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ardis i read in one of the books maa or swami said no tattva was

over another. i was surprised at that interpretation, i thought

sattwa was always desired. but then i see the meaning a little

differently now, all the qualities are part of existence.

 

i fell under the spell of this maa very recently. i wanted to write

to her in long-hand like a little man would do maybe in the 2nd to

4th grade. how ridiculous, i thought i was finally losing it (haha.)

 

and then i was fearful she would hurt me, if i trusted too much.

again, how crazy! i just want her to see me, or to see her. how

silly. am i not an adult person? ha!

 

over time love kind of gets stuck or something and then she ignites

it in this very different way. she bridges the little details like

cutting carrots into god practice. not in some conceptual way like

zen either.

 

i was even afraid, maybe the devotion for the divine mother would be

too great, it would block my passage to god. this sort of thing

always seemed sort of silly ... even saccharine to me ... different

now that i am experiencing it for myself.

 

well i see that as part of the devotional life. there are these ups

and downs. fortunately for me some long analysis of things has shown

all is relative. there are movements that are so massive, and there

is the cosmic mandir of no relative size at all.

 

i almost died in a car accident not that long ago, maybe 2 years. in

the emergency room i looked up at the lights and had no fear of

death, but there was also no "other" or love-center there. only an

emptiness. i resolved to address that, and changed some of my ways.

 

always learning, unlearning, etc.

 

steve c.

 

 

, Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

wrote:

> That is so very beautiful Brian.

>

> I am not much good at self analysis. but I have been told that I

have a

> predominance of rajas over tamas and sattwa. When I was told

this, it hurt

> my feelings a little bit. I wanted to see myself as very

sattwic. But I

> have come to see that it is my rajasic tendency that has propelled

me into

> being a bhakta and given me the energy to fall in love with

Divinity and

> carry on my sadhana for the last 11 years.

>

> Sometimes I am put in the mood of a baby or a small child and I

just call

> Maa, Maa, Maa, Maa over and over again. And even though I keep on

crying, I

> am very aware of Her presence. I just keep on crying because I

don't want

> Her to leave or set me down (just like a spoiled baby). I am now

at a point

> that I can feel Her working through me, using my eyes and hands

and feet;

> taking me places; giving me jobs to do. When I, Ardis, don't know

where

> something is (keys, glasses, papers) I just ask Her and she points

my eyes

> and hands in the right direction. She can see through things.

This morning

> She found my glasses under a thick sleeping bag. I always am sure

to thank

> Her.

>

> My father's favorite hymn was "In the Garden". It goes like

this: "I walk

> in the Garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses. And the

Voice I

> hear, whispering in my ear, the Son of God discloses. And He

walks with me

> and He talks with me and He tells me I am His Own. And the joy I

bear as I

> tarry there, few other have ever known." It reminds me of Sri

Ramakrishna

> walking in the gardens at Dakshineshwar with his Beloved Mother

Kali. This

> is the song of the bhakta walking in a daily walk with their ishta

devata.

> Ramakrishna blessed all of us with his ability to move back and

forth

> between the life of the bhakta and the life of complete and total

absorption

> and Divine Union. Just as eternity is a single moment, Sri

Ramakrishna is

> very much with us in each moment. As are Shree Maa and Swami

Satyananda

> Saraswati.

>

> Jai Maa!!! Jai Swamiji!!! Jai Ramakrishna!!! Jai Sarada

Devi!!!

>

> "Brian McKee" <brian@s...>

>

> Fri, 13 Feb 2004 18:02:39 -0500 (EST)

>

> The dual nature of desire.

>

>

> I learned something a couple of days ago. Well, "learned" as a

word doesn't

> do it justice. I guess it was a realization.

>

> Desire, which is considered to be one of the biggest obstacles to

a person's

> spritual progress, also happens to be the most powerful tool at

his disposal

> for spiritual enlightenment.

>

> RamakKrishna, when he was young, was felt to be a bit off (to put

it

> nicely), because he ran around crying to Murti's, "Maa! Maa!

Please Maa!"

>

> I now understand why he did that. He knew consciousness existed

but had not

> yet experienced it. He had seen the goddess on the mount but had

not yet

> become her husband. Ramakrishna desired mother so badly that he

lost himself

> to the desire and thus enabled her to enter into his body.

>

> What I learned is simply that if I desire the goddess to come to

me, if I

> can build the desire to the fullness of my being, if I can build

that desire

> even greater than my fears of self anihilation, then goddess will

come to

> me. Consciousness will come.

>

> This is not a mental process, this is a process that relates to

feeling. You

> can feel her in your body as you literally lust after her long a

teenage boy

> lusts after a runway model. This lust is not physical, that

example was just

> a metaphor.

>

> Yesterday, while waiting to see my doctor I practiced two

techniques of

> meditation. One was to feel my body and ignore my thoughts. Its

just

> allowing myself to feel my body. The second is to desire goddess.

Literally

> call for her, want her, need her, desire her with all my heart and

soul.

>

> "Maa, Maa, Please Maa! Come into my heart and make me one with

you!"

>

> The result was an eyes open meditation like I've never experienced

before. I

> could feel her energy within me. I could feel the cells in my body

charging

> with consciousness.

>

> It is such a wonderful feeling that I've asked her for a

boon. "Please

> mother, let me desire you for the rest of eternity."

>

> Namaste,

>

> Brian

>

>

>

>

>

> "In the begining, the universe was created. This has made a lot of

people

> very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -- Douglas

Adams, The

> Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy Radio Program.

>

>

>

>

> No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding.

> Introducing My Way - http://www.myway.com

>

>

>

> Links

>

> /

>

>

>

> <?

subject=Un>

>

> Terms of Service

> <> .

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, Brian McKee <brian@s...> wrote:

> Hi Steve,

>

> I'm not sure what brought all of the following on. I hope you

realize I say

> it with the best of intentions.

 

-- of course i do! silly!

>

> Presence is devoid of thought. Look for the spaces between the

words like

> you would look for the space between the white lines while driving

down the

> highway. See not the lines, but the lack of lines and there you

will find her.

 

-- yes, yes.

>

> As for desire to do silly things, desire is real, the

classification of

> that desire as silly is a mental trick meant to stop you from

fulfilling

> desire and IS NOT REAL. There are no silly desires, just silly

minds.

 

-- oh yes i know. i say this as a joke. i walk around naked. i know

i am naked in this world. my desire is to exist.

>

> All desires lead to Maa. Some may be more direct than others, and

its true

> that you get there faster by doing the best desires, but you won't

get

> there faster by avoiding all desire.

 

-- no no of course not. all desire is channeled into this one ray,

to know god. what this even means is ambiguous. it is a desire that

grows out of the ground like a plant. it is going to the sun, or

towards some light, that is all.

 

> If you desire to write Maa a letter as a forth grader, then do it.

She will

> answer as the Mother of a forth grade child.

 

-- yes how sweet. someone told me i don't need to e-mail, but i

think, you are saying it is ok. surely it cannot hurt. i want to do

what is best and not waste anyone's time, but also live the true

relationship, if there is one.

>

> Most fears we experience are fear of being hurt. The hurt already

exists as

> a memory and we fear not only being hurt again, but re-

experiencing the

> hurt that is already there. If you cannot face the fear alone, ask

Maa to

> face the fear with you and together you will see what it relates

to and

> that it is just a shadow of an unconscious past action over which

you had

> no control. Facing the fear, allows us to feel the hurt and allows

mother

> divine consciousness to heal the hurt. There is no fear once pain

is faced.

 

-- yes so true. but in this instance i am stretching out the rope of

pain for a purpose. i know that probably makes no sense, except that

a long chain of karma has to be finally resolved. it is like, the

last 1%. maybe.

>

> The mind itself is a reaction to what are perceived to be life

threatening

> circumstances and is formed during our early years to guarantee

our

> survival. The mind is an old piece of technology that is on its

way out as

> consciousness gives us access to higher purpose and understanding.

>

> The mind does not want to die and becomes extremely creative in

its

> attempts to get us to identify with it, instead of with mother,

with who we

> are.

 

-- yes. the mind can be understood in so many ways. an enemy, or it

doesn't even exist, or accepted "as is" with a sort of ignorance. i

see it as a sort of stream we can influence, but we can't stop the

river except using relatively harsh methods. it can reveal or

obscure but it is not to be blotted out any more easily than the

world itself.

 

-- peace to you, there is no problem,

 

-- steve c.

>

> Sincerely,

>

> Brian

>

> PS Chandi Maa Ki Jai!

>

> At 05:55 PM 2/13/2004, you wrote:

>

> >ardis i read in one of the books maa or swami said no tattva was

> >over another. i was surprised at that interpretation, i thought

> >sattwa was always desired. but then i see the meaning a little

> >differently now, all the qualities are part of existence.

> >

> >i fell under the spell of this maa very recently. i wanted to

write

> >to her in long-hand like a little man would do maybe in the 2nd to

> >4th grade. how ridiculous, i thought i was finally losing it

(haha.)

> >

> >and then i was fearful she would hurt me, if i trusted too much.

> >again, how crazy! i just want her to see me, or to see her. how

> >silly. am i not an adult person? ha!

> >

> >over time love kind of gets stuck or something and then she

ignites

> >it in this very different way. she bridges the little details like

> >cutting carrots into god practice. not in some conceptual way like

> >zen either.

> >

> >i was even afraid, maybe the devotion for the divine mother would

be

> >too great, it would block my passage to god. this sort of thing

> >always seemed sort of silly ... even saccharine to me ...

different

> >now that i am experiencing it for myself.

> >

> >well i see that as part of the devotional life. there are these

ups

> >and downs. fortunately for me some long analysis of things has

shown

> >all is relative. there are movements that are so massive, and

there

> >is the cosmic mandir of no relative size at all.

> >

> >i almost died in a car accident not that long ago, maybe 2 years.

in

> >the emergency room i looked up at the lights and had no fear of

> >death, but there was also no "other" or love-center there. only an

> >emptiness. i resolved to address that, and changed some of my

ways.

> >

> >always learning, unlearning, etc.

> >

> >steve c.

> >

> >

> >, Ardis Jackson

<anandamama@e...>

> >wrote:

> > > That is so very beautiful Brian.

> > >

> > > I am not much good at self analysis. but I have been told that

I

> >have a

> > > predominance of rajas over tamas and sattwa. When I was told

> >this, it hurt

> > > my feelings a little bit. I wanted to see myself as very

> >sattwic. But I

> > > have come to see that it is my rajasic tendency that has

propelled

> >me into

> > > being a bhakta and given me the energy to fall in love with

> >Divinity and

> > > carry on my sadhana for the last 11 years.

> > >

> > > Sometimes I am put in the mood of a baby or a small child and I

> >just call

> > > Maa, Maa, Maa, Maa over and over again. And even though I

keep on

> >crying, I

> > > am very aware of Her presence. I just keep on crying because I

> >don't want

> > > Her to leave or set me down (just like a spoiled baby). I am

now

> >at a point

> > > that I can feel Her working through me, using my eyes and hands

> >and feet;

> > > taking me places; giving me jobs to do. When I, Ardis, don't

know

> >where

> > > something is (keys, glasses, papers) I just ask Her and she

points

> >my eyes

> > > and hands in the right direction. She can see through things.

> >This morning

> > > She found my glasses under a thick sleeping bag. I always am

sure

> >to thank

> > > Her.

> > >

> > > My father's favorite hymn was "In the Garden". It goes like

> >this: "I walk

> > > in the Garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses. And

the

> >Voice I

> > > hear, whispering in my ear, the Son of God discloses. And He

> >walks with me

> > > and He talks with me and He tells me I am His Own. And the

joy I

> >bear as I

> > > tarry there, few other have ever known." It reminds me of Sri

> >Ramakrishna

> > > walking in the gardens at Dakshineshwar with his Beloved Mother

> >Kali. This

> > > is the song of the bhakta walking in a daily walk with their

ishta

> >devata.

