What I know for sure---

[Guest guest]

While thinking about the three gunas as reflected in a person's

devotion, something that Ramakrishna said about one kind of devotion

seemed to be reflected in Nanda's request for a blessing from Maa and

Swamiji for the current group sankalpa. Nanda asked for everyone

mentioned to be blessed and also for "all the other silent sadhus out

there." I thought that was nice. Ramakrishna said, "When people have

sattwic devotion, they meditate in private." When I know it's OK to

be silent, I feel very happy to sing my silent song.

 

What I know for sure---

We all sing the same song.

[Guest guest]

Well, you know, Loving Maa, no matter how badly I feel from time to

time, I always believe somewhere deep inside that somehow, sometime,

my deepest sincerest intentions for myself will bear fruit. So far, as

I gaze backward, this had been true.The future may sometimes be dark,

yet hope remains...

 

If you truely desire a place to lay your spiritual heart, I believe

you will find it, and the capacity to do it.

 

With Love,

 

May God bless you,

 

Chris

 

 

 

, Loving Maa <om_and_amen> wrote:

> On behalf of all the Kings and Queens of Doubt and Frustration

reading and wailing, thanks are extended to Chris for his post

(below). The answer to his question is "I don't know." Ramakrishna

writes of devotion as being of three kinds. This is explained in

Ramakrishna The Nectar of Bliss starting on page 73.

>

> What I know for sure---

> Sometimes my devotion is tamasic.

>

> Chris Kirner <chriskirner1956> wrote:

> Dear Loving Maa,

>

> I hope you don't mind that I am responding to your post. I gather from

> reading this thread that you don't really want any well-intentioned

> replies, but if that is so, why after so long have you chosen this

> particular time to post?

>

> So I will endeavor to help...

>

> I see that not only are you frustrated in your efforts, but that you

> are having doubts as well. Well, join the club. I am the King of Doubt

> and Frustration (mostly self-doubt though). I do not doubt the

> existence of God or the reality of enlightenment, having tasted,

> however briefly and distantly, both. But if you want to talk

> frustration, I've tramped that path a lot, esp. lately.

>

> As Steve said in his post, I think this frustration is a painful but

> necessary part of the journey. Swami Rama wrote that the aspirant puts

> everything he has into the practices and disciplines, until he reaches

> the end of his efforts. At that point he cries out to God, and that

> cry is parambhakti, the ultimate cry of devotion. God hears that cry

> and bestows His grace.

>

> All of us are different; all of us have different karmic loads,

> abilities to surrender, strength of will, and character. My

> frustration with God and Guru seems laughable when you compare my

> pitifully small capacity to do sadhana with that of other devotees.

> Yet I have certainly had my share and more of graces.

>

> I don't think there is any simple answer for your situation (or mine

> either). There must be a reason you have been lurking here steadily

> for the past couple years. If there is any faith in you about the

> divine awareness of Maa and Swamiji, perhaps if you can lay yourself

> at their feet, ask their advise, then follow it, you will eventually

> find that which you most desire.

>

> I am reminded of a sadhu story. I apologize, this is a well know story

> with actual historical people, but as is usually the case with me, I

> don't remember all the details (like who they were). In any case, it

> is a good story, and one that give me some measure of comfort.

>

> There was a famous Swami, very devoted to Divine Mother, who spent his

> days in worship, tapasya, and teaching. Finally, after many years, he

> began to feel the breath of time close on his heels. His life was

> nearing its end and though he was well known, respected, and had many

> students, he had not attained enlightenment; he had never had the

> darshan of Divine Mother he had served for so long.

>

> So, one day he simply got up and left the ashram where he lived, and

> all of his students, to search for someone who could help him across

> that final hurdle. He wandered for some time, and everywhere he went

> he was recognized for the teaching he had spent his life doing, but

> nowhere did he find anyone to help him achieve enlightenment.

>

> Finally, he established himself in a certain cremation ground and

> began his practices there. He determined that he would remain there

> until either he died, or got the darshan of Divine Mother. One night

> while he was engaged in his worship a certain Master was passing and

> saw the sadhu there. This Master recognized the sadhu and his dilemma

> and in compassion for him determined to help him, so he waited until

> the sadhu's practices were finished and introduced himself.

>

> When the sadhu learned who this Master was, expressing his great

> frustration, he begged the Master's help to attain enlightment. He

> said," Master, all of my life have I worshipped and strove with all of

> my strength. I have taught others the ways and means to achieve

> enlightenment, and now as I near the end of my life I have still not

> experienced it myself. Please, I know it is within your power, help me."

>

> The Master replied, "Your karma is such that you will not achieve

> enlightenment in this lifetime. You are prevented from doing so."

>

> The sadhu begged him to allow him to see the form of his beloved

> Divine Mother and give him samadhi.

>

> Filled with compassion for the sadhu, the Master relented, saying,

> "Very well, I will do this for you," and Divine Mother apperaed there,

> in the cremation ground in all her graceful beauty.

>

> For a moment the sadhu was dumbstruck with wonder, but suddenly his

> face contorted with rage and he yelled at her, "What kind of a Mother

> are you! All of these years of yearning after you, of serving you, and

> only now do you come!" And Divine Mother vanished.

>

> The sadhu sat in silence for a moment, and then he cried,"Oh what have

> I done?"

>

> The Master looked at him with compassion and said, "It was inevitable.

> It was your karma."

>

> In the place where Divine Mother had stood there now lay a fine yantra

> of Her form. The Master instructed the sadhu in the worship of the

> yantra, which is said to still exist even today.

>

> The story as I read it contains information about the sadhu's eventual

> enlightenment and death, but since I don't recall the specifics I'll

> leave things as they are. In any case, I'm sure you see the parallels

> with yourself.

>

> May God bless you,

>

> Chris

>

>

>

>

>

>