Guest guest Posted December 9, 2003 Report Share Posted December 9, 2003 It all started with a question :- Why is this happening to me ? I look at the people who look serene . How do you do it ? They said :- Keep doing this sadhana constantly ... you too will come to love God as much as we do. That will give you the peace that you seek. I start and keep doing ... after a while I can fake it no longer. I cannot visualize a loving mother or all-knowing father taking care of me. So I ask , you are feeling the love. Why cant I ? My question is now : - Why is this not happening to me ? They said :- Keep at the Sadhana ... I promise :- I WILL keep at it, and polish it and refine it and ....KEEP AT IT. A calm came over me with the resolution to keep at the sadhana. Love will come .... when it has to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 9, 2003 Report Share Posted December 9, 2003 JAI MA!!!!!, this is the best thing i have read yet. repeat the name of GOD till your tired..... then do it some more. WORSHIP-MEDITATE-WORSHIP-MEDITATE-WORSHIP-MEDITATE-WORSHIP-MEDITATE- WORSHIP-MEDIATE-WORSHIP-MEDITATE-WORSHIP-MEDITATE-WORSHIP-MEDITATE. i don't know what comes next i am just on worshipping and meditating. , "Latha Nanda" <lathananda> wrote: > It all started with a question :- Why is this happening to me ? > > I look at the people who look serene . How do you do it ? > > They said :- Keep doing this sadhana constantly ... you too will come > to love God as much as we do. That will give you the peace that you > seek. > > I start and keep doing ... after a while I can fake it no longer. I > cannot visualize a loving mother or all-knowing father taking care > of me. > > So I ask , you are feeling the love. Why cant I ? > > My question is now : - Why is this not happening to me ? > > They said :- Keep at the Sadhana ... > > I promise :- I WILL keep at it, and polish it and refine it and ....KEEP AT IT. > > A calm came over me with the resolution to keep at the sadhana. > > Love will come .... when it has to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 9, 2003 Report Share Posted December 9, 2003 The corridor is always open to the pujari. It is the pujari's task to traverse throught it, not unlike going through the eye of a needle. A camel can cross the desert of samsara with a few little stop overs at the owasis. At each sitting to a puja, the traveler gets refreshed, then moves on and on. , "Latha Nanda" <lathananda> wrote: > It all started with a question :- Why is this happening to me ? > > I look at the people who look serene . How do you do it ? > > They said :- Keep doing this sadhana constantly ... you too will come > to love God as much as we do. That will give you the peace that you > seek. > > I start and keep doing ... after a while I can fake it no longer. I > cannot visualize a loving mother or all-knowing father taking care > of me. > > So I ask , you are feeling the love. Why cant I ? > > My question is now : - Why is this not happening to me ? > > They said :- Keep at the Sadhana ... > > I promise :- I WILL keep at it, and polish it and refine it and ....KEEP AT IT. > > A calm came over me with the resolution to keep at the sadhana. > > Love will come .... when it has to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 10, 2003 Report Share Posted December 10, 2003 Dear Latha, Well, I know perseverence pays off, and patience. But we can dry up and out so easily when we try so hard, when our nose gets skinned from being too close to that grindstone, when our sincerity and integrity pushes us into the realm of Too Much and we lose heart. Even though wandering in the desert is usually a part of our spiritual quest, and that we may need to wander there quite a long time. Here is a story I heard a long time ago, and I just thought of: It's called The Three Golden Hairs There once was an old, old, old man. He was so very old that most of his teeth were missing, and his skin hung in many folds from his skeletal body. Only a few hairs remained on his head, and his eyes were dimmed and milky. His body was weak, and trembled. He walked unsteadily in the darkest of nights--that kind of moonless dark where you can barely see in front of your face. The old man carried a lantern, with a light inside. As he stumbled along on the rocky, uneven ground, his light sputtered and grew lower, and he grew weaker, but still he kept on; as he moved along the ground, he became so weak, that he stumbled, and fell, but still holding on to his tiny light, he continued on his way, now crawling on the ground, feeling the way with his one hand, and on his knees. On and on he went like this, slowly, and painfully, and the light got dimmer and dimmer and dimmer, and the night was very cold as well as very dark, but still he kept on, and on and on, moving along on the ground, slowly, slowly. And the light got so dim, it was barely there, just a tiny, tiny blue flame. The old man was gasping and wheezing, nearly in despair, but he did not stop and he did not put down the lantern. After a very, very long time, endless time, in the distance the old man saw another light, far away, and he continued to crawl slowly and painfully toward that light, closer and closer. As he approached, the light gave shape to the surroundings, and one could barely discern it was light coming from a window. After a long while, the old man came to the doorstep, and collapsed, onto the step, still holding the tiny light, barely breathing. Suddenly the door flew open and incredible, warm light burst out of the house, and on the step stood an old woman. She bent down to the old man, and carefully gathered him into her arms and slowly, gently brought his frail body into the house, closed the door, and still holding him, sat down in her rocking chair by the blazing fireplace. She could easily carry him because he was just barely there, just a bag of bones. She held him in her arms, and slowly she began to rock. She rocked, and rocked, and rocked---a long time she rocked, holding him, humming softly to herself, rocking in her chair. Another endless time passing, as the old woman held the old man and rocked him; as she did so, something strange and wonderful started to happen. The old man started to look different as the old woman rocked; slowly his hair became more abundant, and his skin less loose; and still she rocked. The grayness of his skin began to disappear, and color started to appear, and on she rocked; his body became more and more finely muscled,and his hair started to turn golden, and as she rocked on, he became younger and younger, soon he was a young man in her arms, and she continued to rock him; after a time, the old woman paused, and suddenly, reaching to the young man's head, she quickly pulled out one golden hair and threw it onto the stone floor, where it landed, with a ringing sound of "ping...!" She continued to rock the young man, and he became younger and younger until his was a little boy with a rosy face and golden curls and again she stopped, and again she reached and pulled out one single golden hair and threw it to the ground where it landed with a "ping...!" She never stopped holding him and rocking him, until one last time she pulled out a third golden hair and it too landed on the stone floor with the sound of "ping..!" Then, suddenly, the beautiful golden baby boy jumped up out of her lap with a joyful laugh, and running to the door, threw it open, and ran out into the open sky...... That's the story as I remember it. I can't say exactly why I was reminded of it, or if it's a story for you, but there it is. with love to you Nitya , "Latha Nanda" <lathananda> wrote: > It all started with a question :- Why is this happening to me ? > > I look at the people who look serene . How do you do it ? > > They said :- Keep doing this sadhana constantly ... you too will come > to love God as much as we do. That will give you the peace that you > seek. > > I start and keep doing ... after a while I can fake it no longer. I > cannot visualize a loving mother or all-knowing father taking care > of me. > > So I ask , you are feeling the love. Why cant I ? > > My question is now : - Why is this not happening to me ? > > They said :- Keep at the Sadhana ... > > I promise :- I WILL keep at it, and polish it and refine it and ....KEEP AT IT. > > A calm came over me with the resolution to keep at the sadhana. > > Love will come .... when it has to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 10, 2003 Report Share Posted December 10, 2003 Dear Nitya, Yes, I agree with you . When we are pushed to a point when we are dry and have no inspiration - we come to a crossroad. To continue or not? Conventional wisdom doesnt help here and the mind is too drained. At this point, just need to snuggle into our mom's lap and say "i surrender" and let go. And .... suddenly we are filled with a renewed burst of energy. I am interpreting the story as - the old man represents the tired sadhak and the old lady as God/Guru. When he surrenders to her, she gathers him and rocks him and removes three hairs (blocks to his growth) and turns him into a young child (renewed burst of energy to restart sadhana). Is that how you are looking at it too or am I way outta line here? Or was that story meant to be a koan of sorts ? Love Latha , "nitya_ma" <nitya_ma> wrote: > Dear Latha, > Well, I know perseverence pays off, and patience. > But we can dry up and out so easily when we try so hard, when > our nose gets skinned from being too close to that grindstone, > when our sincerity and integrity pushes us into the realm of Too Much > and we lose heart. Even though wandering in the desert is usually > a part of our spiritual quest, and that we may need to wander there quite a > long time. > Here is a story I heard a long time ago, and I just thought of: > > It's called The Three Golden Hairs > > There once was an old, old, old man. He was so very old that most of his > teeth were missing, and his skin hung in many folds from his skeletal body. > Only a few hairs remained on his head, and