> > > Ramakrishna blessed all of us with his ability to move back and

> >forth

> > > between the life of the bhakta and the life of complete and

total

> >absorption

> > > and Divine Union. Just as eternity is a single moment, Sri

> >Ramakrishna is

> > > very much with us in each moment. As are Shree Maa and Swami

> >Satyananda

> > > Saraswati.

> > >

> > > Jai Maa!!! Jai Swamiji!!! Jai Ramakrishna!!! Jai Sarada

> >Devi!!!

> > >

> > > "Brian McKee" <brian@s...>

> > >

> > > Fri, 13 Feb 2004 18:02:39 -0500 (EST)

> > >

> > > The dual nature of desire.

> > >

> > >

> > > I learned something a couple of days ago. Well, "learned" as a

> >word doesn't

> > > do it justice. I guess it was a realization.

> > >

> > > Desire, which is considered to be one of the biggest obstacles

to

> >a person's

> > > spritual progress, also happens to be the most powerful tool at

> >his disposal

> > > for spiritual enlightenment.

> > >

> > > RamakKrishna, when he was young, was felt to be a bit off (to

put

> >it

> > > nicely), because he ran around crying to Murti's, "Maa! Maa!

> >Please Maa!"

> > >

> > > I now understand why he did that. He knew consciousness existed

> >but had not

> > > yet experienced it. He had seen the goddess on the mount but

had

> >not yet

> > > become her husband. Ramakrishna desired mother so badly that he

> >lost himself

> > > to the desire and thus enabled her to enter into his body.

> > >

> > > What I learned is simply that if I desire the goddess to come

to

> >me, if I

> > > can build the desire to the fullness of my being, if I can

build

> >that desire

> > > even greater than my fears of self anihilation, then goddess

will

> >come to

> > > me. Consciousness will come.

> > >

> > > This is not a mental process, this is a process that relates to

> >feeling. You

> > > can feel her in your body as you literally lust after her long

a

> >teenage boy

> > > lusts after a runway model. This lust is not physical, that

> >example was just

> > > a metaphor.

> > >

> > > Yesterday, while waiting to see my doctor I practiced two

> >techniques of

> > > meditation. One was to feel my body and ignore my thoughts. Its

> >just

> > > allowing myself to feel my body. The second is to desire

goddess.

> >Literally

> > > call for her, want her, need her, desire her with all my heart

and

> >soul.

> > >

> > > "Maa, Maa, Please Maa! Come into my heart and make me one with

> >you!"

> > >

> > > The result was an eyes open meditation like I've never

experienced

> >before. I

> > > could feel her energy within me. I could feel the cells in my

body

> >charging

> > > with consciousness.

> > >

> > > It is such a wonderful feeling that I've asked her for a

> >boon. "Please

> > > mother, let me desire you for the rest of eternity."

> > >

> > > Namaste,

> > >

> > > Brian

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > "In the begining, the universe was created. This has made a

lot of

> >people

> > > very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -- Douglas

> >Adams, The

> > > Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy Radio Program.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding.

> > > Introducing My Way - http://www.myway.com

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Links

> > >

> > > /

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > <?

> >subject=Un>

> > >

> > > Terms of

Service

> > > <> .

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Links

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >---

> >Incoming mail is certified Virus Free.

> >Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).

> >Version: 6.0.583 / Virus Database: 369 - Release 2/10/2004

>

>

> ---

> Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.

> Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).

> Version: 6.0.583 / Virus Database: 369 - Release 2/10/2004

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Steve,

I have heard Maa speak on several occasions about the importance of faith.

Have you ever heard her sing the song "Please Take My Hand Lord" ? It

is an incredibly beautiful experience to hear her sing this song

because she sings it from the depth of her divine heart. Here's how

it goes. "Please take my hand my Lord and show me the way. I don't

know this path very well. (repeat) I fully rely on you, I trust you

with all my heart. Beyond you I know of no one else. Today you are

the King of my heart. Today I can see Your Beauty. Undeniably it is

true without the slightest doubt, NOTHING can break this bond of

faith."

She sings this song to Thakur Sri Ramakrishna, her guru and her Beloved Lord.

To me the song is a prayer of great depth because it speaks of how

deeply Maa relies on Divinity and trusts God with all her heart. It

is the bond of faith with Ramakrishna that has kept her going her

entire life through many trials and tribulations. It is her faith in

Divinity, whether one sees that Divinity as Lord Shiva or Kali or

Chandi or Ramakrishna, that lights her path and the lives of all who

come in contact with her.

Jai Shree Maa !! Jai Sri Ramakrishna Ki Jai !!

"bingo_ridley" <bingo_ridley >

Sat, 14 Feb 2004 01:55:49 -0000

Re: The dual nature of desire. ... hey ho ardis

ardis i read in one of the books maa or swami said no tattva was

over another. i was surprised at that interpretation, i thought

sattwa was always desired. but then i see the meaning a little

differently now, all the qualities are part of existence.

i fell under the spell of this maa very recently. i wanted to write

to her in long-hand like a little man would do maybe in the 2nd to

4th grade. how ridiculous, i thought i was finally losing it (haha.)

and then i was fearful she would hurt me, if i trusted too much.

again, how crazy! i just want her to see me, or to see her. how

silly. am i not an adult person? ha!

over time love kind of gets stuck or something and then she ignites

it in this very different way. she bridges the little details like

cutting carrots into god practice. not in some conceptual way like

zen either.

i was even afraid, maybe the devotion for the divine mother would be

too great, it would block my passage to god. this sort of thing

always seemed sort of silly ... even saccharine to me ... different

now that i am experiencing it for myself.

well i see that as part of the devotional life. there are these ups

and downs. fortunately for me some long analysis of things has shown

all is relative. there are movements that are so massive, and there

is the cosmic mandir of no relative size at all.

i almost died in a car accident not that long ago, maybe 2 years. in

the emergency room i looked up at the lights and had no fear of

death, but there was also no "other" or love-center there. only an

emptiness. i resolved to address that, and changed some of my ways.

always learning, unlearning, etc.

steve c.

, Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

wrote:

> That is so very beautiful Brian.

>

> I am not much good at self analysis. but I have been told that I

have a

> predominance of rajas over tamas and sattwa. When I was told

this, it hurt

> my feelings a little bit. I wanted to see myself as very

sattwic. But I

> have come to see that it is my rajasic tendency that has propelled

me into

> being a bhakta and given me the energy to fall in love with

Divinity and

> carry on my sadhana for the last 11 years.

>

> Sometimes I am put in the mood of a baby or a small child and I

just call

> Maa, Maa, Maa, Maa over and over again. And even though I keep on

crying, I

> am very aware of Her presence. I just keep on crying because I

don't want

> Her to leave or set me down (just like a spoiled baby). I am now

at a point

> that I can feel Her working through me, using my eyes and hands

and feet;

> taking me places; giving me jobs to do. When I, Ardis, don't know

where

> something is (keys, glasses, papers) I just ask Her and she points

my eyes

> and hands in the right direction. She can see through things.

This morning

> She found my glasses under a thick sleeping bag. I always am sure

to thank

> Her.

>

> My father's favorite hymn was "In the Garden". It goes like

this: "I walk

> in the Garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses. And the

Voice I

> hear, whispering in my ear, the Son of God discloses. And He

walks with me

> and He talks with me and He tells me I am His Own. And the joy I

bear as I

> tarry there, few other have ever known." It reminds me of Sri

Ramakrishna

> walking in the gardens at Dakshineshwar with his Beloved Mother

Kali. This

> is the song of the bhakta walking in a daily walk with their ishta

devata.

> Ramakrishna blessed all of us with his ability to move back and

forth

> between the life of the bhakta and the life of complete and total

absorption

> and Divine Union. Just as eternity is a single moment, Sri

Ramakrishna is

> very much with us in each moment. As are Shree Maa and Swami

Satyananda

> Saraswati.

>

> Jai Maa!!! Jai Swamiji!!! Jai Ramakrishna!!! Jai Sarada

Devi!!!

>

> "Brian McKee" <brian@s...>

>

> Fri, 13 Feb 2004 18:02:39 -0500 (EST)

>

> The dual nature of desire.

>

>

> I learned something a couple of days ago. Well, "learned" as a

word doesn't

> do it justice. I guess it was a realization.

>

> Desire, which is considered to be one of the biggest obstacles to

a person's

> spritual progress, also happens to be the most powerful tool at

his disposal

> for spiritual enlightenment.

>

> RamakKrishna, when he was young, was felt to be a bit off (to put

it

> nicely), because he ran around crying to Murti's, "Maa! Maa!

Please Maa!"

>

> I now understand why he did that. He knew consciousness existed

but had not

> yet experienced it. He had seen the goddess on the mount but had

not yet

> become her husband. Ramakrishna desired mother so badly that he

lost himself

> to the desire and thus enabled her to enter into his body.

>

> What I learned is simply that if I desire the goddess to come to

me, if I

> can build the desire to the fullness of my being, if I can build

that desire

> even greater than my fears of self anihilation, then goddess will

come to

> me. Consciousness will come.

>

> This is not a mental process, this is a process that relates to

feeling. You

> can feel her in your body as you literally lust after her long a

teenage boy

> lusts after a runway model. This lust is not physical, that

example was just

> a metaphor.

>

> Yesterday, while waiting to see my doctor I practiced two

techniques of

> meditation. One was to feel my body and ignore my thoughts. Its

just

> allowing myself to feel my body. The second is to desire goddess.

Literally

> call for her, want her, need her, desire her with all my heart and

soul.

>

> "Maa, Maa, Please Maa! Come into my heart and make me one with

you!"

>

> The result was an eyes open meditation like I've never experienced

before. I

> could feel her energy within me. I could feel the cells in my body

charging

> with consciousness.

>

> It is such a wonderful feeling that I've asked her for a

boon. "Please

> mother, let me desire you for the rest of eternity."

>

> Namaste,

>

> Brian

>

>

>

>

>

> "In the begining, the universe was created. This has made a lot of

people

> very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -- Douglas

Adams, The

> Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy Radio Program.

>

>

>

>

> No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding.

> Introducing My Way - http://www.myway.com

>

>

>

> Links

>

> /

>

>

>

> <?

subject=Un>

>

> Terms of Service

> <> .

/

<?subject=Un>

Terms of Service

<> .

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Share on other sites

those word, "i don't know this path very well" are so touching.

 

yes faith! that's what the little plant has.

 

mind is like some kinda instrument isn't it? and an instrument can

be powerful, or it can even break.

 

that faith, maybe it is like, you reach to the beyond, maybe a hand

will help you, maybe not, but you reach. there, you are

strengthening your faith in the act of it. it has nothing to do

with, will i or won't i, can i or can't i ... it is more like I MUST.

 

of course it is that joyous resonance with the divine mother that is

so compelling!

 

without that i am a little snail sliming up a great tree. still, i

must climb. it is joyous to make this journey, it is what a snail

must do.

 

peace to you oh ardis. yes, i truly know nothing, on this

bhakti journey to jnana. it is liberating for me, to hear the guru

so humble.

 

steve c.

 

 

, Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

wrote:

> Steve,

> I have heard Maa speak on several occasions about the importance

of faith.

>

> Have you ever heard her sing the song "Please Take My Hand

Lord" ? It is an

> incredibly beautiful experience to hear her sing this song because

she sings

> it from the depth of her divine heart. Here's how it

goes. "Please take

> my hand my Lord and show me the way. I don't know this path very

well.

> (repeat) I fully rely on you, I trust you with all my heart.

Beyond you I

> know of no one else. Today you are the King of my heart. Today I

can see

> Your Beauty. Undeniably it is true without the slightest doubt,

NOTHING can

> break this bond of faith."

