Guest guest Posted August 9, 2004 Report Share Posted August 9, 2004 Dearest Latha, Please forward this to Swamiji at the appropriate time in the Queue. (warning: this is long) Currently in my life I have a lot of stuff going on. This stuff is related to my work and my personal life. My personal life is quite calm compared to the good old days but is still quite complicated. My work life is considerably more complicated than its ever been. All the complication revolves around my skills at working with "techinical" Maya. It seems I'm in high demand because of those skills. Because of my nature I find it hard to say no to these demands although I have at work asked for the demands to be somewhat peared down so that I'm not being pulled in more than two directions at once. However because of my past successes I find myself drawn in many directions. It is not possible to say no or even possible to send people to other avenues or solutions to their problems because I'm not sure they exist. But this is all just Maya, lets move away from physical reality and talk about my mind a bit. My mind is reacting to all this. My body reacts to my mind by cramping my back muscles and causing me pain. I guess this is stress. The stress seems limitless and up until now my only recourse has been to ride it out until it subsides on its own. Currently, what I need to do, what I feel I have to do inside myself is to take on even more work that's going to cause me even more stress. It feels right inside, but I feel stressed over it. I simply don't know what to do with it all. It reminds me of a story Krista and I saw acted out last night in the DVD series about Krishna. A little old "untouchable" lady who sells fruit visits Gokul trying to sell a basket of fruit. (Krista was quick to ask why she couldn't eat the fruit, but I have the feeling the fruit is just a story makers device). The woman asked many people if they would buy her sweet fruits but everyone turned her down. Every time she was turned down she looked skyward with a longing look on her face. As she passed from person to person, place to place she found for the whole day there was no one to buy her fruit. She would get no money that day. She walked into the courtyard of Krishna's house, his Mom and Dad are quite wealthy and she marveled at the size of the place. She called out but no one answered. "No one is home," she said to herself. In fact Krishna's parents are gone, but Krishna is home. Tired and defeated she pulled the fruit basket off her head and sat down. Looking skyward again she said, "Hey God, not a single sale all day today. Would you have me make nothing today at all? ... As you wish." She sighs, resigning herself to her fate. Lord Vishnu (oh actually that other name Latha told me) heard her and immediately Krishna came out of his house and walked up to the woman. She asks, "I have sweet fruit, would you like to buy some?" Krishna says, "Buy? What does that mean? When I want some food, my mother gives it to me." The woman realizes Krishna's innocence and tries to explain that to purchase is to exchange one thing for another. In this case money for the fruit. But she says that grain would do as well for her. Krishna remarks that "The milkmaids make me sit on their lap and make me dance and then give me butter and buttermilk. How about I sit in your lap and let you kiss me? Will you give me fruit then?" The woman, somewhat taken aback says, "Oh, but I'm of lower caste, I'm untouchable. Think of all the trouble you'd cause!" Krishna says, "I honor no such boundaries" and he plants himself in her lap. She begins to cry. Her Bhava through this entire ordeal is PERFECT. For someone of his caste to touch her, to show affection for her is extrordinary. It makes her feel special and loved. He's also God. I suspect she knew that inside and felt even more special to have had God sitting in her lap. Krishna hugs her and she says, "Here. You may have all my fruit." She wraps it up and as she does he says, "I'll go get you some grain." She says, "That is not necessary, you have given me more than enough," but Krishna is undeterred. Krishna wanders off to one of the graineries and fills his hands with as much as he can carry. On the way back to her however, he loses most of the grain through his fingers and by the time he gets back to her he has but a few grains left. He says, "here," she opens her hands, and he puts the grains into them. He then says, "oh there was much more than that, it must have slipped out of my hands." "That's okay," she replies, "I'm sure it will fill my basket." She puts the grains in her basket and covers them, then she puts the basket on her head and walks home, crying the whole way. As she enters her little hut and removes the basket she realizes its more full than it ought to be. Opening the towel she finds a kings ransom in jewels. This is the power of surrender. The jewels are devotion. That's what Krishna gives us: devotion. It is his gift to us. So that's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to be the old lady. I'm trying to say, "Okay God, as you wish." And I just keep trying to do my best to accomplish what I can. I just want to know if there's a way to let go of the stress while I do that. Why must I feel badly about doing my best? Why can't I just let it go, why must it tie my muscles in knotts? Why can't I really mean it, when I say it? Oddly enough, writing this has made me feel a lot better. Namaste, Brian _____________ No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding. Make My Way your home on the Web - http://www.myway.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 10, 2004 Report Share Posted August 10, 2004 brian i am really interested to hear swamiji's comment. i just want to say, i can relate 100%. it seems that for some of us, the karma is an overload of responsibilities. how to get thru it all. your reaching for krishna has a good sense about it. peace to you brian, may all turn out well. namaste. steve. , "Brian McKee" <brian@s...