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If you call yourself a disciple of any person, the only real gift they can

give you is to send you away. A longing will begin that after awhile will

force you to return, and you fall at the master's feet with great humility.

Again you are told, "Go away". Over and over you come and you go and the

longing increases until it is unbearable. Finally something happens that you

did not expect. A door opens inside you that you didn't know existed, but

which the master saw all along. It is the longing that creates the opening,

not the satisfaction of finding another person who seems to have satisfied

their longing for God. It will never be satisfied within you until you

realize that God, or the Master, have never left your side, no matter where

you wandered off to.

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Dear Ardis,

What a terrific post !

 

And so true are the words "not the satisfaction of finding another

person who seems to have satisfied their longing for God " , but

creating that inner longing and yearning within us until we "realize

that God, or the Master, have never left your side, no matter where

you wandered off to. "

 

Not only tugs at my hearstrings, but grabs at em and ties them into

knots.

 

May we all be blessed to get that unbearable yearning !

 

Thank you again for a great post.

Jai Maa

Latha

 

 

 

, Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

wrote:

> If you call yourself a disciple of any person, the only real gift

they can

> give you is to send you away. A longing will begin that after

awhile will

> force you to return, and you fall at the master's feet with great

humility.

> Again you are told, "Go away". Over and over you come and you go

and the

> longing increases until it is unbearable. Finally something

happens that you

> did not expect. A door opens inside you that you didn't know

existed, but

> which the master saw all along. It is the longing that creates the

opening,

> not the satisfaction of finding another person who seems to have

satisfied

> their longing for God. It will never be satisfied within you until

you

> realize that God, or the Master, have never left your side, no

matter where

> you wandered off to.

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i have a comment or question. what about the part of this that

includes actual emotional pain? i mean, is it always bliss, or is the

yearning at times actually painful ... and would that be considered

[by a swami/guru] to be part of the process, or a wandering off the

process? i hope this question makes some sense. it is to help me

understand the difficult moments of this.

 

peace,

 

s

 

, "Latha Nanda" <lathananda>

wrote:

> Dear Ardis,

> What a terrific post !

>

> And so true are the words "not the satisfaction of finding another

> person who seems to have satisfied their longing for God " , but

> creating that inner longing and yearning within us until

we "realize

> that God, or the Master, have never left your side, no matter where

> you wandered off to. "

>

> Not only tugs at my hearstrings, but grabs at em and ties them into

> knots.

>

> May we all be blessed to get that unbearable yearning !

>

> Thank you again for a great post.

> Jai Maa

> Latha

>

>

>

> , Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

> wrote:

> > If you call yourself a disciple of any person, the only real gift

> they can

> > give you is to send you away. A longing will begin that after

> awhile will

> > force you to return, and you fall at the master's feet with great

> humility.

> > Again you are told, "Go away". Over and over you come and you go

> and the

> > longing increases until it is unbearable. Finally something

> happens that you

> > did not expect. A door opens inside you that you didn't know

> existed, but

> > which the master saw all along. It is the longing that creates

the

> opening,

> > not the satisfaction of finding another person who seems to have

> satisfied

> > their longing for God. It will never be satisfied within you

until

> you

> > realize that God, or the Master, have never left your side, no

> matter where

> > you wandered off to.

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When Ramakrishna and Vivekenanda spoke of their unbearable longing for

God, they weren't describing bliss. They were describing an extremely

intense yearning for union with God that in the case of Ramakrishna

almost led to his suicide.

"Steve Connor" <sconnor (AT) austin (DOT) rr.com>

Wed, 02 Jun 2004 01:36:15 -0000

Re: Something of interest

i have a comment or question. what about the part of this that

includes actual emotional pain? i mean, is it always bliss, or is the

yearning at times actually painful ... and would that be considered

[by a swami/guru] to be part of the process, or a wandering off the

process? i hope this question makes some sense. it is to help me

understand the difficult moments of this.

peace,

s

, "Latha Nanda" <lathananda>

wrote:

> Dear Ardis,

> What a terrific post !

>

> And so true are the words "not the satisfaction of finding another

> person who seems to have satisfied their longing for God " , but

> creating that inner longing and yearning within us until

we "realize

> that God, or the Master, have never left your side, no matter where

> you wandered off to. "

>

> Not only tugs at my hearstrings, but grabs at em and ties them into

> knots.

>

> May we all be blessed to get that unbearable yearning !

>

> Thank you again for a great post.