>

> She sings this song to Thakur Sri Ramakrishna, her guru and her

Beloved

> Lord.

>

> To me the song is a prayer of great depth because it speaks of how

deeply

> Maa relies on Divinity and trusts God with all her heart. It is

the bond of

> faith with Ramakrishna that has kept her going her entire life

through many

> trials and tribulations. It is her faith in Divinity, whether one

sees that

> Divinity as Lord Shiva or Kali or Chandi or Ramakrishna, that

lights her

> path and the lives of all who come in contact with her.

>

> Jai Shree Maa !! Jai Sri Ramakrishna Ki Jai !!

>

> "bingo_ridley" <bingo_ridley>

>

> Sat, 14 Feb 2004 01:55:49 -0000

>

> Re: The dual nature of desire. ... hey ho

ardis

>

>

> ardis i read in one of the books maa or swami said no tattva was

> over another. i was surprised at that interpretation, i thought

> sattwa was always desired. but then i see the meaning a little

> differently now, all the qualities are part of existence.

>

> i fell under the spell of this maa very recently. i wanted to write

> to her in long-hand like a little man would do maybe in the 2nd to

> 4th grade. how ridiculous, i thought i was finally losing it

(haha.)

>

> and then i was fearful she would hurt me, if i trusted too much.

> again, how crazy! i just want her to see me, or to see her. how

> silly. am i not an adult person? ha!

>

> over time love kind of gets stuck or something and then she ignites

> it in this very different way. she bridges the little details like

> cutting carrots into god practice. not in some conceptual way like

> zen either.

>

> i was even afraid, maybe the devotion for the divine mother would

be

> too great, it would block my passage to god. this sort of thing

> always seemed sort of silly ... even saccharine to me ... different

> now that i am experiencing it for myself.

>

> well i see that as part of the devotional life. there are these ups

> and downs. fortunately for me some long analysis of things has

shown

> all is relative. there are movements that are so massive, and there

> is the cosmic mandir of no relative size at all.

>

> i almost died in a car accident not that long ago, maybe 2 years.

in

> the emergency room i looked up at the lights and had no fear of

> death, but there was also no "other" or love-center there. only an

> emptiness. i resolved to address that, and changed some of my ways.

>

> always learning, unlearning, etc.

>

> steve c.

>

>

> , Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

> wrote:

> > That is so very beautiful Brian.

> >

> > I am not much good at self analysis. but I have been told that I

> have a

> > predominance of rajas over tamas and sattwa. When I was told

> this, it hurt

> > my feelings a little bit. I wanted to see myself as very

> sattwic. But I

> > have come to see that it is my rajasic tendency that has

propelled

> me into

> > being a bhakta and given me the energy to fall in love with

> Divinity and

> > carry on my sadhana for the last 11 years.

> >

> > Sometimes I am put in the mood of a baby or a small child and I

> just call

> > Maa, Maa, Maa, Maa over and over again. And even though I keep

on

> crying, I

> > am very aware of Her presence. I just keep on crying because I

> don't want

> > Her to leave or set me down (just like a spoiled baby). I am now

> at a point

> > that I can feel Her working through me, using my eyes and hands

> and feet;

> > taking me places; giving me jobs to do. When I, Ardis, don't

know

> where

> > something is (keys, glasses, papers) I just ask Her and she

points

> my eyes

> > and hands in the right direction. She can see through things.

> This morning

> > She found my glasses under a thick sleeping bag. I always am sure

> to thank

> > Her.

> >

> > My father's favorite hymn was "In the Garden". It goes like

> this: "I walk

> > in the Garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses. And

the

> Voice I

> > hear, whispering in my ear, the Son of God discloses. And He

> walks with me

> > and He talks with me and He tells me I am His Own. And the joy I

> bear as I

> > tarry there, few other have ever known." It reminds me of Sri

> Ramakrishna

> > walking in the gardens at Dakshineshwar with his Beloved Mother

> Kali. This

> > is the song of the bhakta walking in a daily walk with their

ishta

> devata.

> > Ramakrishna blessed all of us with his ability to move back and

> forth

> > between the life of the bhakta and the life of complete and total

> absorption

> > and Divine Union. Just as eternity is a single moment, Sri

> Ramakrishna is

> > very much with us in each moment. As are Shree Maa and Swami

> Satyananda

> > Saraswati.

> >

> > Jai Maa!!! Jai Swamiji!!! Jai Ramakrishna!!! Jai Sarada

> Devi!!!

> >

> > "Brian McKee" <brian@s...>

> >

> > Fri, 13 Feb 2004 18:02:39 -0500 (EST)

> >

> > The dual nature of desire.

> >

> >

> > I learned something a couple of days ago. Well, "learned" as a

> word doesn't

> > do it justice. I guess it was a realization.

> >

> > Desire, which is considered to be one of the biggest obstacles to

> a person's

> > spritual progress, also happens to be the most powerful tool at

> his disposal

> > for spiritual enlightenment.

> >

> > RamakKrishna, when he was young, was felt to be a bit off (to put

> it

> > nicely), because he ran around crying to Murti's, "Maa! Maa!

> Please Maa!"

> >

> > I now understand why he did that. He knew consciousness existed

> but had not

> > yet experienced it. He had seen the goddess on the mount but had

> not yet

> > become her husband. Ramakrishna desired mother so badly that he

> lost himself

> > to the desire and thus enabled her to enter into his body.

> >

> > What I learned is simply that if I desire the goddess to come to

> me, if I

> > can build the desire to the fullness of my being, if I can build

> that desire

> > even greater than my fears of self anihilation, then goddess will

> come to

> > me. Consciousness will come.

> >

> > This is not a mental process, this is a process that relates to

> feeling. You

> > can feel her in your body as you literally lust after her long a

> teenage boy

> > lusts after a runway model. This lust is not physical, that

> example was just

> > a metaphor.

> >

> > Yesterday, while waiting to see my doctor I practiced two

> techniques of

> > meditation. One was to feel my body and ignore my thoughts. Its

> just

> > allowing myself to feel my body. The second is to desire goddess.

> Literally

> > call for her, want her, need her, desire her with all my heart

and

> soul.

> >

> > "Maa, Maa, Please Maa! Come into my heart and make me one with

> you!"

> >

> > The result was an eyes open meditation like I've never

experienced

> before. I

> > could feel her energy within me. I could feel the cells in my

body

> charging

> > with consciousness.

> >

> > It is such a wonderful feeling that I've asked her for a

> boon. "Please

> > mother, let me desire you for the rest of eternity."

> >

> > Namaste,

> >

> > Brian

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > "In the begining, the universe was created. This has made a lot

of

> people

> > very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -- Douglas

> Adams, The

> > Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy Radio Program.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding.

> > Introducing My Way - http://www.myway.com

> >

> >

> >

> > Links

> >

> > /

> >

> >

> >

> > <?

> subject=Un>

> >

> > Terms of

Service

> > <> .

Links

>

> /

>

>

>

> <?

subject=Un>

>

> Terms of Service

> <> .

Link to comment
Share on other sites

and humble She is.... Truly amazing. I remember my shock when I saw

Her serving dinner to 40-50 people at the Saturday night satsang in

the Martinez temple... sitting on the floor with them. Then I found

out later that She had prepared all the food Herself! I fell in love

with Her and Swamiji and the whole Devi Mandir Family. So much love

and simplicity. Gurus who truly teach by their example. They taught

me the joy of worship and the importance of a regular rhythm of

sadhana. And their humility does wonders for poking holes in egoism

and pomposity and self-righteousness. When they ask us to join in

the joy of worship, they mean JOY. Nothing stuffy or dull. They

invite us into the holy love affair with God and they show us how to

spread the table and make our altars inviting to God. I'd say

Hallelujah ! but I guess in this context I need to phrase it Jai Maa

!!

"bingo_ridley" <bingo_ridley >

Sat, 14 Feb 2004 03:45:14 -0000

Re: The dual nature of desire. ... hey ho ardis

those word, "i don't know this path very well" are so touching.

yes faith! that's what the little plant has.

mind is like some kinda instrument isn't it? and an instrument can

be powerful, or it can even break.

that faith, maybe it is like, you reach to the beyond, maybe a hand

will help you, maybe not, but you reach. there, you are

strengthening your faith in the act of it. it has nothing to do

with, will i or won't i, can i or can't i ... it is more like I MUST.

of course it is that joyous resonance with the divine mother that is

so compelling!

without that i am a little snail sliming up a great tree. still, i

must climb. it is joyous to make this journey, it is what a snail

must do.

peace to you oh ardis. yes, i truly know nothing, on this

bhakti journey to jnana. it is liberating for me, to hear the guru

so humble.

steve c.

, Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

wrote:

> Steve,

> I have heard Maa speak on several occasions about the importance

of faith.

>

> Have you ever heard her sing the song "Please Take My Hand

Lord" ? It is an

> incredibly beautiful experience to hear her sing this song because

she sings

> it from the depth of her divine heart. Here's how it

goes. "Please take

> my hand my Lord and show me the way. I don't know this path very

well.

> (repeat) I fully rely on you, I trust you with all my heart.

Beyond you I

> know of no one else. Today you are the King of my heart. Today I

can see

> Your Beauty. Undeniably it is true without the slightest doubt,

NOTHING can

> break this bond of faith."

>

> She sings this song to Thakur Sri Ramakrishna, her guru and her

Beloved

> Lord.

>

> To me the song is a prayer of great depth because it speaks of how

deeply

> Maa relies on Divinity and trusts God with all her heart. It is

the bond of

> faith with Ramakrishna that has kept her going her entire life

through many

> trials and tribulations. It is her faith in Divinity, whether one

sees that

> Divinity as Lord Shiva or Kali or Chandi or Ramakrishna, that

lights her

> path and the lives of all who come in contact with her.

>

> Jai Shree Maa !! Jai Sri Ramakrishna Ki Jai !!

>

> "bingo_ridley" <bingo_ridley>

>

> Sat, 14 Feb 2004 01:55:49 -0000

>

> Re: The dual nature of desire. ... hey ho

ardis

>

>

> ardis i read in one of the books maa or swami said no tattva was

> over another. i was surprised at that interpretation, i thought

> sattwa was always desired. but then i see the meaning a little

> differently now, all the qualities are part of existence.

>

> i fell under the spell of this maa very recently. i wanted to write

> to her in long-hand like a little man would do maybe in the 2nd to

> 4th grade. how ridiculous, i thought i was finally losing it

(haha.)

>

> and then i was fearful she would hurt me, if i trusted too much.

> again, how crazy! i just want her to see me, or to see her. how

> silly. am i not an adult person? ha!

>

> over time love kind of gets stuck or something and then she ignites

> it in this very different way. she bridges the little details like

> cutting carrots into god practice. not in some conceptual way like

> zen either.

>

> i was even afraid, maybe the devotion for the divine mother would

be

> too great, it would block my passage to god. this sort of thing

> always seemed sort of silly ... even saccharine to me ... different

> now that i am experiencing it for myself.

>

> well i see that as part of the devotional life. there are these ups

> and downs. fortunately for me some long analysis of things has

shown

> all is relative. there are movements that are so massive, and there

> is the cosmic mandir of no relative size at all.

>

> i almost died in a car accident not that long ago, maybe 2 years.

in

> the emergency room i looked up at the lights and had no fear of

> death, but there was also no "other" or love-center there. only an

> emptiness. i resolved to address that, and changed some of my ways.

>

> always learning, unlearning, etc.

>

> steve c.

>

>

> , Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

> wrote:

> > That is so very beautiful Brian.

> >

> > I am not much good at self analysis. but I have been told that I

> have a

> > predominance of rajas over tamas and sattwa. When I was told

> this, it hurt

> > my feelings a little bit. I wanted to see myself as very

> sattwic. But I

> > have come to see that it is my rajasic tendency that has

propelled

> me into

> > being a bhakta and given me the energy to fall in love with

> Divinity and

> > carry on my sadhana for the last 11 years.

