Guest guest Posted February 8, 2004 Report Share Posted February 8, 2004 Hello All, I am back with the diary. Executive Summary :- I would probably have had more success losing 20 lbs and writing that diary in a weightloss forum . Extended version :- I dont have a blow-by-blow version simply because I dont remember the days I did versus the days I didnt. However I am recollecting all the highlights of the last month. First of all, I happily stopped for some time in between . What can I say to excuse myself ? How can I soothe my own conscience, when I KNOW the benefits of chanting the Chandi and keeping the Sankalpa? Luckily for me , I chant at the Mandir on the weekends and so I never go more than five days without chanting. Old habits die hard. Laziness and indiscipline are so ingrained in me. Thats the battle I am fighting. Also Fickleness. But what did I learn from this lesson ? Simply that, even though I had stopped for a few days, the benefits of chanting sustain me for a much longer time. The feeling of peace generated during my Chandi recitation lingers for a longer time. It is like if I chant continuously for a week, stop in between for a coupla (why even stop, but thats a different qstn) days, and pick it up later, I continue to feel good even in the break. The "feel good" feelings stop after a while, and I am back in the world. Lesson #1 :- Be regular - bcos a broken practice only means I see- saw between the ornery mind and something more beautiful. And to be firmly established in the more beautiful world means that I HAVE to be steady at the practice NO MATTER WHAT. Secondly, even when I chanted in the temple, there have been occassions when I started to giggle (yes, can you imagine anything more bizarre) and uncontrollable at that. Chanting the Kilakam and then giggling and unable to stop. Also, in the name of trying to get folks to chant with me, I would stop in between chapters to wave to ppl and signal to them to sit and chant. That laxness in attitude may be fun at that moment, but it takes away the solemness of the chanting. And I am not chanting as a diversion, I am chanting for help , for guidance. If I want the higher goal, I have to sacrifice the smaller/petty goals. Lesson #2 :- Keep focussed on the chanting and not to make a joke of it. And that includes - no email breaks at home. Thirdly, I found another demon that sneaks in to delay my chanting. It is called "Start chanting a little later". Instead of starting at 8 pm, this tantalizing demon says "Dont miss Meredith. Isnt she gorgeous? Poor Bob missed out." and " You are missing the 8 pm Prime Time ? Be nice to yourself. Dont be so one-dimensional. Start a leeeetle later, how about 10 pm? " So I succumb and start later, 10 pm ...11 pm and sure enough finish at 1.30 or 2 am in the mornings. Result, scrambling to the office the next morning. And this cycle repeats. And after a while, I watch the gorjus Meredy and instead of going to start the Chandi, I tell Maa prettily "please forgive me Maa? I have an 8 am meeting tmw and cant afford to take the call at home " Lesson #3 :- Dont fool myself. Start early. Fourthly, another demon that insinuates itself in my mind "I am REALLY not a spiritual person." Why chant ? Why bother ? I see folks around me - non- chanters, ornery ppl, picking up and dropping kids at the daycare, finding good deals at Macys, going on vacations, selling their ideas at the office meetings, buying the right stocks, in short - NORMAL ppl leading HAPPY NORMAL lives. Am I just fooling myself ? Who am I trying to become anyway ? Then I tell myself - "This too is just another Asura. Your job is too keep at the practice" Lesson #4 :- Have faith that She will show the way. My job is to submit to her will, and the Chandi sankalpa is to show me the way. She can make me a success or failure in my career, she can turn me into a saint, she can do what she pleases. My focus is not to get trapped with ideas about 'normalcy', or indeed any ideas at all. Let Her take over. Dear readers, I want to thank you. Your presence has made a difference in my life. In making myself accountable to you, bcos I started my sankalpa with your blessings and in relating my progress to you, I am in reality using you to keep my chanting alive . Thank you for letting me use you. My pranams to each and every one of you for helping me on the way. And if I do become a saint, you will get special darshan tickets With love Latha PS :- Apologies for the length. Wondering how many of the 431 members read this far. If you did, could you just send a quick line - offline. