Re:returning demons

[Guest guest]

Dear Latha,

 

You wrote that when you spoke of the healing crisis and releasing

demons that you were referring to demons you thought long slain or

dealt with. I too have experienced this phenomenon, and I believe it

is psychological and spiritual ... well, and on all levels. The onion

is the metaphor I have often heard for dealing with this, peeling the

onion ... you peel away one layer, which is the "demons," all those

things that haunt you from your past, and you think, "poof," they are

gone. Then you go on a bit, and another layer of the onion goes, and

there they are again. Maybe they seem less fearsome, or maybe not ...

but it does seem to be an ongoing process, especially for those who

were traumatized in some way as children. The demon of my own

internalized rage came out in so many ways, I was terrified. And all

along it was only the child who had wanted to be loved and not hurt.

 

I transformed those demons into a dragon (I am an artist, songwriter,

poet), and made friends with the dragon. I wrote a song about it,

"Honor the dragon ... do not be afraid ... the beast will not harm

you, though it may alarm you to look upon its face." Then I wrote a

story about the dragon, and inside myself, I lived the story. The

dragon has become my friend. So when the old demons come back (in

their old forms, not in the dragon), I see them, I acknowledge them,

I say, I recognize you, but you don't control me anymore, and I am

not afraid. The dragon helped me to be not afraid.

 

Of course, now in my own onion, I am dealing with a whole new level of

demons, in the form of my illness and all its symptoms. I am still

working on how to make peace with these. Durga slays the demons ...

it is very powerful to have Her on your side. At the same time, I

will repeat, there is a place in the Chandi where the demons/negative

thoughts ascend to heaven, so even in the Chandi, there is a kind of

accepting and making peace with these negativities. I have learned I

don't root them out by being afraid or by hating them, but by looking

them straight in their faces. That is the blessing of Durga ... a ha

.... you negative thought demon, there you are. I will look you in the

eyes and cut off your head.

 

One of my favorite parts of the Chandi is where it says we will come

to accept all intensities and circumstances. I loved this so much it

became part of a song I wrote. Here is the verse: "I'll stand on my

own two feet; embrace everything that life brings,

all intensities and circumstance will just be part of the fun."

 

Then you must have the chorus, because the song is about giving up sadness.

 

"I'm going to splash in the puddles,

play in the mud,

shout my name out loud,

and draw a crowd,

a curious crowd.

 

I'm gonna wave hello to

everyone I meet;

I'm gonna leave muddy footprints

on the street,

and life will be so sweet,

oh so sweet.

 

Jai Ma!

[Guest guest]

thanks for this thread--when the "demon onslaught" happened to me in

the past, I allowed it to reinforce Nishumba, telling myself I just

wasn't "getting it"...I'd never be "spiritual." I d to the

illusion that "spiritual" people never got discouraged, never got

angry, etc.

 

lately when it's happened, Kali has given me the grace to be able to

thank Her and love Her through it, and now when I'm experiencing one

of those onslaughts and I'm praying to Ma with love, the "demons" are

exposed for what they are, just fluctuations of mind-stuff (to

paraphrase Patanjali). She also makes it clear that this is part of my

purification--burning karma doesn't always smell good but it's still a

good thing for it to burn.

 

this onion-peeling (great metaphor) is a necessary part of our growth

but it can be scary and discouraging--if we allow it to be. you can

see where the rishis came up with Raktabija!

 

we all have to pray for Mother's grace--She's got a lot.

 

Kalibhakta

 

 

 

, nierika@a... wrote:

> Dear Latha,

>

> You wrote that when you spoke of the healing crisis and releasing

demons

> that you were referring to demons you thought long slain or dealt

with. I too

> have experienced this phenomenon, and I believe it is psychological

and

> spiritual ... well, and on all levels. The onion is the metaphor I

have often heard

> for dealing with this, peeling the onion ... you peel away one

layer, which

> is the "demons," all those things that haunt you from your past, and

you

> think, "poof," they are gone. Then you go on a bit, and another

layer of the onion

> goes, and there they are again. Maybe they seem less fearsome, or

maybe not

> ... but it does seem to be an ongoing process, especially for those

who were

> traumatized in some way as children. The demon of my own

internalized rage

> came out in so many ways, I was terrified. And all along it was

only the child

> who had wanted to be loved and not hurt.