> >

> > Sometimes I am put in the mood of a baby or a small child and I

> just call

> > Maa, Maa, Maa, Maa over and over again. And even though I keep

on

> crying, I

> > am very aware of Her presence. I just keep on crying because I

> don't want

> > Her to leave or set me down (just like a spoiled baby). I am now

> at a point

> > that I can feel Her working through me, using my eyes and hands

> and feet;

> > taking me places; giving me jobs to do. When I, Ardis, don't

know

> where

> > something is (keys, glasses, papers) I just ask Her and she

points

> my eyes

> > and hands in the right direction. She can see through things.

> This morning

> > She found my glasses under a thick sleeping bag. I always am sure

> to thank

> > Her.

> >

> > My father's favorite hymn was "In the Garden". It goes like

> this: "I walk

> > in the Garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses. And

the

> Voice I

> > hear, whispering in my ear, the Son of God discloses. And He

> walks with me

> > and He talks with me and He tells me I am His Own. And the joy I

> bear as I

> > tarry there, few other have ever known." It reminds me of Sri

> Ramakrishna

> > walking in the gardens at Dakshineshwar with his Beloved Mother

> Kali. This

> > is the song of the bhakta walking in a daily walk with their

ishta

> devata.

> > Ramakrishna blessed all of us with his ability to move back and

> forth

> > between the life of the bhakta and the life of complete and total

> absorption

> > and Divine Union. Just as eternity is a single moment, Sri

> Ramakrishna is

> > very much with us in each moment. As are Shree Maa and Swami

> Satyananda

> > Saraswati.

> >

> > Jai Maa!!! Jai Swamiji!!! Jai Ramakrishna!!! Jai Sarada

> Devi!!!

> >

> > "Brian McKee" <brian@s...>

> >

> > Fri, 13 Feb 2004 18:02:39 -0500 (EST)

> >

> > The dual nature of desire.

> >

> >

> > I learned something a couple of days ago. Well, "learned" as a

> word doesn't

> > do it justice. I guess it was a realization.

> >

> > Desire, which is considered to be one of the biggest obstacles to

> a person's

> > spritual progress, also happens to be the most powerful tool at

> his disposal

> > for spiritual enlightenment.

> >

> > RamakKrishna, when he was young, was felt to be a bit off (to put

> it

> > nicely), because he ran around crying to Murti's, "Maa! Maa!

> Please Maa!"

> >

> > I now understand why he did that. He knew consciousness existed

> but had not

> > yet experienced it. He had seen the goddess on the mount but had

> not yet

> > become her husband. Ramakrishna desired mother so badly that he

> lost himself

> > to the desire and thus enabled her to enter into his body.

> >

> > What I learned is simply that if I desire the goddess to come to

> me, if I

> > can build the desire to the fullness of my being, if I can build

> that desire

> > even greater than my fears of self anihilation, then goddess will

> come to

> > me. Consciousness will come.

> >

> > This is not a mental process, this is a process that relates to

> feeling. You

> > can feel her in your body as you literally lust after her long a

> teenage boy

> > lusts after a runway model. This lust is not physical, that

> example was just

> > a metaphor.

> >

> > Yesterday, while waiting to see my doctor I practiced two

> techniques of

> > meditation. One was to feel my body and ignore my thoughts. Its

> just

> > allowing myself to feel my body. The second is to desire goddess.

> Literally

> > call for her, want her, need her, desire her with all my heart

and

> soul.

> >

> > "Maa, Maa, Please Maa! Come into my heart and make me one with

> you!"

> >

> > The result was an eyes open meditation like I've never

experienced

> before. I

> > could feel her energy within me. I could feel the cells in my

body

> charging

> > with consciousness.

> >

> > It is such a wonderful feeling that I've asked her for a

> boon. "Please

> > mother, let me desire you for the rest of eternity."

> >

> > Namaste,

> >

> > Brian

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > "In the begining, the universe was created. This has made a lot

of

> people

> > very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -- Douglas

> Adams, The

> > Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy Radio Program.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding.

> > Introducing My Way - http://www.myway.com

> >

> >

> >

> > Links

> >

> > /

> >

> >

> >

> > <?

> subject=Un>

> >

> > Terms of

Service

> > <> .

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Links

>

> /

>

>

>

> <?

subject=Un>

>

> Terms of Service

> <> .

/

<?subject=Un>

Terms of Service

<> .

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ardis i am glad you posted back. i don't want to be a pest but this

is all of great interest.

 

this example thing, basic human humility, in the GREATER CONTEXT OF

REALIZATION AND AUTHENTIC PRACTICE ... this is a definite "wow!"

 

working hard at god and doing spiritual life authentically, with

some foundation, that is impressive. add to it some real heart and

living sense of the divine sacred and you have something better than

all the world's riches.

 

steve

 

, Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

wrote:

> and humble She is.... Truly amazing. I remember my shock when I

saw Her

> serving dinner to 40-50 people at the Saturday night satsang in

the Martinez

> temple... sitting on the floor with them. Then I found out later

that She

> had prepared all the food Herself! I fell in love with Her and

Swamiji and

> the whole Devi Mandir Family. So much love and simplicity. Gurus

who truly

> teach by their example. They taught me the joy of worship and the

> importance of a regular rhythm of sadhana. And their humility

does wonders

> for poking holes in egoism and pomposity and self-righteousness.

When they

> ask us to join in the joy of worship, they mean JOY. Nothing

stuffy or

> dull. They invite us into the holy love affair with God and they

show us

> how to spread the table and make our altars inviting to God. I'd

say

> Hallelujah ! but I guess in this context I need to phrase it Jai

Maa !!

>

> "bingo_ridley" <bingo_ridley>

>

> Sat, 14 Feb 2004 03:45:14 -0000

>

> Re: The dual nature of desire. ... hey ho

ardis

>

>

> those word, "i don't know this path very well" are so touching.

>

> yes faith! that's what the little plant has.

>

> mind is like some kinda instrument isn't it? and an instrument can

> be powerful, or it can even break.

>

> that faith, maybe it is like, you reach to the beyond, maybe a hand

> will help you, maybe not, but you reach. there, you are

> strengthening your faith in the act of it. it has nothing to do

> with, will i or won't i, can i or can't i ... it is more like I

MUST.

>

> of course it is that joyous resonance with the divine mother that

is

> so compelling!

>

> without that i am a little snail sliming up a great tree. still, i

> must climb. it is joyous to make this journey, it is what a snail

> must do.

>

> peace to you oh ardis. yes, i truly know nothing, on this

> bhakti journey to jnana. it is liberating for me, to hear the guru

> so humble.

>

> steve c.

>

>

> , Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

> wrote:

> > Steve,

> > I have heard Maa speak on several occasions about the importance

> of faith.

> >

> > Have you ever heard her sing the song "Please Take My Hand

> Lord" ? It is an

> > incredibly beautiful experience to hear her sing this song

because

> she sings

> > it from the depth of her divine heart. Here's how it

> goes. "Please take

> > my hand my Lord and show me the way. I don't know this path very

> well.

> > (repeat) I fully rely on you, I trust you with all my heart.

> Beyond you I

> > know of no one else. Today you are the King of my heart. Today

I

> can see

> > Your Beauty. Undeniably it is true without the slightest doubt,

> NOTHING can

> > break this bond of faith."

> >

> > She sings this song to Thakur Sri Ramakrishna, her guru and her

> Beloved

> > Lord.

> >

> > To me the song is a prayer of great depth because it speaks of

how

> deeply

> > Maa relies on Divinity and trusts God with all her heart. It is

> the bond of

> > faith with Ramakrishna that has kept her going her entire life

> through many

> > trials and tribulations. It is her faith in Divinity, whether

one

> sees that

> > Divinity as Lord Shiva or Kali or Chandi or Ramakrishna, that

> lights her

> > path and the lives of all who come in contact with her.

> >

> > Jai Shree Maa !! Jai Sri Ramakrishna Ki Jai !!

> >

> > "bingo_ridley" <bingo_ridley>

> >

> > Sat, 14 Feb 2004 01:55:49 -0000

> >

> > Re: The dual nature of desire. ... hey ho

> ardis

> >

> >

> > ardis i read in one of the books maa or swami said no tattva was

> > over another. i was surprised at that interpretation, i thought

> > sattwa was always desired. but then i see the meaning a little

> > differently now, all the qualities are part of existence.

> >

> > i fell under the spell of this maa very recently. i wanted to

write

> > to her in long-hand like a little man would do maybe in the 2nd

to

> > 4th grade. how ridiculous, i thought i was finally losing it

> (haha.)

> >

> > and then i was fearful she would hurt me, if i trusted too much.

> > again, how crazy! i just want her to see me, or to see her. how

> > silly. am i not an adult person? ha!

> >

> > over time love kind of gets stuck or something and then she

ignites

> > it in this very different way. she bridges the little details

like

> > cutting carrots into god practice. not in some conceptual way

like

> > zen either.

> >

> > i was even afraid, maybe the devotion for the divine mother would

> be

> > too great, it would block my passage to god. this sort of thing

> > always seemed sort of silly ... even saccharine to me ...

different

> > now that i am experiencing it for myself.

> >

> > well i see that as part of the devotional life. there are these

ups

> > and downs. fortunately for me some long analysis of things has

> shown

> > all is relative. there are movements that are so massive, and

there

> > is the cosmic mandir of no relative size at all.

> >

> > i almost died in a car accident not that long ago, maybe 2 years.

> in

> > the emergency room i looked up at the lights and had no fear of

> > death, but there was also no "other" or love-center there. only

an

> > emptiness. i resolved to address that, and changed some of my

ways.

> >

> > always learning, unlearning, etc.

> >

> > steve c.

> >

> >

> > , Ardis Jackson

<anandamama@e...>

> > wrote:

> > > That is so very beautiful Brian.

> > >

> > > I am not much good at self analysis. but I have been told that

I

> > have a

> > > predominance of rajas over tamas and sattwa. When I was told

> > this, it hurt

> > > my feelings a little bit. I wanted to see myself as very

> > sattwic. But I

> > > have come to see that it is my rajasic tendency that has

> propelled

> > me into

> > > being a bhakta and given me the energy to fall in love with

> > Divinity and

> > > carry on my sadhana for the last 11 years.

> > >

> > > Sometimes I am put in the mood of a baby or a small child and I

> > just call

> > > Maa, Maa, Maa, Maa over and over again. And even though I keep

> on

> > crying, I

> > > am very aware of Her presence. I just keep on crying because I

> > don't want

> > > Her to leave or set me down (just like a spoiled baby). I am

now

> > at a point

> > > that I can feel Her working through me, using my eyes and hands

> > and feet;

> > > taking me places; giving me jobs to do. When I, Ardis, don't

> know

> > where

> > > something is (keys, glasses, papers) I just ask Her and she

> points

> > my eyes

> > > and hands in the right direction. She can see through things.

> > This morning

> > > She found my glasses under a thick sleeping bag. I always am

sure

> > to thank

> > > Her.

> > >

> > > My father's favorite hymn was "In the Garden". It goes like

> > this: "I walk

> > > in the Garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses. And

> the

> > Voice I

> > > hear, whispering in my ear, the Son of God discloses. And He

> > walks with me

> > > and He talks with me and He tells me I am His Own. And the

joy I

> > bear as I

> > > tarry there, few other have ever known." It reminds me of Sri

> > Ramakrishna

> > > walking in the gardens at Dakshineshwar with his Beloved Mother

> > Kali. This

> > > is the song of the bhakta walking in a daily walk with their

> ishta

> > devata.