> Jai Maa

> Latha

>

>

>

> , Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

> wrote:

> > If you call yourself a disciple of any person, the only real gift

> they can

> > give you is to send you away. A longing will begin that after

> awhile will

> > force you to return, and you fall at the master's feet with great

> humility.

> > Again you are told, "Go away". Over and over you come and you go

> and the

> > longing increases until it is unbearable. Finally something

> happens that you

> > did not expect. A door opens inside you that you didn't know

> existed, but

> > which the master saw all along. It is the longing that creates

the

> opening,

> > not the satisfaction of finding another person who seems to have

> satisfied

> > their longing for God. It will never be satisfied within you

until

> you

> > realize that God, or the Master, have never left your side, no

> matter where

> > you wandered off to.

Sponsor

/

<?subject=Un>

Terms of Service

<> .

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True... yearning is always painful.

 

After the object of yearning is obtained, a nostalgic recollection

of those painful times is kinda 'blissful'!

 

Jai Ma!

 

, Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

wrote:

> When Ramakrishna and Vivekenanda spoke of their unbearable longing

for God,

> they weren't describing bliss. They were describing an extremely

intense

> yearning for union with God that in the case of Ramakrishna almost

led to

> his suicide.

>

> "Steve Connor" <sconnor@a...>

>

> Wed, 02 Jun 2004 01:36:15 -0000

>

> Re: Something of interest

>

>

> i have a comment or question. what about the part of this that

> includes actual emotional pain? i mean, is it always bliss, or is

the

> yearning at times actually painful ... and would that be considered

> [by a swami/guru] to be part of the process, or a wandering off the

> process? i hope this question makes some sense. it is to help me

> understand the difficult moments of this.

>

> peace,

>

> s

>

> , "Latha Nanda" <lathananda>

> wrote:

> > Dear Ardis,

> > What a terrific post !

> >

> > And so true are the words "not the satisfaction of finding

another

> > person who seems to have satisfied their longing for God " , but

> > creating that inner longing and yearning within us until

> we "realize

> > that God, or the Master, have never left your side, no matter

where

> > you wandered off to. "

> >

> > Not only tugs at my hearstrings, but grabs at em and ties them

into

> > knots.

> >

> > May we all be blessed to get that unbearable yearning !

> >

> > Thank you again for a great post.

> > Jai Maa

> > Latha

> >

> >

> >

> > , Ardis Jackson

<anandamama@e...>

> > wrote:

> > > If you call yourself a disciple of any person, the only real

gift

> > they can

> > > give you is to send you away. A longing will begin that after

> > awhile will

> > > force you to return, and you fall at the master's feet with

great

> > humility.

> > > Again you are told, "Go away". Over and over you come and you

go

> > and the

> > > longing increases until it is unbearable. Finally something

> > happens that you

> > > did not expect. A door opens inside you that you didn't know

> > existed, but

> > > which the master saw all along. It is the longing that creates

> the

> > opening,

> > > not the satisfaction of finding another person who seems to

have

> > satisfied

> > > their longing for God. It will never be satisfied within you

> until

> > you

> > > realize that God, or the Master, have never left your side, no

> > matter where

> > > you wandered off to.

>

>

>

> Sponsor

>

>

>

>

> Links

>

> /

>

>

>

> <?

subject=Un>

>

> Terms of Service

> <> .

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where did the idea come from, that this is all easy?

 

;-)

 

s

 

 

, Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

wrote:

> When Ramakrishna and Vivekenanda spoke of their unbearable longing

for God,

> they weren't describing bliss. They were describing an extremely

intense

> yearning for union with God that in the case of Ramakrishna almost

led to

> his suicide.

>

> "Steve Connor" <sconnor@a...>

>

> Wed, 02 Jun 2004 01:36:15 -0000

>

> Re: Something of interest

>

>

> i have a comment or question. what about the part of this that

> includes actual emotional pain? i mean, is it always bliss, or is

the

> yearning at times actually painful ... and would that be considered

> [by a swami/guru] to be part of the process, or a wandering off the

> process? i hope this question makes some sense. it is to help me

> understand the difficult moments of this.

>

> peace,

>

> s

>

> , "Latha Nanda" <lathananda>

> wrote:

> > Dear Ardis,

> > What a terrific post !

> >

> > And so true are the words "not the satisfaction of finding another

> > person who seems to have satisfied their longing for God " , but

> > creating that inner longing and yearning within us until

> we "realize

> > that God, or the Master, have never left your side, no matter

where

> > you wandered off to. "

> >

> > Not only tugs at my hearstrings, but grabs at em and ties them

into

> > knots.

