Guest guest Posted January 6, 2004 Report Share Posted January 6, 2004 Dear All, Happy New Year ! Short Story :- Aaaaaah the Power of a Group . Also , so easy to slip back into old ways. Long Story :- Dec 28th : I seem to have a relapse the day after I write the diary. This morning I chanted upto a point and then felt sleepy. So broke off and went to sleep at my altar. Since I am in a temple not in my apt, of course this is noticed by all. The second kindest moderator even throws a flower on my sleeping form with a "Lathananda ki Jai". I feel wretched after the wonderful last week of no breaks. And I wanta feel good and want some "support". So I go to the kitchen, and try to enlist some support for a group Chandi. Not many takers. What about a Group Rudri? A few takers. The loyal Kali and the humble Surath - troopers both of em. We sit together and chant. I try to race thro passages and had to be reminded to slow down a few times. But we finish and we all look happy for having made the effort. Maa even had walked in the middle of our chanting. And Maa LOVES it when her children pray together. So I feel better that my morning wasnt wasted after all. The evening comes and I still have to chant the Chandi. Kali always sits along when I chant. I pounce on the unsuspecting Kiran, promise him gold and riches if only he would sit along with me . He very kindly obliges and we complete the chanting. The second kindest moderator joins us towards the end on his bass and strums along to the sounds of the Arati. Dec 29th :- Surath , Kali and I chanted together the Chandi this morning. Predictably I felt sleepy, but was cheered on by Surath on one side (think of coffee/slap your face if you feel sleepy) and Kali (you can do it) and we sail through with stronger and stronger "Chandi Maa Ki Jais". Maa looked pleased and also coupla times joined our "Chandi Maa Ji Jai". Dec 30th :- Kali goes back (( I chant by myself today. Maa wants to read what we have posted on the forum. So I actually get the privilege of reading aloud my latest diary to her. She just smiles. And she laughed when she heard of me getting up for email breaks "Naughty girl" she sez. Maa is very happy when she hears of some people's resolve to memorize the Chandi , some of the questions from the forum ... Dec 31st :- Tried to chant this morning. Felt sleepy. No motivation. Curl up in front of my altar after Kilakam. Figure I will catch hold of someone to chant with me later today. Not a one taker. Grrrrr. 'Aw Come On", I said. Responses varied from "Too busy", "Not today", "Dont do group stuff" , "Get so and so to do it " to "Dont be so dependent."(HEY! I didnt ask to be called names) . So I start again in the afternoon, progress to the Kavach and thats it , cant go any further. And I know I wont get another chance with all the events for New Years eve. A few people are enthusiastic about chanting together on New Years day. So we plan for an early start and pass the good word around. New Years Day - Jan 1st. My first words to myself this year was not "Happy New Year" but "Chandi Maa Ki Jai". Kiran, Surath and I start this morning and are joined by Lalita soon. We chant two verses to a breath . Maa and Swami walk in the middle of our chanting. We finish the chapter and wish them a Happy New Year. We finish up at 9 . We are happy about the way we have started this year. I go back to my altar and do my Siva Puja and then on an impulse do the Rudri too. I hear a soft step near me and I see Maa. She gives me a sari and tells me that she is pleased with my chanting and wishes me a happy new year. I am so overcome. I hug her and tell her that I need to leave that evening as I had to get back to work the next morning. "I will miss you" she says. Jan 2nd ;- Back at my apartment. And this after nearly two weeks of not moving beyond the temple, kitchen and book room , and only went out once for the xmas party at the Evanses. I never wanted to leave, I was perfectly happy with my routine of the last 2 weeks. Now I have to slip back into my other role ... Life goes on ! Didnt chant today ... no motivation, no impulse and no guilt. Jan 3rd :- Work (yes even if it is the weekend) at the office. Suddenly ,the work clears up and I can take off if I want to . Go home, wear the sari Maa gave me and head to the Mandir for the RK class. I get Maa's blessing. Chant that night at the Mandir and head back home. Did today's quota.... While my spiritual growth is my own solo effort , there is an energy to a group that can be tapped into with very little effort. I have to do a LOT to get the same energy thats available so easily when done casually with another person.... I am happy chanting alone but I LOVE IT when chanting with others. Maa too is very happy when her children pray together. I am sure there must a rational explanation to the group thing (pretty sure that Brian is going to write back about it too ) Love Latha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2004 Report Share Posted January 7, 2004 Ardis, This was really inspiring for me. I am so often wishing to be at Devi Mandir with Maa and Swamiji and the other folks there (having not met any of them in person, yet!). The longing to be "home" is so intense sometimes yet it can be very sweet. I try to remember that if I was supposed to be with them right now I would be. I'm here now living my life (my sadhana) with my husband and kids, teaching yoga, serving as best I can--always remembering Her name. Thank you for your post. Hugs and Love, Lynne - Ardis Jackson Tuesday, January 06, 2004 6:05 PM Re: Diary of a Sankalpa :- Dec 28 03 - Jan 3 04 Thank you Latha Nanda,Your notes remind me of all the wonderful times I spent doing sadhana at the Devi Mandir. As for you, I also lived in the Bay Area and was only able to go up on week-ends or days off from work. I think that when I was at the Mandir, "the heat was on". Being in the home of the Gurus and in the presence of the family, I would feel the heat (tapas). Sometimes it was so intense that I was relieved to leave and drive down the road to my home. I loved my solitary sadhana at home. I loved building my pujas and making them beautiful to the sight and to the ear. Being single, I had "all the time in the world" for sadhana. How blessed I was.Now I live far away from the Mandir. I haven't been there in several years. I did get to see Maa and Swamiji and some members of the family at a Yoga conference in Palm Springs in 2001. That was WONDERFUL !!! I long to be back at the Mandir. Mother willing, I will someday. It will be her timing, not mine.Meanwhile, I am trying to live my spirituality in the world. To give more than I take in my small mountain community. To love without attachment. To see everyone as my child and a member of my family and not just my biological family. To see spiritual principles in action. To keep Maa's list of The Real Wealth of Humanity in my heart and mind.As I mentioned once before, I am ready for a sankalpa. I am ready for a renewal of my sadhana. I am ready to share the lessons of my teachers with my community. If I can spread their Divine Love around this mountain, I will feel tushti.You are in my prayers, Latha. Keep up the good work and continue to share your path with us.Love,Ardis "Latha Nanda" <lathananda > Date: Tue, 06 Jan 2004 15:55:10 -0000To: Subject: Diary of a Sankalpa :- Dec 28 03 - Jan 3 04 Dear All,Happy New Year !Short Story :- Aaaaaah the Power of a Group .. Also , so easy to slip back into old ways.Long Story :- Dec 28th : I seem to have a relapse the day after I write the diary. This morning I chanted upto a point and then felt sleepy. So broke off and went to sleep at my altar. Since I am in a temple not in my apt, of course this is noticed by all. The second kindest moderator even throws a flower on my sleeping form with a "Lathananda ki Jai".I feel wretched after the wonderful last week of no breaks. And I wanta feel good and want some "support". So I go to the kitchen, and try to enlist some support for a group Chandi. Not many takers. What about a Group Rudri? A few takers. The loyal Kali and the humble Surath - troopers both of em. We sit together and chant. I try to race thro passages and had to be reminded to slow down a few times. But we finish and we all look happy for having made the effort. Maa even had walked in the middle of our chanting. And Maa LOVES it when her children pray together.So I feel better that my morning wasnt wasted after all.The evening comes and I still have to chant the Chandi. Kali always sits along when I chant. I pounce on the unsuspecting Kiran, promise him gold and riches if only he would sit along with me .. He very kindly obliges and we complete the chanting. The second kindest moderator joins us towards the end on his bass and strums along to the sounds of the Arati. Dec 29th :- Surath , Kali and I chanted together the Chandi this morning. Predictably I felt sleepy, but was cheered on by Surath on one side (think of coffee/slap your face if you feel sleepy) and Kali (you can do it) and we sail through with stronger and stronger "Chandi Maa Ki Jais". Maa looked pleased and also coupla times joined our "Chandi Maa Ji Jai". Dec 30th :- Kali goes back (( I chant by myself today. Maa wants to read what we have posted on the forum. So I actually get the privilege of reading aloud my latest diary to her. She just smiles. And she laughed when she heard of me getting up for email breaks "Naughty girl" she sez.Maa is very happy when she hears of some people's resolve to memorize the Chandi , some of the questions from the forum ...Dec 31st :- Tried to chant this morning. Felt sleepy. No motivation. Curl up in front of my altar after Kilakam. Figure I will catch hold of someone to chant with me later today.Not a one taker. Grrrrr. 