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2004 Report Share Posted February 8, 2004 Latha, I have faith in you. You will pass through all these distractions and extraneous desires. You have already touched the feet of She who is the truth behind the seeming. Now raise your gaze and fix your eyes on her loving face. Her love is beyond all of this. Her grace is as full as her heart. I'm sure everyone reads it all. I am blessed by your presence here, and I'm sure I'm not alone. You go to the Mandir every weekend, but I come here, every day. This may be a poor subsitute for real satsanga, but it is so much better than nothing at all. I, too, have been blessed by each and every contributor, and I thank you all. Chris , "Latha Nanda" <lathananda> wrote: > Hello All, > > I am back with the diary. > > Executive Summary :- I would probably have had more success losing 20 > lbs and writing that diary in a weightloss forum . > > Extended version :- > > I dont have a blow-by-blow version simply because I dont remember the > days I did versus the days I didnt. However I am recollecting all the > highlights of the last month. > > First of all, I happily stopped for some time in between . What can I > say to excuse myself ? How can I soothe my own conscience, when I > KNOW the benefits of chanting the Chandi and keeping the Sankalpa? > Luckily for me , I chant at the Mandir on the weekends and so I never > go more than five days without chanting. > > Old habits die hard. Laziness and indiscipline are so ingrained in > me. Thats the battle I am fighting. Also Fickleness. > > But what did I learn from this lesson ? Simply that, even though I > had stopped for a few days, the benefits of chanting sustain me for > a much longer time. The feeling of peace generated during my Chandi > recitation lingers for a longer time. It is like if I chant > continuously for a week, stop in between for a coupla (why even stop, > but thats a different qstn) days, and pick it up later, I continue to > feel good even in the break. > > The "feel good" feelings stop after a while, and I am back in the > world. > > Lesson #1 :- Be regular - bcos a broken practice only means I see- > saw between the ornery mind and something more beautiful. And to be > firmly established in the more beautiful world means that I HAVE to > be steady at the practice NO MATTER WHAT. > > > Secondly, even when I chanted in the temple, there have been > occassions when I started to giggle (yes, can you imagine anything > more bizarre) and uncontrollable at that. Chanting the Kilakam and > then giggling and unable to stop. > > Also, in the name of trying to get folks to chant with me, I would > stop in between chapters to wave to ppl and signal to them to sit and > chant. > > That laxness in attitude may be fun at that moment, but it takes away > the solemness of the chanting. And I am not chanting as a diversion, > I am chanting for help , for guidance. > > If I want the higher goal, I have to sacrifice the smaller/petty > goals. > > Lesson #2 :- Keep focussed on the chanting and not to make a joke of > it. And that includes - no email breaks at home. > > > Thirdly, I found another demon that sneaks in to delay my chanting. > > It is called "Start chanting a little later". Instead of starting at > 8 pm, this tantalizing demon says "Dont miss Meredith. Isnt she > gorgeous? Poor Bob missed out." and " You are missing the 8 pm Prime > Time ? Be nice to yourself. Dont be so one-dimensional. Start a > leeeetle later, how about 10 pm? " > > So I succumb and start later, 10 pm ...11 pm and sure enough finish > at 1.30 or 2 am in the mornings. > > Result, scrambling to the office the next morning. And this cycle > repeats. > > And after a while, I watch the gorjus Meredy and instead of going to > start the Chandi, I tell Maa prettily "please forgive me Maa? I have > an 8 am meeting tmw and cant afford to take the call at home " > > Lesson #3 :- Dont fool myself. Start early. > > Fourthly, another demon that insinuates itself in my mind "I am > REALLY not a spiritual person." > > Why chant ? Why bother ? I see folks around me - non- chanters, > ornery ppl, picking up and dropping kids at the daycare, finding good > deals at Macys, going on vacations, selling their ideas at the office > meetings, buying the right stocks, in short - NORMAL ppl leading > HAPPY NORMAL lives. > > Am I just fooling myself ? Who am I trying to become anyway ? > > Then I tell myself - "This too is just another Asura. Your job is too > keep at the practice" > > Lesson #4 :- Have faith that She will show the way. My job is to > submit to her will, and the Chandi