> >

> > May we all be blessed to get that unbearable yearning !

> >

> > Thank you again for a great post.

> > Jai Maa

> > Latha

> >

> >

> >

> > , Ardis Jackson

<anandamama@e...>

> > wrote:

> > > If you call yourself a disciple of any person, the only real

gift

> > they can

> > > give you is to send you away. A longing will begin that after

> > awhile will

> > > force you to return, and you fall at the master's feet with

great

> > humility.

> > > Again you are told, "Go away". Over and over you come and you go

> > and the

> > > longing increases until it is unbearable. Finally something

> > happens that you

> > > did not expect. A door opens inside you that you didn't know

> > existed, but

> > > which the master saw all along. It is the longing that creates

> the

> > opening,

> > > not the satisfaction of finding another person who seems to have

> > satisfied

> > > their longing for God. It will never be satisfied within you

> until

> > you

> > > realize that God, or the Master, have never left your side, no

> > matter where

> > > you wandered off to.

>

>

>

> Sponsor

>

>

>

>

> Links

>

> /

>

>

>

> <?subject=Un>

>

> Terms of Service

> <> .

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Guest guest

i wonder if some people who suffer, are actually suffering this

yearning for unity, without thinking of it as spiritual at all ... it

is some kind of primary sense of dislocation they wish to overcome

like that kitty that wants to get picked up.

 

btw i was thinking more on that, and realized i would not think of

swamiji or maa as a kitten, more like tigers or lions. i guess there

are many ways devotion is expressed!

 

steve

 

, "manoj_menon" <ammasmon@s...>

wrote:

> True... yearning is always painful.

>

> After the object of yearning is obtained, a nostalgic recollection

> of those painful times is kinda 'blissful'!

>

> Jai Ma!

>

> , Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

> wrote:

> > When Ramakrishna and Vivekenanda spoke of their unbearable

longing

> for God,

> > they weren't describing bliss. They were describing an extremely

> intense

> > yearning for union with God that in the case of Ramakrishna

almost

> led to

> > his suicide.

> >

> > "Steve Connor" <sconnor@a...>

> >

> > Wed, 02 Jun 2004 01:36:15 -0000

> >

> > Re: Something of interest

> >

> >

> > i have a comment or question. what about the part of this that

> > includes actual emotional pain? i mean, is it always bliss, or is

> the

> > yearning at times actually painful ... and would that be

considered

> > [by a swami/guru] to be part of the process, or a wandering off

the

> > process? i hope this question makes some sense. it is to help me

> > understand the difficult moments of this.

> >

> > peace,

> >

> > s

> >

> > , "Latha Nanda"

<lathananda>

> > wrote:

> > > Dear Ardis,

> > > What a terrific post !

> > >

> > > And so true are the words "not the satisfaction of finding

> another

> > > person who seems to have satisfied their longing for God " , but

> > > creating that inner longing and yearning within us until

> > we "realize

> > > that God, or the Master, have never left your side, no matter

> where

> > > you wandered off to. "

> > >

> > > Not only tugs at my hearstrings, but grabs at em and ties them

> into

> > > knots.

> > >

> > > May we all be blessed to get that unbearable yearning !

> > >

> > > Thank you again for a great post.

> > > Jai Maa

> > > Latha

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > , Ardis Jackson

> <anandamama@e...>

> > > wrote:

> > > > If you call yourself a disciple of any person, the only real

> gift

> > > they can

> > > > give you is to send you away. A longing will begin that after

> > > awhile will

> > > > force you to return, and you fall at the master's feet with

> great

> > > humility.

> > > > Again you are told, "Go away". Over and over you come and you

> go

> > > and the

> > > > longing increases until it is unbearable. Finally something

> > > happens that you

> > > > did not expect. A door opens inside you that you didn't know

> > > existed, but

> > > > which the master saw all along. It is the longing that creates

> > the

> > > opening,

> > > > not the satisfaction of finding another person who seems to

> have

> > > satisfied

> > > > their longing for God. It will never be satisfied within you

> > until

> > > you

> > > > realize that God, or the Master, have never left your side, no

> > > matter where

> > > > you wandered off to.

> >

> >

> >

> > Sponsor

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Links

> >

> > /

> >

> >

> >

> > <?

> subject=Un>

> >

> > Terms of

Service

> > <> .

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This is so hard.