'Aw Come On", I said. Responses varied from "Too busy", "Not today", "Dont do group stuff" , "Get so and so to do it " to "Dont be so dependent."(HEY! I didnt ask to be called names) .So I start again in the afternoon, progress to the Kavach and thats it , cant go any further.And I know I wont get another chance with all the events for New Years eve.A few people are enthusiastic about chanting together on New Years day. So we plan for an early start and pass the good word around.New Years Day - Jan 1st.My first words to myself this year was not "Happy New Year" but "Chandi Maa Ki Jai".Kiran, Surath and I start this morning and are joined by Lalita soon. We chant two verses to a breath . Maa and Swami walk in the middle of our chanting. We finish the chapter and wish them a Happy New Year. We finish up at 9 . We are happy about the way we have started this year.I go back to my altar and do my Siva Puja and then on an impulse do the Rudri too. I hear a soft step near me and I see Maa. She gives me a sari and tells me that she is pleased with my chanting and wishes me a happy new year. I am so overcome. I hug her and tell her that I need to leave that evening as I had to get back to work the next morning. "I will miss you" she says.Jan 2nd ;- Back at my apartment. And this after nearly two weeks of not moving beyond the temple, kitchen and book room , and only went out once for the xmas party at the Evanses. I never wanted to leave, I was perfectly happy with my routine of the last 2 weeks. Now I have to slip back into my other role ... Life goes on !Didnt chant today ... no motivation, no impulse and no guilt.Jan 3rd :- Work (yes even if it is the weekend) at the office. Suddenly ,the work clears up and I can take off if I want to . Go home, wear the sari Maa gave me and head to the Mandir for the RK class.I get Maa's blessing. Chant that night at the Mandir and head back home.Did today's quota....While my spiritual growth is my own solo effort , there is an energy to a group that can be tapped into with very little effort.I have to do a LOT to get the same energy thats available so easily when done casually with another person....I am happy chanting alone but I LOVE IT when chanting with others. Maa too is very happy when her children pray together.I am sure there must a rational explanation to the group thing (pretty sure that Brian is going to write back about it too )LoveLatha / <?subject=Un> Terms of Service <> . To visit your group on the web, go to:/ To from this group, send an email to: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2004 Report Share Posted January 7, 2004 Dear Latha, As usual, I enjoyed reading you diary, and was very happy to be able to chant/follow in the Chandi and Rudri with you for those days. Sadhana with a group energy helps me also, but I know that if I am to achieve my goal, I must continue with or without the group. There is a reason why you took this sankalpa, so my dear Latha hard as it may seem now, please do not think too much on the non-support or breaks, instead find bliss in the gifts received from Mother, a hug, .. a kiss, .. a "Chandi Maa ki jai"!!. Mother loves you, she knows and understands the struggle but relief will come only through constancy. This is divinely explained at post at 1883 from Vishweshwar on "Why do Shiva Puja", some may also find this to be true of Chandi. You mentioned not wishing yourself "a happy New Year" "Instead you wished the Mother within you "Victory" so come on dear sister, you have the power for victory and we ain't about to let you off so easily so get to it. Love always Kali , "Latha Nanda" <lathananda> wrote: > Dear All, > > Happy New Year ! > > Short Story :- Aaaaaah the Power of a Group . Also , so easy to slip > back into old ways. > > Long Story :- > > Dec 28th : I seem to have a relapse the day after I write the diary. > This morning I chanted upto a point and then felt sleepy. So broke > off and went to sleep at my altar. Since I am in a temple not in my > apt, of course this is noticed by all. The second kindest moderator > even throws a flower on my sleeping form with a "Lathananda ki Jai". > > I feel wretched after the wonderful last week of no breaks. And I > wanta feel good and want some "support". So I go to the kitchen, and > try to enlist some support for a group Chandi. > > Not many takers. What about a Group Rudri? A few takers. The loyal > Kali and the humble Surath - troopers both of em. We sit together and > chant. I try to race thro passages and had to be reminded to slow > down a few times. But we finish and we all look happy for having made > the effort. Maa even had walked in the middle of our chanting. And > Maa LOVES it when her children pray together. > > So I feel better that my morning wasnt wasted after all. > > The evening comes and I still have to chant the Chandi. Kali always > sits along when I chant. > > I pounce on the unsuspecting Kiran, promise him gold and riches if > only he would sit along with me . > > He very kindly obliges and we complete the chanting. The second > kindest moderator joins us towards the end on his bass and strums > along to the sounds of the Arati. > > Dec 29th :- > > Surath , Kali and I chanted together the Chandi this morning. > > Predictably I felt sleepy, but was cheered on by Surath on one side > (think of coffee/slap your face if you feel sleepy) and Kali (you can > do it) and we sail through with stronger and stronger "Chandi Maa Ki > Jais". Maa looked pleased and also coupla times joined our "Chandi > Maa Ji Jai". > > Dec 30th :- Kali goes back (( I chant by myself today. > > Maa wants to read what we have posted on the forum. So I actually get > the privilege of reading aloud my latest diary to her. She just > smiles. And she laughed when she heard of me getting up for email > breaks "Naughty girl" she sez. > > Maa is very happy when she hears of some people's resolve to memorize > the Chandi , some of the questions from the forum ... > > Dec 31st :- Tried to chant this morning. Felt sleepy. No motivation. > Curl up in front of my altar after Kilakam. > > Figure I will catch hold of someone to chant with me later today. > > Not a one taker. Grrrrr. > > 'Aw Come On", I said. Responses varied from "Too busy", "Not > today", "Dont do group stuff" , "Get so and so to do it " to "Dont > be so dependent."