sankalpa is to show me the way. > She can make me a success or failure in my career, she can turn me > into a saint, she can do what she pleases. My focus is not to get > trapped with ideas about 'normalcy', or indeed any ideas at all. Let > Her take over. > > Dear readers, > > I want to thank you. Your presence has made a difference in my life. > In making myself accountable to you, bcos I started my sankalpa with > your blessings and in relating my progress to you, I am in reality > using you to keep my chanting alive . > > Thank you for letting me use you. My pranams to each and every one of > you for helping me on the way. And if I do become a saint, you will > get special darshan tickets > > With love > Latha > > > PS :- Apologies for the length. Wondering how many of the 431 members read this far. If you did, could you just send a quick line - offline. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2004 Report Share Posted February 8, 2004 Chris, I very much like what you wrote (below) to Latha. I couldn't agree more...your words express exactly how I feel, too. Regards, Karen I'm sure everyone reads it all. I am blessed by your presence here, and I'm sure I'm not alone. You go to the Mandir every weekend, but I come here, every day. This may be a poor subsitute for real satsanga, but it is so much better than nothing at all. I, too, have been blessed by each and every contributor, and I thank you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2004 Report Share Posted February 8, 2004 Namaste. Dear Latha, I read every one of your posts all the way through. Ok, so I read everybody's posts all the way through. I can't tell you how encouraging it is though, when I'm feeling like a bull in a china shop, to read your diary and know that someone who has just as much difficulty as I do in this is blessed enough to be accepted in Maa's and Swamiji's presence. You are a blessing! Thank you! All of you! Jai Maa! Leon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2004 Report Share Posted February 8, 2004 I did read to end and please keep up the good work .................... Jai Maa!!!Latha Nanda <lathananda > wrote: Hello All,I am back with the diary.Executive Summary :- I would probably have had more success losing 20 lbs and writing that diary in a weightloss forum . Extended version :-I dont have a blow-by-blow version simply because I dont remember the days I did versus the days I didnt. However I am recollecting all the highlights of the last month.First of all, I happily stopped for some time in between . What can I say to excuse myself ? How can I soothe my own conscience, when I KNOW the benefits of chanting the Chandi and keeping the Sankalpa? Luckily for me , I chant at the Mandir on the weekends and so I never go more than five days without chanting.Old habits die hard. Laziness and indiscipline are so ingrained in me. Thats the battle I am fighting. Also Fickleness.But what did I learn from this lesson ? Simply that, even though I had stopped for a few days, the benefits of chanting sustain me for a much longer time. The feeling of peace generated during my Chandi recitation lingers for a longer time. It is like if I chant continuously for a week, stop in between for a coupla (why even stop, but thats a different qstn) days, and pick it up later, I continue to feel good even in the break.The "feel good" feelings stop after a while, and I am back in the world. Lesson #1 :- Be regular - bcos a broken practice only means I see-saw between the ornery mind and something more beautiful. And to be firmly established in the more beautiful world means that I HAVE to be steady at the practice NO MATTER WHAT.Secondly, even when I chanted in the temple, there have been occassions when I started to giggle (yes, can you imagine anything more bizarre) and uncontrollable at that. Chanting the Kilakam and then giggling and unable to stop.Also, in the name of trying to get folks to chant with me, I would stop in between chapters to wave to ppl and signal to them to sit and chant. That laxness in attitude may be fun at that moment, but it takes away the solemness of the chanting. And I am not chanting as a diversion, I am chanting for help , for guidance.If I want the higher goal, I have to sacrifice the smaller/petty goals.Lesson #2 :- Keep focussed on the chanting and not to make a joke of it. And that includes - no email breaks at home.Thirdly, I found another demon that sneaks in to delay my chanting. It is called "Start chanting a little later". Instead of starting at 8 pm, this tantalizing demon says "Dont miss Meredith. Isnt she gorgeous? Poor