his eyes were dimmed and milky. > His body was weak, and trembled. He walked unsteadily in the darkest of > nights--that kind of moonless dark where you can barely see in front of your > face. > The old man carried a lantern, with a light inside. As he stumbled along on > the rocky, uneven ground, his light sputtered and grew lower, and he grew > weaker, but still he kept on; as he moved along the ground, he became so > weak, that he stumbled, and fell, but still holding on to his tiny light, he > continued on his way, now crawling on the ground, feeling the way with his > one hand, and on his knees. > On and on he went like this, slowly, and painfully, and the light got dimmer > and dimmer and dimmer, and the night was very cold as well as very dark, but > still he kept on, and on and on, moving along on the ground, slowly, slowly. > And the light got so dim, it was barely there, just a tiny, tiny blue flame. > The old man was gasping and wheezing, nearly in despair, but he did not > stop and he did not put down the lantern. > After a very, very long time, endless time, in the distance the old man saw > another light, far away, and he continued to crawl slowly and painfully toward > that light, closer and closer. As he approached, the light gave shape > to the surroundings, and one could barely discern it was light coming from a > window. After a long while, the old man came to the doorstep, and collapsed, > onto the step, still holding the tiny light, barely breathing. > Suddenly the door flew open and incredible, warm light burst out of the > house, and on the step stood an old woman. She bent down to the old man, > and carefully gathered him into her arms and slowly, gently brought his frail > body into the house, closed the door, and still holding him, sat down in her > rocking chair by the blazing fireplace. > She could easily carry him because he was just barely there, just a bag of > bones. She held him in her arms, and slowly she began to rock. > She rocked, and rocked, and rocked---a long time she rocked, holding him, > humming softly to herself, rocking in her chair. > Another endless time passing, as the old woman held the old man and > rocked him; as she did so, something strange and wonderful started to > happen. The old man started to look different as the old woman rocked; > slowly his hair became more abundant, and his skin less loose; and still she > rocked. The grayness of his skin began to disappear, and color started to > appear, and on she rocked; his body became more and more finely > muscled,and his hair started to turn golden, and as she rocked on, he became > younger and younger, soon he was a young man in her arms, and she > continued to rock him; after a time, the old woman paused, and suddenly, > reaching to the young man's head, she quickly pulled out one golden hair and > threw it onto the stone floor, where it landed, with a ringing sound of "ping...!" > She continued to rock the young man, and he became younger and younger > until his was a little boy with a rosy face and golden curls and again she > stopped, and again she reached and pulled out one single golden hair and > threw it to the ground where it landed with a "ping...!" > She never stopped holding him and rocking him, until one last time she > pulled out a third golden hair and it too landed on the stone floor with the > sound of "ping..!" > Then, suddenly, the beautiful golden baby boy jumped up out of her lap > with a joyful laugh, and running to the door, threw it open, and ran out into > the open sky...... > > That's the story as I remember it. I can't say exactly why I was reminded of it, > or if it's a story for you, but there it is. > > with love to you > Nitya , "Latha Nanda" <lathananda> > wrote: > > It all started with a question :- Why is this happening to me ? > > > > I look at the people who look serene . How do you do it ? > > > > They said :- Keep doing this sadhana constantly ... you too will come > > to love God as much as we do. That will give you the peace that you > > seek. > > > > I start and keep doing ... after a while I can fake it no longer. I > > cannot visualize a loving mother or all-knowing father taking care > > of me. > > > > So I ask , you are feeling the love. Why cant I ? > > > > My question is now : - Why is this not happening to me ? > > > > They said :- Keep at the Sadhana ... > > > > I promise :- I WILL keep at it, and polish it and refine it and ....KEEP AT IT. > > > > A calm came over me with the resolution to keep at the sadhana. > > > > Love will come .... when it has to. 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Guest guest Posted December 11, 2003 Report Share Posted December 11, 2003 Latha: This is just where we are all at, and we are all trying to learn to love God in that passionate bhakti way, but obviously this cannot be forced. Japa and Meditation are great, but the long dark night of the soul, the period when you put in the work and do not see the results as you wish to, is a challenge and can last many years. In my work with Neem Karoli Baba I learned about Hanuman, and how seva, selfless service is a strong component of God Love. I am humbly offering the suggestion that going to an old age home every sunday and singing to the folks who live there can be as heart opening as any activity. Or going to a soup kitchen regularly to cook for the homeless. Or collecting blankets to hand out to people sleeping in the streets. Check out "How can I help" by Ram Dass. Karunamayi taught me the power of inner work, meditation, and it is hard to sit for me, but I try, and I keep at it, and until I can sit for 4-8 hours like SSS, I chant japa. And of course, among the other teachings, Shree Maa opened the practice of Kirtan for me, which is one of the very great heart opening practices known on the earth. After 3 hours of heartfelt singing of Gods names, you are very very deep...well, you'll see...please remember you go as far as your teacher has gone, so you need to sing with a leader who can strongly lead you to the deeper states, I know around the Devi Mandir there's lots of singers like that. Another way I know to open God Love in the heart is the association of Holy People, your soul has a Sadguru out there (Swamiji says there is only one Sadguru, Shiva, but then, is Shree Maa not Shiva?), and when you make eye contact with your Sadguru, the love is instantly awakened. You love this guru and you discover that this Guru is Shiva, therefore you have God Love. (not always instantly awakened, but greatly expidited by the love the guru feels for you. So "How to Love God" Shubal does not really know anything, but he does love God, and Seva, Inner Work (puja, meditation and Chandi), Kirtan and Darshan seem to be his way, the heart flies. Love Shubal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2003 Report Share Posted December 11, 2003 Dear Latha, Well, I cannot say yes to either of the two choices you offered me, but I can say that you inspired me somehow to remember that story, I can't exactly say why. Since it was an intuition, God knows. I believe any story is only valuable if it says something to you, so if it does, great, if it doesn't, that doesn't matter. It's an old story. I heard it a long time ago, and of course didn't write it. I think as an old story it can have meaning for many people, otherwise we wouldn't keep passing it down. It may or may not be your story right now. I sure like what you said about it. Iove Nitya , "Latha Nanda" <lathananda> wrote: > Dear Nitya, > > Yes, I agree with you . When we are pushed to a point when we are dry > and have no inspiration - we come to a crossroad. To continue or not? > Conventional wisdom doesnt help here and the mind is too drained. > > At this point, just need to snuggle into our mom's lap and say "i > surrender" and let go. And .... suddenly we are filled with a renewed > burst of energy. > > I am interpreting the story as - the old man represents the tired > sadhak and the old lady as God/Guru. When he surrenders to her, she > gathers him and rocks him and removes three hairs (blocks to his > growth) and turns him into a young child (renewed burst of energy to > restart sadhana). > > Is that how you are looking at it too or am I way outta line here? Or > was that story meant to be a koan of sorts ? > > Love > Latha > , "nitya_ma" <nitya_ma> wrote: > > Dear Latha, > > Well, I know perseverence pays off, and patience. > > But we can dry up and out so easily when we try so hard, when > > our nose gets skinned from being too close to that grindstone, > > when our sincerity and integrity pushes us into the realm of Too > Much > > and we lose heart. Even though wandering in the desert is usually > > a part of our spiritual quest, and that we may need to wander there > quite a > > long time. > > Here is a story I heard a long time ago, and I just thought of: > > > > It's called The Three Golden Hairs > > > > There once was an old, old, old man. He was so very old that most > of his > > teeth were missing, and his skin hung in many folds from his > skeletal body. > > Only a few hairs remained on his head, and his eyes were dimmed and > milky. > > His body was weak, and trembled. He walked unsteadily in the > darkest of > > nights--that kind of moonless dark where you can barely see in > front of your > > face. > > The old man carried a lantern, with a light inside. As he > stumbled along on > > the rocky, uneven ground, his light sputtered and grew lower, and > he grew > > weaker, but still he kept on; as he moved along the ground, he > became so > > weak, that he stumbled, and fell, but still holding on to his tiny > light, he > > continued on his way, now crawling on the ground, feeling the way > with his > > one hand, and on his knees. > > On and on he went like this, slowly, and painfully, and the > light got dimmer > > and dimmer and dimmer, and the night was very cold as well as very > dark, but > > still he kept on, and on and on, moving along on the ground, > slowly, slowly. > > And the light got so dim, it was barely