Holy Humor

[Guest guest]

Found on the web- Enjoy ...

 

Jai Maa

===================================================

 

1. There was a church that had problems with outsiders parking in

its parking lots, so they put up a sign: CHURCH CAR PARK - FOR

MEMBERS ONLY. Trespassers will be baptized!

 

2. "No, God - No Peace. Know God - Know Peace."

 

3. "Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!"

 

4. "Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin Robbins."

 

5. "Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"

 

6. An ad for one Church has a picture of two hands holding stone

tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline

that reads, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."

 

7. When the restaurant next to another Church put out a big sign

with red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated

with its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too."

 

8. "People are like tea bags -- you have to put them in hot water

before you know how strong they are."

 

9. "Fight truth decay -- study the Bible daily."

 

10. "How will you spend eternity - Smoking or Nonsmoking?"

 

11. "Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives"

 

12. "Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long

and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this

world."

 

13. "It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."

 

14. "Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."

 

15. "If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."

 

16. "If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again."

 

17. "Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain

eternal fire insurance soon."

 

18. "This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?"

 

(U R)

 

19. "In the dark? Follow the Son."

 

20. "Running low on faith? Step in for a fill-up."

 

21. "If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd."

[Guest guest]

Dear Group members,

 

I was seeking some information. I live in Frederick, MD and I want to

conduct Mundan Ceremony for my four year old son. Does anybody know of a

vedic priest in this area. Since I am planning to conduct this ceremony

in the coming Navratras (Oct 15th), I was hoping( and praying) to get

the devi yagna conducted too. Would you happen to know somebody who

would be qualified to do the yagna. Please let me know.

 

Many Thanks,

Ruchi

 

 

Latha Nanda [lathananda]

Tuesday, August 10, 2004 2:28 PM

Holy Humor

 

 

Found on the web- Enjoy ...

 

Jai Maa

===================================================

 

1. There was a church that had problems with outsiders parking in

its parking lots, so they put up a sign: CHURCH CAR PARK - FOR

MEMBERS ONLY. Trespassers will be baptized!

 

2. "No, God - No Peace. Know God - Know Peace."

 

3. "Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!"

 

4. "Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin Robbins."

 

5. "Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"

 

6. An ad for one Church has a picture of two hands holding stone

tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline

that reads, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."

 

7. When the restaurant next to another Church put out a big sign

with red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated

with its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too."

 

8. "People are like tea bags -- you have to put them in hot water

before you know how strong they are."

 

9. "Fight truth decay -- study the Bible daily."

 

10. "How will you spend eternity - Smoking or Nonsmoking?"

 

11. "Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives"

 

12. "Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long

and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this

world."

 

13. "It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."

 

14. "Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."

 

15. "If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."

 

16. "If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again."

 

17. "Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain

eternal fire insurance soon."

 

18. "This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?"

 

(U R)

 

19. "In the dark? Follow the Son."

 

20. "Running low on faith? Step in for a fill-up."

 

21. "If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd."

 

 

 

 

 

 

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