Bob missed out." and " You are missing the 8 pm Prime Time ? Be nice to yourself. Dont be so one-dimensional. Start a leeeetle later, how about 10 pm? " So I succumb and start later, 10 pm ...11 pm and sure enough finish at 1.30 or 2 am in the mornings. Result, scrambling to the office the next morning. And this cycle repeats.And after a while, I watch the gorjus Meredy and instead of going to start the Chandi, I tell Maa prettily "please forgive me Maa? I have an 8 am meeting tmw and cant afford to take the call at home "Lesson #3 :- Dont fool myself. Start early. Fourthly, another demon that insinuates itself in my mind "I am REALLY not a spiritual person."Why chant ? Why bother ? I see folks around me - non- chanters, ornery ppl, picking up and dropping kids at the daycare, finding good deals at Macys, going on vacations, selling their ideas at the office meetings, buying the right stocks, in short - NORMAL ppl leading HAPPY NORMAL lives. Am I just fooling myself ? Who am I trying to become anyway ?Then I tell myself - "This too is just another Asura. Your job is too keep at the practice" Lesson #4 :- Have faith that She will show the way. My job is to submit to her will, and the Chandi sankalpa is to show me the way. She can make me a success or failure in my career, she can turn me into a saint, she can do what she pleases. My focus is not to get trapped with ideas about 'normalcy', or indeed any ideas at all. Let Her take over.Dear readers,I want to thank you. Your presence has made a difference in my life. In making myself accountable to you, bcos I started my sankalpa with your blessings and in relating my progress to you, I am in reality using you to keep my chanting alive .Thank you for letting me use you. My pranams to each and every one of you for helping me on the way. And if I do become a saint, you will get special darshan tickets :)With loveLathaPS :- Apologies for the length. Wondering how many of the 431 members read this far. If you did, could you just send a quick line - offline. Finance: Get your refund fast by filing online Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2004 Report Share Posted February 8, 2004 Hello, Latha! Your diary is much appreciated...and I read every word with great pleasure. Best wishes, Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 9, 2004 Report Share Posted February 9, 2004 All these things are wages of a war that is mind fought and goddess "one." You are doing fine. Stop subdividing your activities and judging the way your mind tries to avoid the truth. The mind must avoid the truth or it loses identity. Your mind feels that consciousness wants to end its existence and it uses every trick it has to fool you into believing that you are not consciousness. I know this simply because you and I walk parallel paths and currently my mind is obsessed over becoming goddess. And it can't. Love, Brian At 10:33 AM 2/8/2004, you wrote: >Hello All, > >I am back with the diary. > >Executive Summary :- I would probably have had more success losing 20 >lbs and writing that diary in a weightloss forum . > >Extended version :- > >I dont have a blow-by-blow version simply because I dont remember the >days I did versus the days I didnt. However I am recollecting all the >highlights of the last month. > >First of all, I happily stopped for some time in between . What can I >say to excuse myself ? How can I soothe my own conscience, when I >KNOW the benefits of chanting the Chandi and keeping the Sankalpa? >Luckily for me , I chant at the Mandir on the weekends and so I never >go more than five days without chanting. > >Old habits die hard. Laziness and indiscipline are so ingrained in >me. Thats the battle I am fighting. Also Fickleness. > >But what did I learn from this lesson ? Simply that, even though I >had stopped for a few days, the benefits of chanting sustain me for >a much longer time. The feeling of peace generated during my Chandi >recitation lingers for a longer time. It is like if I chant >continuously for a week, stop in between for a coupla (why even stop, >but thats a different qstn) days, and pick it up later, I continue to >feel good even in the break. > >The "feel good" feelings stop after a while, and I am back in the >world. > >Lesson #1 :- Be regular - bcos a broken practice only means I see- >saw between the ornery mind and something more beautiful. And to be >firmly established in the more beautiful world means that I HAVE to >be steady at the practice NO MATTER WHAT. > > >Secondly, even when I chanted in the temple, there have been >occassions when I started to giggle (yes, can