Qstn for Group - Turning the other cheek or ???? (Warning: long reply)

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Namaste everyone,

 

Here is a situation that sometimes "eats away" at me.

 

A while back, my Mom and I lent my younger sister "A"

and her boyfriend (she later broke up) "Z" some money

in order to put a down payment on a place they wanted

to buy. I also gave my sister some money to pay

for auto insurance on a car that her boyfriend let her

drive. My mom also paid for some car repairs on that

car. I also gave my sister a check so that she could

open up a savings account in her own name; however,

she put that check in a joint account that she had

with that boyfriend.

 

Anyway, the house deal fell through, and "A" and "Z"

decided to stay in their appartment for a while..

My Mom and I tried to get our money back from "Z" with

no luck.

 

Later, "A" and "Z" broke up. Mom and I tried to get

our money back again with no luck. "Z" canceled the

car insurance, and kept the money I gave my sister.

"Z" also refuses to give my sister back her personal

belongings that are in his appartment.

 

My mom is going to call the Sherrif to see if someone

can accompany her to "Z's" appartment in order to

retrieve my sister's stuff. "Z" claims to have

thrown it away; however, I hope that he is lying about

that.

 

I would like to contact a lawyer to see if Mom and I

can get our money back. We had oral agreements, not

written agreements; therefore, I'm not sure if I will

have any luck; however, it's worth a try. If you can

recommend any lawyers in the San Jose, California area

or the Sacramento, California area, that would be

wonderful!

 

Mom and I have been a bit overprotective of "A"

because "Z" is very emotionally abusive. We are glad

that "A" was able to escape "Z's" brainwashing.

 

Anyway, when my sister and her new husband (a

different guy, thank goodness!) needed money to rent

a house, I made sure to type an informal loan

agreement, and I had both "A" and her husband, "S"

sign and date the paper. I still have it, in case

something similar happens.

 

Although the money that I lent "Z" and "A" is not a

huge deal, the fact that "Z" still has the money is

very annoying. Perhaps this is some past life karma

coming back to haunt me.

 

If the lawyer and I can't get the money back; I will

feel at peace, knowing that I at least tried. If one

person learns from my story, and becomes more

cautious, I will feel happy, because my problems will

have helped someone.

 

My sister, of course, is more important that money,

which is Maya, just a representation.

 

Anyway, I try to be nice and helpful; however, I am

also learning to stand up for myself, and not to let

other people take advantage of me.

 

On the other hand, if other people feel that I am

taking advantage of them, I hope that they would tell

me, so that I can change my actions.

 

Nanda, thank you for bringing up a "hot" question.

 

Dawn

 

 

--- Nanda <chandimaakijai wrote:

>

> Dear All,

>

> I have heard a revered friend say this many years

> ago "Do not exploit or be exploited by people"

>

> This is especially true for people that want to

> progress in the spiritual path.

>

> Not exploiting - atleast is in our control (one

> would think) and we can be aware when we are trying

to be manipulative.

>

> But not being exploited ... this is very tricky

> especially as we go about our business in this

world.

>

> How does one handle situations where one is being

> exploited ? Does one turn the other cheek ? Does one

confront the situation ? How do we bring harmony to a

situation ?

>

> Anyone have any ideas ? I am sure all of us have

> been in both situations - with power to exploit and

helpless enough to be exploited. I look forward to

your well reasoned and intuitive ideas especially with

a spiritual perspective.

>

> Love

> Nanda

>

>

>