>

> I transformed those demons into a dragon (I am an artist,

songwriter, poet),

> and made friends with the dragon. I wrote a song about it, "Honor

the dragon

> ... do not be afraid ... the beast will not harm you, though it may

alarm

> you to look upon its face." Then I wrote a story about the dragon,

and inside

> myself, I lived the story. The dragon has become my friend. So when

the old

> demons come back (in their old forms, not in the dragon), I see

them, I

> acknowledge them, I say, I recognize you, but you don't control me

anymore, and I am

> not afraid. The dragon helped me to be not afraid.

>

> Of course, now in my own onion, I am dealing with a whole new level of

> demons, in the form of my illness and all its symptoms. I am still

working on how

> to make peace with these. Durga slays the demons ... it is very

powerful to

> have Her on your side. At the same time, I will repeat, there is a

place in the

> Chandi where the demons/negative thoughts ascend to heaven, so even

in the

> Chandi, there is a kind of accepting and making peace with these

negativities.

> I have learned I don't root them out by being afraid or by hating

them, but

> by looking them straight in their faces. That is the blessing of

Durga ... a

> ha ... you negative thought demon, there you are. I will look you

in the eyes

> and cut off your head.

>

> One of my favorite parts of the Chandi is where it says we will come

to

> accept all intensities and circumstances. I loved this so much it

became part of

> a song I wrote. Here is the verse: "I'll stand on my own two feet;

embrace

> everything that life brings,

> all intensities and circumstance will just be part of the fun."

>

> Then you must have the chorus, because the song is about giving up

sadness.

>

> "I'm going to splash in the puddles,

> play in the mud,

> shout my name out loud,

> and draw a crowd,

> a curious crowd.

>

> I'm gonna wave hello to

> everyone I meet;

> I'm gonna leave muddy footprints

> on the street,

> and life will be so sweet,

> oh so sweet.

>

> Jai Ma!

[Guest guest]

Kalibhakta

 

hi! can i add one thing to the conversation about the persistence of

demons ...

 

it's that other part of the equation -- time.

 

time, time, time. we don't know how long these things take. ego

believes itself to be situated "beneath" all this stuff, the

quantity of it is unknown.

 

first we underestimate the problem, try and fail, but we deny we

failed; then we overestimate the problem, and we try and fail and

become confused or possibly give up.

 

buried under all this are various expectations and thoughts re:

realization, etc. it cannot be defined by words, yet we are working

towards it; we have heard various ideas from, it is easy, to, it is

the hardest thing to accomplish.

 

one thing we know is, the persistence of the asuras, or the dark

side. we cannot deny them when they appear. HOW LONG does this take,

for them to leave, we want to know. Many spiritual stories relate to

great periods of time and rebirths in the quest for realization, and

this is exactly what they are talking about, this sense of limitless

work, with no end in sight, only faith in the midst of what is often

confusing ... our friend, maya.

 

Consider 2 things: one being, spiritual life can be considered as

just that: for LIFE, in other words, a life-long venture.

 

Another idea to review is Swamiji's recent comment that EVERYONE has

some darkness. I noted he did not say "every unrealized person." So

this could mean, [as far as I understand it] limitation can be

present even within one's own realization.

 

Yet another [third] view states, "weare already realized," but, we

are not [or only] conceptually grasping that.

 

An intellectualized problem goes like this: "I know I am inherently

realized, but my awareness is only intellectual, so therefore it is

not really true."

 

This attitude is actually a little self-defeating, although it has

the benefit of humbleness. But, it disregards the level that the

spirit is working on ... not intellectual only ... but all levels of

existence and awareness.

 

The idea is: limitless perfection. So you can move towards this

perfection, but really, what does this mean" How can you reach the

limitless? If you think about this, you realize, you can give and

give and give, and never "achieve" realization, because even if you

get it, you will at that moment give it away again.

 

"i love you," just like that. then slipping back. then again, "i

love you." since this existence is endlessly creative, this "i love

you" is constantly transforming. [maybe there is no longer even

a "you" there.] the body mind adjusts however it must, sometimes

with pain, hopefully more often with bliss. this is up to a greater

power, we can only make that "i love you" gesture,

in whatever form we can.

