To Nanda on love vs attachment

[Guest guest]

Nanda wrote:

What is the difference between love and attachment ? What yardstick

would you use to discriminate when love turns to attachment and vice

versa ?

Dear Nanda ~ in everyday life, to me the difference between love and

attachment is that love has open arms ~ the person or thing may come

or go, but the love stays the same. With attachment, you want to hold

onto the person as much as possible, restricting both of you. With

love, there is an open heart and mind, an ability to see and accept

the person as they are. With attachment there is sometimes an attempt

to make the person into what we'd like them to be or what we thought

we saw when we originally felt the love. Has the person changed? In

my experience, no. What has changed is me, the love has become

attachment, and I start to be picky and dependent. When I am in

"Love" with a person, the world, the universe, a bird, a flower,

there is only joyous connection. When I am attached the connection

becomes not so joyous, but almost like a prison. This gives me the

chance to think what do I really want in life ~ love or attachment.

Of course, the answer is love, so then I must be vigilant about

attachment when it springs up, something I haven't been doing much of

lately. I don't want to feel bad about the attachment, boink it on its

pointy little head, or send it packing. I just want to love and accept

it as part of the process and then, like the clouds passing by, let it

go. By the way, I did read what Swamiji said about attachment to the

guru, so I think that kind of attachment is different. Thank you for

giving me the chance to think about these things. Jai Maa , Jai

Swamiji ~ Linda