> > > Ramakrishna blessed all of us with his ability to move back and

> > forth

> > > between the life of the bhakta and the life of complete and

total

> > absorption

> > > and Divine Union. Just as eternity is a single moment, Sri

> > Ramakrishna is

> > > very much with us in each moment. As are Shree Maa and Swami

> > Satyananda

> > > Saraswati.

> > >

> > > Jai Maa!!! Jai Swamiji!!! Jai Ramakrishna!!! Jai Sarada

> > Devi!!!

> > >

> > > "Brian McKee" <brian@s...>

> > >

> > > Fri, 13 Feb 2004 18:02:39 -0500 (EST)

> > >

> > > The dual nature of desire.

> > >

> > >

> > > I learned something a couple of days ago. Well, "learned" as a

> > word doesn't

> > > do it justice. I guess it was a realization.

> > >

> > > Desire, which is considered to be one of the biggest obstacles

to

> > a person's

> > > spritual progress, also happens to be the most powerful tool at

> > his disposal

> > > for spiritual enlightenment.

> > >

> > > RamakKrishna, when he was young, was felt to be a bit off (to

put

> > it

> > > nicely), because he ran around crying to Murti's, "Maa! Maa!

> > Please Maa!"

> > >

> > > I now understand why he did that. He knew consciousness existed

> > but had not

> > > yet experienced it. He had seen the goddess on the mount but

had

> > not yet

> > > become her husband. Ramakrishna desired mother so badly that he

> > lost himself

> > > to the desire and thus enabled her to enter into his body.

> > >

> > > What I learned is simply that if I desire the goddess to come

to

> > me, if I

> > > can build the desire to the fullness of my being, if I can

build

> > that desire

> > > even greater than my fears of self anihilation, then goddess

will

> > come to

> > > me. Consciousness will come.

> > >

> > > This is not a mental process, this is a process that relates to

> > feeling. You

> > > can feel her in your body as you literally lust after her long

a

> > teenage boy

> > > lusts after a runway model. This lust is not physical, that

> > example was just

> > > a metaphor.

> > >

> > > Yesterday, while waiting to see my doctor I practiced two

> > techniques of

> > > meditation. One was to feel my body and ignore my thoughts. Its

> > just

> > > allowing myself to feel my body. The second is to desire

goddess.

> > Literally

> > > call for her, want her, need her, desire her with all my heart

> and

> > soul.

> > >

> > > "Maa, Maa, Please Maa! Come into my heart and make me one with

> > you!"

> > >

> > > The result was an eyes open meditation like I've never

> experienced

> > before. I

> > > could feel her energy within me. I could feel the cells in my

> body

> > charging

> > > with consciousness.

> > >

> > > It is such a wonderful feeling that I've asked her for a

> > boon. "Please

> > > mother, let me desire you for the rest of eternity."

> > >

> > > Namaste,

> > >

> > > Brian

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > "In the begining, the universe was created. This has made a lot

> of

> > people

> > > very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -- Douglas

> > Adams, The

> > > Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy Radio Program.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding.

> > > Introducing My Way - http://www.myway.com

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Links

> > >

> > > /

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > <?

> > subject=Un>

> > >

> > > Terms of

> Service

> > > <> .

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Links

> >

> > /

> >

> >

> >

> > <?

> subject=Un>

> >

> > Terms of

Service

> > <> .

Links

>

> /

>

>

>

> <?

subject=Un>

>

> Terms of Service

> <> .

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when you say "it is joyous to make this journey" that is such a

wondrous discovery and realization. Too many people see life as a

big pain. I remember when I was a young woman and practicing Zazen

for a couple of years, I suddenly realized one day that I had gone

beyond pain. No physical pain. No mental pain or distraction. No

emotional pain. Just absorption and peace. It was quite amazing.

Then life became a joyous adventure for me.

Shree Maa told me one day "you will come to a crossroads where you

have to choose joy or peace. Always choose peace." At the time I

did not really understand what she was telling me. Now I know. Peace

is the ultimate state of being while still in separation. It is the

platform you sit on to prepare for Divine Union. Joy would be a

distraction. It is also easy to become attached to bliss. Peace is

more steady. When you see Maa or Swamiji in samadhi, total

absorption, they are sitting on the asan of peace, wrapped in a shawl

of peace and released from all concerns. They exude peace in all of

the ten directions. Jai Maa !!

"bingo_ridley" <bingo_ridley >

Sat, 14 Feb 2004 03:45:14 -0000

Re: The dual nature of desire. ... hey ho ardis

those word, "i don't know this path very well" are so touching.

yes faith! that's what the little plant has.

mind is like some kinda instrument isn't it? and an instrument can

be powerful, or it can even break.

that faith, maybe it is like, you reach to the beyond, maybe a hand

will help you, maybe not, but you reach. there, you are

strengthening your faith in the act of it. it has nothing to do

with, will i or won't i, can i or can't i ... it is more like I MUST.

of course it is that joyous resonance with the divine mother that is

so compelling!

without that i am a little snail sliming up a great tree. still, i

must climb. it is joyous to make this journey, it is what a snail

must do.

peace to you oh ardis. yes, i truly know nothing, on this

bhakti journey to jnana. it is liberating for me, to hear the guru

so humble.

steve c.

, Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

wrote:

> Steve,

> I have heard Maa speak on several occasions about the importance

of faith.

>

> Have you ever heard her sing the song "Please Take My Hand

Lord" ? It is an

> incredibly beautiful experience to hear her sing this song because

she sings

> it from the depth of her divine heart. Here's how it

goes. "Please take

> my hand my Lord and show me the way. I don't know this path very

well.

> (repeat) I fully rely on you, I trust you with all my heart.

Beyond you I

> know of no one else. Today you are the King of my heart. Today I

can see

> Your Beauty. Undeniably it is true without the slightest doubt,

NOTHING can

> break this bond of faith."

>

> She sings this song to Thakur Sri Ramakrishna, her guru and her

Beloved

> Lord.

>

> To me the song is a prayer of great depth because it speaks of how

deeply

> Maa relies on Divinity and trusts God with all her heart. It is

the bond of

> faith with Ramakrishna that has kept her going her entire life

through many

> trials and tribulations. It is her faith in Divinity, whether one

sees that

> Divinity as Lord Shiva or Kali or Chandi or Ramakrishna, that

lights her

> path and the lives of all who come in contact with her.

>

> Jai Shree Maa !! Jai Sri Ramakrishna Ki Jai !!

>

> "bingo_ridley" <bingo_ridley>

>

> Sat, 14 Feb 2004 01:55:49 -0000

>

> Re: The dual nature of desire. ... hey ho

ardis

>

>

> ardis i read in one of the books maa or swami said no tattva was

> over another. i was surprised at that interpretation, i thought

> sattwa was always desired. but then i see the meaning a little

> differently now, all the qualities are part of existence.

>

> i fell under the spell of this maa very recently. i wanted to write

> to her in long-hand like a little man would do maybe in the 2nd to

> 4th grade. how ridiculous, i thought i was finally losing it

(haha.)

>

> and then i was fearful she would hurt me, if i trusted too much.

> again, how crazy! i just want her to see me, or to see her. how

> silly. am i not an adult person? ha!

>

> over time love kind of gets stuck or something and then she ignites

> it in this very different way. she bridges the little details like

> cutting carrots into god practice. not in some conceptual way like

> zen either.

>

> i was even afraid, maybe the devotion for the divine mother would

be

> too great, it would block my passage to god. this sort of thing

> always seemed sort of silly ... even saccharine to me ... different

> now that i am experiencing it for myself.

>

> well i see that as part of the devotional life. there are these ups

> and downs. fortunately for me some long analysis of things has

shown

> all is relative. there are movements that are so massive, and there

> is the cosmic mandir of no relative size at all.

>

> i almost died in a car accident not that long ago, maybe 2 years.

in

> the emergency room i looked up at the lights and had no fear of

> death, but there was also no "other" or love-center there. only an

> emptiness. i resolved to address that, and changed some of my ways.

>

> always learning, unlearning, etc.

>

> steve c.

>

>

> , Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

> wrote:

> > That is so very beautiful Brian.

> >

> > I am not much good at self analysis. but I have been told that I

> have a

> > predominance of rajas over tamas and sattwa. When I was told

> this, it hurt

> > my feelings a little bit. I wanted to see myself as very

> sattwic. But I

> > have come to see that it is my rajasic tendency that has

propelled

> me into

> > being a bhakta and given me the energy to fall in love with

> Divinity and

> > carry on my sadhana for the last 11 years.

> >

> > Sometimes I am put in the mood of a baby or a small child and I

> just call

> > Maa, Maa, Maa, Maa over and over again. And even though I keep

on

> crying, I

> > am very aware of Her presence. I just keep on crying because I

> don't want

> > Her to leave or set me down (just like a spoiled baby). I am now

> at a point

> > that I can feel Her working through me, using my eyes and hands

> and feet;

> > taking me places; giving me jobs to do. When I, Ardis, don't

know

> where

> > something is (keys, glasses, papers) I just ask Her and she

points

> my eyes

> > and hands in the right direction. She can see through things.

> This morning

> > She found my glasses under a thick sleeping bag. I always am sure

> to thank

> > Her.

> >

> > My father's favorite hymn was "In the Garden". It goes like

> this: "I walk

> > in the Garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses. And

the

> Voice I

> > hear, whispering in my ear, the Son of God discloses. And He

> walks with me

> > and He talks with me and He tells me I am His Own. And the joy I

> bear as I

> > tarry there, few other have ever known." It reminds me of Sri

> Ramakrishna

> > walking in the gardens at Dakshineshwar with his Beloved Mother

> Kali. This

> > is the song of the bhakta walking in a daily walk with their

ishta

> devata.

> > Ramakrishna blessed all of us with his ability to move back and

> forth

> > between the life of the bhakta and the life of complete and total

> absorption

> > and Divine Union. Just as eternity is a single moment, Sri

> Ramakrishna is

> > very much with us in each moment. As are Shree Maa and Swami

> Satyananda

> > Saraswati.

> >

> > Jai Maa!!! Jai Swamiji!!! Jai Ramakrishna!!! Jai Sarada

> Devi!!!

> >

> > "Brian McKee" <brian@s...>

> >

> > Fri, 13 Feb 2004 18:02:39 -0500 (EST)

> >

> > The dual nature of desire.

> >

> >

> > I learned something a couple of days ago. Well, "learned" as a

> word doesn't

> > do it justice. I guess it was a realization.

> >

> > Desire, which is considered to be one of the biggest obstacles to

> a person's

> > spritual progress, also happens to be the most powerful tool at

> his disposal

> > for spiritual enlightenment.

> >

> > RamakKrishna, when he was young, was felt to be a bit off (to put

> it

> > nicely), because he ran around crying to Murti's, "Maa! Maa!

> Please Maa!"

> >

> > I now understand why he did that. He knew consciousness existed

> but had not

> > yet experienced it. He had seen the goddess on the mount but had

> not yet

> > become her husband. Ramakrishna desired mother so badly that he

> lost himself

> > to the desire and thus enabled her to enter into his body.

> >

> > What I learned is simply that if I desire the goddess to come to

> me, if I

> > can build the desire to the fullness of my being, if I can build

> that desire

> > even greater than my fears of self anihilation, then goddess will

> come to

> > me. Consciousness will come.

> >

> > This is not a mental process, this is a process that relates to

> feeling. You

> > can feel her in your body as you literally lust after her long a

> teenage boy

> > lusts after a runway model. This lust is not physical, that

> example was just

> > a metaphor.

> >

> > Yesterday, while waiting to see my doctor I practiced two

> techniques of

> > meditation. One was to feel my body and ignore my thoughts. Its

> just

> > allowing myself to feel my body. The second is to desire goddess.

> Literally

> > call for her, want her, need her, desire her with all my heart

and

> soul.

> >

> > "Maa, Maa, Please Maa! Come into my heart and make me one with

> you!"

