficient way ANYONE can help. You dont have to give money, nothing. > Just a piece of your time to God with as much sincerity as you can > muster. > 2) Budgeting my time. In an ideal world, 8 hrs of prayer, 8 hrs of > work and 8 hrs of sleep. Is this even possible? > 3) Swinging moods. When the inspiration is there the prayer comes, > and when the real prayer is there, inspiration also comes. Satyam > Satyam. > > > No, no blue lights yet .... > > Open my heart Chandi Maa and make me devoted to you . All that I am > capable of , all that I can do , all that I am , give me that Love to > give it all for you. > > Love > Latha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 3, 2003 Report Share Posted December 3, 2003 Brian, Thank you for your blessings and for your suggestions. Yes, the suggestions are very simple - set a regular time, and no treats before I complete. How much simpler could they get? That is the battle that I am really fighting - lack of discipline. Wanting to do what I feel like instead of doing what is necessary. That is my real demon. If you might recall from one of my earlier issues of the Diary, I mentioned my penchant to get up in the middle of chanting to check my email. I Know that I dont want to, but compulsively land up doing so anyway. It is like the poem that you posted a couple of days ago - I go down the same path and keep falling down the same ditch anyway. Its time for me to start the next chapter - atleast avoid the pothole. Thank you for your encouragement. I have come this far (20 days) only with the blessings and cheers of all my brothers and sisters. Now I hope to kill the Demon of Indiscipline with everyone's continued support. Love Latha , Brian T McKee <brian@s...> wrote: > Latha, > > These are so much fun to read. Bless you and your journey. May you succeed and may Chandi Maa be victorious. > > Its fascinating how we make even the act of reading the Chandi into a Drama. > > Life is a Drama within a Drama within the Chandi. Or is it the Chandi within a Drama within a Drama? > > *grin* > > My suggestion (and its extremely humble as I have done nothing even close to what you are attempting) is to do the Chandi at the same time every day. Period. If that's in the morning before work, before traveling to the temple, then so be it. Or if its at high noon or six PM, then that's fine as well, but do it exactly the same time every day. Soon it will be a habit. Do you feel that doing the Chandi at the mandir is somehow better? Its not. Where you do it is unimportant. Just do it. > > And make yourself a rule: butt may not meet couch until the Chandi is done for today. (eyes may not meet TV, etc). > > *grin* > > Bless you over and over. Bless you a thousand and eight times. Bless you for a thousand and eight days. > > May you complete this sankalpa. > > May you perform this work. > > May the goddess win over your thoughts. > > And may everything that gets in your way be sliced by Chandi's sword and arrows. > > *hugs* > > Brian > > > Latha Nanda <lathananda> > Dec 2, 2003 4:32 PM > > Diary of a Sankalpa :- Nov 25-30 > > Dear All, > > Short Story :- Juggling between 2 Chandis in one day, to no Chandis > the next day. I am fighting my first demons "Too Much" and "Too > Little". And the only blue lights I see are on top of cops' cars. > > Long Story :- My sob story.... settle yourselves down on a > comfortable sofa with a cup of cocoa and I will begin. > > Nov 25th :- > > This is the morning that I completed my chanting (due last night) at > 3.45 am. I have the day off today and I really goof off - slump on > the sofa, eat out of bags, drink out of cans and merrily ignore my > sankalpa. I musta broken all the rules and then some. I go back to > the PC ,to check my email (sigh) and notice one of my Mandir buddies > is online. I got threats from this person who shall remain unnamed > that I needed to eat good food to please the Goddess inside me, else > he would let Maa know. "Will the Goddess inside me be satisfied with > Terra chips" I ask. "Not chips alone" sez he. So I get up and cook a > meal and eat and now I am all drowsy . This is one sleepy Goddess... > zzzz > > And that is how dear readers I didnt chant the Chandi in the > evening... > > That is two Chandis that I need to make up for now ! > > Nov 26th :- > > It is the day before thanksgiving. A holiday mood. But I am at work > until late this evening. Grrrrrrr... > > I come back home , not able to go to the Mandir now. It is too late. > Traffic is a killer. > > God you are putting too much burden on my slim shoulders ... > > And that's why God, I dont feel like chanting the Chandi today for > you ....besides its almost thanksgiving ... > > > That's three Chandis that I need to make up for now ! > > Nov 27th :- > > I am at the Mandir. Yesssssssssss! Most of the family are grouping at > the Evanses for the Thanksgiving dinner. Not me ! I sit like a good > kid in front of my altar at 2 pm. I sing and chant and talk to her. I > am so pepped up. I have done today's quota. > > I sit in front of her once again at 8 pm. Some people look at me in > disbelief. Earlier in the day I had sprung an idea that we needed to > have a Chandi Marathon. Sorta like, one person finishes and the next > person begins and keep this going for a day. Figured