 

In the path of yoga, in most paths, at most times (I think), it is

said to be important to be balanced, to treat every situation

equally, without duality, to treat both the pleasant and the

unpleasant, success and failure, with the same equanimity.

 

Yet it is also said to be important to desire to attain samadhi,

even, to yearn for the Divine.

 

Swami Rama wrote (I paraphrase), there comes a time in the disciple's

life when he exhausts all his efforts. At this time he cries out to

God, and that cry is like that of a child to his mother; it is

parabhakti. God hears his cry and carries him across the final hurdle.

 

I have always been emotionally sensitive. This yearning threatens to

carry me into an abyss from which there is no return. It is a seesaw

of raw bleeding emotion, of exhultation and despair.

 

It is so hard to yearn so for God, for freedom.

 

Chris

 

 

, Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

wrote:

> If you call yourself a disciple of any person, the only real gift

they can

> give you is to send you away. A longing will begin that after

awhile will

> force you to return, and you fall at the master's feet with great

humility.

> Again you are told, "Go away". Over and over you come and you go

and the

> longing increases until it is unbearable. Finally something happens

that you

> did not expect. A door opens inside you that you didn't know

existed, but

> which the master saw all along. It is the longing that creates the

opening,

> not the satisfaction of finding another person who seems to have

satisfied

> their longing for God. It will never be satisfied within you until

you

> realize that God, or the Master, have never left your side, no

matter where

> you wandered off to.

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Dear Chris,

 

The balance comes from understanding your nature and adding the light

of the divine to harmonize it. This last weekend our family was in

Taos, NM and visited the Neem Karoli Baba Ashram and Hanuman Temple.

My recent experiences had added enough weight (personal karma) to want

some relief ( help! ) and so early the first morning I visited the

temple after the early morning arati for Hanuman and Maharaj-ji.

Prostrated and then sitting alone recited silently the Hunaman

Chalisa. After a few repetitions, now in silence within and without,

my yearning to be the son of Siva, (a beautiful picture of Hanuman

like a grown child resting his head on Siva's chest and shoulder was

the catalyst) caused a few tears to roll down my cheeks and then

bliss permeated me.

 

Om Namah Sivaya

 

Love,

 

Kanda

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Oh Chris. Thank you for your openness. Your fear of the abyss is

just what Vivekananda feared. He wanted to sit on the edge of the

teacup and reach out and touch the tea. Ramakrishna scolded him and

asked him why he didn't just jump in. He told him, there is nothing

to lose... only God to gain.

When I am singing or chanting or clapping, I go "all the way";

directly to God. I am in God and become God. Where my fear comes up

is in deep meditation when I don't have the vehicle of music or

mantra. I sit on that edge of the teacup or stand on the edge of the

diving board. I wish that someone (Maa? Swamiji? the next devotee in

line? Chandi Ma Herself?) would give me the shove I long for and push

me into the abyss of God. But I know in my heart that only my

complete surrender will accomplish my goal.

My love and blessings to you always,

Ardis

"Chris Kirner" <chriskirner1956 >

Thu, 03 Jun 2004 08:46:00 -0000

Re: Something of interest

This is so hard.

In the path of yoga, in most paths, at most times (I think), it is

said to be important to be balanced, to treat every situation

equally, without duality, to treat both the pleasant and the

unpleasant, success and failure, with the same equanimity.

Yet it is also said to be important to desire to attain samadhi,

even, to yearn for the Divine.

Swami Rama wrote (I paraphrase), there comes a time in the disciple's

life when he exhausts all his efforts. At this time he cries out to

God, and that cry is like that of a child to his mother; it is

parabhakti. God hears his cry and carries him across the final hurdle.

I have always been emotionally sensitive. This yearning threatens to

carry me into an abyss from which there is no return. It is a seesaw

of raw bleeding emotion, of exhultation and despair.

It is so hard to yearn so for God, for freedom.

Chris

, Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

wrote:

> If you call yourself a disciple of any person, the only real gift

they can

> give you is to send you away. A longing will begin that after

awhile will

> force you to return, and you fall at the master's feet with great

humility.

> Again you are told, "Go away". Over and over you come and you go

and the

> longing increases until it is unbearable. Finally something happens

that you

> did not expect. A door opens inside you that you didn't know

existed, but

> which the master saw all along. It is the longing that creates the

opening,

> not the satisfaction of finding another person who seems to have

satisfied

> their longing for God. It will never be satisfied within you until

you

> realize that God, or the Master, have never left your side, no

matter where

> you wandered off to.