 

steve

 

, "kalibhakta" <dr_hampton@h...>

wrote:

> thanks for this thread--when the "demon onslaught" happened to me

in

> the past, I allowed it to reinforce Nishumba, telling myself I just

> wasn't "getting it"...I'd never be "spiritual." I d to the

> illusion that "spiritual" people never got discouraged, never got

> angry, etc.

>

> lately when it's happened, Kali has given me the grace to be able

to

> thank Her and love Her through it, and now when I'm experiencing

one

> of those onslaughts and I'm praying to Ma with love, the "demons"

are

> exposed for what they are, just fluctuations of mind-stuff (to

> paraphrase Patanjali). She also makes it clear that this is part

of my

> purification--burning karma doesn't always smell good but it's

still a

> good thing for it to burn.

>

> this onion-peeling (great metaphor) is a necessary part of our

growth

> but it can be scary and discouraging--if we allow it to be. you can

> see where the rishis came up with Raktabija!

>

> we all have to pray for Mother's grace--She's got a lot.

>

> Kalibhakta

>

>

>

> , nierika@a... wrote:

> > Dear Latha,

> >

> > You wrote that when you spoke of the healing crisis and releasing

> demons

> > that you were referring to demons you thought long slain or dealt

> with. I too

> > have experienced this phenomenon, and I believe it is

psychological

> and

> > spiritual ... well, and on all levels. The onion is the metaphor

I

> have often heard

> > for dealing with this, peeling the onion ... you peel away one

> layer, which

> > is the "demons," all those things that haunt you from your past,

and

> you

> > think, "poof," they are gone. Then you go on a bit, and another

> layer of the onion

> > goes, and there they are again. Maybe they seem less fearsome, or

> maybe not

> > ... but it does seem to be an ongoing process, especially for

those

> who were

> > traumatized in some way as children. The demon of my own

> internalized rage

> > came out in so many ways, I was terrified. And all along it was

> only the child

> > who had wanted to be loved and not hurt.

> >

> > I transformed those demons into a dragon (I am an artist,

> songwriter, poet),

> > and made friends with the dragon. I wrote a song about it, "Honor

> the dragon

> > ... do not be afraid ... the beast will not harm you, though it

may

> alarm

> > you to look upon its face." Then I wrote a story about the

dragon,

> and inside

> > myself, I lived the story. The dragon has become my friend. So

when

> the old

> > demons come back (in their old forms, not in the dragon), I see

> them, I

> > acknowledge them, I say, I recognize you, but you don't control

me

> anymore, and I am

> > not afraid. The dragon helped me to be not afraid.

> >

> > Of course, now in my own onion, I am dealing with a whole new

level of

> > demons, in the form of my illness and all its symptoms. I am

still

> working on how

> > to make peace with these. Durga slays the demons ... it is very

> powerful to

> > have Her on your side. At the same time, I will repeat, there is

a

> place in the

> > Chandi where the demons/negative thoughts ascend to heaven, so

even

> in the

> > Chandi, there is a kind of accepting and making peace with these

> negativities.

> > I have learned I don't root them out by being afraid or by

hating

> them, but

> > by looking them straight in their faces. That is the blessing of

> Durga ... a

> > ha ... you negative thought demon, there you are. I will look

you

> in the eyes

> > and cut off your head.

> >

> > One of my favorite parts of the Chandi is where it says we will

come

> to

> > accept all intensities and circumstances. I loved this so much it

> became part of

> > a song I wrote. Here is the verse: "I'll stand on my own two

feet;

> embrace

> > everything that life brings,

> > all intensities and circumstance will just be part of the fun."

> >

> > Then you must have the chorus, because the song is about giving

up

> sadness.

> >

> > "I'm going to splash in the puddles,

> > play in the mud,

> > shout my name out loud,

> > and draw a crowd,

> > a curious crowd.

> >

> > I'm gonna wave hello to

> > everyone I meet;

> > I'm gonna leave muddy footprints

> > on the street,

> > and life will be so sweet,

> > oh so sweet.

> >

> > Jai Ma!