(HEY! I didnt ask to be called names) . > > So I start again in the afternoon, progress to the Kavach and thats > it , cant go any further. > > And I know I wont get another chance with all the events for New > Years eve. > > A few people are enthusiastic about chanting together on New Years > day. So we plan for an early start and pass the good word around. > > New Years Day - Jan 1st. > > My first words to myself this year was not "Happy New Year" > but "Chandi Maa Ki Jai". > > Kiran, Surath and I start this morning and are joined by Lalita soon. > We chant two verses to a breath . Maa and Swami walk in the middle of > our chanting. We finish the chapter and wish them a Happy New Year. > > We finish up at 9 . We are happy about the way we have started this > year. > > I go back to my altar and do my Siva Puja and then on an impulse do > the Rudri too. I hear a soft step near me and I see Maa. She gives me > a sari and tells me that she is pleased with my chanting and wishes > me a happy new year. I am so overcome. I hug her and tell her that I > need to leave that evening as I had to get back to work the next > morning. > > "I will miss you" she says. > > > Jan 2nd ;- Back at my apartment. And this after nearly two weeks of > not moving beyond the temple, kitchen and book room , and only went > out once for the xmas party at the Evanses. I never wanted to leave, > I was perfectly happy with my routine of the last 2 weeks. Now I have > to slip back into my other role ... Life goes on ! > > Didnt chant today ... no motivation, no impulse and no guilt. > > Jan 3rd :- Work (yes even if it is the weekend) at the office. > Suddenly ,the work clears up and I can take off if I want to . Go > home, wear the sari Maa gave me and head to the Mandir for the RK > class. > > I get Maa's blessing. Chant that night at the Mandir and head back > home. > > Did today's quota.... > > > While my spiritual growth is my own solo effort , there is an energy > to a group that can be tapped into with very little effort. > > I have to do a LOT to get the same energy thats available so easily > when done casually with another person.... > > I am happy chanting alone but I LOVE IT when chanting with others. > Maa too is very happy when her children pray together. > > I am sure there must a rational explanation to the group thing > (pretty sure that Brian is going to write back about it too ) > > Love > Latha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2004 Report Share Posted January 7, 2004 Dear Lynne, Thanks so much for your response. I put a lot into my posts and it is a little disappointing when no one (or only one or two) responds. I certainly know what you mean about the longing to be "home". Once I was badly injured in an automobile accident and I had to stay away from the Mandir for several months of healing. The first time I went back, I entered the temple. When I saw the altar, I danced around and around saying "I'm home. I'm home." Maa was there. At first she looked sort of surprised at this demonstration. Then she smiled. I am a very demonstrative person. I chant and sing loudly. Swamiji says that I never do anything part way. Once shortly after I started coming to the Mandir, Maa looked at me and said "I liked it better in Martinez when everyone was quiet." But I can't help myself... when the bhav gets going, it has a life of its own. Once we were singing Ramakrishna saranam. We always started satsang with it. I was singing loudly as usual and shaking a tambourine and Swamiji looked at me and said "but Ardis, we are requesting to take refuge." I think that I always sang it as though to say "Ramakrishna, I AM taking refuge in you." I love that song and I love Ramakrishna. So, Lynne, my dear. Live and love and do your sadhana. Enjoy the blessing that is life. I pray that someday you will get to go home to the Mandir and experience the delight of being with our Divine Teachers. Ardis "Lynne McKinnon" <omgirl (AT) patmedia (DOT) net> Wed, 7 Jan 2004 08:59:52 -0500 <> Re: Diary of a Sankalpa :- Dec 28 03 - Jan 3 04 Ardis, This was really inspiring for me. I am so often wishing to be at Devi Mandir with Maa and Swamiji and the other folks there (having not met any of them in person, yet!). The longing to be "home" is so intense sometimes yet it can be very sweet. I try to remember that if I was supposed to be with them right now I would be. I'm here now living my life (my sadhana) with my husband and kids, teaching yoga, serving as best I can--always remembering Her name. Thank you for your post. Hugs and Love, Lynne - Ardis Jackson <anandamama (AT) earthlink (DOT) net> Tuesday, January 06, 2004 6:05 PM Re: Diary of a Sankalpa :- Dec 28 03 - Jan 3 04 Thank you Latha Nanda, Your notes remind me of all the wonderful times I spent doing sadhana at the Devi Mandir. As for you, I also lived in the Bay Area and was only able to go up on week-ends or days off from work. I think that when I was at the Mandir, "the heat was on". Being in the home of the Gurus and in the presence of the family, I would feel the heat (tapas). Sometimes it was so intense that I was relieved to leave and drive down the road to my home. I loved my solitary sadhana at home. I loved building my pujas and making them beautiful to the sight and to the ear. Being single, I had "all the time in the world" for sadhana. How blessed I was. Now I live far away from the Mandir. I haven't been there in several years. I did get to see Maa and Swamiji and some members of the family at a Yoga conference in Palm Springs in 2001. That was WONDERFUL !!! I long to be back at the Mandir. Mother willing, I will someday. It will be her timing, not mine. Meanwhile, I am trying to live my spirituality in the world. To give more than I take in my small mountain community. To love without attachment. To see everyone as my child and a member of my family and not just my biological family. To see spiritual principles in action. To keep Maa's list of The Real Wealth of Humanity in my heart and mind. As I mentioned once before, I am ready for a sankalpa. I am ready for a renewal of my sadhana. I am ready to share the lessons of my teachers with my community. If I can spread their Divine Love around this mountain, I will feel tushti. You are in my prayers, Latha. Keep up the good work and continue to share your path with us. Love, Ardis "Latha Nanda" <lathananda > Tue, 06 Jan 2004 15:55:10 -0000 Diary of a Sankalpa :- Dec 28 03 - Jan 3 04 Dear All, Happy New Year ! Short Story :- Aaaaaah the Power of a Group . Also , so easy to slip back into old ways. Long Story :- Dec 28th : I seem to have a relapse the day after I write the diary. This morning I chanted upto a point and then felt sleepy. So broke off and went to sleep at my altar. Since I am in a temple not in my apt, of course this is noticed by all. The second kindest moderator even throws a flower on my sleeping form with a "Lathananda ki Jai". I feel wretched after the wonderful last week of no breaks. And I wanta feel good and want some "support". So I go to the kitchen, and try to enlist some support for a group Chandi. Not many takers. What about a Group Rudri? A few takers. The loyal Kali and the humble Surath - troopers both of em. We sit together and chant. I try to race thro passages and had to be reminded to slow down a few times. But we finish and we all look happy for having made the effort. Maa even had walked in the middle of our chanting. And Maa LOVES it when her children pray together. So I feel better that my morning wasnt wasted after all. The evening comes and I still have to chant the Chandi. Kali always sits along when I chant. I pounce on the unsuspecting Kiran, promise him gold and riches if only he would sit along with me . He very kindly obliges and we complete the chanting. The second kindest moderator joins us towards the end on his bass and strums along to the sounds of the Arati. Dec 29th :- Surath , Kali and I chanted together the Chandi this morning. Predictably I felt sleepy, but was cheered on by Surath on one side (think of coffee/slap your face if you feel sleepy) and Kali (you can do it) and we sail through with stronger and stronger "Chandi Maa Ki Jais". Maa looked pleased and also coupla times joined our "Chandi Maa Ji Jai". Dec 30th :- Kali goes back (( I chant by myself today. Maa wants to read what we have posted on the forum. So I actually get the privilege of reading aloud my latest diary to her. She just smiles. And she laughed when she heard of me getting up for email breaks "Naughty girl" she sez. Maa is very happy when she hears of some people's resolve to memorize the Chandi , some of the questions from the forum ... Dec 31st :- Tried to chant this morning. Felt sleepy. No motivation. Curl up in front of my altar after Kilakam. Figure I will catch hold of someone to chant with me later today. Not a one taker. Grrrrr. 'Aw Come On", I said. Responses varied from "Too busy", "Not today", "Dont do group stuff" , "Get so and so to do it " to "Dont be so dependent."