Season's greetings (the LEGAL way)...

December 24, 2004

Found this on the web - Another way of saying Merry Christmas all

y'all !! My thanks and appreciation to the unknown author

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Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best

wishes for an environmentally-conscious, socially responsible, low

stress, non-addictive,gender-neutral, celebration of the

winter/summer solstice holiday, practised within the most enjoyable

traditions of your choice, or secular practice of your choice, with

respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of

others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular

traditions at all AND a fiscally-successful, personally-fulfilled and

medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally

accepted calendar for 2005, but not without due respect for the

calendars of your choice of other cultures whose contributions to

society have helped make our society great (not to imply that our

society is necessarily greater than any other society) and without

regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious

faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference

of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting you are accepting these terms. This

greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely

transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies

no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for

himself or others and is void where prohibited by law and is

revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.

This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual

application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the

issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting (whichever comes first)

and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a

new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Happy holidays!

With kind regards,

Latha

December 26, 2004

Also on the web : the legal way of describing santa's visit:

The Night Before Christmas:

Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain

improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the House") a general lack of

stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse.

A variety of foot apparel, e.g., stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed by and

around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a/

St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus (hereinafter "Claus") would arrive at sometime

thereafter. The minor residents, i.e. the children, of the aforementioned House

were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal

hallucinations, i.e. dreams, wherein vision of confectionery treats, including,

but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and

otherwise appear in said dreams.

Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as

("I"), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the party of the

second part (hereinafter "Mamma"), and said Mamma had retired for a sustained

period of sleep. At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of

headgear, e.g., kerchief and cap.

Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the

unimproved real property adjacent and appurtenant to said House, i.e., the lawn,

a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance. The party of

the first part did immediately rush to a window in the House to investigate the

cause of such disturbance.

At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of

wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter "the Vehicle") being

pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8)

reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was, the

previously referenced Claus.

Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the

approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal

co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner

and Blitzen (hereinafter "the Deer"). (Upon information and belief, it is

further asserted that an additional co- conspirator named "Rudolph" may have

been involved.)

The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer

intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences

located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle

was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of unknown origin or

nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or

implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House, and Claus entered said House via the

chimney.

Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with residue

from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the

aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown items.

He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation

of local ordinances and health regulations.

Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stocking of the minor

children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts.

(Said items did not, however, constitute "gifts" to said minor pursuant to the

applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.)

Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and flew, rose

and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof where the Vehicle and

Deer waited and/or served as "lookouts." Claus immediately departed for an

unknown destination.

However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said House,

the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim: "Merry

Christmas to all and to all a good night!" Or words to that effect.

Sat, 25 Dec 2004 00:18:50 +0000

Latha Nanda lathananda

Season's greetings (the LEGAL way)...

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