there, just a tiny, tiny > blue flame. > > The old man was gasping and wheezing, nearly in despair, but he did > not > > stop and he did not put down the lantern. > > After a very, very long time, endless time, in the distance the > old man saw > > another light, far away, and he continued to crawl slowly and > painfully toward > > that light, closer and closer. As he approached, the light gave > shape > > to the surroundings, and one could barely discern it was light > coming from a > > window. After a long while, the old man came to the doorstep, and > collapsed, > > onto the step, still holding the tiny light, barely breathing. > > Suddenly the door flew open and incredible, warm light burst out > of the > > house, and on the step stood an old woman. She bent down to the > old man, > > and carefully gathered him into her arms and slowly, gently brought > his frail > > body into the house, closed the door, and still holding him, sat > down in her > > rocking chair by the blazing fireplace. > > She could easily carry him because he was just barely there, > just a bag of > > bones. She held him in her arms, and slowly she began to rock. > > She rocked, and rocked, and rocked---a long time she rocked, > holding him, > > humming softly to herself, rocking in her chair. > > Another endless time passing, as the old woman held the old man > and > > rocked him; as she did so, something strange and wonderful started > to > > happen. The old man started to look different as the old woman > rocked; > > slowly his hair became more abundant, and his skin less loose; and > still she > > rocked. The grayness of his skin began to disappear, and color > started to > > appear, and on she rocked; his body became more and more finely > > muscled,and his hair started to turn golden, and as she rocked on, > he became > > younger and younger, soon he was a young man in her arms, and she > > continued to rock him; after a time, the old woman paused, and > suddenly, > > reaching to the young man's head, she quickly pulled out one golden > hair and > > threw it onto the stone floor, where it landed, with a ringing > sound of "ping...!" > > She continued to rock the young man, and he became younger and > younger > > until his was a little boy with a rosy face and golden curls and > again she > > stopped, and again she reached and pulled out one single golden > hair and > > threw it to the ground where it landed with a "ping...!" > > She never stopped holding him and rocking him, until one last > time she > > pulled out a third golden hair and it too landed on the stone floor > with the > > sound of "ping..!" > > Then, suddenly, the beautiful golden baby boy jumped up out of > her lap > > with a joyful laugh, and running to the door, threw it open, and > ran out into > > the open sky...... > > > > That's the story as I remember it. I can't say exactly why I was > reminded of it, > > or if it's a story for you, but there it is. > > > > with love to you > > Nitya > > > > > > > > > > > > > > , "Latha Nanda" <lathananda> > > wrote: > > > It all started with a question :- Why is this happening to me ? > > > > > > I look at the people who look serene . How do you do it ? > > > > > > They said :- Keep doing this sadhana constantly ... you too will > come > > > to love God as much as we do. That will give you the peace that > you > > > seek. > > > > > > I start and keep doing ... after a while I can fake it no longer. > I > > > cannot visualize a loving mother or all-knowing father taking > care > > > of me. > > > > > > So I ask , you are feeling the love. Why cant I ? > > > > > > My question is now : - Why is this not happening to me ? > > > > > > They said :- Keep at the Sadhana ... > > > > > > I promise :- I WILL keep at it, and polish it and refine it > and ....KEEP AT IT. > > > > > > A calm came over me with the resolution to keep at the sadhana. > > > > > > Love will come .... when it has to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 12, 2003 Report Share Posted December 12, 2003 Forgive me if I am not consistant with the chat room these days. I am signing on and reading and then signing off. I hope I haven't missed much. I understand the feeling of dryness and like Shubal said it is a dark night of the soul and it's a wonderful phase. We can look at it like the dreadful dark night but it's a clue to the mystic that we are going deeper. It's like drilling down to the core of the earth, sometimes you hit granite and it feels like your getting nowhere. At that point, like nature, I take a small break. I keep doing sadhana, but sometimes in order to get the drill to penetrate, you need more force and for me, I gain energy by taking a small break and then going for it again. Sometimes when I resist taking break, I throw temper tantrums. That 'dry' feeling can be made 'wet' by a tantrum. If we can get past our 'adultness of proper acting' and get back to the child, we can throw a temper tantrum to Ma to help us drill deeper, to get past the granite. Then we have to be open to what She gives us otherwise our tantrums are in vain. Tantrums are mega emotions thru conscious thought or prayer, they are loaded with force and I never regret having one. I don't think Ramakrishna ever regretted having one either. Also, if you want to take a more analytical approach to the Dark Night, ask yourself what is making you dry. It could be certain beleifs are no longer fitting to your path, meaning at a certain point, you develope your own understanding of God thru your own experience. You create your own map for what works for you. We have to have courage at this point to take a path that seems more wild than the previous one that has been walked. The mystic path is adventurous in the inner journey. IMO Each Guru who is effective walked a large part of the path on their own, following Guru in the way Guru beckoned them. Not all Guru's had Guru's in physical form to lead them, so they walked a wild path, not the beaten one. This is a clue to knowing that sometimes, we have to make our own way on 'part' of the journey and if we blindly follow someone elses ideal and .01% may not work for us, we need to discard that .01% and find what does work for us in it's replacement. There are no mistakes. Often times dryness occurs when we are doing something that is not fitting to our nature and that in itself will impeed the flow of shakti to penetrate the granite. If there is another tool in the drill that is impeeding the drill itself, it cannot be effective. Walking the path means knowing yourSelf. The reality is that we know ourselves much better than anyone, so then when we follow someone, that's easy, the scarey part is to recognize 'our' knowledge and to trust that and follow it, intuitively, not neccessarily with the analytical mind. My path is not my Guru's path. It could never be because I am a different vantage point in the Universe and so are you. Guru's beckon, but sometimes on the journey, we have to recognize what is working and what isn't. For some, doing puja is not going to work for them and just sitting will. For some sitting may not work when puja will. Sitting works better for me than puja and thank God my Guru didn't prescribe puja for me to learn, he knew it was not for me. But, if he had, I'd still follow my north and do what I know works for me from my own wild journey, and that is to sit, breathe and be simple. The dark night is a great place, like the desert, full of life if we have the sight to see it. My 2cents worth:) Jai maa! nitya_ma <nitya_ma > wrote: Dear Latha,Well, I cannot say yes to either of the two choices you offered me,but I can say that you inspired me somehow to remember thatstory, I can't exactly say why. Since it was an intuition, God knows.I believe any story is only valuable if it says something to you,so if it does, great, if it doesn't, that doesn't matter.It's an old story. I heard it a long time ago, and of course didn't write it.I think as an old story it can have meaning for many people,otherwise we wouldn't keep passing it down.It may or may not be your story right now.I sure like what you said about it.IoveNitya, "Latha Nanda" <lathananda> wrote:> Dear Nitya,> > Yes, I agree with you . When we are pushed to a point when we are dry > and have no inspiration - we come to a crossroad. To continue or not?> Conventional wisdom doesnt help here and the mind is too drained.> > At this point, just need to snuggle into our mom's lap and say "i > surrender" and let go. And .... suddenly we are filled with a renewed > burst of energy.> > I am interpreting the story as - the old man represents the tired > sadhak and the old lady as God/Guru. When he surrenders to her, she > gathers him and rocks him and removes three hairs (blocks to his > growth) and turns him into a young child (renewed burst of energy to > restart sadhana).> > Is that how you are looking at it too or am I way outta line here? Or > was that story meant to be a koan of sorts ?> > Love> Latha> > > > > > > > --- In , "nitya_ma" <nitya_ma> wrote:> > Dear Latha,> > Well, I know perseverence pays off, and patience.> > But we can dry up and out so easily when we try so hard, when> > our nose gets skinned from being too close to that grindstone,> > when our sincerity and integrity pushes us into the realm of Too > Much> > and we lose heart. Even though wandering in the desert is usually> > a part of our spiritual quest, and that we may need to wander there > quite a > > long time.> > Here is a story I heard a long time ago, and I just thought of:> > > > It's called The Three Golden Hairs> > > > There once was an old, old, old man. He was so very old that most > of his > > teeth were missing, and his skin hung in many folds from his > skeletal body. > > Only a few hairs remained on his head, and his eyes were dimmed and > milky.> > His body was weak, and trembled. He walked unsteadily in the > darkest of > > nights--that kind of moonless dark where you can barely see in > front of your > > face.