Q&A with Swamiji .....40...Removing the darkness within

[Guest guest]

Question from Latha:

 

Since Kali aka Chamunda destroys anger and passion, is the

worship of Kali designed for those that have a problem with anger

and passion.

 

Put in another way, if I have a problem controlling my anger

and passion, is it most effective for me to worship Kali and chant

her bija mantra

 

Swamiji's response :

 

First, everyone has darkness of some kind. Kali takes away the

Darkness. Therefore, it is appropriate for everyone to worship her.

 

Second, Her bija mantra and her entire worship as well as the entire

Chandi is effective in combatting anger and passion.

[Guest guest]

WARNING: This is long.

 

I have much first hand experience with this.

 

I asked mother to help me see reality as it really is. I can see the pain and

anguish, I can feel the suffering around me in my fellow humans, but I want to

see beyond that, beyond it all. So, in Costco, I asked, "Please let me see it

for what it truly is."

 

Mother's response was immediate. She immediately showed me my anger and my

reactions to the world. She showed me that to push beyond the suffering beyond

the veil of illusory mental definitions I would have to grow beyond my anger. I

have to accept everything as it is.

 

I have to be willing to accept everything's falseness to see the truth behind

it. That is the duality of truth.

 

It was a very humbling experience.

 

When viewed from the perspective of the mind, everything is a battle -- a battle

for survival.

 

When viewed from mother's perspective its merely a child crying hard enough

amongst its surroundings that mother feels enough compassion to come and pick

the child up and scrape away the pain, the suffering, the mental baggage, and

the dust of its well traveled road.

 

So the question is: do we identify with the pieces of mind that are doing

battle? Or do we identify with the child crying to its mother?

 

Or do we identify with Mother?

 

Its our choice.

 

All these pujas create the energy necessary for us to begin to recognize mother

and desire her. At first we fight with her because we don't know anything but

fighting and survival, then we fight for her to try and get her attention, then

we fight those who don't know about her, feeling ownership of her. Ultimately

the fighting ceases and we merely desire her badly enough to cry for her.

 

Please Maa! Please!

 

Mew mew mew.

 

When I feel anger, I just want to Mew.

 

When I feel worldly desire, I just want to Mew.

 

And the more anger and worldly desire I feel the more I MEW MEW MEW!

 

Even if I don't want to mew, I want -- to want -- to mew.

 

Now she holds my hand as a I walk through life and when I ask her a question she

answers it almost immediately. I am honored and at the same time terrified

because of how real she is. Because as a mental abstract construct I am able to

keep distance, but when I have to admit that my mental questions are answered

directly by reality herself, then my mental construct breaks down and SHE IS

THERE IN ITS PLACE.

 

The spiritual path seems difficult because we have to let go of all of our

preconceptions, all of our controlled mental contstructs and we have to accept

that she is there all around us, everywhere. That she knows everything, feels

everything, literally is everything. Thinking that is not enough, we have to

feel it, live it, be it.

 

Anger is just one of our ways of refusing to accept reality and justifying our

identity of seperateness. Once we recognize that, its difficult to justify anger

and even more difficult to identify with it.

 

Anger just makes me tired these days.

 

Luckilly mother doesn't judge, she just waits for us to ask the right question.

 

Love,

 

Brian

 

 

--- On Tue 06/08, Latha Nanda < lathananda > wrote:

Latha Nanda [ lathananda]

Tue, 08 Jun 2004 18:49:14 -0000

Q&A with Swamiji .....40...Removing the darkness within

 

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