we'd have about > > 8 Chandis done. People were enthusiastic but no banana. So I sat in > front of her all by myself for another round, when the Kindest > Moderator shows up. He gives me company - does his chanting in > another part of the temple and I complete mine. > > So I have made up for one Chandi. Still have to make up for two. > > Nov 28th :- > > Get up real early . Do my Siva Puja and start my chandi. I leave a > note by Maa's altar asking her if I could make breakfast for her as I > have come "prepared". I start the Chandi and I know that it will be > atleast 9 AM before I am done and Maa eats at 9.30. No way I am gonna > finish cooking by then but I leave the note anyway. > > And God helps you when you sing for him/her. > > I chanted and finished at 9 AM. Maa had come in around 8 AM and she > herself had started the Chandi which means she will not be done until > 10.30. > > So I have a full hour and half to prepare the food. What made you do > the Chandi today Maa? I would like to project that it was because > you didnt want to disappoint me. Whatever be the reason , thank you. > > She asks me to do sambar for her (readers of my previous issue of the > diary will remember that is was a disaster and I didna wanna talk > about it) . Well, I am PROUD to say that this time around, the sambar > was FANTASTIC. Maa told how much she liked it - she even called me > a good cook. I felt so good that I felt ready to start my own TV > cooking show, syndicate it, make millions and retire to Hawaii. > > In the evening we sit before Maa after Arati. She usually tests for > recitation from memory on Fridays.Today the test is on Homa from the > Hanuman Puja and Chandi Arati. Most people are prepared for the > Arati. > > After Maa leaves, I start my second round of Chandi and sail through > this. > > So I have to just make for ONE more Chandi and I have two more days > to do this. Life looks good. Goddess looks kind. > > Earlier today, Maa was asking us about the time we did on Sadhana. I > told her that it took 2.5 hrs to do the Chandi. Then She said " Two > and a half hours out of 24 hours, to spend the time GIVING ENERGY TO > THE UNIVERSE. It is the least that we can do". > > We have 24 hrs in a day .... how do we utilize this to the optimum ? > Always a big challenge. And yes, the very least I can do is to Give > Energy to the Universe for 3 hrs. I feel humbled. > > For me it is just a prayer , for Maa it is giving energy . > > Nov 29th :- > > I get up at 6 to the sound of Arati. One of the disciples is singing > Chandi Arati from memory, confident after passing yesterday's test . > Obviously didnt totally memorise because he jumped from the Chandi > Arati to Siva Arati in a clean leap. Had to be reminded to jump back > to the Chandi. > > In a state of tizzy I think, "If I go get a bath and start my siva > puja, the earliest that I can start the Chandi is at 7 am. Which > means again I am done with the Chandi only at 9.30-9.45. How do I > feed Maa ?". > > All my belief that God will take care disappear.... > > I am undecided ..... I am always undecided ... I would like to think > that I like to weigh my options... but the fact is I am undecided. > > A happy thought occurs to me ... why not compromise? I can always do > the Chandi later. Why not chant another text say the Rudri? > > So I chant the Rudri and finish within 30 mins. > > This same Rudri was taking me over an hour before, and I was getting > bogged down with 130 pages. Now after the 420 pages of Chandi, 130 > pages is a piece of cake. > > When you aim for the stars you DO atleast hit the treetop. Maybe I > should aim for 2 chandis and so I will do atleast one a day.... I > dont wanta go there. > > Breakfast was terrible though. > > I chant the Chandi after the Ramakrishna class. Peace. Still have to > make up for one Chandi. > > Nov 30th :- > > Again, get up at an awkward time. Too late to start the Chandi so do > the Rudri instead. I cook for Maa (more sambar - figure if less is > good , more is better) and she is happy. > > > I notice that my cooking is better on alternate days. Maybe thats how > I should do, skip a day between so that Maa ALWAYS gets to see my > good side. > > I leave that afternoon to get back to my usual environs. > > I come home and that couch is so tempting and before I know it I am > asleep . No Chandi today... > > Sigh, now I have two Chandis to make up. I am still in red. > > Interesting highlights :- > 1) Prayer is giving energy to the Universe. The simplest and the most > efficient way ANYONE can help. You dont have to give money, nothing. > Just a piece of your time to God with as much sincerity as you can > muster. > 2) Budgeting my time. In an ideal world, 8 hrs of prayer, 8 hrs of > work and 8 hrs of sleep. Is this even possible? > 3) Swinging moods. When the inspiration is there the prayer comes, > and when the real prayer is there, inspiration also comes. Satyam > Satyam. > > > No, no blue lights yet .... > > Open my heart Chandi Maa and make me devoted to you . All that I am > capable of , all that I can do , all that I am , give me that Love to > give it all for you. > > Love > Latha > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Your use of is subject to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.