> >

> > The result was an eyes open meditation like I've never

experienced

> before. I

> > could feel her energy within me. I could feel the cells in my

body

> charging

> > with consciousness.

> >

> > It is such a wonderful feeling that I've asked her for a

> boon. "Please

> > mother, let me desire you for the rest of eternity."

> >

> > Namaste,

> >

> > Brian

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > "In the begining, the universe was created. This has made a lot

of

> people

> > very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -- Douglas

> Adams, The

> > Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy Radio Program.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding.

> > Introducing My Way - http://www.myway.com

> >

> >

> >

> > Links

> >

> > /

> >

> >

> >

> > <?

> subject=Un>

> >

> > Terms of

Service

> > <> .

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Links

>

> /

>

>

>

> <?

subject=Un>

>

> Terms of Service

> <> .

/

<?subject=Un>

Terms of Service

<> .

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Share on other sites

There is no question that I feel very deeply that I have something

better than all the world's riches. I knew it the moment I sat down

in front of MahaLakshmi in their temple and the feeling just grew and

grew over the years. Sometimes I feel totally overwhelmed at the

grace I have received from them. I am so blessed.

"bingo_ridley" <bingo_ridley >

Sat, 14 Feb 2004 05:27:07 -0000

Re: The dual nature of desire. ... hey ho ardis

ardis i am glad you posted back. i don't want to be a pest but this

is all of great interest.

this example thing, basic human humility, in the GREATER CONTEXT OF

REALIZATION AND AUTHENTIC PRACTICE ... this is a definite "wow!"

working hard at god and doing spiritual life authentically, with

some foundation, that is impressive. add to it some real heart and

living sense of the divine sacred and you have something better than

all the world's riches.

steve

, Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

wrote:

> and humble She is.... Truly amazing. I remember my shock when I

saw Her

> serving dinner to 40-50 people at the Saturday night satsang in

the Martinez

> temple... sitting on the floor with them. Then I found out later

that She

> had prepared all the food Herself! I fell in love with Her and

Swamiji and

> the whole Devi Mandir Family. So much love and simplicity. Gurus

who truly

> teach by their example. They taught me the joy of worship and the

> importance of a regular rhythm of sadhana. And their humility

does wonders

> for poking holes in egoism and pomposity and self-righteousness.

When they

> ask us to join in the joy of worship, they mean JOY. Nothing

stuffy or

> dull. They invite us into the holy love affair with God and they

show us

> how to spread the table and make our altars inviting to God. I'd

say

> Hallelujah ! but I guess in this context I need to phrase it Jai

Maa !!

>

> "bingo_ridley" <bingo_ridley>

>

> Sat, 14 Feb 2004 03:45:14 -0000

>

> Re: The dual nature of desire. ... hey ho

ardis

>

>

> those word, "i don't know this path very well" are so touching.

>

> yes faith! that's what the little plant has.

>

> mind is like some kinda instrument isn't it? and an instrument can

> be powerful, or it can even break.

>

> that faith, maybe it is like, you reach to the beyond, maybe a hand

> will help you, maybe not, but you reach. there, you are

> strengthening your faith in the act of it. it has nothing to do

> with, will i or won't i, can i or can't i ... it is more like I

MUST.

>

> of course it is that joyous resonance with the divine mother that

is

> so compelling!

>

> without that i am a little snail sliming up a great tree. still, i

> must climb. it is joyous to make this journey, it is what a snail

> must do.

>

> peace to you oh ardis. yes, i truly know nothing, on this

> bhakti journey to jnana. it is liberating for me, to hear the guru

> so humble.

>

> steve c.

>

>

> , Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

> wrote:

> > Steve,

> > I have heard Maa speak on several occasions about the importance

> of faith.

> >

> > Have you ever heard her sing the song "Please Take My Hand

> Lord" ? It is an

> > incredibly beautiful experience to hear her sing this song

because

> she sings

> > it from the depth of her divine heart. Here's how it

> goes. "Please take

> > my hand my Lord and show me the way. I don't know this path very

> well.

> > (repeat) I fully rely on you, I trust you with all my heart.

> Beyond you I

> > know of no one else. Today you are the King of my heart. Today

I

> can see

> > Your Beauty. Undeniably it is true without the slightest doubt,

> NOTHING can

> > break this bond of faith."

> >

> > She sings this song to Thakur Sri Ramakrishna, her guru and her

> Beloved

> > Lord.

> >

> > To me the song is a prayer of great depth because it speaks of

how

> deeply

> > Maa relies on Divinity and trusts God with all her heart. It is

> the bond of

> > faith with Ramakrishna that has kept her going her entire life

> through many

> > trials and tribulations. It is her faith in Divinity, whether

one

> sees that

> > Divinity as Lord Shiva or Kali or Chandi or Ramakrishna, that

> lights her

> > path and the lives of all who come in contact with her.

> >

> > Jai Shree Maa !! Jai Sri Ramakrishna Ki Jai !!

> >

> > "bingo_ridley" <bingo_ridley>

> >

> > Sat, 14 Feb 2004 01:55:49 -0000

> >

> > Re: The dual nature of desire. ... hey ho

> ardis

> >

> >

> > ardis i read in one of the books maa or swami said no tattva was

> > over another. i was surprised at that interpretation, i thought

> > sattwa was always desired. but then i see the meaning a little

> > differently now, all the qualities are part of existence.

> >

> > i fell under the spell of this maa very recently. i wanted to

write

> > to her in long-hand like a little man would do maybe in the 2nd

to

> > 4th grade. how ridiculous, i thought i was finally losing it

> (haha.)

> >

> > and then i was fearful she would hurt me, if i trusted too much.

> > again, how crazy! i just want her to see me, or to see her. how

> > silly. am i not an adult person? ha!

> >

> > over time love kind of gets stuck or something and then she

ignites

> > it in this very different way. she bridges the little details

like

> > cutting carrots into god practice. not in some conceptual way

like

> > zen either.

> >

> > i was even afraid, maybe the devotion for the divine mother would

> be

> > too great, it would block my passage to god. this sort of thing

> > always seemed sort of silly ... even saccharine to me ...

different

> > now that i am experiencing it for myself.

> >

> > well i see that as part of the devotional life. there are these

ups

> > and downs. fortunately for me some long analysis of things has

> shown

> > all is relative. there are movements that are so massive, and

there

> > is the cosmic mandir of no relative size at all.

> >

> > i almost died in a car accident not that long ago, maybe 2 years.

> in

> > the emergency room i looked up at the lights and had no fear of

> > death, but there was also no "other" or love-center there. only

an

> > emptiness. i resolved to address that, and changed some of my

ways.

> >

> > always learning, unlearning, etc.

> >

> > steve c.

> >

> >

> > , Ardis Jackson

<anandamama@e...>

> > wrote:

> > > That is so very beautiful Brian.

> > >

> > > I am not much good at self analysis. but I have been told that

I

> > have a

> > > predominance of rajas over tamas and sattwa. When I was told

> > this, it hurt

> > > my feelings a little bit. I wanted to see myself as very

> > sattwic. But I

> > > have come to see that it is my rajasic tendency that has

> propelled

> > me into

> > > being a bhakta and given me the energy to fall in love with

> > Divinity and

> > > carry on my sadhana for the last 11 years.

> > >

> > > Sometimes I am put in the mood of a baby or a small child and I

> > just call

> > > Maa, Maa, Maa, Maa over and over again. And even though I keep

> on

> > crying, I

> > > am very aware of Her presence. I just keep on crying because I

> > don't want

> > > Her to leave or set me down (just like a spoiled baby). I am

now

> > at a point

> > > that I can feel Her working through me, using my eyes and hands

> > and feet;

> > > taking me places; giving me jobs to do. When I, Ardis, don't

> know

> > where

> > > something is (keys, glasses, papers) I just ask Her and she

> points

> > my eyes

> > > and hands in the right direction. She can see through things.

> > This morning

> > > She found my glasses under a thick sleeping bag. I always am

sure

> > to thank

> > > Her.

> > >

> > > My father's favorite hymn was "In the Garden". It goes like

> > this: "I walk

> > > in the Garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses. And

> the

> > Voice I

> > > hear, whispering in my ear, the Son of God discloses. And He

> > walks with me

> > > and He talks with me and He tells me I am His Own. And the

joy I

> > bear as I

> > > tarry there, few other have ever known." It reminds me of Sri

> > Ramakrishna

> > > walking in the gardens at Dakshineshwar with his Beloved Mother

> > Kali. This

> > > is the song of the bhakta walking in a daily walk with their

> ishta

> > devata.

> > > Ramakrishna blessed all of us with his ability to move back and

> > forth

> > > between the life of the bhakta and the life of complete and

total

> > absorption

> > > and Divine Union. Just as eternity is a single moment, Sri

> > Ramakrishna is

> > > very much with us in each moment. As are Shree Maa and Swami

> > Satyananda

> > > Saraswati.

> > >

> > > Jai Maa!!! Jai Swamiji!!! Jai Ramakrishna!!! Jai Sarada

> > Devi!!!

> > >

> > > "Brian McKee" <brian@s...>

> > >

> > > Fri, 13 Feb 2004 18:02:39 -0500 (EST)

> > >

> > > The dual nature of desire.

> > >

> > >

> > > I learned something a couple of days ago. Well, "learned" as a

> > word doesn't

> > > do it justice. I guess it was a realization.

> > >

> > > Desire, which is considered to be one of the biggest obstacles

to

> > a person's

> > > spritual progress, also happens to be the most powerful tool at

> > his disposal

> > > for spiritual enlightenment.

> > >

> > > RamakKrishna, when he was young, was felt to be a bit off (to

put

> > it

> > > nicely), because he ran around crying to Murti's, "Maa! Maa!

> > Please Maa!"

> > >

> > > I now understand why he did that. He knew consciousness existed

> > but had not

> > > yet experienced it. He had seen the goddess on the mount but

had

> > not yet

> > > become her husband. Ramakrishna desired mother so badly that he

> > lost himself

> > > to the desire and thus enabled her to enter into his body.

> > >

> > > What I learned is simply that if I desire the goddess to come

to

> > me, if I

> > > can build the desire to the fullness of my being, if I can

build

> > that desire

> > > even greater than my fears of self anihilation, then goddess

will

> > come to

> > > me. Consciousness will come.

> > >

> > > This is not a mental process, this is a process that relates to

> > feeling. You

> > > can feel her in your body as you literally lust after her long

a

> > teenage boy

> > > lusts after a runway model. This lust is not physical, that

> > example was just

> > > a metaphor.

> > >

> > > Yesterday, while waiting to see my doctor I practiced two

> > techniques of

> > > meditation. One was to feel my body and ignore my thoughts. Its

> > just

> > > allowing myself to feel my body. The second is to desire

goddess.

> > Literally

> > > call for her, want her, need her, desire her with all my heart

> and

> > soul.

> > >

> > > "Maa, Maa, Please Maa! Come into my heart and make me one with

> > you!"

> > >

> > > The result was an eyes open meditation like I've never

> experienced

> > before. I

> > > could feel her energy within me. I could feel the cells in my

> body

> > charging

> > > with consciousness.

> > >

> > > It is such a wonderful feeling that I've asked her for a

> > boon. "Please

> > > mother, let me desire you for the rest of eternity."

> > >

> > > Namaste,

> > >

> > > Brian

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > "In the begining, the universe was created. This has made a lot

> of

> > people

> > > very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -- Douglas

> > Adams, The

> > > Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy Radio Program.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding.

> > > Introducing My Way - http://www.myway.com

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Links

> > >

> > > /

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > <?

> > subject=Un>

> > >

> > > Terms of

> Service

> > > <> .

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Links

> >

> > /

> >

> >

> >

> > <?

> subject=Un>

> >

> > Terms of

Service

> > <> .

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Links

>

> /

>

>

>

> <?

subject=Un>

>

> Terms of Service

> <> .