(HEY! I didnt ask to be called names) . So I start again in the afternoon, progress to the Kavach and thats it , cant go any further. And I know I wont get another chance with all the events for New Years eve. A few people are enthusiastic about chanting together on New Years day. So we plan for an early start and pass the good word around. New Years Day - Jan 1st. My first words to myself this year was not "Happy New Year" but "Chandi Maa Ki Jai". Kiran, Surath and I start this morning and are joined by Lalita soon. We chant two verses to a breath . Maa and Swami walk in the middle of our chanting. We finish the chapter and wish them a Happy New Year. We finish up at 9 . We are happy about the way we have started this year. I go back to my altar and do my Siva Puja and then on an impulse do the Rudri too. I hear a soft step near me and I see Maa. She gives me a sari and tells me that she is pleased with my chanting and wishes me a happy new year. I am so overcome. I hug her and tell her that I need to leave that evening as I had to get back to work the next morning. "I will miss you" she says. Jan 2nd ;- Back at my apartment. And this after nearly two weeks of not moving beyond the temple, kitchen and book room , and only went out once for the xmas party at the Evanses. I never wanted to leave, I was perfectly happy with my routine of the last 2 weeks. Now I have to slip back into my other role ... Life goes on ! Didnt chant today ... no motivation, no impulse and no guilt. Jan 3rd :- Work (yes even if it is the weekend) at the office. Suddenly ,the work clears up and I can take off if I want to . Go home, wear the sari Maa gave me and head to the Mandir for the RK class. I get Maa's blessing. Chant that night at the Mandir and head back home. Did today's quota.... While my spiritual growth is my own solo effort , there is an energy to a group that can be tapped into with very little effort. I have to do a LOT to get the same energy thats available so easily when done casually with another person.... I am happy chanting alone but I LOVE IT when chanting with others. Maa too is very happy when her children pray together. I am sure there must a rational explanation to the group thing (pretty sure that Brian is going to write back about it too ) Love Latha / <?subject=Un> Terms of Service <> . / <?subject=Un> Terms of Service <> . / <?subject=Un> Terms of Service <> . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2004 Report Share Posted January 7, 2004 Dear Ardis, Just wanted you to know that I too appreciate what you are sharing. I am new to this group and to Shree Maa, but not to Ramakrishna. I have met Shree Maa in my dream state, but not yet in the waking state. It is a great help to read other peoples experiences and blisses and struggles. One of the things I have noticed is that questions I have had are answered on this list without my asking them. For example, I was wondering if anyone worships Shree Maa with puja, and the next day, there was that wonderful post about the Shree Maa/Durga puja. I like the synchronicity, the growing interconnectedness I feel with this sangha. Your post tells me that it is safe for you to be yourself in this sangha. Do you have the words to Ramakrishna saranam? I think this is on the video and I'd love to sing along. All the homesickness I feel, and I have always longed for God, is in Shree Maa's voice...She sings my heart. Maureen - Ardis Jackson Wednesday, January 07, 2004 4:48 PM Re: Diary of a Sankalpa :- Dec 28 03 - Jan 3 04 Dear Lynne,Thanks so much for your response. I put a lot into my posts and it is a little disappointing when no one (or only one or two) responds.I certainly know what you mean about the longing to be "home". Once I was badly injured in an automobile accident and I had to stay away from the Mandir for several months of healing. The first time I went back, I entered the temple. When I saw the altar, I danced around and around saying "I'm home. I'm home." Maa was there. At first she looked sort of surprised at this demonstration. Then she smiled.I am a very demonstrative person. I chant and sing loudly. Swamiji says that I never do anything part way. Once shortly after I started coming to the Mandir, Maa looked at me and said "I liked it better in Martinez when everyone was quiet." But I can't help myself... when the bhav gets going, it has a life of its own. Once we were singing Ramakrishna saranam. We always started satsang with it. I was singing loudly as usual and shaking a tambourine and Swamiji looked at me and said "but Ardis, we are requesting to take refuge." I think that I always sang it as though to say "Ramakrishna, I AM taking refuge in you." I love that song and I love Ramakrishna.So, Lynne, my dear. Live and love and do your sadhana. Enjoy the blessing that is life. I pray that someday you will get to go home to the Mandir and experience the delight of being with our Divine Teachers.Ardis "Lynne McKinnon" <omgirl (AT) patmedia (DOT) net> Date: Wed, 7 Jan 2004 08:59:52 -0500To: <>Re: Diary of a Sankalpa :- Dec 28 03 - Jan 3 04 Ardis,This was really inspiring for me. I am so often wishing to be at Devi Mandir with Maa and Swamiji and the other folks there (having not met any of them in person, yet!). The longing to be "home" is so intense sometimes yet it can be very sweet. I try to remember that if I was supposed to be with them right now I would be. I'm here now living my life (my sadhana) with my husband and kids, teaching yoga, serving as best I can--always remembering Her name. Thank you for your post.Hugs and Love,Lynne - Ardis Jackson <anandamama (AT) earthlink (DOT) net> Tuesday, January 06, 2004 6:05 PMRe: Diary of a Sankalpa :- Dec 28 03 - Jan 3 04Thank you Latha Nanda,Your notes remind me of all the wonderful times I spent doing sadhana at the Devi Mandir. As for you, I also lived in the Bay Area and was only able to go up on week-ends or days off from work. I think that when I was at the Mandir, "the heat was on". Being in the home of the Gurus and in the presence of the family, I would feel the heat (tapas). Sometimes it was so intense that I was relieved to leave and drive down the road to my home. I loved my solitary sadhana at home. I loved building my pujas and making them beautiful to the sight and to the ear. Being single, I had "all the time in the world" for sadhana. How blessed I was.Now I live far away from the Mandir. I haven't been there in several years. I did get to see Maa and Swamiji and some members of the family at a Yoga conference in Palm Springs in 2001. That was WONDERFUL !!! I long to be back at the Mandir. Mother willing, I will someday. It will be her timing, not mine.Meanwhile, I am trying to live my spirituality in the world. To give more than I take in my small mountain community. To love without attachment. To see everyone as my child and a member of my family and not just my biological family. To see spiritual principles in action. To keep Maa's list of The Real Wealth of Humanity in my heart and mind.As I mentioned once before, I am ready for a sankalpa. I am ready for a renewal of my sadhana. I am ready to share the lessons of my teachers with my community. If I can spread their Divine Love around this mountain, I will feel tushti.You are in my prayers, Latha. Keep up the good work and continue to share your path with us.Love,Ardis "Latha Nanda" <lathananda > Date: Tue, 06 Jan 2004 15:55:10 -0000To: Subject: Diary of a Sankalpa :- Dec 28 03 - Jan 3 04 Dear All,Happy New Year !Short Story :- Aaaaaah the Power of a Group .. Also , so easy to slip back into old ways.Long Story :- Dec 28th : I seem to have a relapse the day after I write the diary. This morning I chanted upto a point and then felt sleepy. So broke off and went to sleep at my altar. Since I am in a temple not in my apt, of course this is noticed by all. The second kindest moderator even throws a flower on my sleeping form with a "Lathananda ki Jai".I feel wretched after the wonderful last week of no breaks. And I wanta feel good and want some "support". So I go to the kitchen, and try to enlist some support for a group Chandi. Not many takers. What about a Group Rudri? A few takers. The loyal Kali and the humble Surath - troopers both of em. We sit together and chant. I try to race thro passages and had to be reminded to slow down a few times. But we finish and we all look happy for having made the effort. Maa even had walked in the middle of our chanting. And Maa LOVES it when her children pray together.So I feel better that my morning wasnt wasted after all.The evening comes and I still have to chant the Chandi. Kali always sits along when I chant. I pounce on the unsuspecting Kiran, promise him gold and riches if only he would sit along with me .. He very kindly obliges and we complete the chanting. The second kindest moderator joins us towards the end on his bass and strums along to the sounds of the Arati. Dec 29th :- Surath , Kali and I chanted together the Chandi this morning. Predictably I felt sleepy, but was cheered on by Surath on one side (think of coffee/slap your face if you feel sleepy) and Kali (you can do it) and we sail through with stronger and stronger "Chandi Maa Ki Jais". Maa looked pleased and also coupla times joined our "Chandi Maa Ji Jai". Dec 30th :- Kali goes back (( I chant by myself today. Maa wants to read what we have posted on the forum. So I actually get the privilege of reading aloud my latest diary to her. She just smiles. And she laughed when she heard of me getting up for email breaks "Naughty girl" she sez.Maa is very happy when she hears of some people's resolve to memorize the Chandi , some of the questions from the forum ...Dec 31st :- Tried to chant this morning. Felt sleepy. No motivation. Curl up in front of my altar after Kilakam. Figure I will catch hold of someone to chant with me later today.Not a one taker. Grrrrr. 