you imagine anything >more bizarre) and uncontrollable at that. Chanting the Kilakam and >then giggling and unable to stop. > >Also, in the name of trying to get folks to chant with me, I would >stop in between chapters to wave to ppl and signal to them to sit and >chant. > >That laxness in attitude may be fun at that moment, but it takes away >the solemness of the chanting. And I am not chanting as a diversion, >I am chanting for help , for guidance. > >If I want the higher goal, I have to sacrifice the smaller/petty >goals. > >Lesson #2 :- Keep focussed on the chanting and not to make a joke of >it. And that includes - no email breaks at home. > > >Thirdly, I found another demon that sneaks in to delay my chanting. > >It is called "Start chanting a little later". Instead of starting at >8 pm, this tantalizing demon says "Dont miss Meredith. Isnt she >gorgeous? Poor Bob missed out." and " You are missing the 8 pm Prime >Time ? Be nice to yourself. Dont be so one-dimensional. Start a >leeeetle later, how about 10 pm? " > >So I succumb and start later, 10 pm ...11 pm and sure enough finish >at 1.30 or 2 am in the mornings. > >Result, scrambling to the office the next morning. And this cycle >repeats. > >And after a while, I watch the gorjus Meredy and instead of going to >start the Chandi, I tell Maa prettily "please forgive me Maa? I have >an 8 am meeting tmw and cant afford to take the call at home " > >Lesson #3 :- Dont fool myself. Start early. > >Fourthly, another demon that insinuates itself in my mind "I am >REALLY not a spiritual person." > >Why chant ? Why bother ? I see folks around me - non- chanters, >ornery ppl, picking up and dropping kids at the daycare, finding good >deals at Macys, going on vacations, selling their ideas at the office >meetings, buying the right stocks, in short - NORMAL ppl leading >HAPPY NORMAL lives. > >Am I just fooling myself ? Who am I trying to become anyway ? > >Then I tell myself - "This too is just another Asura. Your job is too >keep at the practice" > >Lesson #4 :- Have faith that She will show the way. My job is to >submit to her will, and the Chandi sankalpa is to show me the way. >She can make me a success or failure in my career, she can turn me >into a saint, she can do what she pleases. My focus is not to get >trapped with ideas about 'normalcy', or indeed any ideas at all. Let >Her take over. > >Dear readers, > >I want to thank you. Your presence has made a difference in my life. >In making myself accountable to you, bcos I started my sankalpa with >your blessings and in relating my progress to you, I am in reality >using you to keep my chanting alive . > >Thank you for letting me use you. My pranams to each and every one of >you for helping me on the way. And if I do become a saint, you will >get special darshan tickets > >With love >Latha > > >PS :- Apologies for the length. Wondering how many of the 431 members read >this far. If you did, could you just send a quick line - offline. > > > > > > Links > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 9, 2004 Report Share Posted February 9, 2004 Beloved Latha-Ma, Pranams. I kept looking and wondering "where's Latha's diary? Please Maa do not let her stop." Beloved one, thanks so much once again. Latha, you are a blessed child, and you are loved - if there was every any doubt in your mind, see Mother's note to you at post 2383. Nothing in this universe is done by accident, only by Mother's desire. Not only did Sourav join the group on the day of your post but look at the message which her post delivers. In relating to the story of the "Cracked water pot", let me confess that in reading and reading your dairy, I was inspired to chant more and more of the Chandi. The Chandi has now become a daily part of my sadana, with the pray that one day we will all become beautiful white roses adorning Mother's garden. May Mother continue to bless and enrich your life as your diary spreads these blessings to her children. I love you dearly sis. Jai Chandi Maa ki jai! Jai ShreeMaa ki jai! PS :- Apologies for the length. Wondering how many of the 431 members read this far. If you did, could you just send a quick line - offline. (No apologies necessary, enjoyed to the last word and wished there was more . love and more love to you :-D) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 10, 2004 Report Share Posted February 10, 2004 our narration is really quite a guidance Thanks a lot Pranams Padmanabhan Finance: Get your refund fast by filing online Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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