> > The old man carried a lantern, with a light inside. As he > stumbled along on > > the rocky, uneven ground, his light sputtered and grew lower, and > he grew > > weaker, but still he kept on; as he moved along the ground, he > became so > > weak, that he stumbled, and fell, but still holding on to his tiny > light, he > > continued on his way, now crawling on the ground, feeling the way > with his > > one hand, and on his knees.> > On and on he went like this, slowly, and painfully, and the > light got dimmer > > and dimmer and dimmer, and the night was very cold as well as very > dark, but > > still he kept on, and on and on, moving along on the ground, > slowly, slowly.> > And the light got so dim, it was barely there, just a tiny, tiny > blue flame.> > The old man was gasping and wheezing, nearly in despair, but he did > not > > stop and he did not put down the lantern.> > After a very, very long time, endless time, in the distance the > old man saw > > another light, far away, and he continued to crawl slowly and > painfully toward > > that light, closer and closer. As he approached, the light gave > shape > > to the surroundings, and one could barely discern it was light > coming from a > > window. After a long while, the old man came to the doorstep, and > collapsed,> > onto the step, still holding the tiny light, barely breathing.> > Suddenly the door flew open and incredible, warm light burst out > of the > > house, and on the step stood an old woman. She bent down to the > old man, > > and carefully gathered him into her arms and slowly, gently brought > his frail > > body into the house, closed the door, and still holding him, sat > down in her > > rocking chair by the blazing fireplace.> > She could easily carry him because he was just barely there, > just a bag of > > bones. She held him in her arms, and slowly she began to rock.> > She rocked, and rocked, and rocked---a long time she rocked, > holding him,> > humming softly to herself, rocking in her chair.> > Another endless time passing, as the old woman held the old man > and > > rocked him; as she did so, something strange and wonderful started > to > > happen. The old man started to look different as the old woman > rocked; > > slowly his hair became more abundant, and his skin less loose; and > still she > > rocked. The grayness of his skin began to disappear, and color > started to > > appear, and on she rocked; his body became more and more finely > > muscled,and his hair started to turn golden, and as she rocked on, > he became > > younger and younger, soon he was a young man in her arms, and she > > continued to rock him; after a time, the old woman paused, and > suddenly, > > reaching to the young man's head, she quickly pulled out one golden > hair and > > threw it onto the stone floor, where it landed, with a ringing > sound of "ping...!"> > She continued to rock the young man, and he became younger and > younger > > until his was a little boy with a rosy face and golden curls and > again she > > stopped, and again she reached and pulled out one single golden > hair and > > threw it to the ground where it landed with a "ping...!"> > She never stopped holding him and rocking him, until one last > time she> > pulled out a third golden hair and it too landed on the stone floor > with the > > sound of "ping..!"> > Then, suddenly, the beautiful golden baby boy jumped up out of > her lap> > with a joyful laugh, and running to the door, threw it open, and > ran out into> > the open sky......> > > > That's the story as I remember it. I can't say exactly why I was > reminded of it,> > or if it's a story for you, but there it is.> > > > with love to you> > Nitya> > > > > > > > > > > > > > --- In , "Latha Nanda" <lathananda> > > wrote:> > > It all started with a question :- Why is this happening to me ?> > > > > > I look at the people who look serene . How do you do it ?> > > > > > They said :- Keep doing this sadhana constantly .... you too will > come > > > to love God as much as we do. That will give you the peace that > you > > > seek.> > > > > > I start and keep doing ... after a while I can fake it no longer. > I > > > cannot visualize a loving mother or all-knowing father taking > care > > > of me.> > > > > > So I ask , you are feeling the love. Why cant I ?> > > > > > My question is now : - Why is this not happening to me ?> > > > > > They said :- Keep at the Sadhana ...> > > > > > I promise :- I WILL keep at it, and polish it and refine it > and ....KEEP AT IT. > > > > > > A calm came over me with the resolution to keep at the sadhana.> > > > > > Love will come .... when it has to.To from this group, send an email to:Your use of is subject to the New Photos - easier uploading and sharing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 13, 2003 Report Share Posted December 13, 2003 Oh, Kelly. Once again I am amazed at your wisdom and the skillful way you articulate it. Your description of Gurus who went out on their own or had no physical Guru of their own remind me so much of Shree Maa and Swamiji and Ramakrishna and even myself. My first teacher had a motto "Wise is the man who seeks to improve his knowledge of himself!". She even had a little owl logo to go with it! I feel Shree Maa and Swamiji with me all the time, but I am on my own now. I don't know how long this will last. But for now I am living in the mountains and loving the solitude and also the joy of a small artistic and spiritual community. Sadhana comes in many forms. God consciousness and union is my daily goal. My love to you and everyone, Ardis Kelly Leeper <blissnout > Fri, 12 Dec 2003 12:28:46 -0800 (PST) Re: Re: Love will come .... when it has to. Latha, Namaste:) Forgive me if I am not consistant with the chat room these days. I am signing on and reading and then signing off. I hope I haven't missed much. I understand the feeling of dryness and like Shubal said it is a dark night of the soul and it's a wonderful phase. We can look at it like the dreadful dark night but it's a clue to the mystic that we are going deeper. It's like drilling down to the core of the earth, sometimes you hit granite and it feels like your getting nowhere. At that point, like nature, I take a small break. I keep doing sadhana, but sometimes in order to get the drill to penetrate, you need more force and for me, I gain energy by taking a small break and then going for it again. Sometimes when I resist taking break, I throw temper tantrums. That 'dry' feeling can be made 'wet' by a tantrum. If we can get past our 'adultness of proper acting' and get back to the child, we can throw a temper tantrum to Ma to help us drill deeper, to get past the granite. Then we have to be open to what She gives us otherwise our tantrums are in vain. Tantrums are mega emotions thru conscious thought or prayer, they are loaded with force and I never regret having one. I don't think Ramakrishna ever regretted having one either. Also, if you want to take a more analytical approach to the Dark Night, ask yourself what is making you dry. It could be certain beleifs are no longer fitting to your path, meaning at a certain point, you develope your own understanding of God thru your own experience. You create your own map for what works for you. We have to have courage at this point to take a path that seems more wild than the previous one that has been walked. The mystic path is adventurous in the inner journey. IMO Each Guru who is effective walked a large part of the path on their own, following Guru in the way Guru beckoned them. Not all Guru's had Guru's in physical form to lead them, so they walked a wild path, not the beaten one. This is a clue to knowing that sometimes, we have to make our own way on 'part' of the journey and if we blindly follow someone elses ideal and .01% may not work for us, we need to discard that .01% and find what does work for us in it's replacement. There are no mistakes. Often times dryness occurs when we are doing something that is not fitting to our nature and that in itself will impeed the flow of shakti to penetrate the granite. If there is another tool in the drill that is impeeding the drill itself, it cannot be effective. Walking the path means knowing yourSelf. The reality is that we know ourselves much better than anyone, so then when we follow someone, that's easy, the scarey part is to recognize 'our' knowledge and to trust that and follow it, intuitively, not neccessarily with the analytical mind. My path is not my Guru's path. It could never be because I am a different vantage point in the Universe and so are you. Guru's beckon, but sometimes on the journey, we have to recognize what is working and what isn't. For some, doing puja is not going to work for them and just sitting will. For some sitting may not work when puja will. Sitting works better for me than puja and thank God my Guru didn't prescribe puja for me to learn, he knew it was not for me. But, if he had, I'd still follow my north and do what I know works for me from my own wild journey, and that is to sit, breathe and be simple. The dark night is a great place, like the desert, full of life if we have the sight to see it. My 2cents worth:) Jai maa! nitya_ma <nitya_ma > wrote: Dear Latha, Well, I cannot say yes to either of the two choices you offered me, but I can say that you inspired me somehow to remember that story, I can't exactly say why. Since it was an intuition, God knows. I believe any story is only valuable if it says something to you, so if it does, great, if it doesn't, that doesn't matter. It's an old story. I heard it a long time ago, and of course didn't write it. I think as an old story it can have meaning for many people, otherwise we wouldn't keep passing it down. It may or may not be your story right now. I sure like what you said about it. Iove Nitya , "Latha Nanda" <lathananda> wrote: > Dear Nitya, > > Yes, I agree with you . When we are pushed to a point when we are dry > and have no inspiration - we come to a crossroad. To continue or not? > Conventional wisdom doesnt help here and the mind is too drained. > > At this point, just need to snuggle into our mom's lap and say "i > surrender" and let go. And .... suddenly we are filled with a renewed > burst of energy. > > I am interpreting the story as - the old man represents the tired > sadhak and the old lady as God/Guru. When he surrenders to her, she > gathers him and rocks him and removes three hairs (blocks to his > growth) and turns him into a young child (renewed burst of energy to > restart sadhana). > > Is that how you are looking at it too or am I way outta line here? Or > was that story meant to be a koan of sorts ? > > Love > Latha > > > > > > > > , "nitya_ma" <nitya_ma> wrote: > > Dear Latha, > > Well, I know perseverence pays off, and patience. > > But we can dry up and out so easily when we try so hard, when > > our nose gets skinned from being too close to that grindstone, > > when our sincerity and integrity pushes us into the realm of Too > Much > > and we lose heart. Even though wandering in the desert is usually > > a part of our spiritual quest, and that we may need to wander there > quite a > > long time. > > Here is a story I heard a long time ago, and I just thought of: > > > > It's called The Three Golden Hairs > > > > There once was an old, old, old man. He was so very old that most > of his > > teeth were missing, and his skin hung in many folds from his > skeletal body. > > Only a few hairs remained on his head, and his eyes were dimmed and > milky. > > His body was weak, and trembled. He walked unsteadily in the > darkest of > > nights--that kind of moonless dark where you can barely see in > front of your > > face. > > The old man carried a lantern, with a light inside. As he > stumbled along on > > the rocky, uneven ground, his light sputtered and grew lower, and > he grew > > weaker, but still he kept on; as he moved along the ground, he > became so > > weak, that he stumbled, and fell, but still holding on to his tiny > light, he > > continued on his way, now crawling on the ground, feeling the way > with his > > one hand, and on his knees. > > On and on he went like this, slowly, and painfully, and the > light got dimmer > > and dimmer and dimmer, and the night was very cold as well as very > dark, but > > still he kept on, and on and on, moving along on the ground, > slowly, slowly. > > And the light got so dim, it was barely there, just a tiny, tiny > blue flame. > > The old man was gasping and wheezing, nearly in despair, but he did > not > > stop and he did not put down the lantern. > > After a very, very long time, endless time, in the distance the > old man saw > > another light, far away, and he continued to crawl slowly and > painfully toward > > that light, closer and closer. As he approached, the light gave > shape > > to the surroundings, and one could barely discern it was light > coming from a > > window. After a long while, the old man came to the doorstep, and > collapsed, > > onto the step, still holding the tiny light, barely breathing. > > Suddenly the door flew open and incredible, warm light burst out > of the > > house, and on the step stood an old woman. She bent down to the > old man, > > and carefully gathered him into her arms and slowly, gently brought > his frail > > body into the house, closed the door, and still holding him, sat > down in her > > rocking chair by the blazing fireplace. > > She could easily carry him because he was just barely there, > just a bag of > > bones. She held him in her arms, and slowly she began to rock. > > She rocked, and rocked, and rocked---a long time she rocked, > holding him, > > humming softly to herself, rocking in her chair. > > Another endless time passing, as the old woman held the old man > and > > rocked him; as she did so, something strange and wonderful started > to > > happen. The old man started to look different as the old woman > rocked; > > slowly his hair became more abundant, and his skin less loose; and > still she > > rocked. The grayness of his skin began to disappear, and color > started to > > appear, and on she rocked; his body became more and more finely > > muscled,and his hair started to turn golden, and as she rocked on, > he became > > younger and younger, soon he was a young man in her arms, and she > > continued to rock him; after a time, the old woman paused, and > suddenly, > > reaching to the young man's head, she quickly pulled out one golden > hair and > > threw it onto the stone floor, where it landed, with a ringing > sound of "ping...!" > > She continued to rock the young man, and he became younger and > younger > > until his was a little boy with a rosy face and golden curls and > again she > > stopped, and again she reached and pulled out one single golden > hair and > > threw it to the ground where it landed with a "ping...!" > > She never stopped holding him and rocking him, until one last > time she > > pulled out a third golden hair and it too landed on the stone floor > with the > > sound of "ping..!" > > Then, suddenly, the beautiful golden baby boy jumped up out of > her lap > > with a joyful laugh, and running to the door, threw it open, and > ran out into > > the open sky...... > > > > That's the story as I remember it. I can't say exactly why I was > reminded of it, > > or if it's a story for you, but there it is. > > > > with love to you > > Nitya > > > > > > > > > > > > > > , "Latha Nanda" <lathananda> > > wrote: > > > It all started with a question :- Why is this happening to me ? > > > > > > I look at the people who look serene . How do you do it ? > > > > > > They said :- Keep doing this sadhana constantly ... you too will > come > > > to love God as much as we do. That will give you the peace that > you > > > seek. > > > > > > I start and keep doing ... after a while I can fake it no longer. > I > > > cannot visualize a loving mother or all-knowing father taking > care > > > of me. > > > > > > So I ask , you are feeling the love. Why cant I ? > > > > > > My question is now : - Why is this not happening to me ? > > > > > > They said :- Keep at the Sadhana ... > > > > > > I promise :- I WILL keep at it, and polish it and refine it > and ....KEEP AT IT. > > > > > > A calm came over me with the resolution to keep at the sadhana. > > > > > > Love will come .... when it has to. Terms of Service <> . New Photos - easier uploading and sharing <http://pa./*http://us.rd./evt=21260/*http://photos.> Sponsor Terms of Service <> . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 13, 2003 Report Share Posted December 13, 2003 Dear Kelly, Glad that you are signing on and responding from time to time I am glad for this forum and glad for people's thoughts because it helps me articulate and define my own. I think there are two different points here 1) How do I feel that love that some advanced souls feel for automatically for God (Answer:Keep doing Sadhana) and 2) How do I keep the inspiration alive for doing the Sadhana. (Your suggestions help here) My original post was addressing the first point. As for the second point I can take either one of Maa's or Swamiji's suggestions depending on the current frame of mind. If I am feeling rational , then I go by Swamiji's suggestion " I cannot feel love , but I WILL keep my knees down and keep going" . This is sheer determination. If I am feeling emotional, then I go by Maa's suggestion "I just surrender to You. How do you want me to continue". So I think I have a plan of attack for continuing my Sadhana depending on my frame of mind. As for the first point , there have been rare moments in my life when I felt at complete peace with everything. Troubles ? Bring 'em on. I wont feel a thing . Just total and cheerful acceptance. Is this love ? Is love even better than what I felt? Wow. Then I want THAT! So I have had some small, tiny, inkling , tantalising demos of what some great souls in Love might be feeling continuously . And this feeling happens when I unconditionally accept the situation without trying to control it . This is my real Sadhana and puja,meditation etc are only methods to keep reminding me of that state of being open. Advisable to stick with whatever gets me in that state and what methods drew me there in the first place, simply because of the power of repetition. I think the dark night of the soul happens to advanced practitioners after years of sadhana . I am flattered to think that my little attempts at mourning the lack of love could be compared to that ) Best wishes, Latha , Kelly Leeper <blissnout> wrote: > Latha, Namaste:) > > Forgive me if I am not consistant with the chat room these days. I am signing on and reading and then signing off. I hope I haven't missed much. > > I understand the feeling of dryness and like Shubal said it is a dark night of the soul and it's a wonderful phase. We can look at it like the dreadful dark night but it's a clue to the mystic that we are going deeper. It's like drilling down to the core of the earth, sometimes you hit granite and it feels like your getting nowhere. At that point, like nature, I take a small break. I keep doing sadhana, but sometimes in order to get the drill to penetrate, you need more force and for me, I gain energy by taking a small break and then going for it again. Sometimes when I resist taking break, I throw temper tantrums. That 'dry' feeling can be made 'wet' by a tantrum. If we can get past our 'adultness of proper acting' and get back to the child, we can throw a temper tantrum to Ma to help us drill deeper, to get past the granite. Then we have to be open to what She gives us otherwise our tantrums are in vain. Tantrums are mega emotions thru conscious thought or prayer, they are > loaded with force and I never regret having one. I don't think Ramakrishna ever regretted having one either. > > Also, if you want to take a more analytical approach to the Dark Night, ask yourself what is making you dry. It could be certain beleifs are no longer fitting to your path, meaning at a certain point, you develope your own understanding of God thru your own experience. You create your own map for what works for you. We have to have courage at this point to take a path that seems more wild than the