RE: Perserverence 4-Keep on Keeping On

[Guest guest]

>>>When I first started chanting in Sanskrit. I felt the

resistance. Too Much and Too Little were having a heyday. I wasn't

good enough. Surely my pronunciation was wrong. Then one day I

truly understood "the privilege of worship." From then on,

approaching my altar was pure joy. Starting the opening prayers was

a privilege. I felt excited to have this opportunity. The chanting

had a life of its own. The rhythms and tones were "mine" and I knew

that Lord Shiva or Mother Durga were right there in my heart

enjoying my worship. I never worried about perfection of

pronunciation again.

>From time to time I like to chant with Maa or Swamiji on the tapes

or CD's and each time I learn a little more about correct

pronunciation. But I know Mother loves me just the way I am and she

loves my chanting, even if it sounds like a Russian Orthodox priest

or a Tibetan Buddhist monk....Ardis"<<<

 

Dear Ardis,

It was interesting reading the Russian Orthodox approach

to "resistance" and your own experience with doubts and fears (so

common to all of us, I'm sure).Over and over again, when I come upon

a "problem" of this kind in sadhana (resistance to: getting up

early, doing my practices, holding the asan, doing what I've

committed to doing,putting a nickel in the jar everytime

I "entertain" a negative thought for more than the instant it sits

in my mind), I am realizing that, for me, there is always the same

solution: just offer it. As soon as I offer it to God and ask for

Grace, my mind shuts off because it no longer has to figure things

out and eventually the solution "appears" with great clarity. I have

really Rajasic tendencies and ongoing issues with "doership" so, for

me, the surrender into offering tempers my natural tendency to "push

ahead" with a little too much agression. Making the gesture of

offering seems to quiet all of this down enough so that the

practice, itself, can take over.

About chanting. At the Hindu Temple I go to, the priests are very

specific about chanting "correctly". It's a conservative South

Indian Temple. There have been times when one of the priests has

frowned at me during the Rudram because I mispronounced a word or

didn't chant fast enough (and boy do they chant fast!). In fact, in

this Temple, women are not even supposed to chant the Rudram at all!

It has made me even more grateful for Shree Maa and Swamiji and

their attitude and the support for learning that they offer here.How

could we possibly learn to chant without chanting, mistakes and

all?? I had to laugh at the story of the curse on the Brahmans in

Swamiji's "Chandi Samput" book.It really helped me to put the

whole "chanting properly" thing into perspective and to continue to

work on my chanting with a sense of real joy.

best,

sadhvi