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yes it is. there is nothing so wonderful as this. each step of the

way. and just to see the face of a person, even our own face, such a

light of life is there ... imagine, individual beingness, such a

paradoxical wonder we are.

 

that is wonderful to hear about you going past pain. it is funny,

about a year ago i was dwelling on pain quite a bit. i was

experiencing a lot of it. i can say now in contemplation there is no

pain only this passage but i cannot say i am beyond anything.

 

oh i see what you mean, you are saying maa meant peace is a greater

state than happiness with the bubbles and all? because the mind is

opening to a greater identity, perhaps, and spiritual insight is

emerging. yes. the joy i was referring to is a movement into that

peace, yes you could say that.

 

that shining in ten directions ... i would like to have such a

darshan. when the being is no longer seeking the center "off-center"

then the light can shine as it is. but such an unusual thing to

behold.

 

you are indeed fortunate ardis.

 

well ... this fellow is off to bed ... a saturday work day

tomorrow ... peace to you and thank you for sharing some of your

story, i feel fortunate to be able to hear it.

 

steve c.

 

, Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

wrote:

> when you say "it is joyous to make this journey" that is such a

wondrous

> discovery and realization. Too many people see life as a big

pain. I

> remember when I was a young woman and practicing Zazen for a

couple of

> years, I suddenly realized one day that I had gone beyond pain.

No physical

> pain. No mental pain or distraction. No emotional pain. Just

absorption

> and peace. It was quite amazing. Then life became a joyous

adventure for

> me.

>

> Shree Maa told me one day "you will come to a crossroads where you

have to

> choose joy or peace. Always choose peace." At the time I did not

really

> understand what she was telling me. Now I know. Peace is the

ultimate state

> of being while still in separation. It is the platform you sit on

to

> prepare for Divine Union. Joy would be a distraction. It is also

easy to

> become attached to bliss. Peace is more steady. When you see Maa

or

> Swamiji in samadhi, total absorption, they are sitting on the asan

of peace,

> wrapped in a shawl of peace and released from all concerns. They

exude peace

> in all of the ten directions. Jai Maa !!

>

> "bingo_ridley" <bingo_ridley>

>

> Sat, 14 Feb 2004 03:45:14 -0000

>

> Re: The dual nature of desire. ... hey ho

ardis

>

>

> those word, "i don't know this path very well" are so touching.

>

> yes faith! that's what the little plant has.

>

> mind is like some kinda instrument isn't it? and an instrument can

> be powerful, or it can even break.

>

> that faith, maybe it is like, you reach to the beyond, maybe a hand

> will help you, maybe not, but you reach. there, you are

> strengthening your faith in the act of it. it has nothing to do

> with, will i or won't i, can i or can't i ... it is more like I

MUST.

>

> of course it is that joyous resonance with the divine mother that

is

> so compelling!

>

> without that i am a little snail sliming up a great tree. still, i

> must climb. it is joyous to make this journey, it is what a snail

> must do.

>

> peace to you oh ardis. yes, i truly know nothing, on this

> bhakti journey to jnana. it is liberating for me, to hear the guru

> so humble.

>

> steve c.

>

>

> , Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

> wrote:

> > Steve,

> > I have heard Maa speak on several occasions about the importance

> of faith.

> >

> > Have you ever heard her sing the song "Please Take My Hand

> Lord" ? It is an

> > incredibly beautiful experience to hear her sing this song

because

> she sings

> > it from the depth of her divine heart. Here's how it

> goes. "Please take

> > my hand my Lord and show me the way. I don't know this path very

> well.

> > (repeat) I fully rely on you, I trust you with all my heart.

> Beyond you I

> > know of no one else. Today you are the King of my heart. Today

I

> can see

> > Your Beauty. Undeniably it is true without the slightest doubt,

> NOTHING can

> > break this bond of faith."

> >

> > She sings this song to Thakur Sri Ramakrishna, her guru and her

> Beloved

> > Lord.

> >

> > To me the song is a prayer of great depth because it speaks of

how

> deeply

> > Maa relies on Divinity and trusts God with all her heart. It is

> the bond of

> > faith with Ramakrishna that has kept her going her entire life

> through many

> > trials and tribulations. It is her faith in Divinity, whether

one

> sees that

> > Divinity as Lord Shiva or Kali or Chandi or Ramakrishna, that

> lights her

> > path and the lives of all who come in contact with her.

> >

> > Jai Shree Maa !! Jai Sri Ramakrishna Ki Jai !!

> >

> > "bingo_ridley" <bingo_ridley>

> >

> > Sat, 14 Feb 2004 01:55:49 -0000

> >

> > Re: The dual nature of desire. ... hey ho

> ardis

> >

> >

> > ardis i read in one of the books maa or swami said no tattva was

> > over another. i was surprised at that interpretation, i thought

> > sattwa was always desired. but then i see the meaning a little

> > differently now, all the qualities are part of existence.

> >

> > i fell under the spell of this maa very recently. i wanted to

write

> > to her in long-hand like a little man would do maybe in the 2nd

to

> > 4th grade. how ridiculous, i thought i was finally losing it

> (haha.)

> >

> > and then i was fearful she would hurt me, if i trusted too much.

> > again, how crazy! i just want her to see me, or to see her. how

> > silly. am i not an adult person? ha!

> >

> > over time love kind of gets stuck or something and then she

ignites

> > it in this very different way. she bridges the little details

like

> > cutting carrots into god practice. not in some conceptual way

like

> > zen either.

> >

> > i was even afraid, maybe the devotion for the divine mother would

> be

> > too great, it would block my passage to god. this sort of thing

> > always seemed sort of silly ... even saccharine to me ...

different

> > now that i am experiencing it for myself.

> >

> > well i see that as part of the devotional life. there are these

ups

> > and downs. fortunately for me some long analysis of things has

> shown

> > all is relative. there are movements that are so massive, and

there

> > is the cosmic mandir of no relative size at all.

> >

> > i almost died in a car accident not that long ago, maybe 2 years.

> in

> > the emergency room i looked up at the lights and had no fear of

> > death, but there was also no "other" or love-center there. only

an

> > emptiness. i resolved to address that, and changed some of my

ways.

> >

> > always learning, unlearning, etc.

> >

> > steve c.

> >

> >

> > , Ardis Jackson

<anandamama@e...>

> > wrote:

> > > That is so very beautiful Brian.

> > >

> > > I am not much good at self analysis. but I have been told that

I

> > have a

> > > predominance of rajas over tamas and sattwa. When I was told

> > this, it hurt

> > > my feelings a little bit. I wanted to see myself as very

> > sattwic. But I

> > > have come to see that it is my rajasic tendency that has

> propelled

> > me into

> > > being a bhakta and given me the energy to fall in love with

> > Divinity and

> > > carry on my sadhana for the last 11 years.

> > >

> > > Sometimes I am put in the mood of a baby or a small child and I

> > just call

> > > Maa, Maa, Maa, Maa over and over again. And even though I keep

> on

> > crying, I

> > > am very aware of Her presence. I just keep on crying because I

> > don't want

> > > Her to leave or set me down (just like a spoiled baby). I am

now

> > at a point

> > > that I can feel Her working through me, using my eyes and hands

> > and feet;

> > > taking me places; giving me jobs to do. When I, Ardis, don't

> know

> > where

> > > something is (keys, glasses, papers) I just ask Her and she

> points

> > my eyes

> > > and hands in the right direction. She can see through things.

> > This morning

> > > She found my glasses under a thick sleeping bag. I always am

sure

> > to thank

> > > Her.

> > >

> > > My father's favorite hymn was "In the Garden". It goes like

> > this: "I walk

> > > in the Garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses. And

> the

> > Voice I

> > > hear, whispering in my ear, the Son of God discloses. And He

> > walks with me

> > > and He talks with me and He tells me I am His Own. And the

joy I

> > bear as I

> > > tarry there, few other have ever known." It reminds me of Sri

> > Ramakrishna

> > > walking in the gardens at Dakshineshwar with his Beloved Mother

> > Kali. This

> > > is the song of the bhakta walking in a daily walk with their

> ishta

> > devata.

> > > Ramakrishna blessed all of us with his ability to move back and

> > forth

> > > between the life of the bhakta and the life of complete and

total

> > absorption

> > > and Divine Union. Just as eternity is a single moment, Sri

> > Ramakrishna is

> > > very much with us in each moment. As are Shree Maa and Swami

> > Satyananda

> > > Saraswati.

> > >

> > > Jai Maa!!! Jai Swamiji!!! Jai Ramakrishna!!! Jai Sarada

> > Devi!!!

> > >

> > > "Brian McKee" <brian@s...>

> > >

> > > Fri, 13 Feb 2004 18:02:39 -0500 (EST)

> > >

> > > The dual nature of desire.

> > >

> > >

> > > I learned something a couple of days ago. Well, "learned" as a

> > word doesn't

> > > do it justice. I guess it was a realization.

> > >

> > > Desire, which is considered to be one of the biggest obstacles

to

> > a person's

> > > spritual progress, also happens to be the most powerful tool at

> > his disposal

> > > for spiritual enlightenment.

> > >

> > > RamakKrishna, when he was young, was felt to be a bit off (to

put

> > it

> > > nicely), because he ran around crying to Murti's, "Maa! Maa!

> > Please Maa!"

> > >

> > > I now understand why he did that. He knew consciousness existed

> > but had not

> > > yet experienced it. He had seen the goddess on the mount but

had

> > not yet

> > > become her husband. Ramakrishna desired mother so badly that he

> > lost himself

> > > to the desire and thus enabled her to enter into his body.

> > >

> > > What I learned is simply that if I desire the goddess to come

to

> > me, if I

> > > can build the desire to the fullness of my being, if I can

build

> > that desire

> > > even greater than my fears of self anihilation, then goddess

will

> > come to

> > > me. Consciousness will come.

> > >

> > > This is not a mental process, this is a process that relates to

> > feeling. You

> > > can feel her in your body as you literally lust after her long

a

> > teenage boy

> > > lusts after a runway model. This lust is not physical, that

> > example was just

> > > a metaphor.

> > >

> > > Yesterday, while waiting to see my doctor I practiced two

> > techniques of

> > > meditation. One was to feel my body and ignore my thoughts. Its

> > just

> > > allowing myself to feel my body. The second is to desire

goddess.

> > Literally

> > > call for her, want her, need her, desire her with all my heart

> and

> > soul.

> > >

> > > "Maa, Maa, Please Maa! Come into my heart and make me one with

> > you!"

> > >

> > > The result was an eyes open meditation like I've never

> experienced

> > before. I

> > > could feel her energy within me. I could feel the cells in my

> body

> > charging

> > > with consciousness.

> > >

> > > It is such a wonderful feeling that I've asked her for a

> > boon. "Please

> > > mother, let me desire you for the rest of eternity."

> > >

> > > Namaste,

> > >

> > > Brian

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > "In the begining, the universe was created. This has made a lot

> of

> > people

> > > very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -- Douglas

> > Adams, The

> > > Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy Radio Program.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding.

> > > Introducing My Way - http://www.myway.com

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Links

> > >

> > > /

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > <?

> > subject=Un>

> > >

> > > Terms of

> Service

> > > <> .

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Links

> >

> > /

> >

> >

> >

> > <?

> subject=Un>

> >

> > Terms of

Service

> > <> .

Links

>

> /

>

>

>

> <?

subject=Un>

>

> Terms of Service

> <> .

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you are blesssed. i pray i am so fortunate as to be able to make

intelligent use of their offering.

 

off to bed ...

 

steve c.

 

, Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

wrote:

> There is no question that I feel very deeply that I have something

better

> than all the world's riches. I knew it the moment I sat down in

front of

> MahaLakshmi in their temple and the feeling just grew and grew

over the

> years. Sometimes I feel totally overwhelmed at the grace I have

received

> from them. I am so blessed.