previous one that has been walked. The mystic path is adventurous in the inner journey. IMO Each Guru who is effective walked a large part of the path on their own, following Guru in the way Guru beckoned them. Not all Guru's had Guru's in physical form to lead them, so they walked a wild path, not the beaten one. This is a clue to knowing that sometimes, we have to make our own way on 'part' of the journey and if we blindly follow someone elses ideal and .01% may not work for us, we need to discard that .01% and find what does work for us in it's replacement. There are no > mistakes. Often times dryness occurs when we are doing something that is not fitting to our nature and that in itself will impeed the flow of shakti to penetrate the granite. If there is another tool in the drill that is impeeding the drill itself, it cannot be effective. Walking the path means knowing yourSelf. The reality is that we know ourselves much better than anyone, so then when we follow someone, that's easy, the scarey part is to recognize 'our' knowledge and to trust that and follow it, intuitively, not neccessarily with the analytical mind. My path is not my Guru's path. It could never be because I am a different vantage point in the Universe and so are you. Guru's beckon, but sometimes on the journey, we have to recognize what is working and what isn't. > > For some, doing puja is not going to work for them and just sitting will. For some sitting may not work when puja will. Sitting works better for me than puja and thank God my Guru didn't prescribe puja for me to learn, he knew it was not for me. But, if he had, I'd still follow my north and do what I know works for me from my own wild journey, and that is to sit, breathe and be simple. > > The dark night is a great place, like the desert, full of life if we have the sight to see it. > > My 2cents worth:) Jai maa! > nitya_ma <nitya_ma> wrote: > Dear Latha, > Well, I cannot say yes to either of the two choices you offered me, > but I can say that you inspired me somehow to remember that > story, I can't exactly say why. Since it was an intuition, God knows. > I believe any story is only valuable if it says something to you, > so if it does, great, if it doesn't, that doesn't matter. > It's an old story. I heard it a long time ago, and of course didn't write it. > I think as an old story it can have meaning for many people, > otherwise we wouldn't keep passing it down. > It may or may not be your story right now. > I sure like what you said about it. > > Iove > Nitya > > > > , "Latha Nanda" <lathananda> > wrote: > > Dear Nitya, > > > > Yes, I agree with you . When we are pushed to a point when we are dry > > and have no inspiration - we come to a crossroad. To continue or not? > > Conventional wisdom doesnt help here and the mind is too drained. > > > > At this point, just need to snuggle into our mom's lap and say "i > > surrender" and let go. And .... suddenly we are filled with a renewed > > burst of energy. > > > > I am interpreting the story as - the old man represents the tired > > sadhak and the old lady as God/Guru. When he surrenders to her, she > > gathers him and rocks him and removes three hairs (blocks to his > > growth) and turns him into a young child (renewed burst of energy to > > restart sadhana). > > > > Is that how you are looking at it too or am I way outta line here? Or > > was that story meant to be a koan of sorts ? > > > > Love > > Latha > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > , "nitya_ma" <nitya_ma> wrote: > > > Dear Latha, > > > Well, I know perseverence pays off, and patience. > > > But we can dry up and out so easily when we try so hard, when > > > our nose gets skinned from being too close to that grindstone, > > > when our sincerity and integrity pushes us into the realm of Too > > Much > > > and we lose heart. Even though wandering in the desert is usually > > > a part of our spiritual quest, and that we may need to wander there > > quite a > > > long time. > > > Here is a story I heard a long time ago, and I just thought of: > > > > > > It's called The Three Golden Hairs > > > > > > There once was an old, old, old man. He was so very old that most > > of his > > > teeth were missing, and his skin hung in many folds from his > > skeletal body. > > > Only a few hairs remained on his head, and his eyes were dimmed and > > milky. > > > His body was weak, and trembled. He walked unsteadily in the > > darkest of > > > nights--that kind of moonless dark where you can barely see in > > front of your > > > face. > > > The old man carried a lantern, with a light inside. As he > > stumbled along on > > > the rocky, uneven ground, his light sputtered and grew lower, and > > he grew > > > weaker, but still he kept on; as he moved along the ground, he > > became so > > > weak, that he stumbled, and fell, but still holding on to his tiny > > light, he > > > continued on his way, now crawling on the ground, feeling the way > > with his > > > one hand, and on his knees. > > > On and on he went like this, slowly, and painfully, and the > > light got dimmer > > > and dimmer and dimmer, and the night was very cold as well as very > > dark, but > > > still he kept on, and on and on, moving along on the ground, > > slowly, slowly. > > > And the light got so dim, it was barely there, just a tiny, tiny > > blue flame. > > > The old man was gasping and wheezing, nearly in despair, but he did > > not > > > stop and he did not put down the lantern. > > > After a very, very long time, endless time, in the distance the > > old man saw > > > another light, far away, and he continued to crawl slowly and > > painfully toward > > > that light, closer and closer. As he approached, the light gave > > shape > > > to the surroundings, and one could barely discern it was light > > coming from a > > > window. After a long while, the old man came to the doorstep, and > > collapsed, > > > onto the step, still holding the tiny light, barely breathing. > > > Suddenly the door flew open and incredible, warm light burst out > > of the > > > house, and on the step stood an old woman. She bent down to the > > old man, > > > and carefully gathered him into her arms and slowly, gently brought > > his frail > > > body into the house, closed the door, and still holding him, sat > > down in her > > > rocking chair by the blazing fireplace. > > > She could easily carry him because he was just barely there, > > just a bag of > > > bones. She held him in her arms, and slowly she began to rock. > > > She rocked, and rocked, and rocked---a long time she rocked, > > holding him, > > > humming softly to herself, rocking in her chair. > > > Another endless time passing, as the old woman held the old man > > and > > > rocked him; as she did so, something strange and wonderful started > > to > > > happen. The old man started to look different as the old woman > > rocked; > > > slowly his hair became more abundant, and his skin less loose; and > > still she > > > rocked. The grayness of his skin began to disappear, and color > > started to > > > appear, and on she rocked; his body became more and more finely > > > muscled,and his hair started to turn golden, and as she rocked on, > > he became > > > younger and younger, soon he was a young man in her arms, and she > > > continued to rock him; after a time, the old woman paused, and > > suddenly, > > > reaching to the young man's head, she quickly pulled out one golden > > hair and > > > threw it onto the stone floor, where it landed, with a ringing > > sound of "ping...!" > > > She continued to rock the young man, and he became younger and > > younger > > > until his was a little boy with a rosy face and golden curls and > > again she > > > stopped, and again she reached and pulled out one single golden > > hair and > > > threw it to the ground where it landed with a "ping...!" > > > She never stopped holding him and rocking him, until one last > > time she > > > pulled out a third golden hair and it too landed on the stone floor > > with the > > > sound of "ping..!" > > > Then, suddenly, the beautiful golden baby boy jumped up out of > > her lap > > > with a joyful laugh, and running to the door, threw it open, and > > ran out into > > > the open sky...... > > > > > > That's the story as I remember it. I can't say exactly why I was > > reminded of it, > > > or if it's a story for you, but there it is. > > > > > > with love to you > > > Nitya > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > , "Latha Nanda" <lathananda> > > > wrote: > > > > It all started with a question :- Why is this happening to me ? > > > > > > > > I look at the people who look serene . How do you do it ? > > > > > > > > They said :- Keep doing this sadhana constantly ... you too will > > come > > > > to love God as much as we do. That will give you the peace that > > you > > > > seek. > > > > > > > > I start and keep doing ... after a while I can fake it no longer. > > I > > > > cannot visualize a loving mother or all-knowing father taking > > care > > > > of me. > > > > > > > > So I ask , you are feeling the love. Why cant I ? > > > > > > > > My question is now : - Why is this not happening to me ? > > > > > > > > They said :- Keep at the Sadhana ... > > > > > > > > I promise :- I WILL keep at it, and polish it and refine it > > and ....KEEP AT IT. > > > > > > > > A calm came over me with the resolution to keep at the sadhana. > > > > > > > > Love will come .... when it has to. > > > > Sponsor > > > > > > > Terms of Service. > > > > > New Photos - easier uploading and sharing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 13, 2003 Report Share Posted December 13, 2003 Dear Latha, I've been reading a book by a westerner name Eckhart Tolle. He is the most eastern westerner I have met (except Swami Satyananda of course, but I'm not sure he counts as a westerner, heh). Reading "The Power of Now," is doing amazing things for me. I see it as a way to express in thought what is the power / weakness of mind and a way of demonstrating how thought itself is a waste of time. More