'Aw Come On", I said. Responses varied from "Too busy", "Not today", "Dont do group stuff" , "Get so and so to do it " to "Dont be so dependent."(HEY! I didnt ask to be called names) .So I start again in the afternoon, progress to the Kavach and thats it , cant go any further.And I know I wont get another chance with all the events for New Years eve.A few people are enthusiastic about chanting together on New Years day. So we plan for an early start and pass the good word around.New Years Day - Jan 1st.My first words to myself this year was not "Happy New Year" but "Chandi Maa Ki Jai".Kiran, Surath and I start this morning and are joined by Lalita soon. We chant two verses to a breath . Maa and Swami walk in the middle of our chanting. We finish the chapter and wish them a Happy New Year. We finish up at 9 . We are happy about the way we have started this year.I go back to my altar and do my Siva Puja and then on an impulse do the Rudri too. I hear a soft step near me and I see Maa. She gives me a sari and tells me that she is pleased with my chanting and wishes me a happy new year. I am so overcome. I hug her and tell her that I need to leave that evening as I had to get back to work the next morning. "I will miss you" she says.Jan 2nd ;- Back at my apartment. And this after nearly two weeks of not moving beyond the temple, kitchen and book room , and only went out once for the xmas party at the Evanses. I never wanted to leave, I was perfectly happy with my routine of the last 2 weeks. Now I have to slip back into my other role ... Life goes on !Didnt chant today ... no motivation, no impulse and no guilt.Jan 3rd :- Work (yes even if it is the weekend) at the office. Suddenly ,the work clears up and I can take off if I want to . Go home, wear the sari Maa gave me and head to the Mandir for the RK class.I get Maa's blessing. Chant that night at the Mandir and head back home.Did today's quota....While my spiritual growth is my own solo effort , there is an energy to a group that can be tapped into with very little effort.I have to do a LOT to get the same energy thats available so easily when done casually with another person....I am happy chanting alone but I LOVE IT when chanting with others. Maa too is very happy when her children pray together.I am sure there must a rational explanation to the group thing (pretty sure that Brian is going to write back about it too )LoveLatha / <?subject=Un> Terms of Service <> . / To from this group, send an email to: <?subject=Un> Terms of Service <> . / <?subject=Un> Terms of Service <> . To visit your group on the web, go to:/ To from this group, send an email to: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2004 Report Share Posted January 8, 2004 Hi Maureen, Thanks for writing. Keep on singing with Shree Maa and chanting with Swamiji and Maa. Here are the words for the song I mentioned. Ramakrishna sharanyam, Ramakrishna sharanyam, Ramakrishna sharanyam. Sharanye. (2x) (I take refuge in Ramakrishna, I take refuge in Ramakrishna, I take refuge in Ramakrishna, I take refuge.) Guru sharanaa gataaham, sharanaa gataaham, sharanaa gataaham, sharanaa gataaham, sharanaa gataaham. Sharanye. (The guru gives me refuge, he gives me refuge, he gives me refuge, he gives me refuge, he gives me refuge. I take refuge) Guru kripaa hi kevalam, kripaa hi kevalam, kripaa hi kevalam, kripaa hi kevalam, kripaa hi kevalam. Sharanye. (The guru gives me his (her) grace. The guru gives me his (her) grace. The guru gives me his (her) grace. The guru gives me his (her) grace. The guru gives me his (her) grace. I take refuge.) (Swamiji defines grace as "what you do is what you get". The guru gives you the fruit of your actions.) Jay Jay Ramakrishna. Jay Jay Ramakrishna. Jay Jay Ramakrishna. Jay Jay Maa. Jay Jay Ramakrishna. Jay Jay Ramakrishna. Jay Jay Ramakrishna. Jay Jay Maa. Jai Maa Jai Maa Jai Maa Jai Maaaaa. Jai Maa Jai Maa Jai Maa Jai....Maa !! Repeat last line for as many hours as you wish ! Then return to : Ramakrishna sharanyam. (You have got to picture Swamiji playing the harmonium and singing his heart out and literally bouncing up and down with bhav. What an inspiration!) Since I have never seen a translation of this song, I am giving you my intuitive understanding of the lyrics. It may be(and probably is) not an accurate translation. But I share it with love, Ardis "Maureen Nielson" <mnielson (AT) netins (DOT) net> Wed, 7 Jan 2004 18:40:31 -0600 <> Re: Diary of a Sankalpa :- Dec 28 03 - Jan 3 04 Dear Ardis, Just wanted you to know that I too appreciate what you are sharing. I am new to this group and to Shree Maa, but not to Ramakrishna. I have met Shree Maa in my dream state, but not yet in the waking state. It is a great help to read other peoples experiences and blisses and struggles. One of the things I have noticed is that questions I have had are answered on this list without my asking them. For example, I was wondering if anyone worships Shree Maa with puja, and the next day, there was that wonderful post about the Shree Maa/Durga puja. I like the synchronicity, the growing interconnectedness I feel with this sangha. Your post tells me that it is safe for you to be yourself in this sangha. Do you have the words to Ramakrishna saranam? I think this is on the video and I'd love to sing along. All the homesickness I feel, and I have always longed for God, is in Shree Maa's voice...She sings my heart. Maureen - Ardis Jackson <anandamama (AT) earthlink (DOT) net> Wednesday, January 07, 2004 4:48 PM Re: Diary of a Sankalpa :- Dec 28 03 - Jan 3 04 Dear Lynne, Thanks so much for your response. I put a lot into my posts and it is a little disappointing when no one (or only one or two) responds. I certainly know what you mean about the longing to be "home". Once I was badly injured in an automobile accident and I had to stay away from the Mandir for several months of healing. The first time I went back, I entered the temple. When I saw the altar, I danced around and around saying "I'm home. I'm home." Maa was there. At first she looked sort of surprised at this demonstration. Then she smiled. I am a very demonstrative person. I chant and sing loudly. Swamiji says that I never do anything part way. Once shortly after I started coming to the Mandir, Maa looked at me and said "I liked it better in Martinez when everyone was quiet." But I can't help myself... when the bhav gets going, it has a life of its own. Once we were singing Ramakrishna saranam. We always started satsang with it. I was singing loudly as usual and shaking a tambourine and Swamiji looked at me and said "but Ardis, we are requesting to take refuge." I think that I always sang it as though to say "Ramakrishna, I AM taking refuge in you." I love that song and I love Ramakrishna. So, Lynne, my dear. Live and love and do your sadhana. Enjoy the blessing that is life. I pray that someday you will get to go home to the Mandir and experience the delight of being with our Divine Teachers. Ardis "Lynne McKinnon" <omgirl (AT) patmedia (DOT) net> Wed, 7 Jan 2004 08:59:52 -0500 <> Re: Diary of a Sankalpa :- Dec 28 03 - Jan 3 04 Ardis, This was really inspiring for me. I am so often wishing to be at Devi Mandir with Maa and Swamiji and the other folks there (having not met any of them in person, yet!). The longing to be "home" is so intense sometimes yet it can be very sweet. I try to remember that if I was supposed to be with them right now I would be. I'm here now living my life (my sadhana) with my husband and kids, teaching yoga, serving as best I can--always remembering Her name. Thank you for your post. Hugs and Love, Lynne - Ardis Jackson <anandamama (AT) earthlink (DOT) net> Tuesday, January 06, 2004 6:05 PM Re: Diary of a Sankalpa :- Dec 28 03 - Jan 3 04 Thank you Latha Nanda, Your notes remind me of all the wonderful times I spent doing sadhana at the Devi Mandir. As for you, I also lived in the Bay Area and was only able to go up on week-ends or days off from work. I think that when I was