>

> "bingo_ridley" <bingo_ridley>

>

> Sat, 14 Feb 2004 05:27:07 -0000

>

> Re: The dual nature of desire. ... hey ho

ardis

>

>

> ardis i am glad you posted back. i don't want to be a pest but this

> is all of great interest.

>

> this example thing, basic human humility, in the GREATER CONTEXT OF

> REALIZATION AND AUTHENTIC PRACTICE ... this is a definite "wow!"

>

> working hard at god and doing spiritual life authentically, with

> some foundation, that is impressive. add to it some real heart and

> living sense of the divine sacred and you have something better

than

> all the world's riches.

>

> steve

>

> , Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

> wrote:

> > and humble She is.... Truly amazing. I remember my shock when I

> saw Her

> > serving dinner to 40-50 people at the Saturday night satsang in

> the Martinez

> > temple... sitting on the floor with them. Then I found out later

> that She

> > had prepared all the food Herself! I fell in love with Her and

> Swamiji and

> > the whole Devi Mandir Family. So much love and simplicity.

Gurus

> who truly

> > teach by their example. They taught me the joy of worship and

the

> > importance of a regular rhythm of sadhana. And their humility

> does wonders

> > for poking holes in egoism and pomposity and self-righteousness.

> When they

> > ask us to join in the joy of worship, they mean JOY. Nothing

> stuffy or

> > dull. They invite us into the holy love affair with God and they

> show us

> > how to spread the table and make our altars inviting to God. I'd

> say

> > Hallelujah ! but I guess in this context I need to phrase it Jai

> Maa !!

> >

> > "bingo_ridley" <bingo_ridley>

> >

> > Sat, 14 Feb 2004 03:45:14 -0000

> >

> > Re: The dual nature of desire. ... hey ho

> ardis

> >

> >

> > those word, "i don't know this path very well" are so touching.

> >

> > yes faith! that's what the little plant has.

> >

> > mind is like some kinda instrument isn't it? and an instrument

can

> > be powerful, or it can even break.

> >

> > that faith, maybe it is like, you reach to the beyond, maybe a

hand

> > will help you, maybe not, but you reach. there, you are

> > strengthening your faith in the act of it. it has nothing to do

> > with, will i or won't i, can i or can't i ... it is more like I

> MUST.

> >

> > of course it is that joyous resonance with the divine mother that

> is

> > so compelling!

> >

> > without that i am a little snail sliming up a great tree. still,

i

> > must climb. it is joyous to make this journey, it is what a snail

> > must do.

> >

> > peace to you oh ardis. yes, i truly know nothing, on this

> > bhakti journey to jnana. it is liberating for me, to hear the

guru

> > so humble.

> >

> > steve c.

> >

> >

> > , Ardis Jackson

<anandamama@e...>

> > wrote:

> > > Steve,

> > > I have heard Maa speak on several occasions about the

importance

> > of faith.

> > >

> > > Have you ever heard her sing the song "Please Take My Hand

> > Lord" ? It is an

> > > incredibly beautiful experience to hear her sing this song

> because

> > she sings

> > > it from the depth of her divine heart. Here's how it

> > goes. "Please take

> > > my hand my Lord and show me the way. I don't know this path

very

> > well.

> > > (repeat) I fully rely on you, I trust you with all my heart.

> > Beyond you I

> > > know of no one else. Today you are the King of my heart.

Today

> I

> > can see

> > > Your Beauty. Undeniably it is true without the slightest

doubt,

> > NOTHING can

> > > break this bond of faith."

> > >

> > > She sings this song to Thakur Sri Ramakrishna, her guru and her

> > Beloved

> > > Lord.

> > >

> > > To me the song is a prayer of great depth because it speaks of

> how

> > deeply

> > > Maa relies on Divinity and trusts God with all her heart. It

is

> > the bond of

> > > faith with Ramakrishna that has kept her going her entire life

> > through many

> > > trials and tribulations. It is her faith in Divinity, whether

> one

> > sees that

> > > Divinity as Lord Shiva or Kali or Chandi or Ramakrishna, that

> > lights her

> > > path and the lives of all who come in contact with her.

> > >

> > > Jai Shree Maa !! Jai Sri Ramakrishna Ki Jai !!

> > >

> > > "bingo_ridley" <bingo_ridley>

> > >

> > > Sat, 14 Feb 2004 01:55:49 -0000

> > >

> > > Re: The dual nature of desire. ... hey

ho

> > ardis

> > >

> > >

> > > ardis i read in one of the books maa or swami said no tattva

was

> > > over another. i was surprised at that interpretation, i thought

> > > sattwa was always desired. but then i see the meaning a little

> > > differently now, all the qualities are part of existence.

> > >

> > > i fell under the spell of this maa very recently. i wanted to

> write

> > > to her in long-hand like a little man would do maybe in the 2nd

> to

> > > 4th grade. how ridiculous, i thought i was finally losing it

> > (haha.)

> > >

> > > and then i was fearful she would hurt me, if i trusted too

much.

> > > again, how crazy! i just want her to see me, or to see her. how

> > > silly. am i not an adult person? ha!

> > >

> > > over time love kind of gets stuck or something and then she

> ignites

> > > it in this very different way. she bridges the little details

> like

> > > cutting carrots into god practice. not in some conceptual way

> like

> > > zen either.

> > >

> > > i was even afraid, maybe the devotion for the divine mother

would

> > be

> > > too great, it would block my passage to god. this sort of thing

> > > always seemed sort of silly ... even saccharine to me ...

> different

> > > now that i am experiencing it for myself.

> > >

> > > well i see that as part of the devotional life. there are these

> ups

> > > and downs. fortunately for me some long analysis of things has

> > shown

> > > all is relative. there are movements that are so massive, and

> there

> > > is the cosmic mandir of no relative size at all.

> > >

> > > i almost died in a car accident not that long ago, maybe 2

years.

> > in

> > > the emergency room i looked up at the lights and had no fear of

> > > death, but there was also no "other" or love-center there. only

> an

> > > emptiness. i resolved to address that, and changed some of my

> ways.

> > >

> > > always learning, unlearning, etc.

> > >

> > > steve c.

> > >

> > >

> > > , Ardis Jackson

> <anandamama@e...>

> > > wrote:

> > > > That is so very beautiful Brian.

> > > >

> > > > I am not much good at self analysis. but I have been told

that

> I

> > > have a

> > > > predominance of rajas over tamas and sattwa. When I was told

> > > this, it hurt

> > > > my feelings a little bit. I wanted to see myself as very

> > > sattwic. But I

> > > > have come to see that it is my rajasic tendency that has

> > propelled

> > > me into

> > > > being a bhakta and given me the energy to fall in love with

> > > Divinity and

> > > > carry on my sadhana for the last 11 years.

> > > >

> > > > Sometimes I am put in the mood of a baby or a small child

and I

> > > just call

> > > > Maa, Maa, Maa, Maa over and over again. And even though I

keep

> > on

> > > crying, I

> > > > am very aware of Her presence. I just keep on crying

because I

> > > don't want

> > > > Her to leave or set me down (just like a spoiled baby). I am

> now

> > > at a point

> > > > that I can feel Her working through me, using my eyes and

hands

> > > and feet;

> > > > taking me places; giving me jobs to do. When I, Ardis, don't

> > know

> > > where

> > > > something is (keys, glasses, papers) I just ask Her and she

> > points

> > > my eyes

> > > > and hands in the right direction. She can see through things.

> > > This morning

> > > > She found my glasses under a thick sleeping bag. I always am

> sure

> > > to thank

> > > > Her.

> > > >

> > > > My father's favorite hymn was "In the Garden". It goes like

> > > this: "I walk

> > > > in the Garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses.

And

> > the

> > > Voice I

> > > > hear, whispering in my ear, the Son of God discloses. And He

> > > walks with me

> > > > and He talks with me and He tells me I am His Own. And the

> joy I

> > > bear as I

> > > > tarry there, few other have ever known." It reminds me of

Sri

> > > Ramakrishna

> > > > walking in the gardens at Dakshineshwar with his Beloved

Mother

> > > Kali. This

> > > > is the song of the bhakta walking in a daily walk with their

> > ishta

> > > devata.

> > > > Ramakrishna blessed all of us with his ability to move back

and

> > > forth

> > > > between the life of the bhakta and the life of complete and

> total

> > > absorption

> > > > and Divine Union. Just as eternity is a single moment, Sri

> > > Ramakrishna is

> > > > very much with us in each moment. As are Shree Maa and Swami

> > > Satyananda

> > > > Saraswati.

> > > >

> > > > Jai Maa!!! Jai Swamiji!!! Jai Ramakrishna!!! Jai Sarada

> > > Devi!!!

> > > >

> > > > "Brian McKee" <brian@s...>

> > > >

> > > > Fri, 13 Feb 2004 18:02:39 -0500 (EST)

> > > >

> > > > The dual nature of desire.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > I learned something a couple of days ago. Well, "learned" as

a

> > > word doesn't

> > > > do it justice. I guess it was a realization.

> > > >

> > > > Desire, which is considered to be one of the biggest

obstacles

> to

> > > a person's

> > > > spritual progress, also happens to be the most powerful tool

at

> > > his disposal

> > > > for spiritual enlightenment.

> > > >

> > > > RamakKrishna, when he was young, was felt to be a bit off (to

> put

> > > it

> > > > nicely), because he ran around crying to Murti's, "Maa! Maa!

> > > Please Maa!"

> > > >

> > > > I now understand why he did that. He knew consciousness

existed

> > > but had not

> > > > yet experienced it. He had seen the goddess on the mount but

> had

> > > not yet

> > > > become her husband. Ramakrishna desired mother so badly that

he

> > > lost himself

> > > > to the desire and thus enabled her to enter into his body.

> > > >

> > > > What I learned is simply that if I desire the goddess to come

> to

> > > me, if I

> > > > can build the desire to the fullness of my being, if I can

> build

> > > that desire

> > > > even greater than my fears of self anihilation, then goddess

> will

> > > come to

> > > > me. Consciousness will come.

> > > >

> > > > This is not a mental process, this is a process that relates

to

> > > feeling. You

> > > > can feel her in your body as you literally lust after her

long

> a

> > > teenage boy

> > > > lusts after a runway model. This lust is not physical, that

> > > example was just

> > > > a metaphor.

> > > >

> > > > Yesterday, while waiting to see my doctor I practiced two

> > > techniques of

> > > > meditation. One was to feel my body and ignore my thoughts.

Its

> > > just

> > > > allowing myself to feel my body. The second is to desire

> goddess.

> > > Literally

> > > > call for her, want her, need her, desire her with all my

heart

> > and

> > > soul.

> > > >

> > > > "Maa, Maa, Please Maa! Come into my heart and make me one

with

> > > you!"

> > > >

> > > > The result was an eyes open meditation like I've never

> > experienced

> > > before. I

> > > > could feel her energy within me. I could feel the cells in my

> > body

> > > charging

> > > > with consciousness.

> > > >

> > > > It is such a wonderful feeling that I've asked her for a

> > > boon. "Please

> > > > mother, let me desire you for the rest of eternity."

> > > >

> > > > Namaste,

> > > >

> > > > Brian

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > "In the begining, the universe was created. This has made a

lot

> > of

> > > people

> > > > very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." --

Douglas

> > > Adams, The

> > > > Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy Radio Program.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding.

> > > > Introducing My Way - http://www.myway.com

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Links

> > > >

> > > > /

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > <?

> > > subject=Un>

> > > >

> > > > Terms of

> > Service

> > > > <> .

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Links

> > >

> > > /

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > <?

> > subject=Un>

> > >

> > > Terms of

> Service

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> >

> >

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> >

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> >

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> > Terms of

Service

> > <> .

>

>

>

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