importantly thought itself exists because of time and identifying with thought puts us at the mercy of time. I realized this week, on three separate occasions that I didn't have to think. It turns out I've done this from time to time in my life without knowing I was doing it. Once when I was in college living with my Grandmother, it was Valentine's day, I was laying in bed ready for sleep when I was inspired to send everyone I knew a ruby heart as an expression of love. I visualized a ruby heart, put the name of the person it was for inside it and sent it to them, all in my imagination. After that an aura of peace enveloped me. I was still thinking, but it was different, it was more removed from myself. Anyway I was overcome by a feeling of love like I had never felt before. This is long before I knew of Hinduism or of spirituality in any real sense. It was an experience of the Now. The feeling lasted for several minutes until I felt my body freeze. At that moment my mind was fascinated, a pity really, and wondered how hard I would have to concentrate to move my finger. I brought myself out of that place with those thoughts. Once, early in my relationship with Krista I was preparing for sleep at her place, lying next to her, when I was overcome by a feeling of pure joy. I was actually unable to think. The only words I could think of were, "Everything is perfect." But I wanted to express so much more. I realized in that moment that life is just a place where we come to play. Some of us want to play into the drama and others out of it, but that there is no judgement from our souls or from god, everyone simply loves everyone. This personal space lasted for ten minutes or so, it seemed like a long time probably because there was no time involved. This week I have been blessed three times more with such moments. The first time it happened this week I was thinking about Shree Maa and I remembered when she hugged me the last time I saw her and how so very sweet and cute she is. Then I remembered looking down on the back of her head when she turned to walk away and I found the space between my memories. The feeling isn't a feeling. Its not a thought or any sort of sensation. It simply is an experience felt beyond the physical, and yet it feels physical. The second time it happened I'm having a hard time remembering. There's a reason for that I'm sure. The third time was coming back to the bay area from Boise last night (business trip to the Micron mother ship). I was reading Tolle and somehow his words are very Chandi like. He has the ability to dispel thought with words. I was talking to a coworker who was sitting next to me about the book because he asked and I summarized it beyond my capability, apparently Tolle rubs off on people. That is to say apparently consciousness rubs off... As I came home I was in and out of the space between thoughts and feelings. Its just a joyous place where there is nothing right or wrong, no judgement or criticism. It is a place free of duality. Then I came home and saw Krista. I took a breath looked into her eyes and stopped thinking. I felt the experience and then we talked about what she felt. Ironically, I wished out loud I could be that way for ever and that thought was the next thought I had. Even with the intrusion of thought, my fears and my habits (which are related) were different in the evening. They were easier to look past, to choose to do or not do. Here are my "thoughts" and "feelings" about your questions: 1) How do I feel that love that some advanced souls feel for automatically for God (Answer:Keep doing Sadhana) It is a lie that you aren't an advanced soul. That belief is your own limitation. A mental conditioning that keeps you from experiencing union. Sadhana merely prepares your mind for accepting the truth. The truth that mind is nothing and you are everything. 2) How do I keep the inspiration alive for doing the Sadhana. (Your suggestions help here) You are the inspiration, you are the one performing the sadhana, you are the doer and the be-er. The thing that doesn't want to be inspired is your mind because it resists the concept of non-exsistance. It resists the truth. It resists accepting reality at face value, accepting situations for what they are and it seeks distractions to keep you from realizing yourself. As long as you identify yourself with your mind you will continue to be at its mercy. But, and this is REALLY IMPORTANT, its okay to be where you are. We all start out identifying with everything around us, namely our parents, family and then friends. That is what a baby does. Over time we learn to identify ourselves with actions, abilities, with money or other non-objects, with the romance or the sex we have in our lives, or with the conquests we under take or with the people we love (a repeat of infancy). The next phase is identifying with our emotions and our mind. Throughout this process by identifying with these things which are subsequently not really who we are, we shine upon them the light of consciousness and REALIZE that we are not them. By identifying with things that are not ourselves we realize who we are. Its exactly how they describe Durga by the things she isn't. Those wise ancestors knew how it worked. Further on our journey we go deeper within and learn that we are not our minds or emotions either. But we could not realize that unless we first identified with something and shined our light upon it. We are a non physical light bulb lighting the universe which mistakenly identifies with the things it shines upon. How else can a light realize that it is the light, unless there is something on which it can shine and reflect back at itself? This is the beauty and wonder of Mother's universe. Everything is as it should be right here and right now. There is no future where you are enlightened like "advanced" souls. There is no past where you failed yourself. There is only this moment and there is only the light of you shining on your surroundings. My big lesson for the last week is simply that I cannot free myself of my mind with my mind. I was able to free myself from identifying with all the things around me by identifying with my mind and that was a very valuable step for me to make, it enabled me to shine light upon my mind and hone it to what it has become a tool for my soul, but my belief that I am my mind was just another mistake made because it was a necessary step in finding me among the not mes. Goddess bless, Brian At 09:18 AM 12/13/2003, you wrote: Dear Kelly, Glad that you are signing on and responding from time to time I am glad for this forum and glad for people's thoughts because it helps me articulate and define my own. I think there are two different points here 1) How do I feel that love that some advanced souls feel for automatically for God (Answer:Keep doing Sadhana) and 2) How do I keep the inspiration alive for doing the Sadhana. (Your suggestions help here) My original post was addressing the first point. As for the second point I can take either one of Maa's or Swamiji's suggestions depending on the current frame of mind. If I am feeling rational , then I go by Swamiji's suggestion " I cannot feel love , but I WILL keep my knees down and keep going" . This is sheer determination. If I am feeling emotional, then I go by Maa's suggestion "I just surrender to You. How do you want me to continue". So I think I have a plan of attack for continuing my Sadhana depending on my frame of mind. As for the first point , there have been rare moments in my life when I felt at complete peace with everything. Troubles ? Bring 'em on. I wont feel a thing . Just total and cheerful acceptance. Is this love ? Is love even better than what I felt? Wow. Then I want THAT! So I have had some small, tiny, inkling , tantalising demos of what some great souls in Love might be feeling continuously . And this feeling happens when I unconditionally accept the situation without trying to control it . This is my real Sadhana and puja,meditation etc are only methods to keep reminding me of that state of being open. Advisable to stick with whatever gets me in that state and what methods drew me there in the first place, simply because of the power of repetition. I think the dark night of the soul happens to advanced practitioners after years of sadhana . I am flattered to think that my little attempts at mourning the lack of love could be compared to that ) Best wishes, Latha , Kelly Leeper <blissnout> wrote: > Latha, Namaste:) > > Forgive me if I am not consistant with the chat room these days. I am signing on and reading and then signing off. I hope I haven't missed much. > > I understand the feeling of dryness and like Shubal said it is a dark night of the soul and it's a wonderful phase. We can look at it like the dreadful dark night but it's a clue to the mystic that we are going deeper. It's like drilling down to the core of the earth, sometimes you hit granite and it feels like your getting nowhere. At that point, like nature, I take a small break. I keep doing sadhana, but sometimes in order to get the drill to penetrate, you need more force and for me, I gain energy by taking a small break and then going for it again. Sometimes when I resist taking break, I throw temper tantrums. That 'dry' feeling can be made 'wet' by a tantrum. If we can get past our 'adultness of proper acting' and get back to the child, we can throw a temper tantrum to Ma to help us drill deeper, to get past the granite. Then we have to be open to what She gives us otherwise our tantrums are in vain. Tantrums are mega emotions thru conscious thought or prayer, they are > loaded with force and I never regret having one. I don't think Ramakrishna ever regretted having one either. > > Also, if you want to take a more analytical approach to the Dark Night, ask yourself what is making you dry. It could be certain beleifs are no longer fitting to your path, meaning at a certain point, you develope your own understanding of God thru your own experience. You create your own map for what works for you. We