at the Mandir, "the heat was on". Being in the home of the Gurus and in the presence of the family, I would feel the heat (tapas). Sometimes it was so intense that I was relieved to leave and drive down the road to my home. I loved my solitary sadhana at home. I loved building my pujas and making them beautiful to the sight and to the ear. Being single, I had "all the time in the world" for sadhana. How blessed I was. Now I live far away from the Mandir. I haven't been there in several years. I did get to see Maa and Swamiji and some members of the family at a Yoga conference in Palm Springs in 2001. That was WONDERFUL !!! I long to be back at the Mandir. Mother willing, I will someday. It will be her timing, not mine. Meanwhile, I am trying to live my spirituality in the world. To give more than I take in my small mountain community. To love without attachment. To see everyone as my child and a member of my family and not just my biological family. To see spiritual principles in action. To keep Maa's list of The Real Wealth of Humanity in my heart and mind. As I mentioned once before, I am ready for a sankalpa. I am ready for a renewal of my sadhana. I am ready to share the lessons of my teachers with my community. If I can spread their Divine Love around this mountain, I will feel tushti. You are in my prayers, Latha. Keep up the good work and continue to share your path with us. Love, Ardis "Latha Nanda" <lathananda > Tue, 06 Jan 2004 15:55:10 -0000 Diary of a Sankalpa :- Dec 28 03 - Jan 3 04 Dear All, Happy New Year ! Short Story :- Aaaaaah the Power of a Group . Also , so easy to slip back into old ways. Long Story :- Dec 28th : I seem to have a relapse the day after I write the diary. This morning I chanted upto a point and then felt sleepy. So broke off and went to sleep at my altar. Since I am in a temple not in my apt, of course this is noticed by all. The second kindest moderator even throws a flower on my sleeping form with a "Lathananda ki Jai". I feel wretched after the wonderful last week of no breaks. And I wanta feel good and want some "support". So I go to the kitchen, and try to enlist some support for a group Chandi. Not many takers. What about a Group Rudri? A few takers. The loyal Kali and the humble Surath - troopers both of em. We sit together and chant. I try to race thro passages and had to be reminded to slow down a few times. But we finish and we all look happy for having made the effort. Maa even had walked in the middle of our chanting. And Maa LOVES it when her children pray together. So I feel better that my morning wasnt wasted after all. The evening comes and I still have to chant the Chandi. Kali always sits along when I chant. I pounce on the unsuspecting Kiran, promise him gold and riches if only he would sit along with me . He very kindly obliges and we complete the chanting. The second kindest moderator joins us towards the end on his bass and strums along to the sounds of the Arati. Dec 29th :- Surath , Kali and I chanted together the Chandi this morning. Predictably I felt sleepy, but was cheered on by Surath on one side (think of coffee/slap your face if you feel sleepy) and Kali (you can do it) and we sail through with stronger and stronger "Chandi Maa Ki Jais". Maa looked pleased and also coupla times joined our "Chandi Maa Ji Jai". Dec 30th :- Kali goes back (( I chant by myself today. Maa wants to read what we have posted on the forum. So I actually get the privilege of reading aloud my latest diary to her. She just smiles. And she laughed when she heard of me getting up for email breaks "Naughty girl" she sez. Maa is very happy when she hears of some people's resolve to memorize the Chandi , some of the questions from the forum ... Dec 31st :- Tried to chant this morning. Felt sleepy. No motivation. Curl up in front of my altar after Kilakam. Figure I will catch hold of someone to chant with me later today. Not a one taker. Grrrrr. 'Aw Come On", I said. Responses varied from "Too busy", "Not today", "Dont do group stuff" , "Get so and so to do it " to "Dont be so dependent."(HEY! I didnt ask to be called names) . So I start again in the afternoon, progress to the Kavach and thats it , cant go any further. And I know I wont get another chance with all the events for New Years eve. A few people are enthusiastic about chanting together on New Years day. So we plan for an early start and pass the good word around. New Years Day - Jan 1st. My first words to myself this year was not "Happy New Year" but "Chandi Maa Ki Jai". Kiran, Surath and I start this morning and are joined by Lalita soon. We chant two verses to a breath . Maa and Swami walk in the middle of our chanting. We finish the chapter and wish them a Happy New Year. We finish up at 9 . We are happy about the way we have started this year. I go back to my altar and do my Siva Puja and then on an impulse do the Rudri too. I hear a soft step near me and I see Maa. She gives me a sari and tells me that she is pleased with my chanting and wishes me a happy new year. I am so overcome. I hug her and tell her that I need to leave that evening as I had to get back to work the next morning. "I will miss you" she says. Jan 2nd ;- Back at my apartment. And this after nearly two weeks of not moving beyond the temple, kitchen and book room , and only went out once for the xmas party at the Evanses. I never wanted to leave, I was perfectly happy with my routine of the last 2 weeks. Now I have to slip back into my other role ... Life goes on ! Didnt chant today ... no motivation, no impulse and no guilt. Jan 3rd :- Work (yes even if it is the weekend) at the office. Suddenly ,the work clears up and I can take off if I want to . Go home, wear the sari Maa gave me and head to the Mandir for the RK class. I get Maa's blessing. Chant that night at the Mandir and head back home. Did today's quota.... While my spiritual growth is my own solo effort , there is an energy to a group that can be tapped into with very little effort. I have to do a LOT to get the same energy thats available so easily when done casually with another person.... I am happy chanting alone but I LOVE IT when chanting with others. Maa too is very happy when her children pray together. I am sure there must a rational explanation to the group thing (pretty sure that Brian is going to write back about it too ) Love Latha / <?subject=Un> Terms of Service <> . / To from this group, send an email to: <?subject=Un> Terms of Service <> . / <?subject=Un> Terms of Service <> . / <?subject=Un> Terms of Service <> . / <?subject=Un> Terms of Service <> . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2004 Report Share Posted January 8, 2004 When you mention that Shree Maa sings your heart, it reminds me of the first time that I met her. I told her that I had heard that she was from Assam. She thumped me quite hard on the chest over my heart chakra and said "I come from here". "Maureen Nielson" <mnielson (AT) netins (DOT) net> Wed, 7 Jan 2004 18:40:31 -0600 <> Re: Diary of a Sankalpa :- Dec 28 03 - Jan 3 04 Dear Ardis, Just wanted you to know that I too appreciate what you are sharing. I am new to this group and to Shree Maa, but not to Ramakrishna. I have met Shree Maa in my dream state, but not yet in the waking state. It is a great help to read other peoples experiences and blisses and struggles. One of the things I have noticed is that questions I have had are answered on this list without my asking them. For example, I was wondering if anyone worships Shree Maa with puja, and the next day, there was that wonderful post about the Shree Maa/Durga puja. I like the synchronicity, the growing interconnectedness I feel with this sangha. Your post tells me that it is safe for you to be yourself in this sangha. Do you have the words to Ramakrishna saranam? I think this is on the video and I'd love to sing along. All the homesickness I feel, and I have always longed for God, is in Shree Maa's voice...She sings my heart. Maureen - Ardis Jackson <anandamama (AT) earthlink (DOT) net> Wednesday, January 07, 2004 4:48 PM Re: Diary of a Sankalpa :- Dec 28 03 - Jan 3 04 Dear Lynne, Thanks so much for your response. I put a lot into my posts and it is a little disappointing when no one (or only one or two) responds. I certainly know what you mean about the longing to be "home". Once I was badly injured in an automobile accident and I had to stay away from the Mandir for several months of healing. The first time I went back, I entered the temple. When I saw the altar, I danced around and around saying "I'm home. I'm home." Maa was there. At first she looked