Sponsor

/

<?subject=Un>

Terms of Service

<> .

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Guest guest

May that being, overflowing with compassion for those suffering the

pain of separation, give from His abundance just what you need.

 

Chris

 

 

 

, Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

wrote:

> Oh Chris. Thank you for your openness. Your fear of the abyss is

just what

> Vivekananda feared. He wanted to sit on the edge of the teacup and

reach

> out and touch the tea. Ramakrishna scolded him and asked him why

he didn't

> just jump in. He told him, there is nothing to lose... only God to

gain.

>

> When I am singing or chanting or clapping, I go "all the way";

directly to

> God. I am in God and become God. Where my fear comes up is in deep

> meditation when I don't have the vehicle of music or mantra. I sit

on that

> edge of the teacup or stand on the edge of the diving board. I

wish that

> someone (Maa? Swamiji? the next devotee in line? Chandi Ma

Herself?) would

> give me the shove I long for and push me into the abyss of God.

But I know

> in my heart that only my complete surrender will accomplish my goal.

>

> My love and blessings to you always,

>

> Ardis

>

> "Chris Kirner" <chriskirner1956>

>

> Thu, 03 Jun 2004 08:46:00 -0000

>

> Re: Something of interest

>

>

> This is so hard.

>

> In the path of yoga, in most paths, at most times (I think), it is

> said to be important to be balanced, to treat every situation

> equally, without duality, to treat both the pleasant and the

> unpleasant, success and failure, with the same equanimity.

>

> Yet it is also said to be important to desire to attain samadhi,

> even, to yearn for the Divine.

>

> Swami Rama wrote (I paraphrase), there comes a time in the

disciple's

> life when he exhausts all his efforts. At this time he cries out to

> God, and that cry is like that of a child to his mother; it is

> parabhakti. God hears his cry and carries him across the final

hurdle.

>

> I have always been emotionally sensitive. This yearning threatens to

> carry me into an abyss from which there is no return. It is a seesaw

> of raw bleeding emotion, of exhultation and despair.

>

> It is so hard to yearn so for God, for freedom.

>

> Chris

>

>

> , Ardis Jackson <anandamama@e...>

> wrote:

> > If you call yourself a disciple of any person, the only real gift

> they can

> > give you is to send you away. A longing will begin that after

> awhile will

> > force you to return, and you fall at the master's feet with great

> humility.

> > Again you are told, "Go away". Over and over you come and you go

> and the

> > longing increases until it is unbearable. Finally something

happens

> that you

> > did not expect. A door opens inside you that you didn't know

> existed, but

> > which the master saw all along. It is the longing that creates the

> opening,

> > not the satisfaction of finding another person who seems to have

> satisfied

> > their longing for God. It will never be satisfied within you until

> you

> > realize that God, or the Master, have never left your side, no

> matter where

> > you wandered off to.

>

>

>

> Sponsor

>

>

>

>

> Links

>

> /

>

>

>

> <?subject=Un>

>

> Terms of Service

> <> .

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Dear Kanda,

What a great post! I have been wanting to visit the Hanuman

Temple in Taos for a long time...your experience there was very

vivid..thanks for writing it out and sharing it with all of us.

And thanks, Ardis, for the original post that started this whole

train of thought going! The power of Good Company...all riding in

the same boat, across the Ocean of Samsara.

love,

sadhvi

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Thank you, dear one. And the same for you.

 

 

Chris Kirner <chriskirner1956

Jun 3, 2004 10:45 AM

..<BR>

<BR>

<BR>

</tt>

 

 

<br>

 

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That sounds like a wonderful experience!

 

 

 

kandaaran

Jun 3, 2004 10:54 AM

Re: Re: Something of interest

 

Dear Chris,

 

The balance comes from understanding your nature and adding the light of the

divine to harmonize it. This last weekend our family was in Taos, NM and

visited the Neem Karoli Baba Ashram and Hanuman Temple. My recent experiences

had

added enough weight (personal karma) to want some relief ( help! ) and so

early the first morning I visited the temple after the early morning arati for

Hanuman and Maharaj-ji. Prostrated and then sitting alone recited silently the

Hunaman Chalisa. After a few repetitions, now in silence within and without,

my yearning to be the son of Siva, (a beautiful picture of Hanuman like a

grown child resting his head on Siva's chest and shoulder was the catalyst)

caused

a few tears to roll down my cheeks and then bliss permeated me.

 

Om Namah Sivaya

 

Love,

 

Kanda

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