> wrote: > > Dearest Latha, > > Please forward this to Swamiji at the appropriate time in the Queue. > > (warning: this is long) > > Currently in my life I have a lot of stuff going on. This stuff is related to my work and my personal life. > > My personal life is quite calm compared to the good old days but is still quite complicated. > > My work life is considerably more complicated than its ever been. > > All the complication revolves around my skills at working with "techinical" Maya. It seems I'm in high demand because of those skills. > > Because of my nature I find it hard to say no to these demands although I have at work asked for the demands to be somewhat peared down so that I'm not being pulled in more than two directions at once. However because of my past successes I find myself drawn in many directions. It is not possible to say no or even possible to send people to other avenues or solutions to their problems because I'm not sure they exist. > > But this is all just Maya, lets move away from physical reality and talk about my mind a bit. > > My mind is reacting to all this. My body reacts to my mind by cramping my back muscles and causing me pain. I guess this is stress. > > The stress seems limitless and up until now my only recourse has been to ride it out until it subsides on its own. Currently, what I need to do, what I feel I have to do inside myself is to take on even more work that's going to cause me even more stress. It feels right inside, but I feel stressed over it. > > I simply don't know what to do with it all. > > It reminds me of a story Krista and I saw acted out last night in the DVD series about Krishna. > > A little old "untouchable" lady who sells fruit visits Gokul trying to sell a basket of fruit. (Krista was quick to ask why she couldn't eat the fruit, but I have the feeling the fruit is just a story makers device). > > The woman asked many people if they would buy her sweet fruits but everyone turned her down. Every time she was turned down she looked skyward with a longing look on her face. > > As she passed from person to person, place to place she found for the whole day there was no one to buy her fruit. She would get no money that day. > > She walked into the courtyard of Krishna's house, his Mom and Dad are quite wealthy and she marveled at the size of the place. She called out but no one answered. "No one is home," she said to herself. In fact Krishna's parents are gone, but Krishna is home. > > Tired and defeated she pulled the fruit basket off her head and sat down. Looking skyward again she said, "Hey God, not a single sale all day today. Would you have me make nothing today at all? ... As you wish." She sighs, resigning herself to her fate. > > Lord Vishnu (oh actually that other name Latha told me) heard her and immediately Krishna came out of his house and walked up to the woman. > > She asks, "I have sweet fruit, would you like to buy some?" > > Krishna says, "Buy? What does that mean? When I want some food, my mother gives it to me." > > The woman realizes Krishna's innocence and tries to explain that to purchase is to exchange one thing for another. In this case money for the fruit. But she says that grain would do as well for her. > > Krishna remarks that "The milkmaids make me sit on their lap and make me dance and then give me butter and buttermilk. How about I sit in your lap and let you kiss me? Will you give me fruit then?" > > The woman, somewhat taken aback says, "Oh, but I'm of lower caste, I'm untouchable. Think of all the trouble you'd cause!" > > Krishna says, "I honor no such boundaries" and he plants himself in her lap. > > She begins to cry. Her Bhava through this entire ordeal is PERFECT. > > For someone of his caste to touch her, to show affection for her is extrordinary. It makes her feel special and loved. He's also God. I suspect she knew that inside and felt even more special to have had God sitting in her lap. > > Krishna hugs her and she says, "Here. You may have all my fruit." She wraps it up and as she does he says, "I'll go get you some grain." > > She says, "That is not necessary, you have given me more than enough," but Krishna is undeterred. > > Krishna wanders off to one of the graineries and fills his hands with as much as he can carry. > > On the way back to her however, he loses most of the grain through his fingers and by the time he gets back to her he has but a few grains left. > > He says, "here," she opens her hands, and he puts the grains into them. He then says, "oh there was much more than that, it must have slipped out of my hands." > > "That's okay," she replies, "I'm sure it will fill my basket." > > She puts the grains in her basket and covers them, then she puts the basket on her head and walks home, crying the whole way. > > As she enters her little hut and removes the basket she realizes its more full than it ought to be. Opening the towel she finds a kings ransom in jewels. > > This is the power of surrender. The jewels are devotion. That's what Krishna gives us: devotion. It is his gift to us. > > So that's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to be the old lady. I'm trying to say, "Okay God, as you wish." And I just keep trying to do my best to accomplish what I can. > > I just want to know if there's a way to let go of the stress while I do that. Why must I feel badly about doing my best? Why can't I just let it go, why must it tie my muscles in knotts? Why can't I really mean it, when I say it? > > Oddly enough, writing this has made me feel a lot better. > > Namaste, > > Brian > > > _____________ > No banners. No pop-ups. No kidding. > Make My Way your home on the Web - http://www.myway.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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