have to have courage at this point to take a path that seems more wild than the previous one that has been walked. The mystic path is adventurous in the inner journey. IMO Each Guru who is effective walked a large part of the path on their own, following Guru in the way Guru beckoned them. Not all Guru's had Guru's in physical form to lead them, so they walked a wild path, not the beaten one. This is a clue to knowing that sometimes, we have to make our own way on 'part' of the journey and if we blindly follow someone elses ideal and .01% may not work for us, we need to discard that .01% and find what does work for us in it's replacement. There are no > mistakes. Often times dryness occurs when we are doing something that is not fitting to our nature and that in itself will impeed the flow of shakti to penetrate the granite. If there is another tool in the drill that is impeeding the drill itself, it cannot be effective. Walking the path means knowing yourSelf. The reality is that we know ourselves much better than anyone, so then when we follow someone, that's easy, the scarey part is to recognize 'our' knowledge and to trust that and follow it, intuitively, not neccessarily with the analytical mind. My path is not my Guru's path. It could never be because I am a different vantage point in the Universe and so are you. Guru's beckon, but sometimes on the journey, we have to recognize what is working and what isn't. > > For some, doing puja is not going to work for them and just sitting will. For some sitting may not work when puja will. Sitting works better for me than puja and thank God my Guru didn't prescribe puja for me to learn, he knew it was not for me. But, if he had, I'd still follow my north and do what I know works for me from my own wild journey, and that is to sit, breathe and be simple. > > The dark night is a great place, like the desert, full of life if we have the sight to see it. > > My 2cents worth:) Jai maa! > nitya_ma <nitya_ma> wrote: > Dear Latha, > Well, I cannot say yes to either of the two choices you offered me, > but I can say that you inspired me somehow to remember that > story, I can't exactly say why. Since it was an intuition, God knows. > I believe any story is only valuable if it says something to you, > so if it does, great, if it doesn't, that doesn't matter. > It's an old story. I heard it a long time ago, and of course didn't write it. > I think as an old story it can have meaning for many people, > otherwise we wouldn't keep passing it down. > It may or may not be your story right now. > I sure like what you said about it. > > Iove > Nitya > > > > , "Latha Nanda" <lathananda> > wrote: > > Dear Nitya, > > > > Yes, I agree with you . When we are pushed to a point when we are dry > > and have no inspiration - we come to a crossroad. To continue or not? > > Conventional wisdom doesnt help here and the mind is too drained. > > > > At this point, just need to snuggle into our mom's lap and say "i > > surrender" and let go. And .... suddenly we are filled with a renewed > > burst of energy. > > > > I am interpreting the story as - the old man represents the tired > > sadhak and the old lady as God/Guru. When he surrenders to her, she > > gathers him and rocks him and removes three hairs (blocks to his > > growth) and turns him into a young child (renewed burst of energy to > > restart sadhana). > > > > Is that how you are looking at it too or am I way outta line here? Or > > was that story meant to be a koan of sorts ? > > > > Love > > Latha > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > , "nitya_ma" <nitya_ma> wrote: > > > Dear Latha, > > > Well, I know perseverence pays off, and patience. > > > But we can dry up and out so easily when we try so hard, when > > > our nose gets skinned from being too close to that grindstone, > > > when our sincerity and integrity pushes us into the realm of Too > > Much > > > and we lose heart. Even though wandering in the desert is usually > > > a part of our spiritual quest, and that we may need to wander there > > quite a > > > long time. > > > Here is a story I heard a long time ago, and I just thought of: > > > > > > It's called The Three Golden Hairs > > > > > > There once was an old, old, old man. He was so very old that most > > of his > > > teeth were missing, and his skin hung in many folds from his > > skeletal body. > > > Only a few hairs remained on his head, and his eyes were dimmed and > > milky. > > > His body was weak, and trembled. He walked unsteadily in the > > darkest of > > > nights--that kind of moonless dark where you can barely see in > > front of your > > > face. > > > The old man carried a lantern, with a light inside. As he > > stumbled along on > > > the rocky, uneven ground, his light sputtered and grew lower, and > > he grew > > > weaker, but still he kept on; as he moved along the ground, he > > became so > > > weak, that he stumbled, and fell, but still holding on to his tiny > > light, he > > > continued on his way, now crawling on the ground, feeling the way > > with his > > > one hand, and on his knees. > > > On and on he went like this, slowly, and painfully, and the > > light got dimmer > > > and dimmer and dimmer, and the night was very cold as well as very > > dark, but > > > still he kept on, and on and on, moving along on the ground, > > slowly, slowly. > > > And the light got so dim, it was barely there, just a tiny, tiny > > blue flame. > > > The old man was gasping and wheezing, nearly in despair, but he did > > not > > > stop and he did not put down the lantern. > > > After a very, very long time, endless time, in the distance the > > old man saw > > > another light, far away, and he continued to crawl slowly and > > painfully toward > > > that light, closer and closer. As he approached, the light gave > > shape > > > to the surroundings, and one could barely discern it was light > > coming from a > > > window. After a long while, the old man came to the doorstep, and > > collapsed, > > > onto the step, still holding the tiny light, barely breathing. > > > Suddenly the door flew open and incredible, warm light burst out > > of the > > > house, and on the step stood an old woman. She bent down to the > > old man, > > > and carefully gathered him into her arms and slowly, gently brought > > his frail > > > body into the house, closed the door, and still holding him, sat > > down in her > > > rocking chair by the blazing fireplace. > > > She could easily carry him because he was just barely there, > > just a bag of > > > bones. She held him in her arms, and slowly she began to rock. > > > She rocked, and rocked, and rocked---a long time she rocked, > > holding him, > > > humming softly to herself, rocking in her chair. > > > Another endless time passing, as the old woman held the old man > > and > > > rocked him; as she did so, something strange and wonderful started > > to > > > happen. The old man started to look different as the old woman > > rocked; > > > slowly his hair became more abundant, and his skin less loose; and > > still she > > > rocked. The grayness of his skin began to disappear, and color > > started to > > > appear, and on she rocked; his body became more and more finely > > > muscled,and his hair started to turn golden, and as she rocked on, > > he became > > > younger and younger, soon he was a young man in her arms, and she > > > continued to rock him; after a time, the old woman paused, and > > suddenly, > > > reaching to the young man's head, she quickly pulled out one golden > > hair and > > > threw it onto the stone floor, where it landed, with a ringing > > sound of "ping...!" > > > She continued to rock the young man, and he became younger and > > younger > > > until his was a little boy with a rosy face and golden curls and > > again she > > > stopped, and again she reached and pulled out one single golden > > hair and > > > threw it to the ground where it landed with a "ping...!" > > > She never stopped holding him and rocking him, until one last > > time she > > > pulled out a third golden hair and it too landed on the stone floor > > with the > > > sound of "ping..!" > > > Then, suddenly, the beautiful golden baby boy jumped up out of > > her lap > > > with a joyful laugh, and running to the door, threw it open, and > > ran out into > > > the open sky...... > > > > > > That's the story as I remember it. I can't say exactly why I was > > reminded of it, > > > or if it's a story for you, but there it is. > > > > > > with love to you > > > Nitya > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > , "Latha Nanda" <lathananda> > > > wrote: > > > > It all started with a question :- Why is this happening to me ? > > > > > > > > I look at the people who look serene . How do you do it ? > > > > > > > > They said :- Keep doing this sadhana constantly ... you too will > > come > > > > to love God as much as we do. That will give you the peace that > > you > > > > seek. > > > > > > > > I start and keep doing ... after a while I can fake it no longer. > > I > > > > cannot visualize a loving mother or all-knowing father taking > > care > > > > of me. > > > > > > > > So I ask , you are feeling the love. Why cant I ? > > > > > > > > My question is now : - Why is this not happening to me ? > > > > > > > > They said :- Keep at the Sadhana ... > > > > > > > > I promise :- I WILL keep at it, and polish it and refine it > > and ....KEEP AT IT. > > > > > > > > A calm came over me with the resolution to keep at the sadhana. > > > > > > > > Love will come .... when it has to. > > > > Sponsor > > > > > > > Terms of Service. > > > > > New Photos - easier uploading and sharing ------------------------ Sponsor ---------------------~--> Buy Ink Cartridges or Refill Kits for your HP, Epson, Canon or Lexmark Printer at MyInks.com. Free s/h on orders $50 or more to the US & Canada. http://www.c1tracking.com/l.asp?cid=5511 http://us.click./mOAaAA/3exGAA/qnsNAA/XUWolB/TM ---~-> Your use of is subject to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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