sort of surprised at this demonstration. Then she smiled. I am a very demonstrative person. I chant and sing loudly. Swamiji says that I never do anything part way. Once shortly after I started coming to the Mandir, Maa looked at me and said "I liked it better in Martinez when everyone was quiet." But I can't help myself... when the bhav gets going, it has a life of its own. Once we were singing Ramakrishna saranam. We always started satsang with it. I was singing loudly as usual and shaking a tambourine and Swamiji looked at me and said "but Ardis, we are requesting to take refuge." I think that I always sang it as though to say "Ramakrishna, I AM taking refuge in you." I love that song and I love Ramakrishna. So, Lynne, my dear. Live and love and do your sadhana. Enjoy the blessing that is life. I pray that someday you will get to go home to the Mandir and experience the delight of being with our Divine Teachers. Ardis "Lynne McKinnon" <omgirl (AT) patmedia (DOT) net> Wed, 7 Jan 2004 08:59:52 -0500 <> Re: Diary of a Sankalpa :- Dec 28 03 - Jan 3 04 Ardis, This was really inspiring for me. I am so often wishing to be at Devi Mandir with Maa and Swamiji and the other folks there (having not met any of them in person, yet!). The longing to be "home" is so intense sometimes yet it can be very sweet. I try to remember that if I was supposed to be with them right now I would be. I'm here now living my life (my sadhana) with my husband and kids, teaching yoga, serving as best I can--always remembering Her name. Thank you for your post. Hugs and Love, Lynne - Ardis Jackson <anandamama (AT) earthlink (DOT) net> Tuesday, January 06, 2004 6:05 PM Re: Diary of a Sankalpa :- Dec 28 03 - Jan 3 04 Thank you Latha Nanda, Your notes remind me of all the wonderful times I spent doing sadhana at the Devi Mandir. As for you, I also lived in the Bay Area and was only able to go up on week-ends or days off from work. I think that when I was at the Mandir, "the heat was on". Being in the home of the Gurus and in the presence of the family, I would feel the heat (tapas). Sometimes it was so intense that I was relieved to leave and drive down the road to my home. I loved my solitary sadhana at home. I loved building my pujas and making them beautiful to the sight and to the ear. Being single, I had "all the time in the world" for sadhana. How blessed I was. Now I live far away from the Mandir. I haven't been there in several years. I did get to see Maa and Swamiji and some members of the family at a Yoga conference in Palm Springs in 2001. That was WONDERFUL !!! I long to be back at the Mandir. Mother willing, I will someday. It will be her timing, not mine. Meanwhile, I am trying to live my spirituality in the world. To give more than I take in my small mountain community. To love without attachment. To see everyone as my child and a member of my family and not just my biological family. To see spiritual principles in action. To keep Maa's list of The Real Wealth of Humanity in my heart and mind. As I mentioned once before, I am ready for a sankalpa. I am ready for a renewal of my sadhana. I am ready to share the lessons of my teachers with my community. If I can spread their Divine Love around this mountain, I will feel tushti. You are in my prayers, Latha. Keep up the good work and continue to share your path with us. Love, Ardis "Latha Nanda" <lathananda > Tue, 06 Jan 2004 15:55:10 -0000 Diary of a Sankalpa :- Dec 28 03 - Jan 3 04 Dear All, Happy New Year ! Short Story :- Aaaaaah the Power of a Group . Also , so easy to slip back into old ways. Long Story :- Dec 28th : I seem to have a relapse the day after I write the diary. This morning I chanted upto a point and then felt sleepy. So broke off and went to sleep at my altar. Since I am in a temple not in my apt, of course this is noticed by all. The second kindest moderator even throws a flower on my sleeping form with a "Lathananda ki Jai". I feel wretched after the wonderful last week of no breaks. And I wanta feel good and want some "support". So I go to the kitchen, and try to enlist some support for a group Chandi. Not many takers. What about a Group Rudri? A few takers. The loyal Kali and the humble Surath - troopers both of em. We sit together and chant. I try to race thro passages and had to be reminded to slow down a few times. But we finish and we all look happy for having made the effort. Maa even had walked in the middle of our chanting. And Maa LOVES it when her children pray together. So I feel better that my morning wasnt wasted after all. The evening comes and I still have to chant the Chandi. Kali always sits along when I chant. I pounce on the unsuspecting Kiran, promise him gold and riches if only he would sit along with me . He very kindly obliges and we complete the chanting. The second kindest moderator joins us towards the end on his bass and strums along to the sounds of the Arati. Dec 29th :- Surath , Kali and I chanted together the Chandi this morning. Predictably I felt sleepy, but was cheered on by Surath on one side (think of coffee/slap your face if you feel sleepy) and Kali (you can do it) and we sail through with stronger and stronger "Chandi Maa Ki Jais". Maa looked pleased and also coupla times joined our "Chandi Maa Ji Jai". Dec 30th :- Kali goes back (( I chant by myself today. Maa wants to read what we have posted on the forum. So I actually get the privilege of reading aloud my latest diary to her. She just smiles. And she laughed when she heard of me getting up for email breaks "Naughty girl" she sez. Maa is very happy when she hears of some people's resolve to memorize the Chandi , some of the questions from the forum ... Dec 31st :- Tried to chant this morning. Felt sleepy. No motivation. Curl up in front of my altar after Kilakam. Figure I will catch hold of someone to chant with me later today. Not a one taker. Grrrrr. 'Aw Come On", I said. Responses varied from "Too busy", "Not today", "Dont do group stuff" , "Get so and so to do it " to "Dont be so dependent."(HEY! I didnt ask to be called names) . So I start again in the afternoon, progress to the Kavach and thats it , cant go any further. And I know I wont get another chance with all the events for New Years eve. A few people are enthusiastic about chanting together on New Years day. So we plan for an early start and pass the good word around. New Years Day - Jan 1st. My first words to myself this year was not "Happy New Year" but "Chandi Maa Ki Jai". Kiran, Surath and I start this morning and are joined by Lalita soon. We chant two verses to a breath . Maa and Swami walk in the middle of our chanting. We finish the chapter and wish them a Happy New Year. We finish up at 9 . We are happy about the way we have started this year. I go back to my altar and do my Siva Puja and then on an impulse do the Rudri too. I hear a soft step near me and I see Maa. She gives me a sari and tells me that she is pleased with my chanting and wishes me a happy new year. I am so overcome. I hug her and tell her that I need to leave that evening as I had to get back to work the next morning. "I will miss you" she says. Jan 2nd ;- Back at my apartment. And this after nearly two weeks of not moving beyond the temple, kitchen and book room , and only went out once for the xmas party at the Evanses. I never wanted to leave, I was perfectly happy with my routine of the last 2 weeks. Now I have to slip back into my other role ... Life goes on ! Didnt chant today ... no motivation, no impulse and no guilt. Jan 3rd :- Work (yes even if it is the weekend) at the office. Suddenly ,the work clears up and I can take off if I want to . Go home, wear the sari Maa gave me and head to the Mandir for the RK class. I get Maa's blessing. Chant that night at the Mandir and head back home. Did today's quota.... While my spiritual growth is my own solo effort , there is an energy to a group that can be tapped into with very little effort. I have to do a LOT to get the same energy thats available so easily when done casually with another person.... I am happy chanting alone but I LOVE IT when chanting with others. Maa too is very happy when her children pray together. I am sure there must a rational explanation to the group thing (pretty sure that Brian is going to write back about it too ) Love Latha / <?subject=Un> Terms of Service <> . / To from this group, send an email to: <?subject=Un> Terms of Service <> . / <?subject=Un> Terms of Service <> . / <?subject=Un> Terms of Service <> . / <?subject=Un> Terms of Service <> . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2004 Report Share Posted January 8, 2004 I am also new to this group though I find the wave length of many suits mine. It is simply admirable to feel that the other living beings as our family as yoiu rightly said ,not necessarily bilogical family, is simply devine and real sadana according to my poor understnding.ONce you start to appreciate and understand others and help to their needs it is real seva to MAA. I am at the pre school level as far as teh system and procedures of pooja and I am strict follower of Karma Yoga(again to my limited knowledge) and ofcourse admire other systems too With Love Padmanabhan Hotjobs: Enter the "Signing Bonus" Sweepstakes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2004 Report Share Posted January 8, 2004 Dear Latha, You are blessed to be at the Mandir and have the physical presence of Shree Maa so often. I can tell by your writing that you realize this, and are grateful. I look forward to the day when I can chant Chandi with someone. Meanwhile, I chant it with Maa and continue to adore each syllable. It is amazing how much I am memorizing by just falling in love with each word! Yesterday I was moved to tears by the words "prathama caritrajape" which means "the first episode recited." It was not what was being said in those words that moved me. It was the realization that with those words I am more fully seeing Her glorious presence within me. It is so wonderful to be in love with Her. Lathananda ki Jai! Rick , "Latha Nanda" <lathananda> wrote: > Dear All, > > Happy New Year ! > > Short Story :- Aaaaaah the Power of a Group . Also , so easy to slip > back into old ways. > > Long Story :- > > Dec 28th : I seem to have a relapse the day after I write the diary. > This morning I chanted upto a point and then felt sleepy. So broke > off and went to sleep at my altar. Since I am in a temple not in my > apt, of course this is noticed by all. The second kindest moderator > even throws a flower on my sleeping form with a "Lathananda ki Jai". > > I feel wretched after the wonderful last week of no breaks. And I > wanta feel good and want some "support". So I go to the kitchen, and > try to enlist some support for a group Chandi. > > Not many takers. What about a Group Rudri? A few takers. The loyal > Kali and the humble Surath - troopers both of em. We sit together and > chant. I try to race thro passages and had to be reminded to slow > down a few times. But we finish and we all look happy for having made > the effort. Maa even had walked in the middle of our chanting. And > Maa LOVES it when her children pray together. > > So I feel better that my morning wasnt wasted after all. > > The evening comes and I still have to chant the Chandi. Kali always > sits along when I chant. > > I pounce on the unsuspecting Kiran, promise him gold and riches if > only he would sit along with me . > > He very kindly obliges and we complete the chanting. The second > kindest moderator joins us towards the end on his bass and strums > along to the sounds of the Arati. > > Dec 29th :- > > Surath , Kali and I chanted together the Chandi this morning. > > Predictably I felt sleepy, but was cheered on by Surath on one side > (think of coffee/slap your face if you feel sleepy) and Kali (you can > do it) and we sail through with stronger and stronger "Chandi Maa Ki > Jais". Maa looked pleased and also coupla times joined our "Chandi > Maa Ji Jai". > > Dec 30th :- Kali goes back (( I chant by myself today. > > Maa wants to read what we have posted on the forum. So I actually get > the privilege of reading aloud my latest diary to her. She just > smiles. And she laughed when she heard of me getting up for email > breaks "Naughty girl" she sez. > > Maa is very happy when she hears of some people's resolve to memorize > the Chandi , some of the questions from the forum ... > > Dec 31st :- Tried to chant this morning. Felt sleepy. No motivation. > Curl up in front of my altar after Kilakam. > > Figure I will catch hold of someone to chant with me later today. > > Not a one taker. Grrrrr. > > 'Aw Come On", I said. Responses varied from "Too busy", "Not > today", "Dont do group stuff" , "Get so and so to do it " to "Dont > be so dependent."(HEY! I didnt ask to be called names) . > > So I start again in the afternoon, progress to the Kavach and thats > it , cant go any further. > > And I know I wont get another chance with all the events for New > Years eve. > > A few people are enthusiastic about chanting together on New Years > day. So we plan for an early start and pass the good word around. > > New Years Day - Jan 1st. > > My first words to myself this year was not "Happy New Year" > but "Chandi Maa Ki Jai". > > Kiran, Surath and I start this morning and are joined by Lalita soon. > We chant two verses to a breath . Maa and Swami walk in the middle of > our chanting. We finish the chapter and wish them a Happy New Year. > > We finish up at 9 . We are happy about the way we have started this > year. > > I go back to my altar and do my Siva Puja and then on an impulse do > the Rudri too. I hear a soft step near me and I see Maa. She gives me > a sari and tells me that she is pleased with my chanting and wishes > me a happy new year. I am so overcome. I hug her and tell her that I > need to leave that evening as I had to get back to work the next > morning. > > "I will miss you" she says. > > > Jan 2nd ;- Back at my apartment. And this after nearly two weeks of > not moving beyond the temple, kitchen and book room , and only went > out once for the xmas party at the Evanses. I never wanted to leave, > I was perfectly happy with my routine of the last 2 weeks. Now I have > to slip back into my other role ... Life goes on ! > > Didnt chant today ... no motivation, no impulse and no guilt. > > Jan 3rd :- Work (yes even if it is the weekend) at the office. > Suddenly ,the work clears up and I can take off if I want to . Go > home, wear the sari Maa gave me and head to the Mandir for the RK > class. > > I get Maa's blessing. Chant that night at the Mandir and head back > home. > > Did today's quota.... > > > While my spiritual growth is my own solo effort , there is an energy > to a group that can be tapped into with very little effort. > > I have to do a LOT to get the same energy thats available so easily > when done casually with another person.... > > I am happy chanting alone but I LOVE IT when chanting with others. > Maa too is very happy when her children pray together. > > I am sure there must a rational explanation to the group thing > (pretty sure that Brian is going to write back about it too ) > > Love > Latha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 8, 2004 Report Share Posted January 8, 2004 Dear Padmanabhan, Thank you for your response. As far as being at pre-school level with puja. It is GOOD to be a beginner. The Shiva Puja is one of my favorite puja's. It is a part of me. Because it is simple and short you can start there and build your altar and your puja and make a resolve to do it everyday. Then when you are comfortable with that, add the Durga puja. Then to spice things up, you can do a Guru Gita or a Sundar Kand or a Lalita Trishati Stotram on the weekends or the holidays. Do as much or as little as your heart begs for. I truly believe that it is better to do what you can out of love than to do hours of the Chandi out of a sense of duty or a desire to prove oneself to the guru. In Zen Buddhism, there is a concept called Beginner's Mind. It is a way of approaching each moment and activity of life with the open mind and heart of a child, starting afresh. May I send you blessings on your path. Ardis PadmanabhanDK <dkpad > Thu, 8 Jan 2004 01:12:08 -0800 (PST) Re: Diary of a Sankalpa :- Dec 28 03 - Jan 3 04 Dear Ardis I am also new to this group though I find the wave length of many suits mine. It is simply admirable to feel that the other living beings as our family as yoiu rightly said ,not necessarily bilogical family, is simply devine and real sadana according to my poor understnding.ONce you start to appreciate and understand others and help to their needs it is real seva to MAA. I am at the pre school level as far as teh system and procedures of pooja and I am strict follower of Karma Yoga(again to my limited knowledge) and ofcourse admire other systems too With Love Padmanabhan Hotjobs: Enter the "Signing Bonus" Sweepstakes <http://pa./*http://us.rd./hotjobs/mail_footer_email/evt=21482/*http://hotjobs.sweepstakes./signingbonus> / <?subject=Un> Terms of Service <> . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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